Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters they are property of the creators of Degrassi. What an awesome show.
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Marco's POV
A fresh start. A new day. That's just what everybody keeps telling me. It's been exactly three days from this moment since I broke up with him. Since I broke up with Dylan. I can't stop the tears from my eyes like I can't stop my heart from breaking. The thing is he already had broken it before I even told him it was over. He had broken it once he said that he wanted to open the relationship.
That hurt more than words can say. He said he loved me but how could he do that if he did love me. Shouldn't I have been enough to keep him from wanting to experiment with others? The only thing I can keep thinking is how could he do this to me? If he loved me then how could he want others and me at the same time? It just doesn't make any sense. Everybody's worried but what am I to do. I'm lost in this world when just a few days ago I knew where I was and where I was going.
I was going to give up anything to be with him but then he does this. He didn't know that I was trying to get as many credits over the summer as possible so then I would only have to go to school for one semester so I could be with him. I wanted it to be a surprise. I'm the one that got the surprise when I walked into his dorm room only three days ago. I saw him with another guy who I found out later was Eric. Who was in his psych class.
He had the nerve to say that he just wanted to open the relationship up but not brake up. Like I said before why would he need someone else if he had me? I just don't get it. It just doesn't make any sense. He was my one and only. My first in many ways like he was my first crush, my first boyfriend, he was the first to be with me. He was the one that I thought I could be with for the rest of my life. It's been only three days and I wish that it never happened. That I could just go back and change it to where I never knew that he did this. To never know what he had been doing on his off hours at the dorm.
I just think that maybe I was better off never meeting him or never actually going on that date with him but then I go back and wish I could have it all back. Just to have it back to where we were happy just it being us. Just the two of us. I wish it could go back but then I'm the one that broke it off in the first place so it was my choice. I wouldn't be able to handle the fact that he had to experiment with others just so he could have the full college lifestyle that he thinks is just the best.
I don't think he realizes just how much it hurt to hear him say he wanted to open the relationship. It made me feel worthless and not worth living. I actually wanted to stop living after the brake up. What was I to do? I just couldn't do that to everybody. To my parents, my friends, and especially to Ellie because she just has had too many people disappoint her to leave her in the world without a warning. She deserves one person to be a constant and I just happen to be that person.
She is really the only one that is keeping me going. The only one that is there for me when I need someone. It's hard because of who Dylan was. Ellie is really the only one that really can help me in this time. I understand that all my friends are worried about me but I am okay considering the circumstances. It seems that just three days ago everything was perfect. But I realized that nothing is perfect or if it is or close to it something goes and makes sure that it gets ruined before it can truly be felt.
I turn on the radio and it seems this one song is haunting me. It's hitting way to close to home. The song "Promises" by Adema.
I went outside to take a walk
so I could relive memories
I thought that you would lend a hand
but you were never ever there
it's all in your mind
you do what you wanna do
your promises are all played out
you've got your wish
you've worn me down
I've treated you the best I could
I realize that I don't need you
I lost my way when you left home
I thought that you could change your life
what did I do? why do you lie?
you've walked back in, my hands are tied
it's all in your mind
you do what you wanna do
your promises are all played out
you've got your wish
you've worn me down
I've treated you the best I could
I realize that I don't need you
it's all in your mind
you do what you want to do
it's all in your mind
you do what you want to me
I'm tired, I'm so damn angry with you
you're not gonna change
I see who you really are
your promises are all played out
you've got your wish
you've worn me down
I've treated you the best I could
I realize that I don't need you
your promises
your promises
your promises
they're all played out
you're so played out
you're so played out
you're so played out
they're all played out
It reminds me of all the things that he had promised me but like the song says they are all played out. Almost the whole song fits our relationship. It's like as soon he let for the University I just got lost. Like I didn't know how everything was going to work but I was taking everything one day at a time.
The other thing is that it just seemed that he wanted me to change, to be something that I'm not, to be the perfect person. It just seemed that he just didn't see that I couldn't be what he wanted me to be that I couldn't be the person that he wanted me to be. It's only been three days but it seems longer. They have been the worst three days of my life. It's been three days of wondering what the point of living is. It's been three days but feels like a life time.
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Author's note- I know it's repetitive in some places but I thought it would be perfect for this story. This is the first story that I have written so reviews would be nice. Any type of review is welcome as long as it is constructive. It lets me know what I need to work on if there is another story. Thanks for reading
Kait