A/N: Thanks to Jesouhaite for the beta.

Part 5

"You like nice today," Sookie commented as Lorelai entered the Independence Inn kitchen for another round of coffee.

"It's a nice spring day. I felt like dressing up a little." Lorelai shrugged, taking a sip. "Ahh," she smiled. "Perfect."

Sookie eyed her curiously. "There's something different about you. It's like

you--" Sookie's eyes grew wide and she let a shrill squeal. Lorelai winced and looked strangely at her friend as she burst out, "You're pregnant! Aren't you? You are!"

"Sookie, no," Lorelai spat out. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm not—no, far from." She shook her head in disgust. "And what good would that be anyways? I'd just be in the same position I was with Rory. Except thank God, I'm not 16 anymore."

"Nope, 35." Sookie seemed to add the unnecessary mention of Lorelai's recent birthday as a dig.

Lorelai made a face. "That sounds so old. And sorry I snapped at you, but that just wouldn't be--" She sighed, leaning against the counter, thinking how much different it would be to raise a child almost twenty years later. It couldn't possibly be harder than at sixteen, but it couldn't be easier either. "Well, you know. I apologize Sookie, I'm just a little flustered."

"Why? Did you have a bad birthday? You didn't expect some big thing, did you? Because we're still on for this weekend, right?"

"Yeah, the weekend's great," Lorelai said absentmindedly.

"What's going on, hon?" Sookie paused her chopping, studying her best friend.

Lorelai smiled a half-smile. "I kissed Luke."

"Ahhh!" Sookie bounced up and down much like Rory had. "Finally!"

"No, not finally. What do you mean finally? I'm married, I can't go around kissing diner owners."

"Not even sweet, hunky ones?" Sookie queried. Lorelai tried not to look amused.

"Hunky?" Lorelai quibbled over this vocabulary. Luke was hunky she guessed. Hot. Hot was much better.

"Oh come on, he's got those big arms and that scruff thing going on. Only certain guys can pull that off."

"The scruff is what got me," Lorelai admitted. "Maybe because Max can't grow facial hair to save his life—agh, listen to me, Sook. I cannot sit here comparing my husband to my--" Whatever Luke is these days. "It's just wrong."

"Well, didn't you go to Luke's this morning? What did you say to him?"

"We're talking tonight, but I apologized. It's a weird time for me, you know that."

Sookie rolled her eyes. "But did you leave any room, any leeway for him to think this might be more than a 'oops moment'?"

"Well, I--" Lorelai shifted uncomfortably. Luke hadn't been too happy this morning. "No, I guess not." She felt like a bitch now.

"Lorelai, how could you? You can't just kiss Luke, who's had a thing for you for years, who was devastated you were getting married and yet is being so supportive now, and then basically tell him he still has no chance."

"But I didn't tell him that!" Lorelai insisted. Sookie gave her a look. She sighed in defeat. "I'm sure he thought that though, you're right. But I can't let him think we have a chance, can I? I'm just starting the divorce process, it's messy and needless to say, I'm not in the best place emotionally. I can't ask him to put up with that."

"Well, all I'm saying is leave it out there on the table."

Lorelai nodded, taking heed of Sookie's advice, but at the same time wondering if that was possible. Their relationship had always been delicate and the way she saw it, someone was going to get hurt.

"Hey," Lorelai smiled broadly at Luke as she entered the diner. It was nice, she realized, to be able to feel comfortable (or relatively comfortable) after kissing your best friend.

"Hey." Luke set a mug of coffee out for her. "You want a brownie? Pie?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No thanks." She suddenly felt very aware of Luke's gaze as she sipped her coffee.

"So…" Lorelai trailed off, her prepared speech had faded from her brain as soon as she'd set foot in the door.

"We can go upstairs." Luke's face flushed as soon as he said the words. "I mean—if you want."

Lorelai watched Luke squirm a little and then replied. "No, that's—good idea. This isn't really diner talk." Of course, this isn't the usual talk you have with someone you've known for years, the person whose girlfriend you were jealous of, the one you were most nervous to tell about the wedding. It felt weird to be in Luke's apartment; Lorelai wasn't sure where to sit and for a moment she wished they had stayed downstairs. She knew her place there: across the counter, as the customer. They had their strict roles downstairs but outside of the diner the lines had always been blurred.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." Luke spoke up, leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed.

"No, I have—I've been thinking about what I said this morning. I didn't mean to imply, I didn't want you to think that--"

"Lorelai, it's okay. We can just forget about it." Luke tried to wave it off.

"Maybe I don't want to forget about it." Lorelai was surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth.

"Maybe you should," Luke replied sharply.

"But I--"

"No, it's fine. You've got too much other crap going on right now to worry about this." To worry about me, Lorelai interpreted. What do you want from me, Luke?

"I don't think I—I don't want to forget it. It was the best kiss I've had in a long time." At first he thought she was kidding, playing on his emotions as usual. He was fed up with that, but then he saw the look on her face.

"Oh?" He swallowed.

"Yeah." Luke hadn't even realized she was moving towards him until her lips were on his again. She twisted the fabric of his shirt in her fists, pulling him harder into the kiss. Luke couldn't find it in him to object. Rational thought flew out the window. It was just he and Lorelai, the way he had wanted for longer than he cared to remember. She didn't taste bitter like the coffee she inhaled. She was warm and sweet and melted into him. His fingers found the soft skin of Lorelai's stomach and rubbed his thumb beneath the edge of her shirt, making her moan as she kissed his neck, nibbled at his ear. His belt buckle was in her hands when he pulled away. "Lorelai, we can't--"

"Fuck." Then she laughed nervously, realizing she had unknowingly finished his sentence. "Luke, I'm so—agh, what am I doing?"

"It's just as much me as it is you. I'm not making things any easier."

That's for sure, mister, Lorelai thought. It was killing her not to be touching him. But that wasn't her place. "What the hell are we doing?" she sighed.

He wanted to tell her then, tell her how many times he's thought about her at night, how he remembered the first day she came in the diner, why Rachel left, how it had torn him apart to see her so happy with Max and how it pained him seeing her so unhappy now. But he pushed it to the back of his mind like he had for the past six years. He flicked the switch in his brain back into best friend mode. "I don't know. You were right this morning. We can't do this."

Lorelai had never wanted to be wrong more in her life. "God, I shouldn't have—I'm so sorry, Luke."

"It's okay." Luke touched her shoulder lightly.

"No, it's not. It's not!" Lorelai stood, shoving her hands in her pockets. "My marriage is falling apart and now I'm—I don't mean to well, lead you on." She looks up at him, guilt hidden behind the apology and in the clear blue of her eyes.

She knew what she should say. It had been stuck in her head for the past 24 hours. She should say she'd had feelings for him longer than she cared to admit. She should say she couldn't do this: she was married. She should say she half-wished he had never made her the chuppah, because it always reminded her of him and rarely of her wedding to Max.

Luke wasn't used to this. He was used to Lorelai being overly verbose (ok, that was redundant) but that's how talkative she usually was. Even though he had seen her upset and subdued over the years, this was different.

"Lorelai?" He sighed in exasperation.

"I think I like you." She replied suddenly and that seemed to be the switch that needed to be flipped. "Luke, say something, please. You're making me nervous and when I get nervous I talk and--"

"You think you like me?"

"Yeah." She said almost shyly.

"Wait? Like like?"

"Are we in seventh grade, Luke?"

"Just answer the question."

Lorelai stared stubbornly back at him for a minute. "Ok, yeah. That's what I meant."

"That's--"

"Just, wait." Lorelai begged, her voice breaking slightly. "But we can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Do this," she whispered.

"Of course we can. Unless you--"

"No, I just—Luke, I'm married. It's not an issue of whether I—well I just can't. We can't."

"So let me get this straight. You want us to hold off on our feelings—our mutual feelings until--"

"Until the divorce is through. Yes. It's best for me. Is there something unclear about my request?" She knew that had come out wrong and she cringed as she watched Luke tense up, his jaw clenching into the "oh you've really pissed me off now" position.

"Then call me after the divorce, Lorelai. I'll wait. It's what I've been doing for the past six damn years." The door slammed and Lorelai felt it resonate in the pit of her stomach. She sighed, found her coat, and rushed downstairs, but the diner was empty. Her shoes seemed to click loudly on the floor as she checked the storage room and kitchen, both to no avail. Lorelai let herself out, partly so she could escape, but at the same time giving Luke his space and some time to cool off.

She was sick of playing this game. It was an adult version of hide and seek. And no, not "adult" in the "dirty" sense. One of them might be brave enough to race toward home base as long as the other wasn't aware, as long as the other was still in denial. She had been stuck there for a long time—when she first found out about Rachel, when Rachel came back and maybe even her whole engagement to Max, but she didn't like to think about that since it was still a jumbled mess stuffed in her closet at home. There had been millions of moments in between the hiding when she thought she and Luke were moving slowly toward the same place. But now Luke was hiding again; he was in her line of vision but she was more concerned about getting back to the base, the straight path. What would it be like once she got there? She would be alone and she didn't want that. She wanted them both to be running full force towards it, so fast that they don't see each other and collide—wham! on the way there. Damn timing. Stupid path. Home base, Lorelai sighed as she let herself inside.