Title: Mastered
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated characters belong to J.K. Rowling and all other respective important people who aren't me.
A/N: HBP spoilers. And feedback is greatly welcomed.
Summary: Snape and Dumbledore argue, and the repercussions. Severus Snape is not a coward, nor has he decided which side he's really on.
"You made the Vow- you must fulfill it."
"Dumbledore, have you not heard a word I've said?" Snape said, breathing in deeply the cold night air.
"I'm old, Severus, not yet deaf," Dumbledore said, smiling serenely. Even in the darkness, the old wizard's charred finger tips were visible as he steepled his hands together in admonishment of his former pupil.
Severus Snape shook his head at the old man. It was intolerable, the man's attitude. Snape shuddered with the memory of clutching Narcissa's hand in the Unbreakable Vow as the three tendrils of flame wound into a chain of fire as he had agreed to fulfill each request.
Protect Draco? Of course- foolish boys always needed protecting. It was too late to stop the Dark Mark from being branded onto the boy's arm, but Snape could still protect him from a great deal of everything else- and from both sides.
Help Draco? Yes, he could do that as well. It was another way of protecting the boy. Minimal and foolish progress was better than none at all- and the child was so willing to do as the Dark Lord said, no doubt there would be stupid and elementary attempts to finish the task. Helping to keep Draco out of trouble would be easy.
And finish the task for the boy? Somewhere deep in his mind, a barely uttered thought hoped, and believed, that it would not come to that. It would mean death, with Bellatrix's wand inches from his face, to refuse. But then, he was serving the Dark Lord. What a stupid thought- here he was being given a chance to destroy Dumbledore.
Or a chance for Dumbledore to destroy him.
And so he had agreed.
He looked up at the sky, briefly, but not even the stars were showing. No answers there tonight. Nor any night. He knew that by now.
"I-," he stopped himself from completing the petulant sentence. He did not want to do this. Dumbledore looked at him over the rims of him half-moon spectacles. Why did he always feel like his soul was lay bare for blazing scrutiny in front of this man? It had nothing to do with Legilimency or Occlumency- Albus had the ability to make him feel unendurably emotionally bare.
"You'll have to decide what you believe in. But you'll do what you always do, Severus. Make the decision when the time comes. I trust you."
"I hate it when you say that," Snape said. "You're trying to make it sound like I have a choice- and you know I don't!"
"You knew when you swore the vow you would have to kill me, or die yourself. And I'm telling you that you are not allowed to die. You will turn your wand upon me and you will utter the Killing Curse, and I will die."
"No!"
"I would rather it were you, Severus, than young Draco, or some ignoble fight, taken down by numbers and old age. I would rather die at the hand of someone I trust, a friend-,"
"I am neither of those," Snape snapped.
"Quite to the contrary, Severus," Dumbledore was once again smiling over the rims of his glasses.
How could the man be smiling over such talk?
"Anyway, you must fulfill the Vow. Please, Severus."
"And what if that is what I want?" Snape said. "What if I want nothing better than to kill you?"
"Lies do not become you," Dumbledore said. Snape glared at the man.
"Lies are my life, you twit."
"Not those lies- at least, not here."
Severus sighed. "You take too much for granted, you old fool."
"Better a fool," Dumbledore replied.
"Don't even start with me!"
"I was under the impression we were long past starting," Dumbledore said.
"I don't want this!" Snape knew how childish and petualent it sounded even before the words left his mouth.
"And that reassures me more than anything else. Continue with your investigations in your House, Severus. We can discuss this more later, if you still feel you must."
The two stood in silence for a few moments. Snape looked low, into the forest, barely able to discern branch from branch.
"Don't hesitate," Dumbledore said. "Would you care for some tea? Its too cold to be discussing such things in such a place." The two sentences were disjointed and pointed. Intolerable, that's what Dumbledore was, Snape repeated to himself. Doddering old fool.
"No. Thank you," Snape said, stiffly. And somehow, this seemed like a perfectly appropriate place, no matter that anyone could be listening.
He did not want to be here. He Stupefied Flitwick- it was the only way. No one would understand. Then again, Severus, he asked himself, when has anyone ever understood?
And he reached the top of the tower. Damn Draco and his hesitation- he should have made his decision before these three had shown up.
"Severus, please…" the old man was pleading with him. As if he were pleading for his life- but Snape knew better. Batty- ludicrous- insane! How dare he! How dare he! Snape was angry- how dare the man let himself get disarmed- how dare he expect Severus to do this?
He pushed Draco out of the way.
Fine.
Don't think, just do.
"Avada Kedavra!" He had to say it loud, he had to mean it. He was a Death Eater, he was the Dark Lord's trusted. Of course he meant it.
And Dumbledore, the powerful Dumbledore, the noble, wise, foolish and stupid Dumbledore, flew back like a rag doll, over the edge of the tower and was gone.
And now Snape was left with only one role. Death Eater, traitor, protector.
"Out of here, quickly," he said. He grabbed Draco and with greater clarity of mind than he had had in a long while, fled Hogwarts.
Coward, Potter had called him. He was not a coward, and he was not foolish. Could Potter even contemplate doing what he had done? Undoubtedly the boy knew what loyalty Dumbledore inspired.
But he, Severus Snape, was not a coward.
Stupid boy, stupid man.
Why had he stopped Potter from being tortured to death by the curse? It would have solved a great deal of many problems.
But he, Severus Snape, was not stupid.
Voldemort's reign would not last. It would last, said the traitorous voice inside of him, if you had let Potter die.
No, Voldemort would not last. His flair for the dramatic- he wanted to kill Potter with his own hands. Foolish, he thought deep inside himself, barely daring to think it.
He could decide later which side he wanted to be on. For the moment, he was within the graces of the Dark Lord. He was a Death Eater, and he had killed Dumbledore.
He had killed Dumbledore because of the Vow.
He had killed Dumbledore because he wanted to.
He had killed Dumbledore because his master had required it.
He was not a coward.