Disclaimer: Sigh none of the guys, and gals that belong to these two
television series, belong to me.
Summary: see chapter #1
A.N.: C.OS: Change of Scenery
""= Dialogue ''= thoughts
Chapter #16: Guilt
The sinister voice faded into silence, as Angel flashed back to that fateful night. He remembered the blinding hunger, to be sated only by the taste of fresh human blood. He recalled the moment the house burst into flames, the smell of fear, making the blood taste extra sweet. That when he was at his worst, inflicting pain on everyone he came in contact with, all the while, taking great pleasure in it. And now that night it seemed was coming back to haunt him. He led his team into the hotel, his shoulders hunched, and eyes cast downwards. The remainder of the group gathered around him, awaiting news. There was a hushed silence. Angel finally broke it:
"I'm not proud of what I did that night. I realize it was wrong of me to kill like that. Hearing Holtz's voice tonight brought back the sting of memory." Angel paused looking every one of his listeners in the eye, as a host of questions met his gaze.
"I killed his family, and now he's back to kill mine. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." Angel answered.
"So, you're saying that you killed this guy's family what 200 years ago, and somehow he's still alive enough to come after yours? " Xander asked incredulously making the sign for crazy and pointing at Angel.
"There is a spell that could explain it." Willow suggested.
"He could also be a demon. A morph of some sort." This suggestion came from Wesley.
"P-perhaps a Holtz from another dimension?" Fred suggested.
"So we have some options, we need to research them, tomorrow. Tonight we rest." Angel decided, feeling suddenly weary. Angel turned his back as the group disbanded, each going either to their rooms, or getting started on the inevitable research. Lorne stayed, standing still for the longest time. Finally noticing his presence Angel slowly turned.
"Angelcakes, all I can see is guilt around you. You may as well have a neon sign saying: Guilty, with an arrow pointing to your head. What gives?" Lorne asked.
"I killed his family Lorne. I knew exactly what I was doing, as I tortured them one by one, hearing the sweet sound of their screams, as I revelled in the delight of it all. And then, finally when I couldn't stand it any longer, when the hunger would not abate, I bit into them, drinking every last drop of their blood. I drank in their essence, their spirit, and memories. And I enjoyed every second of the process. There was but one problem. As I kept feeding, I kept feeling, remembering their memories, the daughter being pushed on the swing by her father, the wife being held close at night I began to see Holtz in a different light. So by the end of that fateful night, I for the very first time in my life I felt guilty. I was unable to look him in the eye as he cried over the deaths of his family, or even through the tears as he vowed vengeance upon those that perpetrated this grievous wrong against him. You know what else? I still feel guilty." Angel finished. There was a long silence, as Lorne considered carefully what to say.
"Angel. Let the past go. It's over, it's done, and you regret it. Don't brood. Concentrate on how he still could be alive, where he could be, and how to protect these friends of yours. " Lorne told him.
"Easier said than done Lorne." Angel said.
COS: Cordy's room.
She walked over to the crib and gazed at Connor. He was exactly like his dad in every way. It should make her sad, as she fully realized what could have, and indeed what should have been but it didn't. She reached into the bassinet to pick him up: "Well hello little one, it's been a long time since we've seen each other." She said looking into his smiling face. She put him down just as quickly as she felt the familiar tingle that came with a vision. Just as she set him down in the bassinet she was bombarded with images.
She saw a gnarled hand around somebody's throat, and began to choke, as she became the person. She gazed into blue eyes that held just a glint of madness. She noticed the face was old, and weathered, and guessed his age to be approximately between 60, and 70 years of age. His strength however, by the way he was holding his victim was that of a man more than half his age. The image changed. She was standing outside in a cemetery, beside a gravestone. She gazed around her, to find that they were all there: Buffy, Angel, Spike, Willow, Dawn, Gunn, Fred, and Xander. Buffy suddenly turned, and attacked Angel, stake in hand. Angel fended her off quite successfully. The image changed again, to the man, suddenly looking very old and vulnerable. He was saying something to Angel and the group. Then, they were all back at the hotel, a feeling of contentment washing over the group.
"Cordelia, Cordelia wake up. Come on, wake up." Wesley urged her, as he cradled her head tenderly in his hands.
"mhmmmm" Cordelia groaned as she became aware she was lying on the carpet beside the bassinet. Her vision cleared enough for her to notice Wesley hovering above her.
"What happened, how'd you get in?" Cordelia asked him, recalling that Angel had him placed in a room close to his so he could keep an eye on him.
"I heard a thud from my room, so I came to see if you were alright. And Connor here, began to cry." Wesley explained, still worried.
"And I have this splitting headache because. Oh yeah a vision. Cordy answered her own question." Wes put a hand out to help her up, which she gladly accepted. He got her settled on the bed.
"Do you have anything to take for your headaches? Tylenol, Ibuprofen?" Wes asked concernedly.
"In the bathroom." Cordy answered, allowing herself to be fussed over. Wes returned moments later with a glass of water, and two Ibuprofens. Cordy gratefully took it. He fluffed up her pillows, and she lay back with a sigh approaching contentment. She half-closed her eyes. After a few minutes, Wesley rose to leave.
"No, don't leave. It's nice having you here. Like old times before, when you used to comfort me after I had a vision." Cordy told him softly. Wes impulsively took up her hand, and tenderly kissed it.
"I missed that." Cordy quietly responded to him.
"So tell me, what have you been doing since you left?" Cordy asked.
"Odd jobs mostly. I wasn't really able to settle anywhere." Wesley vaguely answered, letting his gaze drift off into the distance, and a feeling of guilt to overtake him. There was silence between them. Wesley reached and fluffed her pillows. He moved a second time to leave but Cordy stopped him.
"Don't go yet, not 'til I'm asleep." Cordy pleaded. In response Wesley got comfortable fluffing up the pillows on the other side of the bed. He leaned against them, and they sat together in companionable silence. Cordy moved closer to him and settled her head on his shoulder. She was asleep moments later. He glanced down in surprise at her sleeping form, and placed a little kiss on the top of her head. Not wanting this moment to end, Wesley settled back relaxed, and contented to watch his Cordelia sleep.
Well that's it for another chapter. Let me know how you liked it.
Peace out, and happy reading
A.B.
Summary: see chapter #1
A.N.: C.OS: Change of Scenery
""= Dialogue ''= thoughts
Chapter #16: Guilt
The sinister voice faded into silence, as Angel flashed back to that fateful night. He remembered the blinding hunger, to be sated only by the taste of fresh human blood. He recalled the moment the house burst into flames, the smell of fear, making the blood taste extra sweet. That when he was at his worst, inflicting pain on everyone he came in contact with, all the while, taking great pleasure in it. And now that night it seemed was coming back to haunt him. He led his team into the hotel, his shoulders hunched, and eyes cast downwards. The remainder of the group gathered around him, awaiting news. There was a hushed silence. Angel finally broke it:
"I'm not proud of what I did that night. I realize it was wrong of me to kill like that. Hearing Holtz's voice tonight brought back the sting of memory." Angel paused looking every one of his listeners in the eye, as a host of questions met his gaze.
"I killed his family, and now he's back to kill mine. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." Angel answered.
"So, you're saying that you killed this guy's family what 200 years ago, and somehow he's still alive enough to come after yours? " Xander asked incredulously making the sign for crazy and pointing at Angel.
"There is a spell that could explain it." Willow suggested.
"He could also be a demon. A morph of some sort." This suggestion came from Wesley.
"P-perhaps a Holtz from another dimension?" Fred suggested.
"So we have some options, we need to research them, tomorrow. Tonight we rest." Angel decided, feeling suddenly weary. Angel turned his back as the group disbanded, each going either to their rooms, or getting started on the inevitable research. Lorne stayed, standing still for the longest time. Finally noticing his presence Angel slowly turned.
"Angelcakes, all I can see is guilt around you. You may as well have a neon sign saying: Guilty, with an arrow pointing to your head. What gives?" Lorne asked.
"I killed his family Lorne. I knew exactly what I was doing, as I tortured them one by one, hearing the sweet sound of their screams, as I revelled in the delight of it all. And then, finally when I couldn't stand it any longer, when the hunger would not abate, I bit into them, drinking every last drop of their blood. I drank in their essence, their spirit, and memories. And I enjoyed every second of the process. There was but one problem. As I kept feeding, I kept feeling, remembering their memories, the daughter being pushed on the swing by her father, the wife being held close at night I began to see Holtz in a different light. So by the end of that fateful night, I for the very first time in my life I felt guilty. I was unable to look him in the eye as he cried over the deaths of his family, or even through the tears as he vowed vengeance upon those that perpetrated this grievous wrong against him. You know what else? I still feel guilty." Angel finished. There was a long silence, as Lorne considered carefully what to say.
"Angel. Let the past go. It's over, it's done, and you regret it. Don't brood. Concentrate on how he still could be alive, where he could be, and how to protect these friends of yours. " Lorne told him.
"Easier said than done Lorne." Angel said.
COS: Cordy's room.
She walked over to the crib and gazed at Connor. He was exactly like his dad in every way. It should make her sad, as she fully realized what could have, and indeed what should have been but it didn't. She reached into the bassinet to pick him up: "Well hello little one, it's been a long time since we've seen each other." She said looking into his smiling face. She put him down just as quickly as she felt the familiar tingle that came with a vision. Just as she set him down in the bassinet she was bombarded with images.
She saw a gnarled hand around somebody's throat, and began to choke, as she became the person. She gazed into blue eyes that held just a glint of madness. She noticed the face was old, and weathered, and guessed his age to be approximately between 60, and 70 years of age. His strength however, by the way he was holding his victim was that of a man more than half his age. The image changed. She was standing outside in a cemetery, beside a gravestone. She gazed around her, to find that they were all there: Buffy, Angel, Spike, Willow, Dawn, Gunn, Fred, and Xander. Buffy suddenly turned, and attacked Angel, stake in hand. Angel fended her off quite successfully. The image changed again, to the man, suddenly looking very old and vulnerable. He was saying something to Angel and the group. Then, they were all back at the hotel, a feeling of contentment washing over the group.
"Cordelia, Cordelia wake up. Come on, wake up." Wesley urged her, as he cradled her head tenderly in his hands.
"mhmmmm" Cordelia groaned as she became aware she was lying on the carpet beside the bassinet. Her vision cleared enough for her to notice Wesley hovering above her.
"What happened, how'd you get in?" Cordelia asked him, recalling that Angel had him placed in a room close to his so he could keep an eye on him.
"I heard a thud from my room, so I came to see if you were alright. And Connor here, began to cry." Wesley explained, still worried.
"And I have this splitting headache because. Oh yeah a vision. Cordy answered her own question." Wes put a hand out to help her up, which she gladly accepted. He got her settled on the bed.
"Do you have anything to take for your headaches? Tylenol, Ibuprofen?" Wes asked concernedly.
"In the bathroom." Cordy answered, allowing herself to be fussed over. Wes returned moments later with a glass of water, and two Ibuprofens. Cordy gratefully took it. He fluffed up her pillows, and she lay back with a sigh approaching contentment. She half-closed her eyes. After a few minutes, Wesley rose to leave.
"No, don't leave. It's nice having you here. Like old times before, when you used to comfort me after I had a vision." Cordy told him softly. Wes impulsively took up her hand, and tenderly kissed it.
"I missed that." Cordy quietly responded to him.
"So tell me, what have you been doing since you left?" Cordy asked.
"Odd jobs mostly. I wasn't really able to settle anywhere." Wesley vaguely answered, letting his gaze drift off into the distance, and a feeling of guilt to overtake him. There was silence between them. Wesley reached and fluffed her pillows. He moved a second time to leave but Cordy stopped him.
"Don't go yet, not 'til I'm asleep." Cordy pleaded. In response Wesley got comfortable fluffing up the pillows on the other side of the bed. He leaned against them, and they sat together in companionable silence. Cordy moved closer to him and settled her head on his shoulder. She was asleep moments later. He glanced down in surprise at her sleeping form, and placed a little kiss on the top of her head. Not wanting this moment to end, Wesley settled back relaxed, and contented to watch his Cordelia sleep.
Well that's it for another chapter. Let me know how you liked it.
Peace out, and happy reading
A.B.