The Epic of Gauntlet

Part 3

"I had the strangest feeling of déjà vu as I asked him what the definition of déjà vu was…"

By BobCat

With help and permission from Legend Maker.

Disclaimer: I might be working for DC some day, so they should see this as an enriching experience for the company.  And suing me would just drive me even further into Marvel's camp.  So there.

*********************

            When last we left our heroes, they had arrived with new recruit Gauntlet in tow, ready to halt the attack on the Museum of Natural History.  Much to their surprise, facing them now was the gigantic, oil based sludge monster that had fought them on Savior's first mission.  The Titans did not know what had driven the creature to attack the structure, but they were intent on stopping it.

            Robin sighed.  "Villains just don't have any pride in their work like the used to.  I mean, sure, there are only so many ways to make a sludge monster, but C'MON.  The same design TWICE?"

            Gauntlet, on the rooftop next to Robin, surveyed the situation.  "I faced something like this before back in Uberton.  Can I assume that physical attacks aren't going to work at all?"

            "Right." 

            "So, how'd you get it last time?  Fire?  Water?  Put it to sleep with an episode of Will and Grace?"

            Beast Boy, who had been an owl a moment before, landed next to the pair.  "You got it the first time.  So Rob, got a plan?"

            Robert stroked his chin thoughtfully.  "It looks like it's pretty slow, so if we circle around it, we should be able to keep it off guard for a while.  I'll get the ball rolling."

            Robin's eyes narrowed.  "He was actually talking to me.  We'll have to stop using that nickname.  Although that is a good framework… OK, be careful."  

            Gauntlet gave a devil-may-care grin.  "BANZAI!"  Leaping straight down, he landed on the monster's back.  Forming his field into a roughly sword-like shape, he leapt across the creature's flat head and slashed at the thing's eyes.  The monster's liquid skin slipped around Gauntlet's shoes, the force field preventing any poisoning or acid damage.

            Although it repaired the damage almost instantly, it cried out in pain, striking out.  Gauntlet managed to dodge the attack, but the slipstream from the massive limb threw him off balance.  "Yipe!"  He covered his face, feeling the worst.  Before he could hit the ground, he was surrounded by a black energy.  He opened his eyes.  "Why didn't I go splat?"

            "Because I don't want to have to explain to a judge why you went splat.  Be more careful!"  Raven let Gauntlet down, pausing only a moment before hurling a chunk of rubble at the sludge monster's face.  Another roar of pain, and it lumbered forward, almost crushing Cyborg underneath its tree trunk sized feet. 

            Using Gauntlet's impromptu plan, all seven Titans began circling the creature…

(Y'know, it's really getting hard to come up with good descriptive terms for the sludge monster, and noone wants to see me write "the Sludge Monster" over and over again.  So, the monster shall now be referred to as Mortimer.  The Author has spoken!) 

Anyway, the Titans circled about Mortimer, hitting it from all sides.  However, it healed all physical attacks launched against it, and even explosive attacks from Cyborg and Robin only destroyed a small portion of Mortimer's mass.  Mortimer cried out with an inhuman roar as a Starbolt blasted away a chunk of its torso.

Robert, tired from his exertions, called out, "Hey, um, you guys wanna make with the fire?  I'm getting' a little winded here." 

Savior, ducking under a punch from Mortimer, quipped, "I don't see a conveniently placed gas truck this time.  So, we improvise." 

Robert's eyes widened.  "What!?  A superhero fight and no gasoline tanker?  Then, then what's supposed to conveniently explode at the last minute!?"

Robin leapt up, avoiding a blast of sludge.  "Tell me about it.  Legend Maker's stories smacked of cliché at times, but at least she knew how the game was played." 

Gauntlet was about to respond, but he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.  Mortimer, seeing that one of his tormentors was down, responded quickly.  He lashed out with his right arm, slamming Gauntlet even further into the ground.  Then, Mortimer slurped Gauntlet through his body, expelling him out the back at high speed, right into the museum. 

As he flew away, Gauntlet cried out, "Hey, you stole that one from Mega Maaaaaan…" 

Starfire called after him, "Robert!" 

Robin whipped out the last of his explosive grenades.  "Star!  Victor!  Get the right leg!"  He let fly into Mortimer's leg, followed shortly after by a missile and a particularly large Starbolt.  The limb was blow in all directions, splattering goop all across the block.  Thrown terminally off balance, Mortimer fell to the ground, flowing all across the street.  Already, he was beginning to reform, but the Titans had bought themselves a few minutes.  Robin, realizing this, called a quick meeting.  "OK, we need fire and we need it now!" 

There was silence for a few moments.  Beast Boy ventured, "I have a lighter…"

            Raven ventured, "Once we beat this thing, we should look into recruiting someone with fire powers."

            "No, you don't need fire… you need a fire extinguisher."  Robert, having recovered from his flight, leapt out of the museum holding said item.  He looked a little worse for wear, but nothing too serious. 

            Savior sighed.  "This is why I didn't want to make him a member." 

            A hurt Gauntlet said dejectedly, "It worked in The Blob.  And it might work here.  DIE, MORTIMER!" 

            All Titans blinked in unison.  "Mortimer?" 

            "It just seemed like the right thing to call him."  He cut loose with the extinguisher, covering a section of Mortimer's back in white foam. 

            For just a moment, even the most doubtful Titans held there breathe, waiting to see if anything did happen. 

            It didn't. 

            Raven and Savior treated Robert to a double glare.  He cringed.  "What, I didn't see YOU coming up with any great ideas…"  Suddenly, he felt inspiration hit him.  "Hey, Beast Boy, I heard you say that you had a lighter, right?"  Gar nodded.  "Excellent… OK, step one."  He ran over to convertible and flipped it over.  "I think this is the gas tank… yeah, that looks right."  Forming the energy about him into a blade, he cut away the supports and housing, hauling out the sixteen gallon container of gas with his super strength.  He extended his force field to stop the flow of fuel. 

            Robin sighed.  "Look, it took a lot more than that to burn that sludge monster…"

            "Mortimer."

            "MORTIMER up last time.  What do you think you're doing?" 

            Robert tossed the tank over to Starfire.  "Fly over it, pouring out the gas.  Don't waste any of it."  A confused Starfire obeyed the order, pouring gas on the almost healed Mortimer.  It mixed with the foam, forming an ultra slick slurry.  "Now Gar, toss that lighter on it." 

            Savior rubbed his temples.  "This isn't going to work."

            ****************

            One very short and powerful burn later…

            Savior's jaw had dropped.  "I can't believe that worked.  How in the hell did THAT work!?

            Gauntlet smirked smugly.  He formed his energy field into a pipe and pretended to smoke it, adopting a snooty British accent.  "Simple, old bean.  The carbon dioxide from the extinguisher, when mixed with the high octane fuel that most men who are 'small' put in their over-compensatory vehicles, done burns good."

            "No!  It doesn't!  It's a basic fact of chemistry!  Carbon Dioxide is the end result of burning!  It doesn't burn!  That's why it's in fire extinguishers."

            Gauntlet chuckled.  "It does in a fanfiction based on a TV show based on a DC comic book.  Besides, most of the superhumans you've met were brought about by physically impossible chemical reactions.  In fact, I'd wager that your origin would make a college chemistry professor burst into tears.  So just deal with it."

            Savior grumbled, "I'm just glad that there isn't some kind of Physics Police out there, or else you'd be in REAL trouble." 

            Raven reproached her beaux.  "Just deal with it.  It worked, the monster is dead, we can get on with our lives."

            The others were having their own conversation as the sounds of police sirens closed in.  Starfire jumped happily.  "For joy!  We have vanquished Mortimer… again.  But still, our newest member provided the victory, so it is a happy day!"

            Robin nodded.  "I couldn't agree with you more Star."  Although he still couldn't be one hundred percent sure about Robert's loyalty or ulterior motives, he figured that he could forget Noel's warning for the time being. 

            Cyborg quipped, "Seems to me we shouldn't take on any new members.  Every time we do, we fight this thing."

            Beast Boy, turning into a pigeon, landed on Cyborg's shoulder.  "Hey guys, are we going to stand here all day or fly the coop?  'Cause I feel a hankerin' for a good old fashioned tofu pizza." 

            Cyborg started.  "What?  NO!  That stuff is NASTY!  We're goin' to Pizza Hut and getting actual CHEESE pizza!"

            "Tofu!"

            "Cheese!"

            "Tofu!"

            "Cheese!"

            "Tastes Good!"

            "Less Filling!" 

            Robert covered his eyes quickly.  "In case those two start mud wrestling, I don't want to be blinded.  Gauntlet AWAY!"  He jumped twenty feet straight up and began leaping from building to building. 

            Savior noted his passing.  "Don't you think we should follow him, considering he's here by court order?" 

            Raven shrugged.  "I doubt he can get into any real trouble.  Besides, he's heading back to the Tower." 

            Savior nodded.  "True.  It is a bit odd that he'd pass up free pizza."

            "Probably just lactose intolerant."

            **************

            Elsewhere…

            He was Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator.  With the exception of such rogue attackers as Jack Djinn and the Lord of the Night, the villains that the Titans had faced of late had all been influenced by him, making for a never ending parade of new enemies.  He knew that each experience increased their skill, but that was inevitable.  This way, he could directly gauge their progress.  He never really expected any of his plans to destroy them outright, but such were his machinations that every skirmish brought him closer to his final goal.

            That goal?  Godhood. 

            Not that he harbored illusions of becoming harnessing some mythological force, as those before him had.  In his years as a mercenary, he had seen over a dozen such plans fail miserably.  Always, ALWAYS, those insufferable Titans, or the Justice League, or even Marmot Man would intervene at the last moment and deny the receiver of his power.

            His path to power was far more down to earth in some ways, although it still had its complexities.  For instance, he had invested a fair portion of his wealth into archeological expeditions across the world, finding the ancient pieces to his puzzle.  When a rare piece was found, he immediately bought it or stole it, not wanting any of the supposed "big time" villains to catch wind of his plot.  He still accepted jobs from time to time, just to reinforce the image that he was a tired old man in semi-retirement, not a megalomaniac. 

            His most recent feign with Mortimer against the museum was a classic example.  Gauntlet's physics defying victory was no great feat.  Indeed, this time it had been designed to become more combustible and just give up the ghost once it had lost a quarter of his original mass, destroying anything that could link it to Slade.  Despite appearances, Mortimer had been very direct in his attack, hitting a small area of the museum.  By all appearances, the Hall of Mysteries exhibit, and everything within it, had been dissolved.  This could not be further from the truth. 

            Slade's man in the Titan's Tower had snuck in the heat of the battle to grab the most important relic, a stone tablet with seemingly unimportant marks upon it.  It was an oddity, over 50,000 years old, used as evidence that ancient peoples of the area had some form of mathematics or art or whatever some fringe researcher favored.  Many interpreted it as little more than a whetstone or some such nonsense. 

This trinket, whatever it was, was a major key to his godhood.  Once he found a way to activate it… he would make the Titans suffer for every defeat, every humiliation, every intrusion into his careful operations.  He would use his power to remake Robin's mind in his image, making him beg to be his heir this time (not that he would need one, as he would be immortal by that point).  Starfire and Raven would make fair concubines, as would any other woman whom he fancied.  As for the others, he would have them dissected to see if their mutations provided any interesting data.  And of course, their screams would give him no end of pleasure.

            Such was his future, and he truly enjoyed the prospect.

            Others in his line of work would have cackled madly at this point, perhaps even flowing straight into maniacal laughter.  Vain insults against their archrivals would have been uttered, followed by more laughter.

            Slade allowed himself no such luxury.  Those who embraced madness and self glorification never won in the end.  Until he had achieved his final goal, all time was to be used efficiently.  When he had eternity, then he would finally allow himself the pleasure. 

            He paused him ruminations, remembering the figure behind him.  Obscured by shadow, the young, spiky haired boy had put himself upon one knee before his master, head bowed, awaiting his next order.  He was scarcely visible other than his outline.  Slade smiled.  They shall never see it coming.  With this one hidden among them, I could slay them all at a whim.  But I believe I shall wait and torture them once my empire is begun.  After all, revenge is a dish best served from a position of omnipotence.   "You may return, boy.  You have been gone too long anyway.  It would not do to have you away for too long."

            The boy nodded voicelessly, smoothly creeping through a nearby window. 

            He chuckled, thinking of his plans for the Titans.

            Soon, they shall pine for the day when they only had to deal with nanobots and demi-gods.  What really makes me laugh is that they actually bought that Chronoton Detonator nonsense.  As though I could destroy time.  Such plots are for Saturday morning cartoons. 

            *************

            Robert tiptoed in quietly, removing his shoes in an effort not to awake his new teammates.  They must suspect nothing…  He carried a bag of groceries over his right shoulder, watching the darkness for any hint of movement. 

            He was caught off guard when Savior turned on the lights.  Robert cried out as he was momentarily blinded.  "Hey, you mind!?"

            "Where were you?"  Savior's voice was cold and hard, indicating his displeasure.

            "I was out.  I got some milk, since I noticed that we were out."

            "I would have accepted that explanation four hours ago.  It's after midnight.  Where were you?" 

            "I just picked up a slurpy, went to an arcade, got the lay of the land.  What's wrong with that?"

            "First off, you aren't a Titan.  Not in my mind, anyway.  I don't care what the courts say, you are no different than those we fight.  So, can this 'we' stuff.  It's us and you.  Second, you are a criminal.  You cannot be trusted.  Period.  So, from now on, you don't go alone.  Anywhere.  Understand?"

            Robert switched his main weapon into active mode, a layer of metal encasing his arm.  "I don't care much for your tone, Noel.  I kicked your ass once, you keep messing, I'll do it again."

            The Shimmer whipped violently into view, catching Gauntlet by surprise.  "You surprised me before.  Next time we fight, you're going down."

            "What is your problem!?"

            "My problem? 

            "I don't appreciate your tone.  And for your information, I've done my share of heroism.  Probably saved a hundred people!"

            "You save them and rob them blind.  It isn't heroism; it's extortion." 

            Robert stared down his opposition.  "I don't have time for this.  I'm heading to bed.  If I can sleep alone, that is."  As he spoke, his arm's metal converted back to flesh, indicating a cessation of hostilities.

            Savior withdrew his own weapon.  "Fine.  Just so you know where we stand." 

            "Fine."

            "Fine."

            "Fine!"  Before they could continue, Gauntlet walked past Savior, ignoring the angry glare the senior super hero gave him.  He wants an enemy?  Good!  Having everyone all lovey dovey would get boring real quick anyway! 

            ******************

End Part 3

            Next Time:

            The hazards of watching old musicals.