AIEEE!! I'm SO sorry! I forgot to paragraph this chapter... yet more stuff you guys will hate me for!! (cowers in a corner, with Shishio logo coffee mug) OK, I'm finally getting to the task of typing up this chapter!! (-.-") OK, one suuuper important notice… (sob) Crispy just can't keep up with all the reviews! (sob) Please forgive this Burnt Up Old Sausage for not living up to initial expectations… I'll post stuff as fast as I can, but the chances of me being able to do a new chapter for each review are…unlikely, to say the least. Feel free to now hit me with flying vegetables, a bokken, a shinai, a Homura-Dama, a Shun Ten Tatsu, a Shukuchi, a Guren-Kaina, a Kagezuchi, an Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki, a Kansatsu Tobikunai, or anything… I'm so sorry… you can kick me all the way to Kyoto, if you wanted to…
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OK, now for the promised story about what happened to Kenshin!! …Anyways… Kenshin was walking around the Shrine-Of-The-Construction-Still-Put-On-Hold-And-Having-No-Chance-Of-Being-Finished-Anytime-Soon, looking for a way to get back to the Kamiya Dojo. He was following the scent of badly burned bagels, a sure sign that Usui was cooking again, as usual. He rurouni'ed into the kitchen, and was very surprised to see Fuji and Saizuchi there, trying and failing to help Usui cook better. Usui picked up a large Sasquatch (lol don't ask… -.-) and put it into a bowl. Or, perhaps it would be better to say, one of Houji's really freaky looking business suit…hat things…….. whatever! After the Sasquatch, candy canes, egg timers, daffodil blossoms, and an onion quickly followed suit. Usui was left with a very messy mixture, which he joyfully deposited in the oven with the help of Saizuchi, who by this time was all covered in flour, sesame seeds, and shortbread biscuits. Fuji sniffled as he watched some of his beloved daffodils go into the oven.
He was just about to leave, when Kenshin darted across the kitchen to the bagel stash. Fuji was just about to oppose him, when a very foaming-at-the-mouth Saito ran in, shouting about graham crackers. (Don't forget, he was suffering from the dreaded…. GRAHAM CRACKER SYNDROME, where the victim suffers an incurable obsession with graham crackers!! THE HORROR!! In severe cases, (Like Saito's, for instance) the victim also grows a bushy squirrel tail and starts rattling off random Christmas carols.) ().() Saito bolted over to the counter, and began stuffing his face with graham crackers. Kenshin, Saizuchi, and Fuji were long gone by now, driven off by the scent of Usui's culinary talents.
Just then, Sojiro snuck in to get some more instant cappuccino, and saw Saito. He fell to the ground laughing. "HAHAHAHAhaaaa!! SAITO, SAITO, SHAKE YOUR BUSHY TAIL!!! SAITO, SAITO! SHAKE YOUR BUSHY TAIL!! WRINKLE UP YOUR FREAKISHLY HUGE HAWKISH NOSE, STICK IT IN BETWEEN YOUR TOES! (which hopefully don't smell as bad as I think they do…) SAITO, SAITO, SHAKE YOUR BUSHY TAIL!!! WA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Saito, who had indeed grown a bushy tail from his dreaded… GRAHAM CRACKER SYNDROME, and had, indeed, started "dancing" to the song, turned only briefly to see little Sojiro (n.n) rolling on the floor, laughing. The rest of the Juppongatana filed in, having heard Tenken laughter. If it made a Tenken laugh, it just had to be comedic gold. It was better. It was comedic platinum. Hoh, boy. Shishio took one look, and was in very much the same state as Sojiro. Yumi looked and rolled her eyes. "Shishio-sama… Sojiro-chan… that is the single most childish thing—" her sarcasm was cut short by Usui's laughter, which is so psychotically scary, even Saito stopped stuffing his face, and all the way at the Kamiya dojo, there were nightmares. 0.0 (Crispy does not want to hear Usui's laughter… (huddles down and rolls into a ball))
Just then, a crowd of small, innocent looking children crowded outside the doors of the shrine… (Demented Christmas song time! o.0) "Bandage Man, Bandage Man! Bandaged all the way! Oh, what fun it is to set Kyoto up in flames, OH! Bandage Man, Bandage Man! Burnt and crispy, too! After you started your reign of flame, what could the Battousai do??(Shishio: "Heh.") OH, Crashing through the flames, laughing evilly, no more fun and games… chugging down coffee…"
Saito joined in, still oblivious to his surroundings because of the GRAHAM CRACKER SYNDROME. "DECK the halls with flaming pastries, (Sojiro's ears perked up) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. T'IS, the season to burn Kyoto. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Don, we now, our gay apparel (In other words, Kamatari costumes) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. BURNING up someone named Carol. (I kinda needed a rhyme pretty badly… -.-) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Some of the… stranger Juppongatana members (Like Houji, for instance…) applauded, and gave the small children little samples of Usui's cooking. "…Uh, thanks…" said one little boy with a blank look on their face, regarding the burnt food skeptically.
Most of the Juppongatana began to disperse… Usui stayed in the kitchen, preparing his next culinary delights… Chou to the laundry, Sojiro snuck off to Shishio's instant cappuccino vault, Shishio went to get caffeinated, and Yumi followed Shishio like some kind of slutty-clothed lap dog… Anyways, Kenshin was on his way back to the Kamiya dojo, bloated with sheer amount of Usui's lumpy, misshapen bagels. (Living with Kaoru-dono, he was no stranger to terrible cooking.) He noticed a blue streak run past him, with a bushy tail, and much foam issuing from his mouth. Tokio is—BAGEL! BAGEL!!—In for a surprise… Thought the Bagel-obsessed Rurouni with an evil grin…
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Crispy: Well, so that's (more or less -.-) what happened to Kenshin…? I know I'm losing my touch…(sob) That is, assuming I've ever had one… (sniffle)
Shishio: Are you… crying??
Crispy: (Tenken smile) N-no.
Sojiro: (Angry Kaoru eyes) …Heeey!!
Crispy: I'm sorry, everybody… I have so little imagination, I'm even starting to quote other people…
Sojiro: It's OK… at least there's still coffee!! Coffee makes life worth living!! n.n
Shishio: Hey, by the way, Sojiro… where have you been getting all this coffee…? I thought that I was the only one with a cappuccino stash…
Sojiro: Uhhh… Internet? Black Market? Houji's closet?
Shishio: Houji's closet?! What the hell?!? So THAT'S where all my coffee has gone missing!! HOUJI!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs off with that creepy glowing-purple-eyed glare)
Sojiro: (EVIL Tenken smile) hehehehehehe….
-Crispy, master of all that is coffeelike and caffeinated. n.n