The Epic of Gauntlet

Part 4

"The Rain in Spain has taken the week off." 

By BobCat

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of the Teen Titans.  Especially the classic titans… original Aqualad and Wondergirl… WORST… CHARCTERS… EVER.

Oh, by the by.  Spot the Family Guy homage in the fic itself and win cool points, which are redeemable nowhere.

***************

            Gauntlet, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire were lazing on the couch in front of the TV.  The flickering screen was the only source of the light in the room, casting a ghostly pallor across those who lay in their limp, almost boneless positions.  They were utterly transfixed before the aging videotape of "My Fair Lady."

            Robert pointed at the screen.  "Y'know, this movie was based on my Great Great Great Grandmother, Elizabeth Candide.  She was a British lady who was suckered in by a fake linguistics professor and in a month he had transformed her accent into that of a flower saleswoman.  She was forced to flee to America under a storm of derision.  That's the main reason I'm not eating blood pudding right now.  And for that, I've always been grateful." 

            Before any objection could be raised, Robin turned on the light.  The classic members groaned, covering their eyes.  Gauntlet took it a step further, hissing as though the light burned. 

            Robin stepped between them and the TV.  "Alright, guys, TV time is over.  I'm heading to the mall, and I'm getting you off the couch before you take root." 

            Robert groaned.  "But Robin, I'm teaching Starfire proper Earth mannerisms.  Show 'im, Star." 

            "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain?" 

            Robin pointed at the door.  "MOVE!" 

            There was grumbling all about, except from Starfire, who muttered various cockney colloquialisms. 

            Beast Boy coughed into his hand.  "So, Tim, we going with the image inducers today?"

            "Shh!"  The Boy… er, Teen Wonder glanced about nervously.  "That's the term they use in X-Men Evolution.  Now what's the real name?"

            "Holo-pins?  Tim, that's about the lamest name ever."

            Robert shrugged.  "Hey, as the wise Confucius said, 'it is far better to tolerate one poor non copy written name than to incur the wrath of a thousand lawyers.'"

            Robin flapped his cape.  "And to answer your question, Gar, we're going in costume today.  It's good for the people to know that we're just normal guys most of the time." 

            Starfire scanned the room.  "Are Savior and Raven not coming along?"

            Robin shook his head.  "They asked for a day off, so I'm giving it to them."

            Robert felt a proverbial lightbulb go off above his head.  "Hey, can I have a day off?"

            "Did you do your homework?"

            Robert was confused.  "Homework?  What homework?  You didn't give me any homework, and we don't go to school…"

            "Then I'll take that as a no.  When will you learn to do your homework before the weekend?"  Robin sighed.  "I hate to do this, but… as a punishment, you're carrying everything we buy today." 

            Robert sulked.  "Oh, if you weren't dictator for life, I would SO impeach you, el presidente." 

            Starfire, ever ready to diffuse argument, queried, "So Robert, do you have a girlfriend back home?"

            Robert shook his head.  "Nah.  Never met the right person.  But hey, I'm just fifteen.  Plenty of time for stuff like that later."  For once, he looked embarrassed.  He quickly changed subject the only way he knew how.  "That reminds me of my Great Uncle Herbert Candide.  He was a military intelligence officer in world war two.  He was the one who deciphered the Japanese Military's code."

            *************

            A man who looked much like Robert was sitting in front of an old style radio console.  He suddenly perked up.  "My God!  They're speaking Pig Latin!"

            *************

            Robert sighed.  "He should have been a hero, but the military had taken years to figure that out.  So, they told him to keep quiet and made up a farcical code to make themselves look good." 

            There was silence all around.  Finally, Victor said, "Dude, you are so full of it."

            "You callin' me a liar?  'Cause I don't like being called a liar.  Is it so hard to believe that one of my relatives was involved in every major historical event?"

            "Honestly?  Yes."

            Robert shrugged.  "Fine.  Keep believing that propaganda.  You want some history, come to me." 

            More silence followed.  No one spoke as they left the tower, taking the most direct route to the Barry Allen memorial shopping center.  As they walked onto eight street, the awkwardness wa s interrupted by a voice from behind. 

            "So, Gauntlet!  You thought that you could hide from us, your most lethal foes, by running to Jump City?  Hah!  The Fearsome Four have come to destroy you and your little friends once and for all!"

            The Titans started at the sudden challenge, all save Gauntlet.  Gauntlet rubbed his temples.  "Oh God, not these guys again…"  As they turned around, the Titans saw what had to be the most ragtag group of villains ever. 

As they had promised, there were four of them.  The man in the center of their off-center V looked the most professional.  He was a man in his lower thirties of above average height, with the combination of goatee and angular moustache that screamed "evil."  He had piercing blue eyes and pale, white skin.  He had a lithe body that looked unused to harsh labor.  He was encased in intimidating looking sliver armor that covered his entire body.  The helmet, which left his face exposed, was shaped so that a viewer thought of a powerful bird of prey. 

The man to his right was slightly less intimidating.  Dressed in overalls, he was a fortyish man with a salt and pepper beard.  He wore a hard hat on his head, and had a sledgehammer held in his powerful hands.  He stood above the first man, but was not unusually tall.  It seemed as though every inch of his body was covered in tools of one kind or another. 

A giant of a man, easily eight feet tall, made up their entire right flank.  He was huge in every sense of the word, with a musculature that implied the ability to bench press a skyscraper.  He wore ridiculously small sun glasses that failed to obscure the blank stare through which he viewed the world.  He was dressed in an oversized trench coat, slacks and a sweater, the brown of the coat matching his hair. 

The final member of the group was also the only female member.  She had long, blonde hair, and was dressed in armor similar to the bird themed man, although the upper part of her face was covered, and her color scheme was golden.  Also, the overall theme of her armor seemed to suggest a Norse Valkyrie come to Earth.  At least, a Norse Valkyrie sporting missile launchers, laser cannons and machine guns from every surface.

Gauntlet stepped forward, muttering the whole way.  As he closed in with these aggressors, Robin cried out, "Wait!  Don't try to attack them alone!" 

Gauntlet laughed.  "Attack them alone?  Please!  Nothing I haven't done before!  These guys may look all impressive… well, two of them anyway.  Hey, I notice that the Welder is absent.  What, he finally gave up this whole bit?"

Bird-man shook his head.  "We got in trouble with Disney over their Fearsome Five from the old Darkwing Duck TV show, so we voted him off to avoid a lawsuit." 

Gauntlet waved his hand, indicating the group.  "See?  SEE!?  THESE are the lousy excuse for enemies I had back in Uberton.  You want an introduction?  They are, in order to importance, Doctor Nathaniel Peregrine, Handyman, The Brick and Cestus.  Believe me, we should be holding back a member or two just so that we don't make it look too easy." 

Starfire queried, "Who are they?"

Gauntlet checked with Peregrine.  "Should you, or should I?"

Peregrine thought for a moment.  "I think we'll handle our own intros this time.  Me first.  I, Doctor Nathaniel Peregrine, am the greatest physicist on the planet.  My theories and concepts are at least three generations ahead of the scientific community."

Cyborg started chuckling.  "No wait, wait.  Don't tell me.  They laughed at you and your ideas, but now you'll show them with your super technology."

Peregrine shook his head.  "Of course not!  That's just silly!  They LOVED my super technology.  I worked for a major research firm, but got fired for embezzling a few billion.  I swore… REVENGE!  So, I whipped up this armor over the weekend and some gravity based weapons linked to an advanced cybernetic neural hookup.  Y'know, in between episodes of M.A.S.H.  But Gauntlet thwarted my efforts.  Strapped for cash, I was forced to take a job at his high school as a physics teacher.  Handyman?"

"Well, I was the host of the major crafts TV show "Tool Talk," until one day I was cancelled to make room for a reality TV show.  And then I swore… REVENGE!  Using the fine, quality tools from such manufacturers as Bimford, who still sponsor me, I began a three month crime wave that only he was able to stop.  Brick?"

Brick cleared his throat.  "He beat me up and call me names.  Just because I'm different.  And I tried to kill him.  He also got my boss, the Don, arrested, so now I work for Bird Man.  So I tried to get… what's the word?  Oh, right, LEVERAGE!  That is all." 

Peregrine patted him on the head.  "Good boy, Brick.  Here, have this oversized Chinese finger trap."

"Yay!  Learning am fun!"

Cestus looked up from reading her magazine.  "I'm an intern from Metropolis State University.  All the other engineering jobs were taken, so Peregrine gave me the internship on the condition that I be willing to help him get revenge…"

Peregrine yelled, "No no NO!  Either say it right or don't say it at all!"

Cestus sighed.  "If I didn't need the credit… I'm helping him get REVENGE by testing his C.E.S.T.U.S armor for him.  I come along when he needs backup."

Doctor Peregrine, as the man was now identified, stepped forward, silver armor gleaming in the sun's rays.  "You might have triumphed over us before,"

Handyman moved in next to his leader.  "But now we've upgraded and trained!" 

The giant, the Brick, didn't understand the choreography, so he stayed in place.  He finally destroyed the finger trap that had thwarted him for nearly five minutes.  "Duh, Bird man sez that we should crush you and yer little friends.  So we will." 

Cestus rolled up her magazine and put it in a pocket in the armor.  "Yeah, destroy, vengeance, whatever.  Can we just get beaten?  I have a date tonight." 

Gauntlet shifted his weapon to active mode.  "GUYS!  Please!  Can you be just a LITTLE professional?  You're making me look bad in front of my new team!?" 

Too late.  Cyborg and Beast Boy started laughing. 

Robin put a halt to it quickly.  "Cut it out, you two.  Just because these guys seem lame doesn't mean that they aren't a threat.  So let's get 'em before someone gets hurt!" 

"RIGHT!"  With this united cry, the Titans leapt into action. 

The Fearsome Four, formerly the Fearsome Five, were much quicker to respond than any of them, least of all Gauntlet, had expected.  In the blink of an eye, Cestus activated boot mounted rockets, barreling into Starfire at high speeds.  The Tamaranian, caught off guard, took her fists right in the gut.  The two slammed through a brick wall and then out of sight. 

Robin almost paused to call out for her, but saw that Brick was already upon him.  Unlike his girlfriend, he managed to dodge the attack, rolling away.  Before he was even finished with the roll, he brought out his staff, blocking a thrown hammer from Handyman.  Beast Boy, turning into a tiger, leapt at the large man.  He, having focused on Robin for that crucial second, was unable to avoid the big cat, which sent him crashing to the ground. 

"Hey, here's a physics problem for yah!  If I shoot a thousand rounds a minute, each round going twenty meters per second, how long will it take you to bite it?"  Cyborg leveled his right arm at Peregrine, shifting it into an autocannon.  Spent shells made metallic clinking noises as they hit the ground, the growing pile a tribute to the sheer amount of ammunition being sent at the scientist. 

Peregrine smirked.  "Another fifty or so years, since I have a force field in this thing to rival Gauntlet's.  Since force fields are, by their nature, inefficient, I developed this one to solve that problem.  It puts up pinpoint microshields against any attack, saving a lot of energy.  Thank you for this chance to test its efficiency against such a barrage."  He pointed his own arm mounted weapon at Cyborg.  "However, as you are last year's model, I doubt you have any equivalent system."  He opened up, sending a hail of small disks at Cyborg.

Victor tensed up, expecting them to explode on impact.  Instead, they stuck to his arms and torso.  He tried to brush them off, but the stuck stubbornly.  "What the…"

"Thanks to my genius, I have devised a way to control the very force of gravity itself!  I have total control of gravitational attractions between these disks.  Thanks to my own cybernetics, twice as advanced as the tinker toys that make up your own body, I control this at a whim.  Do you see that car behind you?  Thanks to the disks on it, it won't be staying where it is for long."

The car and Cyborg were lifted into the air, and then began accelerating towards each other at terminal velocity.  "Ah shi-" He was interrupted in mid curse as he collided with said car.  The two fell to the ground, crumpling in a heap on the street below.

Robin couldn't spare a moment to check on his teammate as Handyman took a swing at him with his sledgehammer.  He barely managed to dodge out of the way before the business end slammed into the concrete, sending chunks of pavement in all directions.

Beast Boy, having changed into a falcon, was keeping Brick occupied by swooping in and gouging at his eyes.  Although Brick's tough skin was too tough to penetrate, he didn't seem to know that, as he devoted all of his attention to keeping Gar off his face. 

This provided Gauntlet with a very nice opening.  Focusing all of his energy into his right hand, he slammed Brick in the gut, making even the giant mass of muscle stumble.  "Hah!  What do you think of THAT, genius?" 

"Hah!  That didn't hurt me!  Nothing can hurt the Brick!"

Beast Boy, directly above Brick, quickly changed into a hippo, slamming him into the ground.  From beneath a very large Gar, Brick groaned, "I didn't know hippos could fly…"

Meanwhile, Cyborg managed to remove himself from the wreckage and, more than a little angry, fired a burst of sonic energy at Peregrine.  The doctor cried out in pain and stumbled as his inner ear was thrown off by the sound.  It ended as quickly as it started, but Peregrine had lost his initial cockiness.  "Chew on that, ya old fart!"

Peregrine grimaced.  "Old… fart?  I'm only 35!  For this insult, you shall suffer!"  He whipped out a pistol from a holster.  Despite its tiny size, the lightning bolt that emanated from it was taller than either combatant.  It struck Cyborg dead on, shorting out most of his systems in a moment. 

Peregrine chuckled.  "You choose your opponents poorly, Cyborg.  You would have fared far better against one who didn't know your limits.  Of course, my Zeus Cannon has only one shot, but it was put to its best use on you." 

"Just what I wanted to hear."  Much to Peregrine's shock, Cyborg, who should have been totally disabled by the blast, rose shakily to his feet.  With surprise on his side, even Victor's slow punch managed to connect before Peregrine's pinpoint shields, which relied on the good doctor's senses, could block it.  Peregrine took the blow to the side of the head.  Although the alloy held, his head hit the inside of his helmet.  He went down, even as Cyborg's overtaxed systems did the same.  "Dammit, looks like I'm gonna have ta bug Fixit again…"  With that, he slipped into oblivion.

Robin threw a pair of explosive disks at Handyman, having exhausted his supply of Birdarangs.  He worried about using such power against an unarmored man. His concerns were unfounded, as Handyman threw a pair of hammers with pinpoint accuracy into the disks, resulting in a large explosion. 

Handyman used the blast to his advantage, leaping through it, ready to bring his sledge hammer down upon Robin's head.  This time, Robin was unable to dodge out of the way. 

Fortunately, Gauntlet managed to intercept the attack, throwing Handyman off target.  Robert landed next to Gauntlet, bending his legs to dull the impact.  "You OK?"

Robin shook his head to clear it.  "You said these guys would be pushovers!"

Robert shrugged.  "They usually are.  They've been practicing or something.   I notice that Handyman's beer belly is smaller…"

A recovering Handyman cried out, "I DO NOT HAVE A BEER BELLY!"

Robert chuckled.  "Denial, anyone?"

The master of tools pulled out a pair of nail guns.  "Die, at the hand of the new Bimford Nail Master 3000™!"  A barrage of one inch nails lashed out, penetrating the concrete where the pair had been a moment before.  The pair had leapt up in almost perfect unison, leaping over a second salvo and planting their feet right in the man's face, knocking him backwards into a brick wall.

Robin cracked his knuckles.  "You have some good playmates."

"They didn't use to be."  He picked one of the dropped nail guns.  "He never had this kind of firepower before; the best he used to just have the throwing hammers and knockout chalk."  Robin's eyebrow rose.  "Don't ask.  Just… don't ask." 

"A little help over here!"  Beast Boy, despite his best efforts, was utterly outclassed by Brick.  Having taken the form of a python, he made the discovery that Brick could hold his breath for a very, very long time.  In the meantime, he had been pried from his spot and was being tied into a bowknot. 

Robert leveled the nail gun at Brick.  "Glad to help."

            Robin gasped.  "Wait!  You can't just KILL him!"  It was too late, as Robert had already pulled the trigger.  A spray of nails flashed from Brick's leg to his shoulder.  Through luck or design, Gar managed to avoid getting "nailed."  "What the hell are you thinking!?"

            Robert dropped the now empty weapon.  "Believe me, I've seen that guy survive the equivalent of a tactical nuclear blast before.  All THAT did was get his attention." 

            Brick saw red.  "You ripped my clothes!  I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF!" 

            Robin shuddered.  "There wasn't any sexual meaning there, right?"

            Robert matched Robin's shudder.  "When you have these thoughts, DON'T SHARE THEM.  This fight is going to be tough enough without worrying about touching him."

            Nearby, Cestus and Starfire were in an aerial battle royale.  Technology and surprise met natural skill and experience, balancing each other out nicely. 

            Cestus fired a pair of missiles from shoulder mounted launchers.  "Look, can you just give up or something?  I'm only getting three credits for this and I don't want to get bruised up before my date tonight."

            Starfire dodged between the rockets, which twisted in mid-flight to follower her path.  "If you do not wish to fight us, then why are you trying to kill me!?"

            Cestus took advantage of Star's frantic mid-air flight, opening up with a pair of machine guns mounted in her wrists.  Starfire scarcely managed to dodge the full barrage, but managed to put both missiles through the hail of depleted uranium, detonating both.  "Look, it's nothing personal.  I'm just doing my job."

            Starfire glowed a bright green color and fired a large starbolt that caught Cestus dead on.  "As you humans say, 'if you cannot stand the temperature increase, do not enter the food preparation area.'" 

            Cestus had crossed both arms in front of her face, protecting the only exposed part of her body from the blast.  "Great, a fair fight.  Those always take FOREVER." 

She blasted in close, catching Starfire across the jaw with a hard jab.  Starfire reeled from the blow, responding with a kick to the face that all but broke Cestus' nose.  She followed up the attack with a point blank starbolt that sent Cestus flying into the side of a building. 

As blood flowed freely from her nose, Cestus berated herself.  Already her voice was almost unintelligible.  "Da Doctah asked if ya wanted da force field.  Did ya say yez?  No, you wanded mo' guns.  And now you nose is bwoken.  Dat bitch is goin' down!"  Cestus opened up with every weapon in her arsenal, sending wave after wave of missiles, bullets and laser beams at a very surprised Starfire. 

Fortunately for Kory, she had knocked Cestus' targeting sensors off balance, so most of the barrage missed.  However, a bolt of energy burned into her upper right arm, stripping most of her skin off.  Then, a missile detonated close enough that the wounded Starfire was blown through a wall and onto the main street, in plain sight of the others.  She landed hard, and was obviously down for the count.

Cestus hadn't made that final attack without consequences, however.  Her suit suddenly became unbearably hot as waste heat from the weapon flooded her systems.  Where bare skin touched metal, she suffered her own burns.  Before the temperatures could detonate her remaining ammunition, a failsafe in the suit teleported her back to Peregrine's home base.  Even as the shockwave from the ammo explosion shattered windows for nearly a square block, Cestus found herself in the teleportation room.

However, she was in no shape for any date that night. 

So, it all came down to Gauntlet and Robin.  Brick literally couldn't lay a hand on them, as the pair bounced off of walls, lampposts or whatever handy surfaces presented themselves.  They bombarded him with whatever was available, from cars to explosive disks to mailboxes.  At one point, Gauntlet even managed to find a kitchen sink to whack him with. 

Robert and Robin fell back, panting from their exertions. 

Brick didn't look like he'd even noticed the attack. 

Robin, between breaths, said, "How in… the hell… did you beat this guy… alone?"

Robert responded in kind.  "He didn't use… to be… this strong.  I mean, sure, he was tougher than me, but believe me, that would have taken him down last time I saw him.  Wait a minute…"  Robert called out, "Hey, Brick!"

"Huh?"  The colossal moron looked up, confused as always. 

"What's two plus two?"

Brick mulled over the quandary for a moment.  "I don't know what you say." 

Gauntlet grit his teeth.  "Damn, I thought Peregrine was helping him with this!  He used to at least know what math was!"

Before Robin could him what he meant, Brick charged forward.  "Bird man said to crush you, so I'll crush you!" 

The two rolled in opposite directions, but Brick kept going down the street, unable to bleed away his momentum.  Stuck at his top speed, he kept running, hoping to find something to stop himself with.

Robin groaned as he got up.  "What was Peregrine doing?"

Robert sighed.  "I only knew Brick when he was like this, but his boss, a crime lord in my home town, told me about him.  He used to be a very brilliant man, but he had some kind of degenerative disease that was destroying his body from the inside out.  Science had no cure, so he devoted himself to finding said cure.  He finally found a treatment, some kind of steroid or other.  He had been given a month to live, so he tested it on himself.  He didn't think he had anything to lose.  Boy, was he wrong.  Everything was great for a year or so.  Then he finally noticed that he was still growing and he was losing his mental capacity.  But by then, it was too late.  Now, as time goes on, he gets dumber and dumber and stronger and stronger.  Peregrine said that he had a treatment that would help him, but it's obviously not working.  Eventually, I figure he'll just be a brain dead lump of muscle."

Robin rose to his feet, dusting himself off.  "That's just awful… for him AND us.  How do you ever beat him?"

"I usually just dodge until I figure out a way to trick him.  But now, I don't know if he's even smart enough to get tricked anymore."  Robert stretched himself out.  "So, what's the game plan?  Do we chase him or help the others?" 

Robin thought.  "You're the only one left standing who could survive a punch from him.  I'll call an ambulance and do some first aid, you pursue."

Robert blanched slightly, but found his resolve.  "OK… now, just because he's my enemy, no reason not to send any help my way, OK?"  Robin nodded, so Robert took off after Brick.

Brick, still unable to stop himself, rammed through building after building.  China shops, grocery stores, none were spared the wrath of his inertia.  Finally, he managed to bring himself to a halt outside of a movie theater.  "Whew, I didn't think I could stop." 

            "Hey stupid, look sharp!"  Robert called out from a block away, hoping to draw Brick into the middle of a four way intersection.  I have to keep him as far away from any civilians as possible, and this is all that's available. 

            Brick charged.  "I am not stupid!  I'm gonna crush you!" 

            Brick's fist swung down, smashing the concrete.  Robert leapt up, landing on Brick's arm.  Forming a gigantic shovel shaped implement with his energy, Robert smashed Brick's face as hard as he could.  Even with his newly increased strength, the giant was momentarily stunned by the blow.  Robert took advantage of this pause, knowing that it was more due to his surprise than any damage.  He leapt down, punching Brick as he went.  Using the force field to support himself, he hefted Brick over his head and threw him as hard as he could through a nearby wall. 

            He flew right into the movie theater that Gauntlet had vowed to keep him away from a moment before.

            Gauntlet smacked his forehead.  "BLAST MY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN!" 

            By some coincidence, i.e. cheap plot device, this was the same theater in which Raven and Noel were enjoying their day off.  Both were dressed casually, expecting nothing out of the ordinary.

            Brick's flight took the prospect of an ordinary day completely out of the running.

            Noel shook his fist at the sky.  "Damn you, BobCat!  Every time I try to enjoy a moment with my girlfriend, something interrupts me!  Well I'm sick of it!"

            Raven patted Noel's shoulder.  "Honey, arguing with the author is like debating via e-mail.  You can never win, and you'll suffer in the end.  Now, let's worry about this giant who landed in the middle of the theater lobby, OK?"

            Noel sighed.  "And I was so looking forward to (insert name of current popular movie here.)" 

            "Nice attempt at making sure this fic stays timeless."

            "Thanks." 

            Brick stumbled to his feet.  His addled brain tried to take in his new surroundings.  "Huh?"  It failed miserably.  "OK, good guys coming… what did Bird Man say?"

            *******************

            Right before the battle…

            "Now, you malodorous buffoon, listen up and listen good.  If you start getting beaten, you must take for yourself a hostage.  This will make it so that the hero has to do whatever you want.  OK?"

            "OK, Bird Man."

            *******************

            Brick scratched his head.  "Something about sausage… oh yeah!  HEY!  I'M TAKING A SAUSAGE!  WHO WANTS TO BE MY SAUSAGE!?"

            Everyone's initial response was the scatter, leaving Raven and Noel alone in the lobby with Brick. 

            Brick walked forward.  "Alright sausages, hold still."

            Noel, being in his normal form, wondered whether or not he could risk transforming in front of this behemoth.  "Hey Raven, you willing to take a risk?"  She nodded.  "Hey, you!"

            "Who, me?"

            "I don't see anyone else here.  Now, I'm not here."

            Brick was now very confused.  "What?  But I see you…"

            "No, you don't."

            "OK."

            In a flash of light, Noel, mild mannered teenager, was replaced by Savior, protector of truth, justice and constant angst. 

            Brick blinked.  "Hey, that guy turned into you!"

            Savior shook his head.  "No, he ran that way."  He pointed to his right.  "Then I ran here.  See?"

            Brick was more confused than ever, but he decided to accept the story.  "OK."

            Suddenly, like a thousand angry vines, the Shimmer lashed out from Savior's arm.  The multitude of strands, each one less than a centimeter around, probed quickly, looking for anything that could be used as a projectile.  Anything from overpriced candy to the popcorn machine was grabbed, hoisted and thrown in a moment.  As soon as the strand (or strands, as some items needed multiple Shimmers to lift it) was relieved of its burden, it sought out another missile.  A hail of theatre detritus pelted a surprised Brick.  Although he suffered no damage, he stumbled backwards, covering his face.

            Raven surrounded herself with a field of black energy.  "Don't use up ALL the ammunition.  Azurath Metrion Zinthos!"  Several aging arcade machines in the lobby lifted up simultaneously and were hurled at Brick far more energetically than Savior's barrage. 

            Brick, already knocked off balance, took the heavy machines to the face.  He was knocked off hit feet and out through the same wall that he had exited. 

            "No fear, citizens, I'm here to YIPE!!!"  Gauntlet had finally arrived on scene, only to have Brick fly right at him.  With superhuman speed, he ducked down and took the blow to his shoulders.  He strained under the weight and impact, but succeeded in flipping Brick into the middle of the street again.  By now, all vehicles had either fled the scene or were abandoned.  Brick slammed into a sports car and quickly became embedded in the vehicle. 

            Savior quickly treated a panting Gauntlet to a world class glare.  "Somehow, I know this is your fault."

            Robert shrugged.  "Not my fault some of my old dancing partners decided to show up.  This guy's Brick.  Hard as a brick, strong as a brick, dumb as a brick.  And believe me, he's going to get back up any second now."

            Brick fulfilled Gauntlet's prediction, charging the trio of heroes.  "RRRRRRRRRAGH!" 

            Savior and Raven quickly dodged out of the way.  Robert took a much more direct approach.  He leapt straight at Brick, landing on his back.  His force field took the shape of dozens of strands of energy, much like Savior's maneuver a few minutes before.  Now firmly attached to Brick, he leapt down, landing on all fours on the street.  He extended more of his field downward, between the molecules of the concrete itself, quickly rooting him to the spot. 

            Brick was clotheslined by the energy and fell on his back.  In seconds, he was getting back on his feet. 

            Gauntlet panted hard as the ever present yellow glow of his force field flickered out.  So many simultaneous manipulations of his energy always exhausted him.  He gave the other Titans a sideways glance.  "OK, that was my plan, what's yours?" 

            Raven lifted a mailbox and let fly, buying them a few more seconds.  "We obviously can't keep him off balance forever.  We've barely been at this a minute, but we all look wasted."  She followed up with a Buick.  It landed on top of him with a satisfying crunch. 

            Robert said, "In the past, I've always managed to mess with his head until whoever is pulling his strings decided to call it quits.  This time, Cyborg took out his boss, so he's going to keep following the order to crush me until I'm paste." 

            Savior thought quickly.  "I have an idea.  You two keep him busy.  I need to time this perfectly."

            Robert chuckled slightly.  With a thought, the yellow screen slipped back up, taking the form of a gigantic mallet.  "Time for round… two?  Three?  OK, I lost count.  But it's gonna be the last one!  BRICK NO BAKA!" 

With that, he leapt twenty feet, swinging his instrument of doom with all the force he could muster.  It caught Brick in the gut, forcing him to take a few steps back. 

Gauntlet attempted to dodge out of the way of Brick's counterattack, but with his fatigue from the long fight he was too slow.  Brick's massive hand wrapped around his ankle with room to spare.  Taking advantage of Robert's momentum, Brick slammed his adversary face first into the concrete.  Gauntlet lost consciousness immediately. 

Brick lifted both hands up above his head.  "Now Brick crush you, Gauntlet!"

Suddenly, a strand of white flew out, embedding itself in Brick's ear.  Brick jerked for a few moments, and then fell to the ground. 

Raven floated down.  "Cut it close much?" 

Savior shrugged.  "Had to keep him busy.  His mind's slow enough that I wanted some extra time to knock him out.  Not my fault the rookie tackled him head on.  But his death shall be avenged."

Robert muttered, "I'm not dead yet…"

Raven stomped his head into the concrete.  "No Monty Python!  Fanfic authors have been relying on their gags for too long!"

Savior commented, "So what, now we go to the old standby of fourth wall breaking?  THAT'S original." 

Robert moaned, "Can we just end this chapter already?  Good beat evil, the police will be here soon, and my bones need time to knit."

End Part 4

"Thank you."

Next Time: Thunder and Lightning return!

Robert: Could their names BE any less original?

(Lightning blasts him)

Lightning: Could you BE any crispier?

Robert: Tou…ché…

There you can find a pic of Gauntlet, drawn by yours truly.