A/N: Ok, I'm like updating really slooooooooooww, but I try to speed myself up, so give me time, woo! Also, I have no Buffyverse title with a 6, so if someone can suggest one if would rock, ty and bye!

Title: My Baby's Father.

Chapter 4-EVA!

Dawn was tied o a chair in some evil lair... nah, she was at the Bronze. "What? Does the owner rent this place to the demon of the week?" Dawn muttered.

"Actually he does." The Mysterious voice mysteriously said from a shadow-y corner.

"Oh. Well ok." Dawn smiled. Then she remembered she was tied to a chair by a demon. "BUFFYYYYYYYYYYYY!" She screeched.

"MY EARS!"

"You have ears?" Dawn wondered. "Who are you?"

The figure walked out of the shadow to reveal he was non other than Ethan Rayne. "I'm a friend."

"Hey, aren't you that guy from those pictures I found on Giles..." Dawn suddenly went quiet. "Oh never mind." Ethan smiled remembering his demon orgy parties with Ripper.

"You have a son!" Buffy said slapping Angel.

"Ow." Angel rubbed his face. "And yes, I do."

"Whoa! Vampires can have children?" Willow's big brain suddenly started to work again. "But... vampires are dead bodies. I mean the thought of them even having sex is something that just leads to many questions, since they don't have any blood pumping through their veins and therefor, in theory, they wouldn't have sperm-"

"Buffy!" Spike screamed as he stormed in the room.

"Spike..." Buffy blushed as Spike walked in.

"As I was saying, I do have a son, but he's gone." Angel fell on the floor again and made that face. "Connor..." Everyone stared.

"Um... right." Buffy rolled her eyes. Why? Cause that's what she did.

"Ok, why don't we focus on Buffy's baby first?" Clem offered smiling. The emotionally fragile vampires fainted.

"So like, what are you doing here?" Dawn asked so Ethan would get close enough so she could steal his wallet.

"Causing chaos as usual." Ethan said not noticing his wallet slipping out of his pocket as he had his back turned.

"Oh that's nice." Dawn, counted the twenties with her tied up hands. "Wait! What does that have to do with me?"

"You're the key, aren't you?"

"No. I'm real! Get out, Get out GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUTT!"

"Would you stop with that annoying screeching!"

"Sorry. Force a habit." Dawn pouted her cute little pout.

Ethan walked over to the pool table where his minions, Harmony, Oz, and two nameless and permanently vamp faced vamps, stood. "The plan is simple. Me and my minions will go through a very complicated plot that will take months of pacing around before we actually do anything-"

"Oz?" Dawn interrupted. "You're and evil minion guy?"

"Yes." Oz monotoned.

"Why?"

"Money."

"Is that all?"

"No."

"What else?"

"Sex."

"Oh. Ew. That's gross. I'm 15, people!"

"As I was saying-"

"Like, why don't we just attack Buffy?" Harmony interrupted Ethan.

"Cause is not bloody time!" Ethan snapped.

"Oh."

"You guys are very lame, but way better than the Trio." Dawn said while somehow stealing the drum sticks by the instruments.

"Well this is new." Willow said shaking slightly cause she was addictive. Like addicts. To magic. Magick, it's not just a metaphor anymore.

"Why do they get to pass out? I'm the one who's pregnant with Spike's child of the damn."

"M-maybe we should -t-try waking them up." Tara offered.

"What... what happened?" Angel asked standing up.

"You fainted like the wussy man you turned into." Buffy said punching a shelf.

"Hey that's wasting money!" Anya screamed as she and Xander walked back in.

"Why is Spike passed out on the floor?" Xander asked as he almost tripped on his sexy body.

"He doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions." Buffy said while kicking Spike.

"Looks like the hormones are kicking in." Anya said cleaning up the expensive mess the slayer's made.

"Well, if Spike doesn't want to be a man." Angel started as he kneeled down.

"Oh my Goddess." Tara shook her head at what Angel was about to lamely do.

"Will you marry me Buffy?"

To be continued...