A/N: Review dealing time:

Angel sumoritos: Ty Ty Ty, what exactly is wrong, glad you love it!

Paige Halliwell: Ty and I read those other fics in different sites but I don't remember where.

sarah01: Glad you like it , and I only said willow did things in a non gay way cause when sdhe came out, it was from the bathroom and when she was stroking the candle (a penis shape object) it wasn't sexual cuase she's GAY NOW! and doesn't like men.

review or bitch whatever.

Title: My Baby's Father.

Chapter Dues Ex Machine Freaking Magic Snow.

Dawn flounced in the living and fell on the couch. She rolled her eyes and screamed: "Get out, Get out GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUTT!" She smiled as she waited for someone to come and pay attention to her. She of course forgot she was left alone. She frowned and called again. "Get out, Get out GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUTT!"

Spike opened the door and looked around franticly for Buffy. If the dumb-ass would've use his vampire smelling, he would've found out Buffy was not there. But we all know Spike wasn't thinking with his brain, but with another organ. His heart, you perverts!

"Little bit." Spike noticed the figment-of-the-monks-imagination. "Do you know where big sis went?"

"Is always Buffy, Buffy, Buffy with you. Here's me basking in love." Dawn scowled for no reason.

"Right." Spike backed away. "See you." He quickly left.

Dawn pouted. She decided to go out at night in a town where girls her age die on a daily basis. You know, cause she's dumb.

"Hey, Willow." Xander greeted as he walked out of the bathroom and sat with his friend at the research table. Willow, of course, was breathing heavily and taking swigs of water to battle her addiction to magick. "I see you're doing better." Xander said proving that his sense of the obvious had left the building a season or two back.

Anya stepped out of the bathroom, straightening her skirt and pulling her brown locks into a nice bum. "Well now that I'm satisfied I'll go do some inventory." She said skipping to the backroom.

The annoying little bell jingled as the shop door opened. Xander and Willow turned around to see Clem come in with a big grin as always. "Hey Guys." Clem greeted. "I just came to buy some candles. Hot date tonight."

"Oh really? With who?" Xander asked scarfing down a bag of Doritos that just appeared out of nowhere.

"Sophie."

Pause.

"Who?"

"You know, at Buffy's party. The one who wasn't you, or me, or Willow, or Anya, or Dawn, or Tara, or Buffy, or Spike." Clem explained.

"Oh the guy in the red shirt!" Willow perked up. "You're Gay, Clem! Just like me!" Willow said handing Clem her 'Gay Now' wristbands.

"No, the girl."

"Oh. Ok then." Willow sat back down and gulped down 6 more gallons of water.

Clem picked some slug candles and took them to the register. Anya walked back out, her red curls bouncing as she skip to behind the counter. "That'll be 10. 85." She said smiling.

"Here." Clem paid, smiling back. "Oh by the way, why was Buffy buying toothpaste so late?" He inquired.

"She was?" Willow puzzled. "But I bought plenty of toothpaste on my last water run."

"Well she was hanging by the pregnancy test..." The girls went quiet, realizing what that could mean. Xander decided to ask.

"Why would Buffy be by pregnancy tests?"

Everyone took turns slapping Xander.

Tara sat in her dorm-room reading a book titled: 'How to get your name on the opening credits'. Suddenly the door was kicked down and Buffy walked in. "Buffy? Hi." Tara said sweetly.

"Hi. I... I'm kind of in trouble."

"W-w-what is it?" Tara asked in her mother tone.

"I'm... I'm..." Buffy stared at Tara with her big hazel eyes. Bringing in those Emmy-award-winning-tears, that would not ruin her Maybelin Mascara. "I'm pregnant."

"Y-y-y-y-you're what?" Tara said in her most non-confrontational way. "F-f-from S-s-s-pike?"

"Yes. I know it sounds crazy. But he's the only one that I've been with. On his bed. In abandon buildings. At the Bronze. At the Magic Box research table. In your bed when you're in class." Tara jumped up and made a mental note to burn the mattress. "I thought vampires couldn't have children!" Buffy sighed. "That stupid Angel must've lied to me. I'm so piss at him right now."

"M-maybe we should research it." Tara offered.

Buffy panicked. "But... them I would have to tell them... that I've been having sex with Spike. On every cemetery. In my front porch. At the mall last week. At-"

"I get it Buffy!" Tara screamed forgetting her character. "That is, I mean, I'm s-s-sure they'll understand."

Dawn walked down the street and saw a really, really dark corner. She flounced her way in, her shiny hair lighting a trail behind her. She crept in the shadow-y corner. "Hello?" She asked making sure anything dangerous would see that she was there alone.

"Hello." A mysterious voice mysteriously said from the shadows.

"Hi. Will you pay attention to me?" Dawn asked pouting.

"Something like that."

Spike sat at the curb on the street. He moped and moped some more. Where was Buffy? Was she ok?

"Spike." Spike looked up too see a dark, brooding, puffy and dork-y figure looming.

"Oh bloody hell."

To be continued...