Authors Note: The majority of this chapter was written in a very boring maths lesson. I believe I was supposed to be studying Pythagoras' Theorem. Which explains a lot really.

Jemma and Natalie grew very impatient. They accepted that Laura was in an interrogation, but hanging around with a depraved old gaoler wasn't exactly their idea of sheer delight and fun beyond all imagining. Besides…he kept beating them at noughts and crosses. As reigning champion of the Noughts and Crosses League, Jemma found this to be most irritating.

"Y'see!' Regg chuckled, 'there's life in this ol' sea dog yet!"

"But you cheated!" Jemma snapped indignantly.

'Pirate!' Regg smirked, before gasping in alarm at his own stupidity.

"You were a pirate?"

"Course I was…didn't the blatantly obvious clichés give it away? The slightly visible wooden leg? Tiny cross stitched Jolly Roger on me hat! And how could you miss the parrot!"

Natalie and Jemma glanced at each other knowingly…they could see Regg longed for his old life back. He could be the fourth member of their new pirate crew!

Meanwhile, Laura was still busy being very thoroughly interrogated. Norrington believed her to be carrying dangerous weapons, so he deemed a full strip search necessary.

"Ooooooh…is that the mast or are you just pleased to see…"

"COMMODORE!" Gillette wailed as he burst in, waving his arms like a complete twit, "PIRATES!"

Norrington promptly pushed Laura off his lap in utter disbelief.

"Pirates!" he cried, "Not again! They keep interrupting me…this is why I'm still a virgin!"

Laura was utterly confused; "Pirates? Again? Virgin?"

"No time to explain," Gillette stated stiffly, his lips pursed, "and don't you think it's about time you put a little more clothing on?"

"I am wearing clothes! Don't throw a hissy fit just because you're jealous! I've seen the way you look at him and I know you want him!"

Norrington was clearly disturbed (and wouldn't you be!) but took control of the situation.

"There is no time for silly arguments! We must look heroic and dashing as we defend our ship…and you Laura, you must pout!"

They ran out onto the deck and saw it swarming with pirates. For supposedly trained swordsmen, the British Navy were proving to be a right load of pansies. The snarling pirates were raping…ahem, killing…them left, right and centre.

"Hmm…tricky," Laura mused.

Natalie and Jemma ran up to her, shrieking.

"That's the Black Pearl!" Natalie hissed, pointing to the pirate vessel.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Well we need to get on board!" Natalie snapped

At that moment a cannonball rolled onto the deck, careering towards them and sending them flying into the mast of the Interceptor…when they regained consciousness they were tied to the mast of the Pearl.

"Ah, my good friend Norrington, we meet again,' a man smirked, staggering slightly.

"Jack Sparrow," Norrington nodded in acknowledgement.

"CAPTAIN!" Natalie shrieked in delight, "Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"That's my line, luv!" Jack grinned, "But I thank ye for the support, savvy?"

Jemma nearly died of a fangirly spaz upon hearing the word 'savvy'. Natalie looked thoroughly pleased with herself. She already had an image of joining the infamous Black Pearl's crew, sailing the high seas and having lots of pirate lovin'! But she was brought quickly down to earth by a hard tap on her head.

"Oww! Jemma what was that for?"

"We're not being asked to join the crew, you twit! In case you hadn't noticed we're captives!"

Before Natalie could retort with a, ahem, witty reply, she was interrupted by the over enthusiastic clearing of someone's throat.

"Now you lazy whores," spat a green-toothed, cross-eyed pirate, "You have three choices: the plank, our crew or giving me oral…"

Sparrow glared.

"Oral….B toothbrushes."

Jemma looked thoroughly confused. "I don't understand!"

Sparrow circled the captives, eyeing them up and down in turn. He smirked and a twinkle appeared in hi9s devilish eyes as he glanced upon Laura.

"You're about to lose your boobs, luv!"

Laura hissed at him and hoisted her top up with as much dignity as she could muster (difficult, considering that, with her arms bound, she had to use her teeth).

The dull swaggering clunk of Sparrow's booted step continued to walk around his prisoners.

"You two…" he leered, directing his grin at Natalie and Jemma, "…my personal slaves!"

And with that he released them. Jemma flung herself at his feet, refusing to let go.

"Get off!"

"No, no! Jemma loves Captain Sparrow! Jemma is so grateful! Jemma wants to serve Captain Sparrow forever!"

"I bet you do, luv. Now scurry off to me cabin, savvy?"

Jemma remained motionless at his feet for a second, before getting up and rushing off with a baboonish grin and a stupid ran.

Natalie felt her face flood with jealous fury.

"No. I won't be your slave. I want to be a proper pirate. A good pirate. Not some…some…WENCH! That is not my destiny! My destiny is…" she turned her face toward the sky, "…to marry a rich old guy and inherit his millions!"

And for good measure she stomped her foot in the manner of a toddler.

Jemma, meanwhile?

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"No don't worry, new slave! You can sleep under his bed…I live in the cupboard!"

"Who are you?"

"Captain's slave, captain's slave…one of many, one of many…I am Lucy, I am…"

"Let me guess…Lucy!"

Lucy grinned in the most disturbing manner, before getting back into the cupboard.

"Remember new slavey girl…I live in the cupboard!"