The first song that Berry sings in this chapter comes from Barney (I know, cringe!). A friend of mine at school watches Barney and sings the songs a lot, so at random points during Religious Education you hear this sweet little girly voice behind you singing about raindrops and birds and eventually Jen and I learn the words so there are three of us singing. The second song is one that I made up. I understand if you think the above is useless information but I thought you might like to know where I get Berry's songs from.

Okay, reviews and stuff (it still thoroughly amazes me how quick you guys are…)

midnightPixie13: Glad you like it.

aperfectattitude: bows Thankee kindly.

RaevanDawn: Puss in Boots eyes I'm not that scary, honest… oh, and Berry would like to say that she likes you too. :-D

Aln9876: (what does that stand for, by the way?) 'There's this boy and a girl, and they meet, and there's this chemistry between them…'

'They blow up?'

(from Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett). Sorry, it's just that whenever I hear the phrase 'character chemistry' that conversation springs to mind. I'm glad you find the characters realistic; realism has always been a bit of a problem for me. And I can assure you that no one blows up.

chitoryu12: Thank you very much.

athleticsrulz: I don't mind the throwing and stuff but I hate long distance running. I'm kind of like Artemis in that respect. Anyway, as to the story: Foaly is in this chapter (yay! I hear you cry), and is one of the main character type people in the next story. As for the annoying thing… I don't doubt that winks

the perfect dingo: Hey Enz! Glad you decided to come on and very glad you like the story. I will try and include more gadgets but as you know I am not very good at inventing. As for Topaz and stupid guys, I was just following one of the Laws of Narrative: bad guys, no matter how clever, always hire stupid people. As for the daleks… like I said, I'm not quite sure why I included them but I'm glad I did, because they've given me and idea for later. (Although I'm still quite curious has to how killer robots can give a story a 'lighter' feel…)

Chapter 6: Olives

Underneath Koboi Labs

Mulch Diggums grinned as he dug through the soil. He loved digging, all dwarfs did. Digging was the one thing he knew he was truly, amazingly good at. Of course, there was also burglary, but that could just be that he was good at not getting caught rather than good at stealing.

Money, money, money, must be funny, in a rich man's world, he sang cheerfully in his head as he scythed through the soil.

Well, he'd soon know. Koboi Labs was still full of equipment that would fetch a very good price if you sold it to the right people. The best bit was, it was all just sitting there, waiting for someone with the nerve to take it from under the LEP's nose.

Mulch almost giggled. The LEP. From how they talked you'd think they always managed to catch every criminal. If you believed the view put forward by the LEP, everyone would leave their doors unlocked and wander around in the knowledge that nothing bad would ever happen to them.

Which was, in truth, the worst damage the LEP could do…

Don't depress yourself, Mulch. Just keep thinking of how much money the equipment above your head will bring you.

Oh, it would be so easy. Possibly his best burglary yet, and the greatest thing was that the LEP wouldn't notice a thing. Koboi Labs would only have been checked once before: straight after Opal's arrest, and it was highly unlikely that the officers counted the equipment then. It would be checked again in two years time to make sure there were no life forms inside before it was demolished and re-built as a hospital (originally it had been scheduled for demolition in three months' time, but a television network had recently managed to gain the rights to make a film about the Goblin Rebellion. Rumour had it Holly was either going to be played by the famous actress Skylar Peat or newcomer Carla Avalon). Until then, Koboi Labs was unguarded and full of bits and bobs that would bring any dwarf enough money to escape the LEP once and for all.

Mulch's grin widened. At last, to be rid of the LEP. Root had promised him only three days' head star, admittedly, but it had been almost a month so far and Mulch was still a free dwarf. The money from Koboi Labs would be enough to buy the dwarf another luxury penthouse. Well, maybe not that luxurious. The Los Angeles police were still on the lookout for him so it would probably be best not to draw attention to himself. However the money would certainly be enough to buy him a nice little bungalow, perhaps in Las Vegas or Chicago.

He carried on digging.

The Short siblings, Artemis, and Butler were prodded and pushed along the corridor towards what was presumably Topaz's headquarters. There were four daleks on either side and two pixie guards behind. Topaz Koboi strode in front, head held high, a silver tabby cat curled lazily around the fairy's shoulders. It occasionally glanced behind and glared at Holly with malevolent amber eyes, as if scolding the elf for being taller than the feline's mistress.

Artemis thought that Berry was handling this amazingly well, all things considered. He would have expected her to panic, but instead she was looking around with the same air of innocence he had first seen. Then again, he thought, you can hardly be a police officer and panic at the first sign of danger.

'Are you going to tell us where we're going?' Berry asked cheerfully, as if she wasn't a prisoner at all and was just going somewhere with a friend.

'No,' Topaz answered curtly.

'Shame.' Berry looked around again and started singing (again). 'If all the raindrops were candy drops and gumdrops –'

'Shut up,' Topaz growled.

'Oh, what a rain it would be! Standing outside with my mouth open wide –'

'I said shut up!'

'Ah-ah-ah-aaargh!'

Berry rubbed her arm and glared at the pixie that had swiped her with a buzz baton. To add insult to injury, it was her own. 'What was that for?' she asked indignantly. 'I was only trying to lighten the mood.'

'Miss Koboi told you to shut up,' the pixie answered without looking at Berry. 'You did not comply, therefore I used force.'

'You only had to ask,' Berry grumbled. 'It's not as if I'm unreasonable or anything…'

'Please be quiet, Bez,' Holly said. Captain Short didn't turn around to speak to her sister, but remained staring fixedly ahead as though there was nothing more interesting to look at than Topaz's tabby cat.

'If you say so, Holls,' and there was only a slight hint of annoyance in Berry's voice. It seemed that the only person Berry actually listened to was her sister.

'Thank you,' Topaz said sweetly to the guard. 'I am glad that I was not forced to have one of my copper guards take care of her.'

'These things are copper?' It seemed that even with orders from Holly, Berry could not keep her mouth shut for longer than she thought necessary. The latter kicked one of the daleks. 'Doesn't sound like copper.'

Topaz's fists clenched and everyone there knew that she was running out of patience. Everyone, it seemed, except Berry.

'Okay, admittedly they look a bit coppery, but I'm not sure if copper would hold up to laser bursts. A copper would, but I'm not sure about copper as in the metal. Or maybe they're just painted copper? Are you just painted copper, dalek number one?'

'Exterminate!' the dalek answered.

Berry glared at the robot. 'Is that all you ever say?'

'Exterminate!'

'I'll take that as a yes.'

Topaz turned around, eyes wide and, frankly, insane. 'Will someone,' she hissed, 'please shut her up?'

'No can do,' Berry said cheerfully. She then grinned and gave Topaz a mock salute. 'I will not be silenced!' Corporal Short said in the manner of a freedom fighter. 'You can take our freedom, but you cannot take our lives!'

It's suicide, Artemis thought numbly. She's committing suicide and dragging the rest of us in. I am going to die here and now with holes in my memory and an intelligence that I am unused to all because some fairy couldn't keep her mouth shut…

Topaz glared at Berry so fiercely Berry almost flinched. 'Shut up,' the pixie hissed.

Berry gave Topaz a clearly unimpressed look. 'Make me.'

Before it could progress any further a door up ahead opened and a dwarf stepped out. For one horrified moment Holly seriously thought Mulch Diggums had joined forces with Topaz Koboi, but then she realised guiltily that she was wrong. Mulch Diggums might rock the boat but he would not drill holes in the hull. This dwarf was clearly some other escaped convict or perhaps merely decided that mining was not for him.

Topaz turned to look at the dwarf and her features softened somewhat. 'What is it, Gravel?'

We have a first name, Holly thought, although that won't be enough for an arrest if I get out of this alive. It won't be much use doing an identity parade, all dwarves look the same to me…

'Movement,' Gravel grunted. 'Beneath the labs. A dwarf.'

Topaz started and Holly's eyes widened.

'Are you sure?' the pixie asked hoarsely.

Gravel nodded and was about to reply when Berry said sagely, 'If it walks like an olive and quacks like and olive then it most likely is an olive.'

Topaz ignored the younger Short sibling and examined her fingernails for a few moments, then said, 'Can you pinpoint the location?'

Gravel nodded again.

'Good. You, Donoka,' she snapped her fingers at a pixie that stepped forward. 'Take the prisoners to the holding cell. Take the robots with you. I will investigate the dwarf.'

It was probably only Holly who heard Topaz say quietly, 'I will not be defeated. Especially not in the manner Opal was.'

Police Plaza

Foaly was more than a little bit worried.

It wasn't just that Holly, who was a great friend of his, had failed to check in even though it had been nearly eight hours since she had left E1, Tara. It wasn't just that Foaly had somehow managed to forget about the Fowl surveillance mission and hadn't noticed Holly's absence until the elf had failed to poke her head around the door and say goodbye when her shift finished.

It probably had quite a lot to do with the fact that when a sheepish Foaly told all this to Commander Root the elf failed to explode or shout, but instead sat at his desk with his head in his hands.

'So let me get this straight, Foaly,' the Commander said wearily. 'We sent Captain and Corporal Short on an extremely important mission involving a Mud Man that could possibly have been a threat to the People, correct me if I'm wrong.'

'We did do that, yes, sir.'

'And Holly contacted you when she made it to the surface, yes?'

'Right again, sir.'

'But not when she arrived at Fowl Manor?'

'She did say that she had arrived and we do have some footage of a conversation with Artemis.'

'So why weren't you suspicious when Holly did not check in later to either say that she was a, coming home or b, finished interrogating the Mud Boy?'

Foaly was truly embarrassed now. Why did Commander Root have to hear the sequence of events again? Hadn't Foaly already said them once?

'I went to get myself some carrots and forgot about Holly,' Foaly muttered, his voice barely audible.

'D'Arvit, Foaly!' Root shouted, and Foaly felt on safer ground now. Julius Root was shouting: the world made sense again. 'We have two officers missing in action and you forgot because of your lunch!'

Now Foaly thought about it, it did sound more than a little careless. After all, Holly was one of the centaur's closest friends, so why hadn't he noticed when she didn't make contact with Police Plaza for over six hours?

Because of your lunch. Because you were hungry and you thought that Holly could take care of herself, at least long enough for you to buy a snack. Then you came back and there was that drugs raid in West Haven and you totally forgot about the problems above ground.

Root stared at the wall behind Foaly for a few moments as he drummed his fingers on his desk. Finally the LEP Commander said, 'Have you reviewed the footage of the conversation with Artemis?'

Foaly nodded. 'Several times, sir, from Holly's and Berry's points of view. There's a moment of confusion at the end and then it blanks out. Next time we see anything it's just six hours of wall.'

'Wall,' Commander Root repeated. 'Well there's useful.'

'It could be,' Foaly said, and was glad that another piece of the universe was fitting into place: he was giving Commander Root a lecture about how wonderful LEP technology was thanks to him, Foaly. 'Thanks to these new helmets we can study everything in absolute detail. Some plasterers put their stamps on the wall; minute, of course, but with the new zoom lenses we should be able to see. This should narrow down our search areas. Also, thanks to the new ultra-sensitive microphones, we should be able to hear everything in the building.'

'Good,' Root said shortly. 'I want you to get on that, Foaly. No objections, just play the tapes and listen – or look – for any clues that will tell us where the Short siblings are. Are you sure they're even still alive?'

Foaly nodded. 'Certain, sir. Their life readings are still completely healthy, although Holly seems to be a little stressed. You can't deactivate the helmets just by taking them off.'

This time Root nodded. 'Good,' he repeated. 'I don't want to lose any officers, not on my watch. Find out where they are ASAP.'

'Yes, sir,' Foaly said and walked out of the office. For once he was going to follow the Commander's instructions completely and absolutely: Foaly did not want to lose anyone either. Least of all Holly.

Koboi Labs, Lower Elements

Donoka led the prisoners to another part of the labs. Artemis vaguely recognised the corridors, although that could just have been because all Koboi Labs corridors looked the same.

Berry was still singing. It appeared that Donoka did not mind her voice as much as Topaz, or that could have been something to do with the fact Berry was now singing about seas and lighthouses than candy drops and gumdrops.

'And I will wait for you,' Corporal Short hummed. 'The waves will rise and the wind will call…'

'Excuse me,' Donoka stuttered, 'would you please step through here?'

The four prisoners exchanged glances. 'Please?' Captors were not supposed to plead, or ask politely, or stutter, for that matter. Almost made you wonder who was actually in charge.

Holly smiled sweetly at the pixie, which could actually be quite scary. 'Certainly,' the elf said, and led her three friends into a high room. It was quite empty, apart from a few chairs and a table that ran along one wall.

'Nice,' Berry said. 'We get to die in cleanliness.'

Donoka, stuttering as he did so, then started explaining what would happen to the four of them, apologising with every other word.

Holly grabbed Berry's arm and pulled her away from the others. 'What is it, Holls?' the younger sister asked in a whisper.

'Listen closely,' Holly said in an equally quiet voice, 'and don't even think of disobeying. This is not a game, Berry.'

Berry nodded at the daleks. 'What was your first clue?' she said dryly.

'I have a feeling that the dwarf that Gravel mentioned is Mulch Diggums. He'll be climbing up through the foundation rods again. Take Artemis and find the dwarf, Artemis will remember the way to the rods. Get Mulch to dig another tunnel and crawl down to the Atlantean ambassador's shuttle, it should still be there. Send a message to Police Plaza and wait for backup.'

'All right, Holls, but what about you and Butler?'

Holly swallowed and looked at the ground. 'We'll be causing a distraction.'

Berry's reaction was instantaneous. 'No, Holly, no,' she said, trying very hard to keep her voice quiet. 'I will not leave you, you could be killed!'

Holly shook her head. 'That doesn't matter.'

'Doesn't matter?' Berry shrieked. 'Holly, you're my sister, of course you matter!'

'No, I don't.' Holly put her hands on sister's shoulders and looked Berry in the eye. Berry's eyes were a slightly different shade to her own and a different shape, but now they shone with a determination not unlike Holly's. 'Weren't you the one who said that you cannot save the world if you concentrate on one person?'

Berry nodded slightly. 'That was completely different, though!' she said. 'We were talking about human movies!'

'Is it so different, Bez? The principle is the same.'

Holly looked up and caught sight of Butler. She nodded ever so slightly and the bodyguard returned the nod, bending his legs slightly.

'Grab Artemis and run,' Holly said.

Berry nodded. Finally accepting what she had to do. 'Yes, Holly,' she whispered.

Holly took her sister's hand. 'Take care of yourself, okay?'

Another nodded. 'Okay.'

Holly opened her mouth to say something else but decided against it. Too much sentimentality might make Berry change her mind.

Captain Short drew her Neutrino 2000. A model that was slightly out of date but if it worked, why change it?

'Let's go, then.'

Donoka was still talking in his breathy, nervous way when Butler snuck up behind him and knocked the pixie out.

The effect was immediate. The daleks began barking 'Exterminate!' and while they did so Holly managed to sink a few rounds into the robots, resulting in sparks and erratic shooting from the automaton.

Berry grabbed Artemis's wrist and for the second time in barely an hour Artemis found himself being dragged along the corridor by the young elf.

'Where are we going?' the confused teenager asked.

'Foundation rods,' Berry panted. 'Mulch will send a message to the LEP.'

Artemis frowned. 'He will?'

Berry's eyes narrowed. 'He better.'

When Berry felt they had sufficiently distanced themselves from the fighting she slowed down and leant against a wall with her eyes closed.

Artemis jerked his thumb down the corridor. 'What was all that about?' he asked.

'Holly and Butler were a distraction.'

Berry's answer was quiet and her eyes were still closed, as if she was hoping that when she opened them she would be back in her apartment in Haven City with her alarm clock beeping impatiently at her.

'Why?' Artemis continued. He knew he should probably give it a rest, seen as Berry didn't look as though she could cope with this, but Butler was the boy's closest friends and Artemis wasn't all that keen on losing him.

'They felt the need to get the two of us out of there.'

'I repeat: why?'

'So we could get to the foundation rods, get Mulch Diggums to dig down to the Atlantean ambassador's shuttle and send a message to Police Plaza while the two of us sat nice and safe eating prawns.'

Berry's tone was extremely bitter when she said the last part.

'That's it?' Artemis's voice was almost a shriek. 'Butler and Holly – your sister, by the way – are trapped in a room with killer robots just so we could find some abandoned shuttle and call for help from a bunch of… of sprites?'

Berry finally opened her eyes and Artemis instantly regretted everything he'd said. The elf's eyes were hollow and empty but underneath there was a flicker of anger.

'I'm not exactly thrilled about it either,' Corporal Short hissed, 'but we're in the water now and it's sink or swim. I don't know why Holly and Butler didn't feel they could come with us but that's their decision and it's a bit too late to change their minds now. Either you come with me, kid, or try and fight off daleks on your own. Your choice.'

Artemis blinked. 'I think,' he said slowly, 'that you're scarier than a dalek.'

Berry smiled, although it wasn't as innocent as before. This smile was tinged with steel. 'Good,' she said. 'So you'd rather have them as an enemy than me?'

Artemis nodded. 'Definitely.'

'Good,' Berry repeated, and began walking down the corridor.

'Ermm… Berry?'

Corporal Short turned around. Artemis still stood by the wall.

'The foundation rods are that way,' the Irish youth said and pointed in the opposite direction as to the way the elf had been striding.

Berry rolled her eyes. 'I know that,' she said. 'I'm not stupid.'

'Then why aren't we heading towards the? Hat was Holly's order, after all.'

Berry studied her nails; she really should stop biting them. 'The thing is,' she said slowly, traces of her old self shining through, 'when orders come from a sibling, I rend to think of it more as friendly advice than actual orders.'

Artemis's mouth dropped open and Berry winked. 'I'm an elf,' she said simply.

Artemis groaned and sank to the floor. 'Elves,' he moaned. 'Don't talk to me about elves.'

Berry walked back over to him and nudged him with her foot. 'Cheer up, Marvin. The battle's not over yet.'

Artemis looked up. 'I'm not sure if I look much like Douglas Adams' Paranoid Android,' he said with a slight hint of a smiled.

'You're depressed enough.'

Artemis spread his arms wide. 'Can you blame me?' he said bitterly. 'I'm in a building several hundred miles below ground on the run from a mad pixie, my parents have no idea where I am, and to cap it all there are props from Doctor Who trying to kill me.'

Berry looked thoughtful. 'I don't think they are daleks, actually, and I'm pretty sure they can't kill you.'

'Why not? They look like daleks, they sound like daleks…'

'They're still not daleks. For one thing, they don't have a kitchen plunger, just a gun. For another, a real dalek can say more than "Exterminate!", seen as they're actual creatures and not robots. Finally, fairy technology hasn't advanced far enough to a, mutate a creature into a dalek or b, kill someone instantly.'

'What about Softnoses?'

'They've all been destroyed.'

There was so much certainty in the young elf's face that Artemis knew it would be pointless to argue. Instead he stood up and sighed.

'So in this case,' he said, 'it is not, in fact, an olive.'

Berry smiled grimly. 'Nope,' she said as she drew her gun. 'This has gone decidedly pear-shaped.'