Disclaimer: Inuyasha wo shoyuu shitenai ze. Ba~~ka. ^_~V
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Inuki
Chapter Nine :: Aching Heart
It felt like she had slept forever. She had been dreaming, but at that one moment between sleeping and awake, she had forgotten it. All she could recall was seeing his silver hair, glowing ethereally in the moonlight. The warmth of his chest and the sound of his heartbeat as she fell into his arms. She wished he would hold her again.
"Hey, she's waking up," she heard his voice say and Kagome rolled over, grasping the hand that lay on the soft covers next to her. "Inuyasha..."
An aggravated, disappointed sigh. "No, it's just me."
Kagome snapped awake. Her eyes traveled up, and met his face. She failed to see the genuine worry on his face, or the anger that was prominent on his boyish features. All she could see was silver hair, and she instantly remember what had happened.
*Oh no, I called him Inuyasha... again.*
"Kagome-chan?" Kagome looked up, past Inuki. Mama was behind him, and then her friends, Jiichan and Souta lined beside her bed, all of them distinctly concerned. "Kagome-chan, are you alright?" Eri wondered aloud and Kagome smiled at them. "I'm okay... I'm sorry I worried everyone."
"It's alright. All that matters is that you're okay," Houjou said in his stupidly annoying way, and Kagome squinted at her clock. "What time is it?"
"You were only unconscious for a couple of minutes. Dinner may need to be warmed up a little bit, but it'll be okay." Mama assured her and Kagome nodded, looking back up at Inuki. He had never taken his eyes off her face, and she was vaguely aware he was still holding her hand between his. His hands were still clawed, hair still silver.
Eyes still the same gold as Inuyasha's.
She sat up. "I need to get straightened up a bit. Could you guys wait for me downstairs?"
Mama nodded and turned, shooing them downstairs. Inuki stood up from where he had been kneeling next to her bed, gently tugging Kagome's hand off his. "I should go too." His hair obscured his face from view; she could not see the hurt in his eyes that she knew was there. She reached out and caught the sleeve of the shirt she only now noticed was red.
*Inuyasha wore red...*
"Could you stay?" Inuki paused, his head down. He didn't answer for a long time and Kagome swallowed. "Please?"
"I can't." His voice was husky and soft. He couldn't keep his feelings out of his voice, no matter how hard he tried. "Yashagawa-kun, I'm sorry about before, I didn't know what I was saying."
"Yeah," he scoffed, "You never do." Kagome was hurt by his sarcastic tone. "Why are you so mad?! I apologized!"
He swirled on her, eyes blazing. "WHY?! YOU have the nerve to ask ME why I'm MAD?!!" Kagome cringed inwardly as he raised his voice. "I've seen the way you look at me. I know I look like your boyfriend, but I'm not him!! Still, just the same, you look at me like you're looking right through me. You don't see me when you look at me!"
Kagome paled, her hands clenching around her bedsheets. This was familiar... very, very familiar... She looked up at him, tears gathering in her eyes. "Stop..."
"You've never once called me by my first name," he continued, and Kagome bit her lip. "Stop."
Unknowingly, Inuki drew the last straw. "My name is Inuki! Not Inuyasha; I-nu-ki!!"
"STOP IT!! Shut up!" she yelled at him, jumping to her feet and pushing against his chest. "Stop it!"
Inuki drew back, confused as Kagome collapsed against him, great sobs wracking her small frame. She gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hands, her face buried against his chest. "Please, don't say any more..."
He didn't know what to do. He just looked down at her, his heart pounding. After a moment he patted her shoulder awkwardly, his hands unaccustomed to showing comfort. He frowned.
"Higurashi... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you cry."
"It's not you," she whispered brokenly, "It's me. It's my fault... I'm doing the same thing. Without even realizing it, I'm hurting you the same way he hurt me... I'm so, so sorry...."
Inuki's mouth worked silently. He was speechless. Kagome looked up at him and he winced at the sight of the tears that streamed down her face. "I know you're Yashagawa Inuki and not Inuyasha. I know that. But I can't help but see him when I look at you, you look so much like him. Even though you two are nothing alike.... I'm still in love with him!" Her face crinkled with the onslaught of more tears. "And I miss him so much!"
She let him go finally, sinking to the ground in one great white heap at his feet, her face in her hands. It was all she could do not to scream as though she were a maniac, like a shattered woman with her soul, her heart, torn from her too soon.
Inuki stood there for a moment, not really knowing what to do. He wasn't accustomed to handling women; he'd lived with his older brother most of his life. Girls weren't really his forte. He knew motorcycles, video games and art. And that was his entire world.
But he couldn't take those heart-wrenching sobs anymore. Each one, more heartbreaking than the last, tugged harder on his own heart-strings. He sat in front of her and reached out, tugging her hands away from her face. And then, in a voice he'd never heard come from himself, he whispered, "Sh.. it's gonna be alright."
Kagome stopped crying almost automatically. She looked up into his eyes, stupefied. Inuki smiled encouragingly at her, reached up and wiped away her tears with his thumb. He brushed her bangs back, away from her eyes. "You're gonna be okay. You're alright."
She was awestruck. Was this the same teenager she'd known for the past month? The one who berated her for her cooking, yelled at her for being stupid and bossy and bitchy, who called her pig-headed and ungrateful. The same one who was now comforting her, delicately rubbing out the tears which stained her face.
Kagome sniffled, pressing her lips together in an attempt to stop crying. "Yashagawa-kun..." Abruptly she leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder, her sobs quieting, but the tears just as present, just as mournful.
Six months had passed since Inuyasha's death. And yet not even on the day he had died, and they buried him underneath the Goshinboku did Kagome ever feel like this. Empty. Broken. She couldn't breathe. Six months of denial, of repressed emotion and now she was drowning, like she was being held underwater and she couldn't surface.
But he smelled so good, and he was so warm. She gripped his hand in hers, weeping silently on his shoulder. And he said nothing. He propped himself up against her desk, allowing her to hold him, to lean on him as she cried out all her grief, all her frustration.
They stayed together for several minutes, and Inuki said nothing because he didn't know what TO say. He didn't know the guy, although apparently he could look in the mirror and see him, daily. But it was obvious Higurashi loved him deeply. What could he possibly say that would make it any better?
He had never felt so helpless in his entire life.
Or so angry. What kind of guy had this idiot been, to have just left her like this? *Inuyasha you bastard...* he found himself thinking, and then just as quickly he caught himself. What did he care? She was just some stupid girl he went to school with. *And swore to protect...*
He sensed her calming a bit, her sobs grew quieter and she was sniffling more now. She pulled away, and he set his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay now," he asked with concern, and she nodded, her hand up by her face. "I'm sorry, Yashagawa-kun. I got your shirt all wet."
"Don't worry about it." he said softly, and Kagome looked up at him. He smiled, that reassuring one from before. "Let's go downstairs, I think they'll start sending up Makimoto-san and the others to check on us pretty soon."
Kagome laughed despite herself and accepted Inuki's hand as he helped her to her feet. "I gotta change shirts though, if we intend on partying. I look like I was trying to eat soup and missed my mouth."
As she followed him to the room he shared with Souta, she wiped her face, hoping she looked presentable. Inuki flicked on the light and glanced around the room before his yellow eyes found a heap of clothes on the floor. He knelt and starting flinging shirts and other garments about.
Kagome eyed the room in a surprised wonder that the boys could survive in such an abyss, but said nothing as she patiently waited for Inuki to find a clean shirt.
He pawed through the heap of clothes (hoping they were clean) before choosing one. "Here we go," he muttered, mostly for show, as he stood and whipped off the red shirt without warning.
Kagome turned back to him and, seeing him naked from the waist up, blushed brightly. He was a bit better built than Inuyasha, who'd had a small frame for a boy his age. Inuki was a little taller than Inuyasha, she realized, and he was lean and ripped. Not hugely overmuscled, but he had worked out some.
His skin was smooth and flawless, except for two markings. One was an obvious scar, a broken, jagged line over the right side of his collarbone. The second was near his heart, a tiny, hardly noticeable marking, shaped like a diamond. She stared. *Oh, my God... that's where I...*
Abruptly she remembered where she was, and turned to give him his privacy. When she turned back, he'd pulled on the dark navy shirt, and pulled a band around his hair, gathering it at his neck. She liked his hair more that way; it made him look less like Inuyasha, and he looked better in blue than he did in red. "Okay, we can go," he told her, ushering her towards the door.
She looked up at him. "Where'd you get that scar?"
Inuki grinned. "My older brother. He's not as careful with his claws as I am."
Kagome gawped and Inuki laughed at her. "I'm kidding!! I got it riding my motorcycle. I was racing for fun when I was 14 and released the pedal too quickly. Ended up doing a highside, and the bike landed on me. Broke my collarbone."
Kagome blinked. "You... don't have a... motorcycle."
He looked at her self-importantly. "I did when I lived with Takeru." Then he frowned. "Speaking of, I should probably go see the asshole and get the rest of my stuff." Kagome blinked a few times at the speed of his changing subjects, and then shook her head. "That's not the one I meant though, I meant the one over your heart."
"Oh that," he rested his hand over his chest. "That's a birthmark. Looks pretty weird, right? I guess birthmarks are supposed to be."
As he headed down the stairs, Kagome followed suit, her thoughts racing. *That's... where I shot Inuyasha with my purifying arrow... Dammit, everytime I think I can look at him as Inuki... something else reminds me of Inuyasha.*
She sighed. *Inuyasha, did you feel this way when it was me and Kikyou...?*
~*~
Downstairs, the grim, depressive mood had filtered towards the rest of the group. Luckily the moment Kagome and Inuki appeared and the girl assured her friends she was alright, the party continued.
The party itself was centered outside, even though the house was decorated. It was May now and so the nights were becoming warmer, allowing the girls to wear their frilly party dresses without the fear of getting cold.
Outside, in the backyard, there was a large table for everyone to eat dinner at, and another one with everyone's gifts. Mama had set up the large speakers from the stereo and so music filtered throughout the yard.
The girls had all brought dates, Ayumi actually coming with none other than Houjou. When Kagome asked about it, Ayumi fidgeted nervously before muttering they'd only come as friends and that she wasn't trying to get in on Houjou while Kagome wasn't into him. Houjou ruined her alibi when he came up and looked first at Kagome and then Ayumi before cheerfully asking, "Ayumi-chan, would you dance with me?"
After dinner was finished and everyone had given gifts, Kagome noticed Inuki standing on the patio, arms folded as he leaned against the wall of the house. His eyes were glowing, compliments of the night vision he didn't require tonight because of the lanterns set out for the group.
She remembered him saying he had never been much for partying, but standing there and watching her like a hawk for any sign her emotional well-being might be slipping wasn't healthy behavior whether he was into parties or not.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, going up to him, and he looked up at her blankly. "Thinking."
"Well stop thinking and come dance with me."
Inuki opened his mouth to reply, but seeing his furrowed brow, she realized he had no intention of complying, so Kagome quickly took his hand and dragged him out with her friends. Inuki made a strained "No!" noise as she did this, and growled lowly, glancing around himself to see if anyone was watching.
"Higurashi, I can't dance," he muttered under his breath, and Kagome giggled. "It's okay. Just follow me." She took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers before looking up at him seriously. Inuki looked down into her brown eyes, his heart pounding in his ears like a drum. Kagome drew up to him, smiling as she laid her head to his chest. "You have to be closer, like this."
Then she began to rock ever so slightly, and Inuki moved with her, staring past her raven hair to the ground. His thoughts roared in his head, a warring cacophony of emotions and logic. He felt different, and it wasn't because his youkai blood was at his surface tonight. Something had happened in her room, something that changed them. Something was happening to them right now. He wasn't sure if he liked it. And it bothered him.
He wanted it to go back to when it had been simple. When the only one he'd had to worry about was himself, and the only one he could trust was himself. His father had abandoned him, his mother had died and his brother had never cared to begin with. He was alone and that was the way it had to be. You didn't get hurt if you were by yourself.
And then she came into his life. She, who made him so happy, made him understand what it meant to have friends. What it meant to have someone care for you.
But she never saw him. She didn't know anything about him; what he liked to do, his favorite color, his favorite singer. She hadn't even known about his motorcycle, and everyone on the soccer team knew about that.
The only thing she'd been able to see was that she was hurting him. She had said something, 'Without even realizing it, I'm hurting you the same way he hurt me.' He didn't know what she meant. He hadn't even realized that what she was doing to him bothered him so much until she had said it aloud.
And then he knew she was right.
But as much as she hurt him, and every day she called him Inuyasha made him want to withdraw, he wanted to be with her. In the short time they'd been together, he'd grown protective of her. He'd grown to cherish her presence and he felt bound to her like he'd felt bound to no other.
"Yashagawa-kun..."
"Yeah," his voice was quiet. He felt Kagome smile against his shirt. "Thank you."
He blinked several times and then shifted, looking down at her as if she could see him. "For what?" The girl didn't move from her spot in his arms. "For staying with me."
Inuki swallowed. Then he nodded. "No problem."
It was okay. It was okay to hold her in his arms this way. Even though being alone was so much simpler, and part of him wanted it simple again, it was okay to be with her. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her hair.
Let me be in your world. Let me protect you.
I want to know about Inuyasha. If you tell me, he can't hurt you anymore.
Kagome...
~*~
"Kagome-chan, your Aunt Rika is on the phone!" Mama called out the back door, and Kagome looked up from her place at the table where she and her friends were talking. "Oh, okay!" She looked back at Eri and the others. "I'm sorry, can you wait about ten minutes? I'll be right back."
"No, no problem, Kagome-chan. Take your time." Yuka waved her away and Kagome nodded apologetically. "Thank you! I'll be right back." She darted away and Eri smiled faintly.
"Poor Kagome-chan..." she said sympathetically, unknowingly catching the sensitive ears of Inuki.
Yuka nodded. "I thought she was over him. She told me she was okay. But she looks like she's doing better right now..."
"It was that badass, overly jealous, violently possessive, two-timing boyfriend, wasn't it?? How did he die?" Ayumi wondered and at that Inuki frowned. These girls were Kagome's best friends; didn't they know how he had died? If she loved him so much, she would've introduced him to her friends, wouldn't she?
He narrowed his eyes. Her family had a very intimate respect on this Inuyasha bastard, but her friends did not. It made no sense.
And what exactly did 'badass, overly jealous, violently possessive, two-timing boyfriend' mean? What kind of guy was she involved with?? A member of the Yakuza?!?
He walked over to them. "Uhm... excuse me..."
The four girls looked up in surprise and Inuki noticed that Shiori just as quickly looked away, her cheeks pink. He ignored it. "Makimoto-san..." he began, addressing Eri, "What kind of person was Inuyasha?"
"Oh, was that his name?" Eri asked, flooring the white-haired young man. Unaware of his surprise, the girl promptly shrugged. "I'm not sure. We never met him. Last year, around the time she was sort of dating Houjou-kun, Kagome-chan started having these really bad illnesses."
"One week she had really bad diaherrea and then the next it was diabetes, and then the week after that she was throwing up blood. It was really scary for awhile." Ayumi interrupted and Inuki's face turned a nice shade of green. He shrugged it off as Yuka continued. "Anyway, also around that time she started to lose interest in Houjou-kun... and after while we finally got it out of her that she was dating some other guy."
"From how she explained it to us, he was a real jerk," Eri told him, "He tried to kill some guy for hitting on her, once."
Inuki stared. "And you never met him??"
"No, he never seemed to be around. He went to a different school than us..." Yuka replied, then her eyes darkened. "Now that I think about, I don't even know what he looks like." Inuki drooped. *Like me, apparently.* He shrugged, mumbling his thanks to the girls before wandering away, arms folded over his chest. Yuka smiled faintly. "He's really concerned about her, ne?"
"Yashagawa-kun's a really nice guy, really," Shiori murmured, her eyes dreamy as she watched him leave. "And even though it's weird, that thing his hair does is so cool looking...!"
"Although, now that I think about it, he sorta brought up a good point." Ayumi stated and Eri looked at her. "Which is?"
"Kagome-chan can keep a secret!" Ayumi said, "I mean, we didn't know about Badass until she was already pretty into the relationship. And Yashagawa-kun's been in school for a month and he's been LIVING with her!! She didn't even tell us!!"
Eri, Yuka and Shiori all looked horrified. "That's RIGHT!"
"I'm back!" Kagome peeped, suddenly at their side, and all four girls turned to her. "YOU! We have a bone to pick with you!!!!"
The girl cringed. "Eh???"
~*~
The moon hung large and high in the sky by the time the party dispersed. Souta had fallen asleep and Mama had decided cleanup could wait until the next morning. Kagome stood at the door of her home, waving to the disappearing forms of her friends.
"Goodnight, minna!! I'll see you all tomorrow morning, at school!" There were faint calls of goodbyes as the girls and their dates drifted away, and only when they were out of sight did Kagome step back in and shut the door.
Inuki met her in the foyer. He was wearing his jeans loosely, his ponytail hanging lower. He looked very relaxed physically, but his face was taut with concern. "Are you doing alright?"
She smiled at him. "I'll be okay. I just need to rest. Take a nice, hot bath, maybe snuggle up under the covers with Shippou-plushie and sleep in. Until my alarm clock says its time to get up and go to school."
She paused under his glare and made an annoyed noise under her breath, turning towards the stairs. "I know, that's how things got bad to begin with... I should probably talk to someone who knows what I'm going through..."
"Well that'll be pretty difficult, won't it? Considering not a single one of your friends knew him." He crossed his arms. Kagome, hearing this, turned back down the stairs and looked down at him, looking mildly betrayed. "You talked to Eri-chan and the others?"
"Yeah. Also found it very surprising that a 15 year old girl wouldn't tell her best friends about the love of her life," he replied, and Kagome blew out a heavy breath and turned back up the steps, trudging up a few of them. "Inuyasha was different from other guys. The only one who would probably understand is..."
Inuki followed her up the stairs, only behind a step or two. "Who?"
Kagome stopped. Her shoulders sagged. "Sango-chan."
Inuki crossed the distance between them and stood on the step in front of her, bearing down over her small form. "Don't know her, was she here?" Kagome looked up at him helplessly. For a moment Inuki thought she would tell him about Inuyasha, tell him everything, but her face crinkled and she brushed past him, continuing towards her room.
"No, you wouldn't know her. Sango-chan wasn't here and can't come, ever. That's because Sango-chan, and Miroku-sama, and Shippou-chan-- all of the friends who knew and loved Inuyasha, live 500 years in the past. And you wouldn't understand."
She felt his hands grip her wrist and he spun her around to face him. He grit his teeth. "Of course I would understand. I'm a hanyou!! What wouldn't I understand?!!"
Kagome caught her breath. Inuki glared up at her, misinterpreting her surprise. "In my body flows the blood of an inuyoukai. Even if I'm only partially so, I'm a demon. I've seen some crazy shit in my lifetime. There is not a thing you could tell me that would shock me."
"Yes, I could." He blinked, stunned. Kagome reached out and brushed her fingers over the top of his head, almost affectionately. "This is where his ears were... As an inuhanyou, Inuyasha had dog-ears, not human ones."
Inuki blinked. "Inuyasha was a ...a what?"
Kagome looked Inuki in the eye. "I'll tell you. About Inuyasha. You should know about him... as his reincarnation."
~*~ To be continued ~*~
a/n :: I'm taking my time, but I'm getting there! Gotta appease some peoples!! lol~ Seems like alot of reviewers want Inuki to turn into Inuyasha. Well, tough beef jerky, people! Xp He's Inuki now! Thats like asking Kagome to turn into Kikyou. (ugh) Anyway, next chapter: Kagome remembers Inuyasha's death. ^-^V Hope you guys can stand the waiting!
Btw, sorry for the motorcycles thing, I love them~ And a white-haired Inuki riding on a bike on the night of the full moon just strikes me as kick@$$~ ::grin grin::
Another btw, Inuki said Higurashi in the last chapter because that's what he calls her! He has never called her "Kagome" out loud. (Maybe some of his thoughts that I forgot to catch, but never aloud) Anyway ^-^V please review!!
Okie, ja~!
~*~ V^-^V ~*~
~Tessen
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Inuki
Chapter Nine :: Aching Heart
It felt like she had slept forever. She had been dreaming, but at that one moment between sleeping and awake, she had forgotten it. All she could recall was seeing his silver hair, glowing ethereally in the moonlight. The warmth of his chest and the sound of his heartbeat as she fell into his arms. She wished he would hold her again.
"Hey, she's waking up," she heard his voice say and Kagome rolled over, grasping the hand that lay on the soft covers next to her. "Inuyasha..."
An aggravated, disappointed sigh. "No, it's just me."
Kagome snapped awake. Her eyes traveled up, and met his face. She failed to see the genuine worry on his face, or the anger that was prominent on his boyish features. All she could see was silver hair, and she instantly remember what had happened.
*Oh no, I called him Inuyasha... again.*
"Kagome-chan?" Kagome looked up, past Inuki. Mama was behind him, and then her friends, Jiichan and Souta lined beside her bed, all of them distinctly concerned. "Kagome-chan, are you alright?" Eri wondered aloud and Kagome smiled at them. "I'm okay... I'm sorry I worried everyone."
"It's alright. All that matters is that you're okay," Houjou said in his stupidly annoying way, and Kagome squinted at her clock. "What time is it?"
"You were only unconscious for a couple of minutes. Dinner may need to be warmed up a little bit, but it'll be okay." Mama assured her and Kagome nodded, looking back up at Inuki. He had never taken his eyes off her face, and she was vaguely aware he was still holding her hand between his. His hands were still clawed, hair still silver.
Eyes still the same gold as Inuyasha's.
She sat up. "I need to get straightened up a bit. Could you guys wait for me downstairs?"
Mama nodded and turned, shooing them downstairs. Inuki stood up from where he had been kneeling next to her bed, gently tugging Kagome's hand off his. "I should go too." His hair obscured his face from view; she could not see the hurt in his eyes that she knew was there. She reached out and caught the sleeve of the shirt she only now noticed was red.
*Inuyasha wore red...*
"Could you stay?" Inuki paused, his head down. He didn't answer for a long time and Kagome swallowed. "Please?"
"I can't." His voice was husky and soft. He couldn't keep his feelings out of his voice, no matter how hard he tried. "Yashagawa-kun, I'm sorry about before, I didn't know what I was saying."
"Yeah," he scoffed, "You never do." Kagome was hurt by his sarcastic tone. "Why are you so mad?! I apologized!"
He swirled on her, eyes blazing. "WHY?! YOU have the nerve to ask ME why I'm MAD?!!" Kagome cringed inwardly as he raised his voice. "I've seen the way you look at me. I know I look like your boyfriend, but I'm not him!! Still, just the same, you look at me like you're looking right through me. You don't see me when you look at me!"
Kagome paled, her hands clenching around her bedsheets. This was familiar... very, very familiar... She looked up at him, tears gathering in her eyes. "Stop..."
"You've never once called me by my first name," he continued, and Kagome bit her lip. "Stop."
Unknowingly, Inuki drew the last straw. "My name is Inuki! Not Inuyasha; I-nu-ki!!"
"STOP IT!! Shut up!" she yelled at him, jumping to her feet and pushing against his chest. "Stop it!"
Inuki drew back, confused as Kagome collapsed against him, great sobs wracking her small frame. She gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hands, her face buried against his chest. "Please, don't say any more..."
He didn't know what to do. He just looked down at her, his heart pounding. After a moment he patted her shoulder awkwardly, his hands unaccustomed to showing comfort. He frowned.
"Higurashi... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you cry."
"It's not you," she whispered brokenly, "It's me. It's my fault... I'm doing the same thing. Without even realizing it, I'm hurting you the same way he hurt me... I'm so, so sorry...."
Inuki's mouth worked silently. He was speechless. Kagome looked up at him and he winced at the sight of the tears that streamed down her face. "I know you're Yashagawa Inuki and not Inuyasha. I know that. But I can't help but see him when I look at you, you look so much like him. Even though you two are nothing alike.... I'm still in love with him!" Her face crinkled with the onslaught of more tears. "And I miss him so much!"
She let him go finally, sinking to the ground in one great white heap at his feet, her face in her hands. It was all she could do not to scream as though she were a maniac, like a shattered woman with her soul, her heart, torn from her too soon.
Inuki stood there for a moment, not really knowing what to do. He wasn't accustomed to handling women; he'd lived with his older brother most of his life. Girls weren't really his forte. He knew motorcycles, video games and art. And that was his entire world.
But he couldn't take those heart-wrenching sobs anymore. Each one, more heartbreaking than the last, tugged harder on his own heart-strings. He sat in front of her and reached out, tugging her hands away from her face. And then, in a voice he'd never heard come from himself, he whispered, "Sh.. it's gonna be alright."
Kagome stopped crying almost automatically. She looked up into his eyes, stupefied. Inuki smiled encouragingly at her, reached up and wiped away her tears with his thumb. He brushed her bangs back, away from her eyes. "You're gonna be okay. You're alright."
She was awestruck. Was this the same teenager she'd known for the past month? The one who berated her for her cooking, yelled at her for being stupid and bossy and bitchy, who called her pig-headed and ungrateful. The same one who was now comforting her, delicately rubbing out the tears which stained her face.
Kagome sniffled, pressing her lips together in an attempt to stop crying. "Yashagawa-kun..." Abruptly she leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder, her sobs quieting, but the tears just as present, just as mournful.
Six months had passed since Inuyasha's death. And yet not even on the day he had died, and they buried him underneath the Goshinboku did Kagome ever feel like this. Empty. Broken. She couldn't breathe. Six months of denial, of repressed emotion and now she was drowning, like she was being held underwater and she couldn't surface.
But he smelled so good, and he was so warm. She gripped his hand in hers, weeping silently on his shoulder. And he said nothing. He propped himself up against her desk, allowing her to hold him, to lean on him as she cried out all her grief, all her frustration.
They stayed together for several minutes, and Inuki said nothing because he didn't know what TO say. He didn't know the guy, although apparently he could look in the mirror and see him, daily. But it was obvious Higurashi loved him deeply. What could he possibly say that would make it any better?
He had never felt so helpless in his entire life.
Or so angry. What kind of guy had this idiot been, to have just left her like this? *Inuyasha you bastard...* he found himself thinking, and then just as quickly he caught himself. What did he care? She was just some stupid girl he went to school with. *And swore to protect...*
He sensed her calming a bit, her sobs grew quieter and she was sniffling more now. She pulled away, and he set his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay now," he asked with concern, and she nodded, her hand up by her face. "I'm sorry, Yashagawa-kun. I got your shirt all wet."
"Don't worry about it." he said softly, and Kagome looked up at him. He smiled, that reassuring one from before. "Let's go downstairs, I think they'll start sending up Makimoto-san and the others to check on us pretty soon."
Kagome laughed despite herself and accepted Inuki's hand as he helped her to her feet. "I gotta change shirts though, if we intend on partying. I look like I was trying to eat soup and missed my mouth."
As she followed him to the room he shared with Souta, she wiped her face, hoping she looked presentable. Inuki flicked on the light and glanced around the room before his yellow eyes found a heap of clothes on the floor. He knelt and starting flinging shirts and other garments about.
Kagome eyed the room in a surprised wonder that the boys could survive in such an abyss, but said nothing as she patiently waited for Inuki to find a clean shirt.
He pawed through the heap of clothes (hoping they were clean) before choosing one. "Here we go," he muttered, mostly for show, as he stood and whipped off the red shirt without warning.
Kagome turned back to him and, seeing him naked from the waist up, blushed brightly. He was a bit better built than Inuyasha, who'd had a small frame for a boy his age. Inuki was a little taller than Inuyasha, she realized, and he was lean and ripped. Not hugely overmuscled, but he had worked out some.
His skin was smooth and flawless, except for two markings. One was an obvious scar, a broken, jagged line over the right side of his collarbone. The second was near his heart, a tiny, hardly noticeable marking, shaped like a diamond. She stared. *Oh, my God... that's where I...*
Abruptly she remembered where she was, and turned to give him his privacy. When she turned back, he'd pulled on the dark navy shirt, and pulled a band around his hair, gathering it at his neck. She liked his hair more that way; it made him look less like Inuyasha, and he looked better in blue than he did in red. "Okay, we can go," he told her, ushering her towards the door.
She looked up at him. "Where'd you get that scar?"
Inuki grinned. "My older brother. He's not as careful with his claws as I am."
Kagome gawped and Inuki laughed at her. "I'm kidding!! I got it riding my motorcycle. I was racing for fun when I was 14 and released the pedal too quickly. Ended up doing a highside, and the bike landed on me. Broke my collarbone."
Kagome blinked. "You... don't have a... motorcycle."
He looked at her self-importantly. "I did when I lived with Takeru." Then he frowned. "Speaking of, I should probably go see the asshole and get the rest of my stuff." Kagome blinked a few times at the speed of his changing subjects, and then shook her head. "That's not the one I meant though, I meant the one over your heart."
"Oh that," he rested his hand over his chest. "That's a birthmark. Looks pretty weird, right? I guess birthmarks are supposed to be."
As he headed down the stairs, Kagome followed suit, her thoughts racing. *That's... where I shot Inuyasha with my purifying arrow... Dammit, everytime I think I can look at him as Inuki... something else reminds me of Inuyasha.*
She sighed. *Inuyasha, did you feel this way when it was me and Kikyou...?*
~*~
Downstairs, the grim, depressive mood had filtered towards the rest of the group. Luckily the moment Kagome and Inuki appeared and the girl assured her friends she was alright, the party continued.
The party itself was centered outside, even though the house was decorated. It was May now and so the nights were becoming warmer, allowing the girls to wear their frilly party dresses without the fear of getting cold.
Outside, in the backyard, there was a large table for everyone to eat dinner at, and another one with everyone's gifts. Mama had set up the large speakers from the stereo and so music filtered throughout the yard.
The girls had all brought dates, Ayumi actually coming with none other than Houjou. When Kagome asked about it, Ayumi fidgeted nervously before muttering they'd only come as friends and that she wasn't trying to get in on Houjou while Kagome wasn't into him. Houjou ruined her alibi when he came up and looked first at Kagome and then Ayumi before cheerfully asking, "Ayumi-chan, would you dance with me?"
After dinner was finished and everyone had given gifts, Kagome noticed Inuki standing on the patio, arms folded as he leaned against the wall of the house. His eyes were glowing, compliments of the night vision he didn't require tonight because of the lanterns set out for the group.
She remembered him saying he had never been much for partying, but standing there and watching her like a hawk for any sign her emotional well-being might be slipping wasn't healthy behavior whether he was into parties or not.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, going up to him, and he looked up at her blankly. "Thinking."
"Well stop thinking and come dance with me."
Inuki opened his mouth to reply, but seeing his furrowed brow, she realized he had no intention of complying, so Kagome quickly took his hand and dragged him out with her friends. Inuki made a strained "No!" noise as she did this, and growled lowly, glancing around himself to see if anyone was watching.
"Higurashi, I can't dance," he muttered under his breath, and Kagome giggled. "It's okay. Just follow me." She took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers before looking up at him seriously. Inuki looked down into her brown eyes, his heart pounding in his ears like a drum. Kagome drew up to him, smiling as she laid her head to his chest. "You have to be closer, like this."
Then she began to rock ever so slightly, and Inuki moved with her, staring past her raven hair to the ground. His thoughts roared in his head, a warring cacophony of emotions and logic. He felt different, and it wasn't because his youkai blood was at his surface tonight. Something had happened in her room, something that changed them. Something was happening to them right now. He wasn't sure if he liked it. And it bothered him.
He wanted it to go back to when it had been simple. When the only one he'd had to worry about was himself, and the only one he could trust was himself. His father had abandoned him, his mother had died and his brother had never cared to begin with. He was alone and that was the way it had to be. You didn't get hurt if you were by yourself.
And then she came into his life. She, who made him so happy, made him understand what it meant to have friends. What it meant to have someone care for you.
But she never saw him. She didn't know anything about him; what he liked to do, his favorite color, his favorite singer. She hadn't even known about his motorcycle, and everyone on the soccer team knew about that.
The only thing she'd been able to see was that she was hurting him. She had said something, 'Without even realizing it, I'm hurting you the same way he hurt me.' He didn't know what she meant. He hadn't even realized that what she was doing to him bothered him so much until she had said it aloud.
And then he knew she was right.
But as much as she hurt him, and every day she called him Inuyasha made him want to withdraw, he wanted to be with her. In the short time they'd been together, he'd grown protective of her. He'd grown to cherish her presence and he felt bound to her like he'd felt bound to no other.
"Yashagawa-kun..."
"Yeah," his voice was quiet. He felt Kagome smile against his shirt. "Thank you."
He blinked several times and then shifted, looking down at her as if she could see him. "For what?" The girl didn't move from her spot in his arms. "For staying with me."
Inuki swallowed. Then he nodded. "No problem."
It was okay. It was okay to hold her in his arms this way. Even though being alone was so much simpler, and part of him wanted it simple again, it was okay to be with her. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her hair.
Let me be in your world. Let me protect you.
I want to know about Inuyasha. If you tell me, he can't hurt you anymore.
Kagome...
~*~
"Kagome-chan, your Aunt Rika is on the phone!" Mama called out the back door, and Kagome looked up from her place at the table where she and her friends were talking. "Oh, okay!" She looked back at Eri and the others. "I'm sorry, can you wait about ten minutes? I'll be right back."
"No, no problem, Kagome-chan. Take your time." Yuka waved her away and Kagome nodded apologetically. "Thank you! I'll be right back." She darted away and Eri smiled faintly.
"Poor Kagome-chan..." she said sympathetically, unknowingly catching the sensitive ears of Inuki.
Yuka nodded. "I thought she was over him. She told me she was okay. But she looks like she's doing better right now..."
"It was that badass, overly jealous, violently possessive, two-timing boyfriend, wasn't it?? How did he die?" Ayumi wondered and at that Inuki frowned. These girls were Kagome's best friends; didn't they know how he had died? If she loved him so much, she would've introduced him to her friends, wouldn't she?
He narrowed his eyes. Her family had a very intimate respect on this Inuyasha bastard, but her friends did not. It made no sense.
And what exactly did 'badass, overly jealous, violently possessive, two-timing boyfriend' mean? What kind of guy was she involved with?? A member of the Yakuza?!?
He walked over to them. "Uhm... excuse me..."
The four girls looked up in surprise and Inuki noticed that Shiori just as quickly looked away, her cheeks pink. He ignored it. "Makimoto-san..." he began, addressing Eri, "What kind of person was Inuyasha?"
"Oh, was that his name?" Eri asked, flooring the white-haired young man. Unaware of his surprise, the girl promptly shrugged. "I'm not sure. We never met him. Last year, around the time she was sort of dating Houjou-kun, Kagome-chan started having these really bad illnesses."
"One week she had really bad diaherrea and then the next it was diabetes, and then the week after that she was throwing up blood. It was really scary for awhile." Ayumi interrupted and Inuki's face turned a nice shade of green. He shrugged it off as Yuka continued. "Anyway, also around that time she started to lose interest in Houjou-kun... and after while we finally got it out of her that she was dating some other guy."
"From how she explained it to us, he was a real jerk," Eri told him, "He tried to kill some guy for hitting on her, once."
Inuki stared. "And you never met him??"
"No, he never seemed to be around. He went to a different school than us..." Yuka replied, then her eyes darkened. "Now that I think about, I don't even know what he looks like." Inuki drooped. *Like me, apparently.* He shrugged, mumbling his thanks to the girls before wandering away, arms folded over his chest. Yuka smiled faintly. "He's really concerned about her, ne?"
"Yashagawa-kun's a really nice guy, really," Shiori murmured, her eyes dreamy as she watched him leave. "And even though it's weird, that thing his hair does is so cool looking...!"
"Although, now that I think about it, he sorta brought up a good point." Ayumi stated and Eri looked at her. "Which is?"
"Kagome-chan can keep a secret!" Ayumi said, "I mean, we didn't know about Badass until she was already pretty into the relationship. And Yashagawa-kun's been in school for a month and he's been LIVING with her!! She didn't even tell us!!"
Eri, Yuka and Shiori all looked horrified. "That's RIGHT!"
"I'm back!" Kagome peeped, suddenly at their side, and all four girls turned to her. "YOU! We have a bone to pick with you!!!!"
The girl cringed. "Eh???"
~*~
The moon hung large and high in the sky by the time the party dispersed. Souta had fallen asleep and Mama had decided cleanup could wait until the next morning. Kagome stood at the door of her home, waving to the disappearing forms of her friends.
"Goodnight, minna!! I'll see you all tomorrow morning, at school!" There were faint calls of goodbyes as the girls and their dates drifted away, and only when they were out of sight did Kagome step back in and shut the door.
Inuki met her in the foyer. He was wearing his jeans loosely, his ponytail hanging lower. He looked very relaxed physically, but his face was taut with concern. "Are you doing alright?"
She smiled at him. "I'll be okay. I just need to rest. Take a nice, hot bath, maybe snuggle up under the covers with Shippou-plushie and sleep in. Until my alarm clock says its time to get up and go to school."
She paused under his glare and made an annoyed noise under her breath, turning towards the stairs. "I know, that's how things got bad to begin with... I should probably talk to someone who knows what I'm going through..."
"Well that'll be pretty difficult, won't it? Considering not a single one of your friends knew him." He crossed his arms. Kagome, hearing this, turned back down the stairs and looked down at him, looking mildly betrayed. "You talked to Eri-chan and the others?"
"Yeah. Also found it very surprising that a 15 year old girl wouldn't tell her best friends about the love of her life," he replied, and Kagome blew out a heavy breath and turned back up the steps, trudging up a few of them. "Inuyasha was different from other guys. The only one who would probably understand is..."
Inuki followed her up the stairs, only behind a step or two. "Who?"
Kagome stopped. Her shoulders sagged. "Sango-chan."
Inuki crossed the distance between them and stood on the step in front of her, bearing down over her small form. "Don't know her, was she here?" Kagome looked up at him helplessly. For a moment Inuki thought she would tell him about Inuyasha, tell him everything, but her face crinkled and she brushed past him, continuing towards her room.
"No, you wouldn't know her. Sango-chan wasn't here and can't come, ever. That's because Sango-chan, and Miroku-sama, and Shippou-chan-- all of the friends who knew and loved Inuyasha, live 500 years in the past. And you wouldn't understand."
She felt his hands grip her wrist and he spun her around to face him. He grit his teeth. "Of course I would understand. I'm a hanyou!! What wouldn't I understand?!!"
Kagome caught her breath. Inuki glared up at her, misinterpreting her surprise. "In my body flows the blood of an inuyoukai. Even if I'm only partially so, I'm a demon. I've seen some crazy shit in my lifetime. There is not a thing you could tell me that would shock me."
"Yes, I could." He blinked, stunned. Kagome reached out and brushed her fingers over the top of his head, almost affectionately. "This is where his ears were... As an inuhanyou, Inuyasha had dog-ears, not human ones."
Inuki blinked. "Inuyasha was a ...a what?"
Kagome looked Inuki in the eye. "I'll tell you. About Inuyasha. You should know about him... as his reincarnation."
~*~ To be continued ~*~
a/n :: I'm taking my time, but I'm getting there! Gotta appease some peoples!! lol~ Seems like alot of reviewers want Inuki to turn into Inuyasha. Well, tough beef jerky, people! Xp He's Inuki now! Thats like asking Kagome to turn into Kikyou. (ugh) Anyway, next chapter: Kagome remembers Inuyasha's death. ^-^V Hope you guys can stand the waiting!
Btw, sorry for the motorcycles thing, I love them~ And a white-haired Inuki riding on a bike on the night of the full moon just strikes me as kick@$$~ ::grin grin::
Another btw, Inuki said Higurashi in the last chapter because that's what he calls her! He has never called her "Kagome" out loud. (Maybe some of his thoughts that I forgot to catch, but never aloud) Anyway ^-^V please review!!
Okie, ja~!
~*~ V^-^V ~*~
~Tessen