Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've had twelve reviews! Yay! You guys are so nice! I'd like to thank all of you for reading the story and thinking that it was worthy of your comments. Yay! I've gone hyper!
Okay, I've changed the summary, and it's kind of good that you think that the summary ought to change because there has been a slight plot change and Artemis is no longer dumb during it. You'll find out what I mean. Anyway, seen as I am terrible at summaries, if any of you nice readers have any better summary ideas don't hesitate to send them to me: the address is available on my bio.
Okay, now to answer your questions and things:
Raeven, I honestly do like your name, and you're right when you say that there is a lot more to Berry than there seems. I'm not quite sure how much more, but she's definitely not as innocent as she appears.
You find out who's after Artemis in this chapter, aperfectattitude, and I've started reading your 'Missing Fairies' story and I think that it's really good (I'm basically going to be saying this in the review, but whatever…).
Aln9876, I kind of have trouble just keeping to the characters the author has given (oopsie) but when I do add new characters I try and make it seem that they were actually there the whole time, just hiding in the background. I'm glad that you and Dormouse think I've been successful with this story. Also, I didn't know that I was worthy of CAPITAL letters. Thanks!
I like that olive thing, Dormouse; do I have permission for Berry to use it? Mooo! There's a bit of Berry in us all…
Whoah, that was long. I wrote that much for five reviews? Imagine what I'd be like if there were more…
Now on with the story, which is what you were actually waiting for!
Chapter 4: How Not To Kidnap
Koboi Labs
'You what!' Topaz Koboi shrieked. The pixie in front of her cowered, his pointed ears quivering in fear.
'I'm sorry, Miss Koboi,' the pixie whimpered, 'but they were all there together –'
'Precisely!' Topaz shouted. 'Are you so dense that you did not understand the plan? None of them are supposed to know the others are here! They're all supposed to think that they're alone and helpless! Not that their friends are just next door!'
Topaz drew herself up to her full height with an expression of absolute fury on her face. She would have looked quite threatening if it hadn't been for the ginger kitten perched serenely on top of her head.
'Alone, they're just civilians with unusual qualities,' the younger Koboi sister continued, 'but together they're formidable. Together, the boy provides the brain, his henchman the muscle, and Captain Short,' she spat the name, 'is the driving force that keeps them all going!'
Donoka (for that was the cowering pixie's name) bowed so low his nose almost touched the floor. 'I'm sorry, Miss Koboi, but I thought it would be easier to get them all in one fell swoop, as it were…'
'You're not paid to think,' Topaz said scathingly. 'If you were, you would have a much smaller salary.'
'Of course, mistress.'
Topaz kicked a ball of wool across the floor; a tabby kitten raced joyfully after it.
'Perhaps there is something we can salvage from this disastrous situation,' she said eventually. 'It's lucky that I'm not quite as dim as Opal used to say I was. Although,' she shot Donoka a look that almost nailed him to the wall behind him, 'if you had followed instructions and waited for the police to leave, we wouldn't be in this situation.'
'I thought that having Berry there would make Captain Short easier to break,' Donoka gabbled. 'Nothing's more important than family…' He remembered who he was talking to when Topaz froze. 'To elves, at least,' Donoka completed, nervously aware of the guards behind him that would happily obliterate him if Topaz gave the order.
Topaz sighed and looked at the ceiling, making the kitten on her head meow in panic as it nearly slipped off. 'Let's just hope that Berry doesn't get it into her impressionable little head to act the shady hero.'
Donoka frowned. There were many words to describe Berry Short, but shady was not one of them. 'I always thought she was rather innocent.'
'You can be innocent or a copper, but not both. Never both.'
'Of course, mistress.'
Topaz continued staring at the ceiling for some seconds. Finally she said, 'I think I shall visit the Mud Boy. Yes, I shall do that, and perhaps even complete stage one of my plan. Then I shall visit my other prisoners. I trust they are in separate parts of the building with no hope of finding each other anytime soon?'
Donoka's answer was a very quiet one.
When he had finished, Topaz shouted, 'You did what!' in such a loud voice it was heard throughout the entire building.
The chief problem with going to sleep, Berry decided, was waking up.
It didn't help when you had had a good dream. A bad dream you couldn't wait to leave, but a good dream… a person could be perfectly happy in a good dream.
The dream she had had was probably one of the best. Root had sent her and Holly on an above-ground mission to spy on Artemis Fowl, and Berry had 'made contact' by talking to the Mud Boy. It was probably a good thing that it had been a dream, because Root would have had her badge over that.
Still… it had been such a hard dream to wake up from…
Berry lay in the warmth of her bed with her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes, she knew, ordinary life lay ahead of her. Holly would probably be shouting at her to turn the alarm off while she herself struggled with the smoothie machine, eventually just giving up and asking Berry to make breakfast.
Strange that Berry's alarm clock wasn't beeping now… Holly couldn't have turned it off because it was programmed to only accept Berry's fingerprints (this may sound a tad paranoid, but it ensured that Berry didn't sleep late, seen as the alarm clock was also programmed to beep every three minutes until it detected movement). Then again, Berry wasn't about to lodge a complaint. She liked sleep, and was especially fond of those few moments after waking when dreams could be remembered in such clarity.
Come on, Bez, she thought. Wakey-wakey. You've got a city to patrol.
Slowly, Corporal Short opened her eyes.
She did so just in time to see a door shut.
She blinked, then sat up straight.
She was not in her room in the apartment she shared with Holly. There was no alarm clock from Foaly, no posters, no calendar displaying fairy months. There were just white walls, a white floor, and a bed, which she was lying on.
Berry leant back on her hands. 'This,' she said to the empty room, 'is weird. How did I get here?'
She puzzled over this for a few moments before she noticed something. There were several black hairs on the white floor.
Berry got out of the bed and picked one of them up.
'Oh,' she said. 'So it wasn't a dream.'
She sighed and looked around.
Well, Short, Corporal Short thought, you've finally got a huge adventure of mountainous proportions. Happy?
Yup. Ecstatic.
Now how do I get out of here…?
Berry turned to look at the door. It was a solid thing, made from metal, and blended in completely with the rest of the room. There didn't appear to be any way to open it from this side, and anyway Berry suspected it required a magnetic strip on a card, so hair pins wouldn't get her out of this room.
If the door was actually closed, that is.
For the door had been closed in a hurry, and when people hurry they tend to forget things. Therefore the door had not closed properly, failing to connect entirely with the magnet that held it closed.
Berry reached out carefully and opened the door. The corridor outside was deserted.
So, what had she got? Well, the people who had captured her had taken her helmet, but left practically everything else. They couldn't have been very bright kidnappers because they had taken her piton cords and buzz baton but left her gun.
She placed her hand on the Bug Blatter.
Time to see who had the nerve to kidnap a Short…
When Holly Short woke up and found herself in unfamiliar surroundings she did not waste time thinking about dreams.
What she did do was catch sight of two pixies trying to drag an unconscious Butler through a fairy-sized door. A pointless errand, considering he had trouble fitting through one when he was in control of his body. It was barely the work of a minute to knock out the offending fairies.
Butler came round as Holly searched her victims.
'Where's Artemis?' were the bodyguard's first words. Holly had to commend him on the way he was always on the job.
The elf shrugged. 'I don't know. I haven't been awake long enough to explore.'
'Any idea who could have captured us?'
Holly shook her head. 'Afraid not. We'll probably know more when we leave this room.'
Butler glanced at her Moonbelt. 'They left you your gun?' he asked incredulously.
Holly smiled and fondly stroked the Neutrino. 'I know. Somehow I don't think this kidnapper is as smart as Artemis.'
The bodyguard pointed at the open door. 'What was your first clue?'
The two of them left the room and looked around at their surroundings. 'I don't believe it,' Holly said.
Butler was equally amazed. 'Wouldn't your Council have blocked this building off?'
'They did,' the fairy replied, 'but the thing is, guarding derelict buildings isn't top priority. Anyone could have broken in and decided to use this place for headquarters.'
'Quite a good choice, when you come to think of it. No one would think of looking here because it's so obvious, considering what the past occupants did.'
Holly sighed. 'Koboi labs. Who'd have thought we'd be here again so soon?'
People often make mistakes when sneaking. The most common one is the belief that sneaking means inching along the corridor with your back to the wall and trying not to make any noise at all. That was just plain suspicious. If anyone saw you doing that, it was unlikely that they would believe you were merely on a mid-afternoon stroll. The trick was to make yourself as big as possible and act as though you had every right to be there. Everyone was just so used to the idea that an escapee would be skulking in the shadows that they barely glanced at the elf striding purposefully with her head held high and an expression of absolute authority on her face.
There were two pixie guards outside a door three corridors down from Berry's cell. As she passed they gave a reasonable impression of Guards Paying Attention To Their Job, not Guards Who Think That This Is A Waste Of Time.
'Morning, miss,' one of the pixies said.
Wow, I'm a good actress, Berry thought.
'What's going on here?' the elf barked in a reasonable impression of Commander Mercury.
'Wiping, miss,' the other pixie answered. 'They've got the boy in there.'
Berry nodded as though this was the most natural thing in the world and that she did in fact know what the pixie guard was talking about.
'Any idea how long the wiping process is going to take?' she asked.
'Dunno, miss,' the pixie replied. 'Could take a few hours, considering how clever this kid is supposed to be.'
'Then I shall have to enter immediately.'
The pixie guards stood up straighter and one of them scrutinised Berry closely. 'Why do you need to go in there?'
Berry crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. 'Because, imbecile,' she said, 'there is a problem with the equipment and if it isn't fixed immediately there is a chance that the boy's brain will fry before the wiping process has finished.'
The pixies exchanged a glance. Miss Koboi was angry enough as it is; losing the Mud Boy's brain would make Topaz even more furious.
Berry could see that she was winning. The bit about the equipment had been a wild guess; she had only had a very vague idea about what the wiping process was, but sometimes even a shot in the dark finds a target.
'Okay,' the guard on the right said. He took an access card from her belt and swiped it across a section of the door. There was a beep and the door swung open slightly.
'Don't take too long,' the pixie said as he opened the door further for Berry.
'I'll be barely a moment,' Berry said and stepped inside the room. She didn't stop acting until she heard the door close behind her.
She wiped her hand across her forehead. 'That was close,' she whispered. 'I'm glad that bad guys never actually hire smart people as guards.'
She looked up and saw that she was in a high room full of complicated looking equipment. It was cool in the room and quite dark: the light came from a single source at the other end of the room.
For some reason, Berry was very nervous as she walked to the end of the room.
'I'm here to check the equipment,' she said, although her tone wasn't half as commanding as it had been outside the room. This place gave her the creeps, and she was a bit concerned about what would happen if there was someone in the room who actually expected her to check the equipment. Knowing her luck, she'd probably make it blow up.
There was a meow from the other end of the room. Berry walked towards it and found a calico cat curled up under a computer bank.
'Hello, kitty,' she said. 'What in the world are you doing here?'
She reached to her belt for the microchip reader that all patrol officers had been given to help them find stray pets' owners. Feral cats were becoming quite a nuisance in Haven.
It wasn't there. It's not as if it's the most obvious weapon, Berry thought. What harm can a microchip reader be?
Then again, Corporal Short had broken up enough bar fights to know that anything could be a weapon if you were desperate enough.
Still, why leave the gun and take the microchip reader?
Berry left the cat and turned around.
There was a chair behind her with several wires running from the person in it to a large computer on Berry's right. Gnommish words flashed across the screen, too quickly for Berry to read any of them.
The person in the chair was considerably taller than the average fairy…
'Artemis,' Berry said as she stood in front of the chair. 'Thank goodness I found you.'
The Mud Boy didn't reply. He appeared to be unconscious and there were several electrodes attached to his forehead.
Berry glanced from them to the computer. Her blood ran cold.
She had never seen a mind wipe before, but she had heard Holly's descriptions enough times to have some sort of idea as to what it would look like. However she had never thought the sight of it would have such a terrible effect on her.
She ran over to the computer keyboard. 'Oh no you don't!' she shouted.
She typed 'stop' as quickly as she could. Berry wasn't quite sure what that would achieve but it must have worked because the computer screen stilled and a laser disk slid serenely into view.
I should probably tell you, reader, that Berry Short was not a computer whiz. She could send e-mails and a few of the other basic things but she could not, for example, assemble a computer programme to wipe fairy-related memories from a human's mind. Therefore when she glanced at the laser disk it was pure luck that she had an idea as to what to do next.
Berry slid the laser disk back into the computer and typed 'reverse'.
A one to a hundred bar appeared which took an awfully long time to move.
'Come on, computer,' Berry whispered, glancing occasionally at the comatose human. 'I'd appreciate it if you could hurry this up…'
After what felt like an age the computer beeped and the disk slid out again. Berry punched the air in triumph.
That was when she received another piece of luck.
She noticed the other laser disks scattered over the computer bank.
She looked from them to Artemis to the computer and back again.
'What a lot of memories you have for a teenager,' she said.
Berry had managed to get through about two thirds of the pile of laser disks when the door opened. She remembered the pixie guards and her promise that she wouldn't take long at all.
Quietly, she slipped the remaining laser disks into her belt.
'Are you finished?' she heard one of the pixies ask.
'Almost,' Berry answered, somehow keeping her voice steady despite the fear inside. 'It took longer than I expected to fix the problem.'
Her hand was drifting across the keyboard again.
'Is the Mud Boy okay?'
No, Berry thought. He's been kidnapped by fairies in a place that I don't recognise and is currently unconscious and, to cap it all, I haven't finished giving him his memories back. I just hope I've managed to give him the fairy-related ones…
Out loud, she just said, 'He's fine.'
There were footsteps behind her. 'That's strange,' a voice said quietly, 'because, as far as I know, he's just lost his mind…'
Berry smiled. 'I found it again.'
She turned quickly, catching the pixie behind her with her elbow. He hadn't been expecting the attack, and neither had the guard by the door, which gave her an advantage. She shot the sentry at the door with the Bug Blatter before he could move and then shot the pixie whose nose she had broken.
'There goes the element of surprise,' Berry sighed. 'Oh, well…'
'Could someone please tell me what is going on?' Artemis asked behind her. She'd typed 'awake' on the keyboard and had just hoped that the computer would understand what she meant.
Berry turned, smiling in a humourless way. 'Of course, Art,' she said. 'Although, truth be told, I'm not actually that sure of what's happened…'