Chapter 4

The next week was even busier for her. She spent a couple of hours a day with Sam and Teal'c in the gym learning self defense. Then she'd spend a few more hours in study. And there was always Baram. She thought that without him she really might have fallen apart. He kept her focused, grounded, and gave her a purpose for her new life. He was growing so quickly that he no longer could wear the clothes he came to Earth in. Sam, Janet, and Janet's daughter, Cassie (future babysitter!), had taken her to an Earth store – there were no stores on her planet, nature supplied the raw material and you made everything– WalMart. She had been so overwhelmed at first that she had hyperventilated and Dr. Frasier had almost made them leave. But she'd pulled it together and they'd all had a wonderful time shopping for both her and Baram. She'd bought several long skirts and blouses for herself. She'd also discovered the yardage department and purchased enough material to make several dresses in her native style. No sewing machine though, she'd been sewing by hand since she was five years old – who needed a machine for something so simple?

Daniel made himself available for a couple of hours a day to serve as her tutor. He'd come to her quarters so that he could play with the baby while she worked. (Raphaella thought teaching her was just an excuse for Daniel to play with Baram.) He was encouraging the baby to get up on his hands and knees and crawl. Each time Baram would have a minor success, Daniel would clap and cheer him on, while Baram would beam back at Daniel. The baby had bonded to her, but he lit up whenever he saw Daniel. Daniel reminded her of her lost cousin and how he had loved playing with his son, how much he had missed in Baram's life. Once Daniel had caught her sad look and come over to kneel down beside her chair and wrap her in his arms while she cried – again. She was beginning to think she might never stop crying. He never said anything to her when she was in one of those moods. He'd just hug her and when she could smile again he'd give her a quick squeeze, kiss her on the top of her head like you would a child, and return to play with Baram.

Toward the end of that week Jack invited the team, Janet, Cassie, Raphaella, and Baram over to his place for a barbecue. She never realized you had to have a party to cook outside. To her that was normal. Daniel picked up Teal'c, Raphaella and Baram at the base and took them to Jack's place. This would be the first time she'd ever been in an Earth home. After they entered, Teal'c headed out to the backyard and Daniel gave her a tour of Jack's place. She was amazed that one person could possibly use so much room. She was used to whole families in a tent about the size of his bedroom. It must take a lot of time to keep everything clean. When did Jack find the time to work?

They finally found their way outside to join the rest of the group. Cassie made a beeline for the baby and snatched him away, cooing and tickling him. Raphaella found it very comforting to know that Cassie had been adopted from off world and seemed to have become a happy, well-adjusted young woman. Of course, she was sure Janet had a lot to do with that. Daniel found a chair for her and wondered off to find something to drink. Raphaella sat and watched the group interact with each other. She realized that this was much the same way her family and friends had been when they were together – comfortable enough with each other to be silly and to allow each person to be himself. Daniel returned, bringing her a cold bottle of beer. She sipped it and found it much like a drink on her native world. She nodded her approval to Daniel who dropped into a chair next to her.

"Daniel, you don't need to sit with me. I'm quite content to watch the others. I'm learning much from them."

"And I'm quite content to sit by you." Daniel settled comfortably in the deck chair.

"Is Jack always the center of the action? I have noticed that everyone seems to turn to him for everything."

"Yeah. I guess he is at the core of SG1. I can't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend, even though he can be rather obnoxious sometimes. He doesn't like to show how smart he is or how much he cares about people, so he puts up a front of ignorance and toughness. But he'll do anything for someone he cares about."

"Teal'c seems to be content to be on the side. Does he not have family?"

"He has a son who fights for the freedom of the Jaffa, but his wife died several years ago. He does have a 'girlfriend' on another planet and they're able to be together every few months." Daniel sipped his beer slowly.

"I have sensed his loneliness. I wish there was something I could do to help him."

Daniel reached over and gave her hand a comforting squeeze and brought it to his lips to kiss her fingers. Raphaella's surprise was evident in her widened eyes. Daniel didn't look at her, but kept hold of her hand and gently rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. Through the touch Raphaella knew how much Daniel was drawn to her, but she was both excited and made uncomfortable by the intimate touch.

"Daniel, I know from watching your TV that such matters of sexual intimacy are commonplace, but I am not comfortable with this (she raised the hand Daniel had grasped). You also have forgotten that I can read your thoughts when we touch."

Daniel's quick release of her hand confirmed that he had forgotten her ability. He turned toward her. "Could we go into the living room where we can talk without the others listening in?"

Raphaella followed Daniel into Jack's living room and Daniel took a chair while Raphaella settled on the couch. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped, head down, and began speaking, not able to look at her.

"I know we've only known each other for a month and I know you've just been through about the biggest change that could happen in someone's life. I have no intention of pushing you toward something you may not want or aren't ready for, but I want you to be aware of my feelings for you. I'm strongly attracted to you and not just physically, although I won't deny that's an important part of it," at this point Daniel looked up with a half grin, "but I've watched you as you have had to learn how to become a mother while you're learning a whole new cultural system. I've developed a tremendous respect for you, Raphaella. You're warm, giving, and show your concern for other people no matter how you feel. I think you've made it look so easy that the rest of us forget how hard what you're doing is. I've seen you with Baram and know what sacrifices you're making to provide him with a loving, stable home. I admire and respect you. I also think, that when you're ready, we could have a future together as a family; you, me, and Baram. I'm not asking for anything from you now, you've got way too much to deal with as it is, but I want you to know how I feel and where I'd like a relationship between us to go."

Raphaella was stunned. No one had ever expressed such feelings for her before and she wasn't sure what do. She liked Daniel very much and maybe she could come to love him, but he was right about not being ready to commit to anyone right now. The whole time Daniel had been speaking she had been looking at her hands folded in her lap. Now she lifted her head to find Daniel looking at her with those understanding blue eyes. His eyes fascinated her. They were so transparent. She didn't need to use her abilities to read his emotions or thoughts: everything was in his eyes for all to see.

"Daniel, I didn't tell you everything about my ability to read people's minds. I can also send my emotions to those I touch. It is sometimes more efficient than words. With your permission, I would like you to know what I'm feeling right now."

Daniel continued to watch her for a few seconds and then moved onto the couch next to her. He put one arm around her to pull her head onto his shoulder and took her hand with his other hand. "Raphaella, I want you to know you can read my emotions and feelings as well. If we have any chance of a permanent relationship then there must not be any secrets between us from the start."

She tightened her grip on his hand and leaned further onto him as she opened her mind to a two-way flow of emotions. Daniel's were simple and clear; concern, caring, warmth, desire, sincerity, insecurity, and uncertainty about her feelings for him. She knew he had spoken the truth to her and her trust in him grew. She reached a little further into his mind to send her emotions to him. When he began feeling her emotions his grip on her hand tightened and he closed his eyes to "listen." He felt her sense of loss, love for Baram, growing friendship with Sam, morning for her father, friends, family and life. She sorted out her general emotions and let him see what she felt for him. He sensed trust, concern, caring and the beginnings of physical attraction.

"Daniel, I don't need to read your thoughts. I have learned much about you from your emotions and I'm not ready to go any deeper yet. You must understand that reading thoughts is very intimate and usually only done between parents and children or between life-mates. I would prefer to wait until we are sure we are going to be mated before I do that." Raphaella thought about what she was going to say next and decided to continue. "You know, I've been told that sex between two people who are mind-linked is incredible." She gave Daniel a shy grin, looking up to see him blush and audibly gulp.

"Whoa! OK, with that image in my mind I'll never get any work done."

They were both sitting with silly grins on their faces when Jack came in to announce that the steaks were done. As they got up to go back outside Jack pulled Daniel off to one side. "Are you sure you know what you're getting into? She's not exactly stable right now and I'd really hate to see you hurt again if you're just temporary for her."

"Jack, there are no guarantees. I thought I had found my life's partner in Sha're, but that didn't happen. You have to risk being hurt before you receive love. She isn't ready yet, but the potential is there and I just wanted her to be clear about my interest. She's interested, but not yet – so we wait. I'm good at waiting."

"OK Daniel, I just want you to be happy and if she can do that, then I'm glad. Now, let's go be men and eat meat!" Jack clapped Daniel on the back and they headed out to join their friends.

TBC

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