(Begins crying and sobbing inconsolably) WHY does no one review?? I feel so sad… all I ask… is one review… why does no one care about all of this time I spent? SADNESS. Oh well, maybe if I post the next chapter, SOMEONE WILL ACTUALLY READ IT. Heh. Anyways, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, or any of its characters, they are all property of Nobuhiro Watsuki. I also do not own the phrase "Burnt up Old Sausage" in description of Shishio, this idea belongs entirely to Pu-chan. Now, to the story!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fuji was daintily picking his way through the dense vegetation. When you are over 50 feet tall, getting around could be a challenge. "At last," he sighed. A sign hung from over a tall building. 'Oswald's Florists and Car Repair Center,' the sign read. Below it, another notice hung: 'HELP WANTED. MUST BE AT LEAST 50 FEET TALL, HAVE A SCARY WHITE WIG, AND CARRY AROUND A 20 FOOT LONG GIANT SWORDY THINGY.' Fuji was coming in for his job interview. Later that afternoon, he waltzed out of the florist department, flowers in his long, muscular arms, and a smile on his face. "Just wait 'till Shishio-sama sees these!" he thought, taking a big whiff of the flowers he was carrying. Some of their petals mingled with the falling cherry blossoms as they fell. Fuji knew Shishio would be proud. "Mmmm…" thought the 50 foot tall florist. "Daffodils…."

Anji braced himself. STRIKE!! "Wow, another one!" he grinned at his bowling buddies. "C'mon, Usui, let's see you beat that!!" "Anji, you seem to forget the fact that I am blind," Usui muttered in a low voice. "Now carry on and we can stop by at Gramma Damma's on the way back to the Shrine-of-the-now-further-constructed-but-still-not-quite-seven-arches." About twenty minutes later, they approached the "Walk-Thru" counter. The intercom buzzed as an all-too-familiar voice came through… "Hello, BAGEL!!! BAGEL!!!twitchtwitch Thank you for choosing twitchtwitch Gramma Damma's Donuts. My name is- BAGEL!! BAGEL!!! Himura Kenshin, may I take your twitch your order? twitch" Anji and Usui gave each other a scared look. "Battousai?" ventured Anji. "B-B-B-BAGEL!!!!!!BAAAA------GEEEEL….. n-no, I… I no longer answer to the name twitch of … of Battousai. twitch. This one--- this one---twitch-----twitch--- this---twitch----one----is no longer….twitch---the Battousai. twitch. BAGEL!!! DO YOU HAVE----- A BAGEL!!!!???" screamed the… "off center" Hitokiri. "As a matter of fact…" Muttered a very scared Usui, digging through his fuzzy gray, Granny-style purse. "Ah, here it is." He handed one of his own, homemade bagels to Kenshin. "Here you go, old chap!" Kenshin obviously seemed to notice, as the spasmodic twitching quickly stopped. Instead, he was now just staring at the lumpy, misshapen thing like it was some sort of god. "L-L-Lucifer?? Is it really you??" Tears of joy were cascading down the rurouni's face. "H-here." Said the bagel-obsessed ex-samurai. "Take your pastries and go…. And leave me and the bagel alone… Lucifer…after all these years…!" Usui and Anji grabbed their donuts and ran away from the crazed rurouni like Shishio ran away from Yumi after Yumi thought that he had signed up for the "I need to start dating older women application form." (Yumi eventually found out that the form was Saizuchi's. --…) Meanwhilst…

Sojiro was walking back from Clyde's Super Caffeine-Integrated Pastry Shop with a strange glint in his eye, when Chou practically ran into him. POW! Chou did run into him. "S-S-S-Sojiro!!" gasped the out-of-breath broomhead. Everyone's favorite Tenken gave Chou an appraising glance. "Th-Th-That crazy tr-transvestite is still after me! You gotta help me hide!" Sojiro heard Kamatari's voice calling from up the alley. "Chou-ou…… where a-a-are you-ou-ou…. I'm gonna fi-i-ind you…. And I'm gonna ge-e-et you…" Chou's face turned desperate. "Please, Sojiro!" he cried. "We-ell…." Thought the Tenken with an evil smile. He had never really been too fond of Chou, come to think of it… Chou got an idea just as Kamatari's large chain-scythe weapon's shadow appeared in the alley. "Will you do it for a Soji-snack?" Sojiro considered, and shook his head. "Two-o-o Soji-snacks?" Kamatari's shadow loomed in front of the alley, and Chou cried out in panic. "Oh, what the hell! Sojiro, take all my Soji-snacks, for all I care! Hmmf!" Chou began to run away just as Kamatari appeared in the alley. "Oh, hello, Soji-kun!" (BIG smile.) "Have you seen that broomhea- HEY, LOOK, Soji-snacks!!"

Meanwhile, back at the Shrine-of-six-and-still-not quite-seven-yet-Arches.... Shishio was playing Go Fish with Houji, who had just returned from his day-job at the day care center, with several Cheerios stuck on the fuzzy green mold-like stuff on his jacket, and Yumi, who had changed into her even more revealing pajamas, even though it was only just around 5:00pm. Houji and Yumi were careful to let Shishio win, as they didn't want to have to suffer his crispy, sausagelike wrath. Houji kept glancing at Yumi. Oh…my…GOD. Thought Houji. How much more slutty can this woman get?? This is ridiculous. Yumi seemed to notice Houji staring at her, and scooted closer to her beloved Shishio-sama. Shishio looked at Yumi with his bright red eyes, and glared at Houji with a "You keep looking at my girl, you get burnt to a crisp within the next 3 seconds" look. "A-A-ACHOOO!" sneezed Yumi. "What's wrong, Yumi, my love?" Asked Shishio with genuine concern. "I- Achoo! Don't know! Achoo!" Just then, Fuji burst (literally) into the room, his hands full of flowers that were giving off an abundant odor of daffodils… and pollen.

To Be Continued….

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, NOW will someone please review?? Please? Come on, you slackers, click that little button, leave me a note.... otherwise suffer my burnt up and sausagelike wrath! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Anyway, like always: for every review that I get, I will post a new chapter.

Review! NOW! -Burntupoldsausage (AKA Crispy)