What Yoda Taught Me
by Saber Girl Jaina
A/N: WH007! People really like this! I am ubër happy. Leia and I thank you all for your reviews. I wanted to go ahead and get this up, but we'll respond to them individually next chapter.
A/N 2: (Re-post) Sorry if this chapter was down for a bit, but something needed fixing: while I generally consider disclaimers something not to be taken too seriously, that's because I figure putting stuff in a section labeled "Star Wars" is a pretty good clue as to who owns this stuff. (Same disclaimers as in first chappy apply to this whole fic.) This, installation, however contains a reference to Terry Prachet in the third entry. So read the list, and then read some Prachet novels. They're like Douglass Adams, but fantasy.
P.S.: EPISODE III ROCKS!
What Yoda taught me about WEAPONRY "Lightsaber it may not be, but much pain I can cause you with my stick!"
What Yoda taught me about DROID REPAIR "Aside from being excellent disciplinary aid, stick many other uses has. Result in resuming of normal functions in droids, repeated thumping with stick may."
What Yoda taught me about WILDERNESS SURVIVAL "Eat not the mushrooms with doors and windows."
What Yoda taught me about HOW TO DEAL WITH ODD FOOD "If move it does, complain not. Rude this is. Simply whack with stick until cease, the movement does."
What Yoda taught me about HOLIDAYS "My relatives, Santa's elves are. See to it that you get coal, I can."
What Yoda taught me about COMPLAINING UNDER YOUR BREATH "Not simply for show, these ears are. Face the wrath of the stick, you will."
What Yoda taught me about THE FUTURE "Set in stone, it is not. Still, unlikely it is that you will find enough parts to repair that droid, if continue to bother me it does."
What Yoda taught me about PERSPECTIVE "If going nowhere, the fighter is, then a stove, this is, not an atmospheric engine."
What Yoda taught me about EXCEPTIONS "If capable of eating the droid it is, then for once, worthless, the stick may be."
What Yoda taught me about SIZE "Size, for the most part, matters not. Attempting to fit through small holes, the exception is."