A/N- Thanks so much for all your awesome reviews! I promise next chapter I will have an answer to all of them. I really hope you like this chapter, I thought I would incorporate some of the other character's feelings as well as Olivia's.

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU, Dick Wolf does and I'm pretty sure he isn't going to give it to me… (tear)

Olivia's chest heaved up and down as she ran through the events that occurred in this very unreal day. She was sitting in an ambulance in front of Kathy's house, mindlessly listening to the sirens blaring around her. There was so much that had gone on in one day, it was getting harder by the second to comprehend. Just seconds ago she was screaming in her radio for an ambulance, and holding Kathy's limp body in her hands as blood gushed from the blond's head. She remembered Elliot falling unconscious seconds after Kathy shot herself, either from shock or the cold finally setting into hypothermia.

Anyway the police saw the situation it all came down to her. She knew the questions that were coming, and she knew they wouldn't be pretty. But what scared her is that if she'd have an answer to them. They had told her to wait for the detectives to come and take her statement she knew the process.

Detectives were going to come look over the crime scene, ask incriminating questions, tell her that it was 'ok' and act like they cared. Then when they went back to their precinct and mull over the number of things they could charge with their ADA. But in the end it's all the same, just another case and another heartless mistress tearing a family apart. She laughed sadly as she thought of the irony in the situation, cause she had done the same thing hundreds of times before. Dam karma.

Olivia gave a shaky sigh as she felt tears beginning to swell up in her eyes, she thought of how everything was going to be now, how it would never be the same. And it never would be the same. Once again the only thing she need in her life would never be there. Normalcy. From John and Fin's constant bickering, to Elliot's comforting smile when a particular case hit close to home. Funny, how all the trust and caring that took six years to build … came down in a few hours.

A voice to the right of her shook her out of her thoughts, "Olivia,"

Olivia turned her head startled at the voice's familiarity, "John?"

"Yeah," the aging detective said in a hoarse voice, "How are you doing?" he said taking a seat beside her in the already small ambulance.

"I'm…" She didn't really know how she was doing herself, "I'm holding up,"

He nodded his head slightly as he glued his eyes to his hands, "Good." there was a nervous silence for a second before he breathed in deeply and continued, "They took Elliot to the hospital," He paused looking up at her for a reaction, "He slipped into hypothermia for a while but he'll be ok,"

"That's good," she said simply. 'At least he'll be alright physically…' she thought to herself.

John sighed and ran his hand through his hair before finally spitting it out, "What happened Olivia?" he blurted out.

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it right away, unsure of what to say. Un able to hold it in any longer she let a silent tear stroll down her face, "She shot herself," Olivia whispered.

Rain began to fall through the night, piercing the ground so hard it sounded like nails falling from the sky. John pulled her into a caring embrace as her tears fell like the rain falling that night, cold and lonely. It wasn't romantic in any way and it wasn't supposed to be, it was there to remind her that unlike that rain… she wasn't alone.

"I- I could have saved her," Olivia choked out into John's shoulder.

He held her by the shoulders and looked strait into her water stained eyes, "There was nothing you could have done," he said clearly, "She did this to herself,"

She laughed sadly and looked up into the dark sky, "But you see there was something I could have done," she got up slowly and stepped out into the pouring rain, shouting at the top of her lungs, "This was all my fault in the first place!"

"What are you talking about?" he also shouted trying to be heard though the booming thunder.

Olivia tilted her head up towards the sky, closing her eyes almost trying to get the rain to wash away all her troubles, "She did all of this cause-cause," Olivia stammered out though the tears and rain, "Cause she thought I was having an affair with Elliot!"

John stepped out into the rain with her, "Olivia…"

Olivia now ragging with guilt towards herself screamed at John, "I'm just as guilty of killing Kathy as she is," John raised an eyebrow, "There's more ways to kill someone then pulling the trigger!"

He grabbed her arms gently and brought them to her sides before whispering to her softly, "Guilt is anger directed at ourselves—at what we did or did not do," he smiled at her warmly as he took a step closer to her, "You just want someone to blame… and its not you…"

John leaned in close almost as if to kiss her, but he turned away quickly. He couldn't do that to Olivia, she loved Elliot. And even though he did care for her she viewed him as an older brother nothing more. Besides she belonged with Elliot and to that to her now would only tear her apart even more.

He spun around, seeing the confusion in her eyes he automatically went for a safety net, his humor, "So Miss Benson I believe this case is cleared up, would you care to join me while I see how Detective Stabler is doing," he said wittily.

She smiled for the first time in a while as she followed him towards the car, "I'd love to Detective Munch,"

They were both soaked from the rain but he still remembered his manners, holding the door open for her. She stopped before entering the car and looked him right in the eye, "Thank you." And he knew that she meant it in more ways then one.

For that moment things felt pretty good, maybe cause she had just set down a body she had been carrying around for a while. Or maybe cause in those brief seconds she felt just a bit of it. A bit of normalcy, reminding her that it was going to be ok.

A/N- Great, so the next chapter is going to be the last chapter! It will have Elliot's reaction to the whole situation, as well as a very cute ending (if I may say so myself!)

Stay tuned and review…. Cause I've decided that I may change the ending based on your reviews!