AAK! This one is so sorry for the delayed posting of this chapter... I've been a BAD girl... BAD CRISPY! NO CHEEZ-IT! -.- I've been SUPER busy... I'll try to make up for it later, but I have an important notice-- I've kinda... run out of chapters that I already have written. I'm gonna have to actually start WRITING this ACTIVELY now... or else I'll start getting pegged by bokkens, vegetables, etc... (Swirly eyes) So next couple of chapters may also be a bit late, but I'm trying! Really, I am! Please don't hate me... (swirly eyes, again...-.-) Disclaimer: If I owned any of this stuff, it would be called, "Rurouni Shishio," And be all about the Juppongatana. Apparently, though, this is not the case. (I WISH!) n.n
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Crispy: Oh, no!! I have too many loose ends to tie up…! Uh-WAAAH! How the crap am I gonna be able to work everybody into this thing, I dunno… Maybe I should just have a big comet come and-
All: NO!!!!
Kaoru: Yeah, stupid authoress, actually put my dear Ken-chan back into the story, instead of that bandaged freak and that Sojiro guy…
Sojiro: What about that Sojiro guy?(Great Usui impersonation, I must say, Sou-chan. High-5!)
Usui: Sojiro, I really don't see how that's supposed to be funny.
Shishio: (rolls his eyes) Well, DUH, Usui… (mumbling) an intellect rivaled only by garden tools…
Usui: I HEARD THAT!!!
Saito: Not surprised.
All: SAITO?!?!
Saito goes off on his "I feel smart because I know all about Heart's Eye" dumbass speech. A now un-drunken Aoshi hits him with a rake.
Aoshi: KYA, HAHA!! (All stare at Mr. Forgot-how-to-smile-at-the-age-of-4.)
Shishio is severely ticked off. This chapter was supposed to be about HIM.
Shishio: The strong will live, the weak will die… Houji, bring me a Danish. (All gasp.)
Houji: Uh, don't you want to kill Mr. Shinomori and Hajime?
Saito: (Angry Kaoru eyes. Kaoru: …HEEEEY!!) It's Saito. Not Hajime. Saito. (gets dangerous glare.) Houji prances gleefully around the room. He is still wearing a miniskirt and a tube top with the slogan: "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by a second time??" The typical preppy girl outfit. So anyways, Houji is bouncing around gleefully, clapping his hands and saying in a singsong voice, "Hajime, HAJIME!!"
Shishio was tired of wasted time, time that could be spent raiding the cookie jar. (UH, I MEAN… UH, WATERING… HIS PLANTS!!) n.n;;
Shishio: THAT'S ENOUGH, HOUJI!!! Houji walks off, dejected, to read YM. He knew better than to argue with Shishio when he had that purple glare in his eyes. "Now, Shinomori, and Hajime," "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!" screamed Saito in frustration. "Prepare to die, Hajime…again. (mocking smile) (mumbling) At least nobody would dare to call ME, The Great Shishio Makoto, any embarrassing names…" Yumi opens the door, and calls out in a babyish voice, as if she were speaking to a 3-year-old child. "Oh, Mako-chan…. You're soap opera's on!!" Shishio's face turned the same bright red color as his eyes, beneath his bandages. "Great timing, Yumi…" He muttered. "OK, all other Juppongatana, besides Chou, because I don't like you!! (So gentle...-.-) Kill Shinomori and Hajime." Saito, er, uh…Hajime would have exploded with anger if he had not been squished with an all-too-familiar Rurouni's sword. "Ame Kakeru Ryu No Hirameki!"Shishio's eyes were wide. "Only one person could have a voice so annoying!! It must be… Bagel-Boy!! Long time, no see!" Shishio and Kenshin shook hands, and started chatting like old friends. The director of the show stepped out. "NO, NO, NO!!! You two are lifelong enemies! Now play the role, or you're fired!
Crispy: Hey, hey, hey!! This is my fanfic! Who the crap are you, Duckshirt? Get outta my story!!! He walks off, all dejected, saying that he would sue.
Saizuchi: This is boring—I'm off to steal Chou's hair products, and brush my teeth. (everyone cheers)
Crispy walks to see which sitcom Shishio and Yumi are watching. "Hey, it's… I love Lucy. You guys watch that?? Wasn't it made in like, 1950?"
Shishio: So?
Crispy: This is like, 1862.
Yumi: Shh.
Crispy: Uh…okay…
I decided to go see if Sou-chan will let me have any of his coffee… Meanwhile, all the KFC members except me are gone, but then Don#1 (Chou-Don) suddenly jumps up. (He had fallen asleep, and doesn't know how to get back.) I do an evil laugh. OK, PEOPLE, THIS IS YOUR CUE TO LAUGH AT HIM FOR DISREGARDING MY WARNING AND STILL NOT JOINING. Mwahaha. Suddenly, he blows up. Hahaha. -.-;;
Anyway, since this is getting pointless, let's revert back (HAHA, redundancy! I love those… n.n) to when Sojiro is taking advantage of Shishio's absence, and is once again raiding the instant cappuccino vault. He opened the door, and saw the holy glow… (This one hopes no-one is offended by my use of the word, 'holy,' there.) …Of coffee. Sojiro smiled happily, and I (Crispy) walked up, bored out of my skull. "Hiiiiii, Sojiro…" I said with a bored flavor. "Whaaaaatcha doooin'?" Sojiro smiled as he answered. "I'm just raiding Mr. Shishio's instant cappuccino vault!" Now, his eyes took a demented shine. He leaped down into the "coffee chamber," (That sounds SO weird…-.-) and I heard the many happy, caffeinated sounds of a Tenken chugging down as much coffee as he could fit at once into his mouth. This very cute (and very humorous) instant was broken, however… For, as soon as Sojiro had opened the door to the cappuccino vault, what should run out, unbeknownst to the Tenken…
"A MOUSE!!!" Screeched Aoshi girlishly. (LOL I can actually picture that… o.0) He leaped up, and clutched a hanging chandelier, which promptly fell… right onto Saito. (I just LOVE torturing Saito, he's such a JERK! Heeeheeeheee… evil grin. n.n) Saito groaned, and shoved the chandelier off of him. He walked up to the mouse. "Goooood little moussie…" He cooed. "Does the widdle moussie want a tweat? Yes, he does! DO you want a tweat? Yes, you do! Yes you do! Ooh, you're so CUTE, you know that?" Aoshi ran off to vomit in the nearest possible area. (In this case, Saizuchi's wig closet.) Saito stroked the mouse's back. BUT, this is no ordinary mouse… it is a mouse bearing the deadly… GRAHAM CRACKER SYNDROME!!! And it had just bitten Saito. "GAAH!" Screamed Saito. The mouse did an awfully high-pitched, squeaky evil laugh, and ran off to cause more havoc. Meanwhile, Aoshi climbed down from the other chandelier that he had leaped to, just as the first one fell. (Or, perhaps, it would be better to say, leaped out of the way as the second chandelier, much like the first, fell and conked Saito in the head.) Aoshi gave another loud, high-pitched scream as the mouse brushed against him as it ran away. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! You repulsive creature! Prepare for the full wrath of my Double Kodachi!" Aoshi ran after the mouth, a psychotic laugh erupting from his throat, leaving Saito pinned down below the second chandelier. Which was probably for the better, too, as Saito now had a terrible case of GRAHAM CRACKER SYNDROME, and was beginning to foam at the mouth.
Meanwhile, Crispy was walking around a different part of the shrine, looking for something to kill her boredom. She saw Houji singing Karaoke, and was about to run screaming in the opposite direction. He was not only doing what could have passed for a Britney Spears imitation… he was TOTALLY IMERSED IN A VIDEO THAT SHOWED ALL OF BRITNEY'S DANCE STEPS, MOTION BY MOTION!! HORROR OF HORRORS!! It got worse! He was watching her "Pop and Lock" Routine video, and singing along to the music! Crispy did not run away immediately. She ran away after lobbing several granola bars at Houji, and a large brick at the television screen. (Was T.V. even available back then?? I know Shishio's Soap Opera wasn't… o.0)
Meanwhile, because I have a large bokken aimed toward my forehead, and for purposes of self-preservation, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO KENSHIN!.............Next time. Why then? Because I'm too lazy to type it now, that's why. Yet another chapter cut short because of Crispy's laziness… Sorry, Minna-dono! This one will try to make up for it… next time….
TO BE CONTINUED…
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Crispy: Now I feel all bad... I post this chapter late, and I leave everybody hanging...
Shishio: ...Not to mention that you should be doing homework right now. Plus, you have 3 seperate final exams in 2 days, and haven't studied for ANY of them yet, and, OH! Don't you have that Geologic History Powerpoint due tomorrow? And don't you have-
Crispy: Don't remind me...
Sojiro: Look!! I have waffles!! n.n
Crispy: OOOOH!! WAFFLES! THANK-YOU-SO-MUCH-SOU-CHAN!!!! (glomps Sojiro)
Sojiro: OOOORROOOO!!! (swirly eyes).....Can't...Breathe....help?
Crispy: Oh, my gosh!This one isso sorry! So sorry!!
Shishio: WHY THE (SPLEEEEEEP) IS EVERYONE TALKING LIKE THE BATTOUSAI, DE GOZARU KA?!?!?
Crispy: ...
Shishio: SHI-.......ppo.
Crispy: OOH, I LOVE Shippo-chan! So kawaii...
Houji: Like, OH, MY GAWWD!! Don't you like, think EVERYBODY is, like, kawaii??
Crispy: ...except you. You're gay. And scary. And you smell like pea soup.
Houji: But, all of my new clothesare totally GRoooooVY! Wouldn't you agree!?
Shishio: That's MY LINE! I'm the one that says, 'Wouldn't you agree?' all the time!! GRRRRRRR....(burns Houji to a crisp. Everyone cheers.)
Sojiro: ....groovy?? T.T o.0
-Crispy, the very lazy fanfiction writer. Oh, by the way, review? Please? I don't bite... Unless you're the Battousai, and your left shoulder looks pretty appetizing...n.n