Okay, technically this is the last chapter, but if you count the epilogue as a chapter then it isn't. If you get my meaning. No? Okay then.

Knight of Eternal Darkness: Thanks, I think. Sorry about the melodrama, but when you consider the fact that I'm friends with Jennifer Spellbody just be glad that the characters aren't talking in clichés.

the perfect dingo: Not sure, I think he's gone on a coffee break.

Chapter 9: Mockingbird

Koboi Labs

Topaz Koboi leapt backwards, treading on the tail of one of the cats. She'd gone as white as freshly fallen snow when she saw Berry.

'You,' she stuttered. 'You're dead!'

'You'd be surprised how many times I've heard that today,' Berry said pleasantly. She tried to climb out of the dalek, fell over, and landed flat on her face on the floor.

'Ouch,' she said. 'You know, Topaz, it would be a lot of help if you put stairs on the daleks.'

Topaz frowned. 'The whats?'

'The daleks,' Berry said clearly. 'You know, this thing behind me? The Doctor's worst enemy?'

Topaz continued to look puzzled. Eventually she shook her head and said, 'I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. These are my guards, based on some of my sister's prototypes. They're controlled by a fairy sitting inside and messing around with a few buttons.'

Berry rolled her eyes. 'I know that,' she said. 'How do you think I drove the blooming thing?'

Topaz's eyes narrowed. 'Not very well,' she said scathingly.

Berry shrugged. 'Admittedly, but at least I got here.'

There was a grunt from Gravel. 'Fascinating as this is,' the dwarf said, 'it would be probably best if we stopped chatting and started blasting.'

Topaz gave the dwarf an annoyed look. 'You're always so violent, Gravel. What if I want to interrogate someone for once?'

'Interrogation?' Berry said cheerfully. 'Cool. I'm good at interrogating people. Sometimes I can get them to say more than they mean to.'

'Indeed,' Topaz said softly, before turning back to the dwarf. 'I don't know what your problem is, Gravel,' she snapped. 'You've been acting like this since we brought Short and the Mud Men here.'

Gravel shrugged. 'So?'

'So,' Topaz said, 'I am tired of your attitude. I'm not ten years old; I do know how to deal with prisoners. I don't need you holding my hand and telling me when it's time for a potty break.'

The pixie turned back to Berry. 'Short,' she sighed, 'what am I to do with you?'

Berry shrugged. 'Practically anything. I am at your mercy.'

Topaz smirked. 'Good.'

'Of course, that doesn't mean what you choose to do will succeed…'

'So it seems. You have proven quite an opponent.'

Berry smiled and saluted. 'Thank you. I shall take that as a compliment.'

Topaz studied her nails. 'It was. What would you say to stopping this malarkey and joining me? When I take over the world, you can be queen of Haven.'

Berry made a face. 'Not queen,' she said. 'I always associate queen with silly old biddies in funny hats. How about princess? I've no objection to that.'

Topaz clapped her hands in delight. 'Deal,' she said. 'Princess of Haven you will be.'

Berry appeared to consider the offer. 'All right,' she said eventually. 'I'll join you. On the condition that you let Artemis, Butler, and Holly go.'

Topaz waved her hands. 'Of course,' she said, as though Berry's friends and sister did not matter. 'There's no harm in doing that, considering they've been wiped blanker than an unused disk.'

Berry's face was carefully void of any emotion.

Topaz held out her hand. 'Deal?'

Berry shook it. 'Deal,' she replied.

'Unfortunately for you,' Gravel's voice said, 'this arrangement will not end well.'

En route to Koboi Labs from Police Plaza

'Honestly, sir, I'm fine.'

Private Hart didn't look 'fine'. Her eyes were red-rimmed and slightly watery and her childish features were far more worried than was normal for a pixie. However she was trying hard not to show it, which somehow made it more noticeable.

Root raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. 'Private, you broke down in front of the entire group. You didn't stop crying until Captain Kelp gave you a smoothie.'

Garnet looked embarrassed and stared fixedly at the floor. 'I'm sorry about that, sir,' she mumbled. 'It came as a bit of a shock, that's all.'

'Look,' Root said gently, 'it's not compulsory for you to come. No one will think any less of you if you stay in Police Plaza and write up your report on that goblin arrest; we know that family is a dangerous thing.'

What the Commander was trying to say was that he didn't want Garnet to make the same mistake he had when he faced his brother, Turnball Root. Julius still had trouble accepting the fact that he had hesitated: a chance to keep Haven safe from a criminal and he had hesitated. Why? Because said criminal was his brother. In doing so the lives of Trouble and then-newbie Holly Short had been threatened.

Garnet's eyes were dark and determined when she looked up. 'I know that, sir,' she said, quietly but clearly. 'Personal matters can cause mistakes. However personal – even family – isn't as important as keeping Haven safe.'

Root still looked sceptical. Eventually he reached a decision. 'All right,' he said, 'but if you even feel slightly weak about the knees then you're to return immediately to the shuttle, understood?'

Nettie nodded. 'Understood, sir.'

'Followed?'

Nettie smiled in a slightly spooky way. 'We'll see.'

Koboi Labs

Topaz rolled her eyes and turned to her supposed ally. 'Gravel,' she said impatiently, 'what under the world are you playing at?'

Gravel had his hand behind his back. 'Mutiny,' he replied.

In all fairness to her, Topaz was quick on the uptake. 'Guards! Guards!' she shouted.

No one entered. Slowly, casually, Gravel drew a Softnose from behind his back.

Oh, Berry thought. So maybe they weren't all destroyed.

'Topaz, Topaz, Topaz,' the dwarf said softly, almost pityingly. 'You were doing so well up until that moment.'

'Who are you working for?' the pixie spat. 'The LEP? My sister?'

Gravel pointed the gun at Berry. 'Ask her.'

If looks could kill, Berry would have been stone cold in the morgue. 'He's honestly not with us,' Corporal Short said. 'As a general rule, the LEP doesn't use dwarfs.'

Topaz's gaze switched back to Gravel. 'Were you working for my sister, then?'

'No, Gravel replied coolly. 'I was working for myself.'

Topaz sighed and looked at the floor. 'I thought so,' she said quietly. 'I was just the pretty face, am I right?'

Gravel nodded, a malicious expression on his dwarfish features.

Topaz kicked the floor. 'I fell for the same trick as Opal,' she said bitterly. 'Gods, I'm stupid.'

Berry wanted to say that no, she wasn't, but all evidence pointed in that direction so she decided to keep quiet.

Topaz looked forlornly at the elf. 'You weren't even considering joining me, were you?'

Berry shook her head apologetically. 'Sorry,' she said. 'I'm a copper. The safety of my city takes top priority.'

Topaz sighed again and returned to studying the floor. 'I thought so.'

Against all common sense, Berry's heart went out to the pixie. Gods, she thought. She kidnapped your sister, wiped your friend's mind, and you are actually feeling sorry for her. Kids, sympathy is a terrible thing.

Gravel clicked his tongue. 'Very touching,' he said. 'However I'm afraid a sob story isn't going to save you now. In fact, no– get off me, you stupid moggy!'

For one of Topaz's cats – the silver tabby – had wound itself around Gravel's leg. When he tried to kick the cat away, it growled, and sank its teeth into his leg.

The dwarf screamed in pain. For a moment he was distracted and a moment was all that was needed. Quick as a flash, Berry leapt into the dalek and aimed the gun at the dwarf. Careful not to hit the cat, Berry shot Gravel several timed in quick succession, just to be sure he was entirely numb and could do no more damage.

When she clambered out again (this time she didn't fall over), Topaz was sitting on the floor and hugging the silver tabby tightly.

'Thank you,' the pixie was saying, over and over again. 'You are a wonderful cat. Thank you so much, Guardian.'

The cat closed its eyes and purred.

Topaz turned to look at Berry. She smiled sadly. 'I suppose I'm going to be arrested now, aren't I?'

Berry nodded, although she didn't look that happy about it all.

Topaz sighed and buried her face in the cat's fur. 'I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt,' she said, although her voice was muted. 'I just wanted to prove I was better than Opal. For once, I was going to be better than Opal.'

Berry sat down next to her. 'I know what you mean,' she said. 'Sometimes it can be hard being Holly's sister. They never see you, they see Holly's little sister. Or Opal's, as the case may be.'

Topaz looked up. Tears clung to her lashes. 'The only person,' she choked, 'who ever saw me as me was Daddy. Then Opal sent him away. I hate her for that. I hate her.'

Berry placed her hand on Topaz's shoulder. She too knew what it was like to lose a father, although admittedly she had not been very close to him. Berry couldn't really relate to the whole 'I hate my sister thing' though; sometimes she disliked Holly, but there was always the same fierce pride and sibling love beneath it all.

In the absence of anything to say, Berry started singing. 'Hush, little baby, don't say a word; Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird…'

Topaz smiled sleepily, closed her eyes, and leant against Berry. Berry continued singing, eventually reaching the point where she was making it up as she went along.

'And if that diamond ring don't shine,

Papa's gonna buy you a goldmine.

And if that mine don't make you rich,

Papa's gonna buy you a rugby pitch…'

The door opened. A face poked through the gap.

'Topaz,' Nettie breathed. 'Is she all right?' she asked Berry.

Berry nodded. 'A bit sleepy, and more than a tad upset about the whole arrest thing. How did you get here?'

'Long story.' Nettie knelt down beside Berry and transferred her cousin's weight to herself. 'It's all right, Topaz,' she said soothingly. 'I'm here. It's Nettie.'

Topaz nodded sleepily.

'We're here because someone sent a distress signal from Koboi Labs and Root decided to follow the lead,' Nettie said to Berry. 'There are officers all over the building. Trouble's found your equipment. Root's in the foyer, waiting for the news that you and your sister are safe.'

Berry nodded, then smacked herself on the forehead. 'The wiping!' she exclaimed. 'I clean forgot!'

It turned out that there wasn't actually that much to be worried about. Holly, Artemis, and Butler were in the wiping room, but none of them were hooked up to the computer.

Holly smiled when she saw her sister. 'Welcome to the party,' she said. 'I'm afraid we started without you.'

Berry saw they had. A few of the pixie guards were out cold on the floor.

Without a word, Berry hugged her sister tightly. Holly looked more than a little surprised by this but returned the hug anyway.

'What's that all about?' Holly asked suspiciously when Berry let go of her.

'I'm just glad that you're my sister,' Berry said, 'and that you're safe and that you are not, for example, Opal Koboi.'

Holly opened her mouth to reply but was cut short by Artemis. (Ha ha, bad pun!)

'You appear to have forgotten,' the Irish teenager said, 'that you, Berry, are the one with the disks that return me to my former intelligence and state of mind.'

Berry rolled her eyes. 'You're right, of course,' she said. 'Heaven forbid you wait a minute longer…'

Artemis was placed in the chair and the electrodes were attached to his forehead. Ten minutes later, he was back to his old gloating self.

'Shame,' Holly said. 'Shorn of most of his personality, I quite like him.'

Then, almost as suddenly as it had begun, it was all over.

Well, not entirely over. There would be, for many years to come, the question as to who had sent the distress signal. Berry kept unusually quiet about that, swearing that she had not idea who had sent the message. The LEP didn't ask Artemis and probably wouldn't have believed his answer anyway. The only other two people who were there were Holly and Butler, and they hadn't seen their mystery helper.

There was also the question as to how Topaz had managed to obtain so many helpers. It was discovered that most of them had worked for her at the fern shop, but those who hadn't kept quiet about the whole thing. This didn't really come as a surprise: criminals were not known for their cooperation.

Berry refused to take credit for what she had done. She gave most of the glory to Holly and, when Holly wasn't around, the cat.

Later, when Artemis asked why, Berry replied, 'Because being a hero can be such a drag. Besides, I don't look the part. Better for Haven to believe that their darling Holly Short saved them once again.'

Root was incredibly relieved to see his officers returned, safe and sound, but he wouldn't admit it. Instead he gave a gruff, 'Well done,' and patted Holly on the back.

Topaz was arrested, although there was some protest from Berry. After all, it wasn't as if Topaz had actually hurt anyone, was it? However, as Trouble Kelp pointed out gently, 'You can't go changing the law to suit your needs.'

Berry and Holly, along with two or three other officers, accompanied Artemis and Butler back to Police Plaza, where there was the traditional argument as to whether they should be mind-wiped. Berry pointed out that the two of them hadn't asked to be involved: Topaz and the LEP had dragged the humans into the whole thing; therefore there was no basis for a mind-wipe. A disgruntled Council agreed that the young elf was right and sent Artemis and Butler on their way home.

'But if something like this happens again,' the Chairman said, 'I'm afraid that we are going to have to wipe the two of you.'

Artemis nodded and agreed to what the Council said. After all, he didn't plan on getting involved with the fairies again. Far too much bother. Sure, he liked them and all, but honestly, how were you supposed to get anything done if you spent all your time gallivanting with pointy-eared short people?

E1, Tara

It was night when Artemis and Butler arrived at Fowl Manor again, courtesy of fairy transport. Holly and Berry were with them, both with wings, although Berry had kept hold of her boots.

Artemis studied his nails. 'Am I right in thinking,' he said to Holly, 'that you are going to say something along the lines of "goodbye, for I will never see you again", and a few weeks later turn up on my doorstep?'

'Why?' Holly looked hurt. 'Don't you like my turning up on your doorstep?'

Berry shrugged. 'I guess it's one of those things that you shouldn't say,' she said. 'Like "I think we lost them" in a car chase. Or any sort of chase, for that matter.'

Holly smiled and turned to Butler. 'Bye, then,' she said. 'This'll probably be the last goodbye but knowing your charge we're going to be called upon once again to save his hide.'

'May I point out,' Artemis began, 'that this time you came to me.'

'Only because you sent a suspicious e-mail.'

'That was from Topaz Koboi and you know it.'

'No, I don't, she hasn't said anything yet. She's still asleep.'

'However I'm sure that when she wakes up she will admit to sending an e-mail to lure the two of you to Fowl Manor.'

'Ah, yes, but what if she doesn't?'

Berry and Butler rolled their eyes as the other two continued bickering. They only stopped when they remembered that Berry and Butler were, in fact, present.

Holly held out her hand. 'Goodbye, Artemis,' she said formally. 'It has been all right to see you again.'

Artemis shook her slim elfin hand. He practically enveloped it. 'Same here,' he said, mimicking Holly's formal tones.

Holly hugged Butler and turned away. 'Come on, Bez,' she said as she started up her wings.

'Oh, so I don't get to say goodbye?'

Holly sighed. 'All right, but be quick. According to Foaly the next return shuttle leaves in seven minutes.'

'Okey-dokey,' Berry replied.

Holly buzzed up her shield and presumably left, although it was hard to tell, what with her being invisible.

Artemis smiled slightly at Berry. 'Thanks to you,' he said, 'I'm going to be saying "okey-dokey", "alrighty then", and some of your various other phrases for weeks.'

Berry grinned like the Cheshire Cat. 'Nice to see I've had a lasting effect,' she said.

The elf turned to Butler. 'Bye, Butler,' she said. 'Shame we didn't get to spend more time together, Holly always speaks highly of you.'

Butler nodded and smiled at the elf. 'She spoke quite highly of you, when you weren't around.'

Berry looked genuinely surprised by this. 'Is that the truth? Wow.'

As she said that her hand unconsciously stroked her badge, which had been returned to her as soon as it was found. She seemed a lot more relaxed with it.

'You know,' Artemis said, 'we never did have that deep and meaningful conversation.'

'We talked about Life, the Universe, and Everything on the shuttle back to Police Plaza.'

'Yes, but I'm not sure if forty two counts as deep and meaningful.'

Berry smiled again. 'Bye, Art.'

'Bye, Bez.'

She tapped her foot – twice with the heel and once with the toe of the left boot – and hovered gently in the air.

'I'll hopefully see you two around,' she said. The she buzzed up her shield and flew away across the grass towards E1, Tara.

The front door of Fowl Manor opened and Angeline Fowl appeared, framed by the yellow light from the hall. 'Arty?' she called. 'Arty, are you all right? It's getting cold.'

Artemis smiled, walked towards his home, and hugged his mother. She looked a bit surprised but welcomed her son's unusual display of affection.

'I'm fine,' he said. 'In fact, I'm more than fine. I feel great.'

In that moment, on that night, everything felt superlative.