A/N: Ty for your reviews, sorry for the wait... that's it! tootles! Oh and I'm accepting unsign reviews so you have no excuses to not review the hell out of this!

Title: My Baby's Father.

Chapter Trio Of Arch-Nemesis:

Angel stood there, looming over Spike for a few minutes. Suddenly he collapsed on the ground and made a constipated face. "Connor... " He delivered with maximum angst. Spike looked at him oddly, eyebrow raised.

"What the bloody hell has gotten into you?"

"Oh sorry." Angel stood back up and dusted his coat. "Habit." He explained.

"Right, then." Spike stood up as well. "So what brings tall dark and forehead here?"

Angel sighed broody-like. "Well since Cordelia decided dump me for a Pylean prince I decided to fix things up with Buffy." Spike spat his soda on Angel. (I know I never mentioned it, but I always find that bit funny. Yes, you don't want me laughing when I'm drinking around.) Angel brooded over this.

"So you think you can just pop in here and sweep the slayer off here feet? Bloody 'ELL!" Spike ranted.

"I know you're sleeping with her." Angel said brooding.

"That's DAMN right!" Spike spat. Literally. "And she's very satisfied!" He added.

"And where is she now?"

Pause.

"That's what I thought." Angel brooded and walked away.

"Hmm, this is the life." Giles said to himself as he sat in his comfy chair of his spacious London apartment. He stretched his arms and sighed. No whining young people flaunting their sex lives in front of him. This was true bliss. He hoped nothing crazy would happen in the Hellmouth that would make him have to leave this precious existence. Well if would have to be something big. And very crazy. Like vampire having kids or something. But that's just silly. And incredibly inconsistent. He relaxed a bit and took a nice nap.

Anya ran her hand through her platinum hair as she sat by the research table. Willow and Xander were too shock to speak. Clem smiled even though he was shocked too. But he's always smiling. So he didn't stop. Willow decided to start. "Well if she is pregnant... who's the father? I mean, has she even dated since she came back? I haven't noticed since I'm Gay Now!"

No one understood what that had to do with anything. Xander decided to jump in. "Maybe she slept with Riley. You know, when he came here."

"Don't be silly." Anya quickly dismissed. "Riley was even lamer than when he first was here. No woman or man or any alive, dead or undead would willingly sleep with him." Everyone nodded agreeing.

"What about Sam?" Xander asked as he finished his family size pizza.

"Oh she's clearly on drugs." Anya said with a smile. At the mention of the word 'drug' Willow breathed heavily and shook slightly.

"Wasn't Buffy seeing Spike?" All eyes fell on Clem.

"What are you talking about?" Anya asked curious.

"Well they've been together for some time now."

"Together doing what?" Xander asked out-of-the-loop-y.

"Having sex." Anya said perkily. "I knew they were getting it on!"

"What?" Willow half chuckled. "That's crazy... right?"

"Of course is crazy!" Xander yelled. "Spike EVIL!"

"Yeah... but..." Anya started. "But have you seen his tight, hot, bend-y looking body?"

"Yeah..." Willow, Clem and Xander answered dreamily. Willow shook the thought off as she was Gay Now, and therefor did not care for men. Xander shook the thought cause he love-I mean, loathes Spike. Clem... no he kept picturing the naked vamp.

The little bell jingled and Buffy and Tara waltz in. Willow stood up. "Stop dancing with Tara! I'm the one that's Gay Now and love my hot gay loving!"

"Oh sorry." Buffy said as she let go of Tara. "We ran into Sweet on the way here." Buffy then noticed Clem in the room. "Clem! What are you doing? And here?"

"Hi Buffy." Clem said with a smile. I so want whatever his using to keep that happy mood. It seems to last long.

"Clem was telling us about how you and Spike have been having sex." Anya told in her most tactless way. Buffy went completely red.

"Like Bunnies." Clem added. Anya frown and slapped Clem. Clem smiled back.

"Thanks for those nightmares!" Anya screamed as she ran to the backroom. Her black pigtails following behind. Xander followed her, not wanting to hear about Buffy sleeping with an undead guy again.

"So... are you pregnant?" Willow asked while drinking a bottle of Evian. Yes is nice to count on Envian when you're battling your addiction magick. Who cares if Buffy is working in a crappy job to pay for stuff while Willow just gulps down expensive water and sleep on the main bedroom?

"I'm... I'm..."

"Buffy!" Buffy turned around to see non other than than... a very dork-y looking man. Oh wait! It's Angel.

"Angel..." Buffy said soulfully.

"Buffy..." Angel said soulfully.

"You lying, stupid son of a bitch!" Buffy jumped on Angel and started to beat the shit out him. Willow, Tara and Clem stood there looking for a bit.

"Hi Tara." Willow greeted smiling.

"Hi." Tara greeted back blushing.

"You lied to me bitch!" Buffy delivered another punched. "Vamps can have children!"

"So you know?" Angel asked after Buffy punched him.

"Of course I know!" Buffy said kicking Angel with her stylish yet affordable boot.

"Who told you about my son?"

Pause.

"That's not what you were talking about right?" Angel asked as he saw everyone staring at him.

To be continued...