Chapter 13

The next morning, Daniel decided to take Jack's advice and speak to Janet. Maybe there's a pill I could take.

He found her, in her office writing up reports on yesterday's patients. He knocked on the doorframe and waited until she looked up.

"You OK, Daniel?"

"Yeah. No. Can I talk to you, Janet?"

"Of course. Come in." Janet pointed across her desk to a chair.

Daniel came in and slumped into the chair. He brought one foot up to rest on his other knee, put his elbows on the arm of the chair, removed his glasses and began rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Janet sat up a little straighter. This is a man who's defeated. Daniel never gives up. Something's really wrong here.

"Janet, I think I'm losing my mind. I'm hearing voices. I can't think. I have no appetite. When I sleep, I'm awakened by dreams – some good, most terrible."

"When did all this start?"

"After I came back the last time from Heb'ra. You know, the mel'c incident."

"Yes, I remember. We almost lost you – again." Janet leaned forward, placing her clasped hands on her desk. "I know you've been having a rough time since then. Maybe the healing Raphaella did wasn't complete. Maybe you need to let her try again."

"That's what scares me, Janet. If I let her into my head again, then I'll have no secrets from her. Every time I let myself get close to someone, they leave me. I couldn't go through that again. I'd die." Daniel rubbed the back of his hand across his forehead, head still down, not looking Janet in the eye.

"Daniel, you have to take a risk. You can't keep going on like you are. Let her help you."

Daniel sat up straight, feet flat on the floor, and put his glasses back on – clearly getting ready to leave. "Thanks, Janet. I'll think about it."

Janet stood up, went around the desk and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Don't keep thinking. You do too much of that. Let yourself feel."

Daniel patted her hand, stood, and left the room.

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Raphaella didn't sleep that night. The temperature had dropped and she felt as though she was trying to sleep in a Tau'ri refrigerator. She curled herself into a tiny ball in a corner of the hut, but it didn't help. Shortly after the sun came up, one of the kimono dressed women brought her a small bowl of rice and a fresh jug of water. Bowing politely, the woman gathered the dirty bowl and empty water jug from yesterday. Raphaella sensed the pity coming from the small woman and began to wonder what was in store for her that day.

My baby! I wonder if he's missing me. I've never been away from him this long before. Raphaella began pacing the small room, frustrated with her lack of ability to help herself. She wondered what happened to her other team members. Were they safe? Had they gotten away? If they had, why hadn't they rescued her?

This was getting her nowhere. She needed something to do or she'd go crazy. Might as well try digging out. Where should I start? Under the chamber pot so the guards won't see the hole. What should I do with the dirt? I can scatter a lot of it around the dirt floor and maybe shove some through the cracks in the wooden walls.

Raphaella spent the morning digging in the hard dirt floor with her fingers and spreading the loose dirt around the room. Sometime around noon, the guards entered her hut and dragged her off to the temple building again.

This time she was taken to a small room on the bottom floor. It appeared to be a communal bathing room. There were several naked men and women together in a large hot tub, enjoying the casual social interaction. She was taken to a corner of the room, stripped of her clothing, and scrubbed with soapy cloths from head to foot. When they felt she was clean enough, a bucket of clean water was poured over her, washing off the soap and dirt. She was then led to the communal tub and directed to enter.

During this whole experience, Raphaella tried to distance herself from her body. On her world women were never seen outside their own tents without their head coverings, and now she was completely naked in front of a dozen strangers.

After a while, she was hauled out and dressed in a kimono. Her hair was put up on her head in the style common to the women. She was given some wooden sandals and taken upstairs.

Daimyo was waiting on his throne. She was taken to his side and shoved down to sit where she had the night before. Without looking at her, Daimyo instructed her to listen as she had before and tell him what the person before him was feeling.

She watched as a beautiful young woman was brought in. She was pushed to the ground, flat on her face. Daimyo proceeded to question her – again in a language Raphaella didn't understand – and she would occasionally answer. Daimyo became more and more agitated, finally having the woman dragged away.

"What were her feelings?"

"She was being honest, telling the truth. She was very frightened and concerned about someone else. Her fear was so strong that not much else came through."

Daimyo exploded voice exploded with anger. "She could NOT have been telling the truth! She is a lying whore! She, who called herself my wife, has been seen looking at another man. I will not tolerate it!" He turned on Raphaella and raised his fist, as if to strike her, but dropped his arm. "She will be beaten and then executed along with the bastard offspring she is carrying! You are lying to me and you will be beaten."

Daimyo waved to the guards to take her away. She was taken to an area where she saw the woman tied to a pole. Raphaella's hands were bound in front of her, raised, and tied above her head, facing a pole next to the weeping woman. Her kimono was ripped until her back was exposed. Two men with bamboo poles were standing next to her. Daimyo had come to watch the punishment of both women. Raphaella braced herself for what was coming.

"Ten for the woman with red hair. Twenty for my wife." The words were spit out in disdain from his mouth.

Each man with a pole turned to a woman, while another man beat a slow rhythm out on a drum. With each beat of the drum the poles were brought across backs of the women. Raphaella bit down on her lip, determined not to give Daimyo the satisfaction of hearing her scream. She could feel warm liquid trailing down her back, more with each stroke. After what seemed an eternity, the man beating her stopped, while the other man continued to beat the screaming woman next to her. After a few more strikes, the woman thankfully passed out and quit screaming.

Raphaella was left hanging from her wrists, unable to support her own weight. After a while she, too, blacked out.

XXXXXXXXXX

When she came to, Raphaella was being dragged on her shredded back through the dirt toward her hut. She wished she would pass out again. It felt as if a thousand bonfires had been lit on her back. She bit down on her lip, reopening the split Daimyo had given her yesterday. She was dumped just inside the doorway and kicked toward the center of the room. She looked around the room and in the corner she could dimly see a pile of rags that seemed to be groaning. Raphaella dragged herself toward the pile and realized it was the woman who had been beaten. When she reached her, she placed her hands on her and began to heal her, as she had Daniel so long ago. She wasn't able to help much due to her weakened condition, but she did take some of the worst of the pain away and the woman seemed to sleep.

Raphaella lay on the ground for a few minutes, gathering her strength. She finally was able to get up on her hands and knees and creep to the water jug. She took several sips and then dragged herself and the jug back to the injured woman. She got a few sips down her throat. She tried to move the woman onto her side so she could wash some of the dirt out of the wounds, but lacked the strength. Knowing she was unable heal herself in her weakened condition, she sank down onto the dirt and lost consciousness.

AN: Once again, many thanks to my beta, Verb. Only two more chapters to go!