Warning: This is slash. SLASH! Remus/Sirius pairing. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's that simple.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters/names/places/events/etc. belong to JKR and Warner Bros. I'm just a poor little fangirl that likes to borrow them.
James made his way down the stairs, confident in his friends' abilities to sort themselves out. They would either finally admit their feelings for each other—or decide to be friends. Or they could kill each other in a monumental blood bath and come back as ghosts to haunt me.
He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, his thoughts still in the dormitory with his two best friends.
"James Potter."
James jumped at the voice, whipping around to come face to face with—
"Lily."
"Good afternoon, James," Lily drawled sternly, her wand pointed between his eyes. Her red hair reflected the light in a way that made it look like her head was enveloped in flames. The image conjured up faint memories of playing the Magic card game with his Muggle neighbors—each card had an illustration of a "magical creature" and James's favorite card had been one of a fire goddess.
He quickly shook himself of the thoughts.
"Uh…good afternoon, Lily," he said, wincing when his voice cracked on the name. "Anything I can help you with?"
"So nice of you to ask, James." Lily's bottle green eyes glinted dangerously. She poked his nose with the tip of her wand, squashing it into his face. "Antidote. Now."
"What?" James found himself backing up into the wall near the foot of the stairs. His heart pounded an enormous battle cry against his ribcage. Lily advanced on him.
"I want the antidote to whatever potion or spell you used on the Secret Snog parchments."
"But—"
"Don't make me hex you, Potter." Lily jabbed at his nose threateningly.
"But—"
"Because if you don't give me the antidote now, I won't even hesitate to curse your sorry behind all the way to Timbuktu." Despite the frostiness of her voice, James thought he detected an impish delight in her eyes. So beautiful…
"What?" Lily asked, startled.
"What?"
"You just said—what's so beautiful?"
Damn. I can't believe I said it out loud. James could feel the blood rush to his face, but he kept his voice casually nonchalant. "Nothing at all, Evans."
Lily narrowed her eyes, the edge of coldness back. "So what about that antidote?"
"I don't have one."
"Come again?"
"I don't have an antidote," James repeated, this time in a slow, deliberate voice that he might take with a dimwitted child.
"I don't believe you."
"Really, Lily. There's no antidote."
"Then find one," Lily hissed through her teeth.
"Why?"
"That's really none of your business," she replied coolly.
"Maybe if I knew what the problem was, I could help," he snapped, then forced his voice into a much milder tone. "What's wrong? You don't like who you got?"
"No, I don't bloody like who I got!"
James noted a slight hysteria to Lily's voice that made him soften his attitude considerably. "What's wrong, Lily?" he asked, his voice gentle.
His abrupt change in temperament seemed to take her off guard. She lowered her wand in shock, her jaw slack.
"Lily?"
"I—erm—I got the name of someone I used to—date."
"Oh."
"The relationship ended really badly. It's been two years, but I don't think I can kiss him."
James suddenly felt horrible—for coming up with a game that fooled so much with people's feelings, a game that brought so much emotion to the surface. He thought briefly of the trouble it had caused for his two friends.
"I'm"—James took in a deep breath, forcing the word out of his mouth—"sorry."
"What? What did you say?"
"I'm sorry, okay? I thought it'd be a fun game. I didn't mean for everything to go so wrong." He was surprised at the words spilling from his mouth, but he felt oddly relieved, as if telling Lily had taken some of the guilt away.
"James."
He snapped his head up at the tenderness in Lily's voice. It was the first time she had said his name as if she really meant it.
"Did something else happen, James?"
James nodded dumbly, looking away. He didn't want to betray his friends' trust in him, but he wanted to badly to talk to someone about his mistake.
"Is it about Black and Remus?"
"What?" he sputtered.
Lily looked as if she was refraining from rolling her eyes. "Oh, please. We all saw Remus's jealous French-fest in the Common Room."
"Right," he said shakily.
"James, don't feel bad. It had to happen sooner or later. The tension between them was unbearable at times. Something was bound to trigger it. If it wasn't this game, then it would have been something else. It wasn't your fault."
He nodded again, sighing. Lily patted his shoulder awkwardly; James tried his best to fight to idiotic grin threatening to erupt on his face at the unexpected touch.
"Don't think you're off the hook, though. I still want an antidote."
James suddenly remembered his own Secret Snog, and groaned inwardly at the prospect of approaching Lily—especially after they had almost had a decently normal conversation without him making an utter fool of himself.
"I think I'm going to go to the library for a while."
"Did I hear right?" Lily gasped mockingly. "James Potter, willingly going to the library?"
"Ha ha. If you must know, I'm going to research an antidote. It looks like I'm going to need it, too."
"You?" Lily gave him a suspicious frown. "Don't tell me. You cheated your way into getting my name and now you're too ashamed to do it?"
"I didn't cheat!" James seethed indignantly. "I got it fair and square."
"So you did get my name?" Lily smirked as James realized what he had just admitted.
"I guess I did," he said, trying to appear aloof. Why was it so hard to be laid-back when he was around this girl?
"I see." Lily was giving him an odd look, as if trying to peer into his soul. James squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutiny. "Well, come on, then. We better get to the library."
"We?"
Lily smiled at him, a true, genuine smile that made James feel like he was floating thirty feet in the air.
"Yes, we. Two heads are better than one, Potter."
With that, Lily shoved her wand inside her pants pocket and headed in the direction of the portrait hole. James followed along like an obedient child, still trying to comprehend the finer points of their discussion.
x-x-x-x-x
Remus lay on the bed, sweaty and sticky. He could feel the heat from Sirius's body beside him. Not a word had passed between them after they had collapsed, and Remus liked it that way. He could already feel the bile rising at the back of his throat as his mind replayed what had just transpired.
Sirius was attracted. That much he was sure of.
Like the wolf inside him, Remus could sense the most base of emotions—no, not emotions. Urges. Joy, sorrow, anger, fear, lust. It was a sort of empathy. The feelings he sensed around him somehow tended to seep into his own heart. That was one of the reasons he never liked being around large groups of people. Too much emotion, too many feelings, too much energy. Once, at a Quidditch World Cup he had attended as a child, his empathy had been so overwhelming that he had passed out.
And he had smelled fear on Sirius just then, a fear so overpowering it clung to his clothes like a rancid stench. But there was something even more potent…lust. He had felt it as soon as Sirius had walked in the room, an explosion of want that clouded every other emotion.
Remus closed his eyes, trying to will himself invisible. He didn't think he could face Sirius after what had happened.
"Remus?" asked a shaky voice.
He kept his eyes closed, repressing the urge to vomit. Maybe if he didn't answer, Sirius would give up and leave.
"Remus?"
No such luck.
"Moony?"
Remus clenched his teeth, hoping to stop them from shuddering. Unfortunately, the action only made him whimper pitifully at the back of his throat. He blinked back the tears burning his eyes.
Silence, and then—
"Stop ignoring me, dammit!"
Remus steeled himself and turned his head to find Sirius looking at him intently. The pale eyes were unreadable. His ebony hair pooled around him, and his face was still flushed. The musky, erotic scent of sweat and semen hung in the air.
"I'm sorry," Remus whispered hoarsely. "I never meant for things to go this far."
"Don't apologize. I'm as much at fault as you are."
"No. The w—wolf is antsy around this time."
"Because of Lupercalia?" Sirius's eyes were suddenly beset with worry.
"Yes—plus it's m—mating season." Remus blushed, tripping over the last words.
Something like understanding dawned on Sirius's face, shadowed with a trace of—was it disappointment?
"Rem, we really need to talk," said Sirius, sitting up slowly and choosing to conveniently disregard the dark patch of wetness soaked through the front fabric of his pants.
Remus nodded, mimicking the other boy's movements so that they were now seated side by side on Sirius's bed, the blanket and sheets tangled around them. He still refused to make eye contact, choosing instead to trace the folds of the sheets. Sirius's gaze bore into the side of his head, and it was a moment before either of them spoke.
"Moony, I need to know. What happened?" Remus thought he detected a hint of trepidation in that statement, as if Sirius didn't want to hear the answer. Then the voice took on a tone on wry sarcasm. "We seem to be losing control a lot lately."
"It's—" He cut himself off, realizing the pathetic nature of his excuse—the one he had been using to fool everyone, including himself.
"Is it the wolf?"
He chanced a quick glance at his friend. Sirius was biting his lip, and some unidentifiable emotion flitted across his face. Remus clenched his teeth, knowing his world was going to come crashing down the minute he spoke the word.
"No."
"Then it was…you?" Sirius asked slowly.
Remus finally looked up into the boy's eyes, and found himself spellbound. He wanted to look away from the gaze that seemed to drill through his façade and examine his soul closely. He wanted to look away, but found himself simply falling further within those gray depths.
"Yes."
"But—why?" Sirius's eyes held pain, so much pain that it physically hurt Remus to look into them. But the eyes also seemed to be clinging desperately to a deep, albeit small, fraction of hope.
"Because I…I…"—Remus's voice was barely a whisper, and Sirius leant towards him to hear it—"Because I'm in love with you."
TBC (To be continued)…
DEMONSBLADE: Sorry the update took twice as long. The second part took longer to ferment in my mind than I thought. And I know, I'm terrible to leave off there, but I couldn't help it. I'm evil.
SIRIUS: Damn right, you flint-hearted fool of an author.
JAMES: This story's also been changed to M (R), I've noticed.
DEMONSBLADE: Yes, due to popular demand.
SIRIUS: Popular demand, my behind! You just wanted an outlet for your perverted, dirty thoughts about me and Rem.
DEMONSBLADE: Let's answer some reviews, shall we? mikomi bansiki has kindly offered a great solution to my problem.
SIRIUS: What problem?
DEMONSBLADE: You. So unless you learn to behave yourself, I'm afraid I'm going to have to shut you in a room with Dobby and Winky. Wait—on second thought, make that Dobby, Winky, and Kreacher.
SIRIUS: NOOOOOOOOOO!
DEMONSBLADE: Mwhahahahaha!
SIRIUS: You're truly a sadistic, manipulative witch, you know that?
DEMONSBLADE: I know.
REMUS: There've been a lot of comments about my dominance in the smut.
SIRIUS: Because you know, I'm supposed to be the confident, manly dominant figure. You just threw off the entire equation, you stupid author.
DEMONSBLADE: Oh, put a sock in it. I'm not asking your opinion, Sirius. I'm addressing the reviewers. Remus may seem like a shy, submissive type of person, but that's precisely one of the reasons why I think he would take control. Squashing your impulses and desires all the time has to result in some sort of explosion. And as for Remus being too innocent to know much…you'd be surprised what the quiet ones know. But, well, he'll explain that to Sirius soon enough. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to justify what he did. I'm just explaining why I thought it was something he'd do.
REMUS: silver-sunn101 writes that Sirius was somewhat OOC in the last chapter.
DEMONSBLADE: I didn't even consider that. I thought he'd naturally be shy around Remus, especially when the two are alone…but I see what you mean when you say he loses his consistency. Oops. Guess I overdid that one. And I also realize that you're right in saying I don't have much description of the setting. I'll try to add more in the future. And you're probably right on that they wouldn't have quite gone that far. I wasn't even intending for them to. It just sort of…happened. The characters took over, and—
SIRIUS: We did no such thing! It was all you—you and your sick, dirty little mind.
DEMONSBLADE: Okay, so it was me. But even though Remus said the wolf had no control over him, the wolf's instincts, unfortunately, did. But that's coming up in the next chapter, so I'm not going to give anything away.
JAMES: I've got to ask…why didn't I get my snog?
DEMONSBLADE: I told you not to get your hopes up. But don't worry, you aren't quite done yet.
JAMES: So—I have a chance?
DEMONSBLADE: Depends. If you restrain this troublemaking idiot for me—and I mean you, Sirius—then I'll consider it.
SIRIUS: Too bad for you, then. Because James would never betray me. Right, James? James?—What are the ropes for? Hey! Moony, help!
REMUS: Er…
SIRIUS: James, you traitor! I hope your dick shrivels up and falls off!
DEMONSBLADE: Sirius! Don't blatantly steal insults from Gravitation. It's plagiarism.
SIRIUS: As if you'd know anything about plagiarism.
DEMONSBLADE: I don't plagiarize! I…borrow.
SIRIUS: Right.
DEMONSBLADE: Heh…anyway, I hope you liked this installment. Sorry it took so long. And keep those reviews coming. Later.