…The (very) long awaited… CHAPTER NINE!!! WOOT!!! My first flaming! WOO! Bring it on! I'm a pyromaniac, y'know… (glances at charred cinders of last year's school papers) hehe…he…Sorry about the late posting… again… Crispy was taking a ski trip… By the way, it turns out that my family is gonna be moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico this summer… that means that all of those awesome, scary, and demented friends that confused you in chapter 5, Crispy will no longer be able to hang out with. (Now, this one lives in Oregon.) Crispy is going through depression… (glomps Juppongatana plushie collection for good luck, wallows in self pity… My friends here are the ones who first showed me anime, to begin with… OK, Crispy, pull yourself together! Or no pocky! (I start getting scared of my own pocky-less threatening toward myself…-.-"))

OK, here we go! Oh, but first, I gotta tell you guys something totally random! I had this really wigged out dream a few days ago as my parents were driving to the airport. It was the fight between Shishio-sama and Himura-san, and Shishio said something like, "You are stronger than me, Battousai, but I will still rule this country." And then he did that smug Shishio laugh that we all know so well, when a few licks of flames came from his mouth as he laughed! That's right, Shishio-san breathing fire! 0.o Then, the camera (I was watching this as if it had been an actual Ruroken episode) moved closer to the fire, and an image of Shishio appeared in the flames, and Battousai Kenshin stood facing him with the Battoujutsu stance, and that was the "end" of the "episode," and the next one was to be the battle between them… AAIIEE! I'm rambling again!! GOMEN, GOMEN!!! Forgive this poor authoress… Ah well, might at least state some well known information! (A.K.A. a nicer way of saying, 'state the obvious…')

1.) I do not own Ruroken! (Never would have guessed!)

2.) Shishio is burnt! (Fascinating!)

3.) Houji is strange! (Incredible!)

4.) Sojiro is cute and squishable! (Duh!)

5.) Pocky is good!! (Just ask Shishio!)

6.) Usui is blind! (I really don't see how this one works… n.n")

7.) Evil will always prevail!! (Another Duh! n.n)

Sorry to have bored you out of your mind… As I have lacked a decent one my whole life, all I can do is bore you with pathetic fanfiction attempts…

Speaking of which……… Prologue: (Yes, there is a prologue this time, just cause I don't want to type more than I have to. Feel free to flame me for my laziness.) It's Usui's birthday, and all the Juppongatana give him gifts, and other assorted junk. From the totally obscure (Shishio's gift comes to mind…) to the pleasantly thoughtful (but demented) (From Sojiro,) this is one chapter that has a really crappy summary, but there are plenty of Usui jokes along the way! And now, almost onto my second page of typing already, THE STORY WILL ACTUALLY START!!! Yaaaaaay… OH, by the way, this is only a hypothetical "part one" of this annoying little escapade. The next chapter I post will be a continuation of this. If you hate it, flame me. If you like it, don't. Both are very much appreciated, as are all reviews.

…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLIND PERSON WHO WE CURRENTLY CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAAAAME O-O-O-OF…"

"It's Usui," Anji whispered quickly.

"Um, right!" Said Shishio. "UUUUUSUIIIII…… Happy Birthday to you!!"
"And many more, on channel 4, and –" Sojiro stopped the add-on verses immediately, and looked around nervously. "Hehehe… … … Usui-san! When do we get the cake???" (Sojiro gazes up at Usui with big, cute, chibi eyes.)

Usui: Oh, just wait 'till you see it, Sou-kun! It's beautiful! (Shishio mumbles: "…and you would know, right??") I cooked the whole thing myself! (All the Juppongatana edge away visibly. That is, of course, to Usui, invisibly.) Usui continued ranting. "Simply marvelous! I added spiced apples, and pumpkin, and cinnamon, and brown sugar, and, OH! The most delicious strawberry frosting, with—" (All of the Juppongatana (besides Yumi) were hanging on his every word, just imagining how good it would have tasted had it not been made by Usui. And little Sou-chan, his eyes were no longer chibi… they were as big and shiny as polished blue stained glass, chibi beyond even chibi anime capacity. All together now:…AWWWWWWWW…..)

Yumi: OH, SHUT UP, USUI!! You'd better not have touched those yams I put aside for this New Years'…

Usui: I didn't touch any yams, Yumi-san! But, if I recall, (This with a malicious smile) I remember Broomhead going in there yesterday while I was cooking, and—

Yumi: CHOOOOOOUUUUU!! (runs off Kamatari style, bent on decapitation.)
Kamatari: …HEY!!

Usui: PRESENT TIME! Give me stuff!! NOW!!!!!!
Shishio: (mumbling: so polite…)

Usui: I HEARD THAT!!

Mako-chan, (YES, I just HAD to put him back in the story! n.n) being the youngest, went first. He handed Usui a small package, with eyes even more chibi than Sojiro's. (Actually, it would have made an interesting discussion…)

Usui tore the rubber ducky wrapping paper (don't ask…) and revealed a small box, that held:…

Usui: …..sunglasses? (Note after having finished chapter: how would he know…?)

Mako-chan: You hurt your eyes, right?! This should help you get better, then we can all get along, and be happy!! n.n (Shishio sure was different as a kid, huh… n.n)

Shishio: … (Face turning red)

Yumi: Awwww… Shishio-sama, you were so cute as a little kid!! (glomps Shishio)

(Sojiro is tired of having someone else besides him considered cute and squishable.)

Sojiro: (EVIL Tenken smile)

(Meanwhile, before anything else can happen, Usui continues being the patient, considerate, kind gentleman that he has always been.)
Usui: PRESENTS! GIVE ME PRESENTS!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!

(At this, Shishio responds in a typically mature fashion, flaunting his eloquence.)

Shishio: ME NEXT! ME NEXT!

Usui: …uh, ok………..

Shishio: YAAAY!
Yumi: (mumbling: maybe decaf wasn't such a bad idea after all…)

Usui opens Shishio's gift…

Usui: What the hell?! A jar of Tobasco sauce!?!

Shishio: (With Happy Sojiro eyes™) Well, who doesn't like Tobasco?! It really helps to raise your body temperature…

Sojiro: So that's why Shishio-san likes Italian more than Mexican.

Shishio: AND SUSHI! HAIL SUSHI-SAMA!!!

Sojiro: Pastries!! May the Goddess of Sugariness and Pastries watch over us for eternity!!

Kamatari: Bananas!
Yumi: Peanut Brittle! (Don't ask… When I said this was random, I meant it. (swirly eyes))

Saizuchi: FEH! I remember back in the olden days, we always used to—

All: NO!!

Saizuchi: Feh. Shows your bad taste.

(Randomly Appearing Inuyasha appears.)

Randomly Appearing Inuyasha: stop stealing my catchphrase.

(Randomly Appearing Inuyasha disappears, and becomes Randomly Disappearing Inuyasha.)

Sojiro: Um, Mr. Shishio? Miss Yumi? Can it be my turn now?

(Yumi and Shishio were taking advantage of Inuyasha's impeccable timing, and were making out behind one of the arches in the Shrine-of-the-who-gives-a-damn-anymore,-it's-never-gonna-be-done.)

Shishio: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead, Sojiro. (turns back toward Yumi-san to cuddle some more.)

Sojiro: (mumbling) Now I am scarred for life… Oh well! Usui-san, here's your present!! (ecstatic grin)

Usui: OH, IT'S A….a blindfold??

Sojiro: (smiles even wider) No, that's just to blindfold you so I can lead you to your real present! n.n

Usui: …

(Sojiro ties the new blindfold on top of Usui's "Eye of Heart" eyepatch. The one that Sojiro had given him, however, did not say, "Heart's Eye." It said, in formal Kanji, "Breakfast Cereal." Some of the Juppongatana members noticed this, and snickered.) "There! Done!" Beamed Soji-chan. "Follow me, Usui-san!!!" All except Shishio and Yumi, who were still otherwise occupied, followed Sojiro outside to a well.

Kamatari: (sarcasm) You got him a bucket of water??

Sojiro: No…… MUCH better… TADA!!!
Sojiro whipped off the "Breakfast Cereal" eyepatch with a flourish.

"LOOK!" he exclaimed, with a tone that held such enthusiasm that some of the Juppongatana edged back visibly. (Though, once again to Usui, invisibly.) Of course, though, being the keen, observant chap that he was, Usui did not even notice the tall, white creature walking toward him.

Sojiro: A SEEING EYE DOG!!!

Sesshoumaru: What!?

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Crispy: Oh, I forgot to tell everyone... ; . ; .... Happy belated Christmas, and Merry New Year! From Crispy, Norbert, Ned, Mako-chan, and all of those other random characters I invented!

Shishio: Mako-chan is a mockery of myself. I demand he be destroyed.

(Crispy shelters Mako-chan in Yumi-esque style, except without the emotionalness. (New word! wOOt! Could you let Shishio kill off a super cute, huge-and-shiny-eyed six year old child? I think not.)

Crispy: You can't kill Mako-chan! He's just a kid!! ......Besides, if you kill him off, you'll die, too.

Shishio: Crap.

Mako-chan: I'm hungry. I'm gonna go steal some more cookies, and then try to find this.... "Kappy...Chinnow Vault" place you're always obsessing about.

Sojiro: OOH! Me too! n.n

Crispy: I could use a coffee break!
Shishio: A break from what?? You've been slacking off all day!
Crispy: Being a slacker is hard work!

Shishio: Sure. Way harder than conquering the world, right?

Crispy: I'm gonna beat you to world domination. I have 13 (My lucky number! n.n) legions of winged monkeysand cows at my disposal!!

Shishio:

Crispy: COWS ROCK!!
All: 0.o

Crispy: Without cows, no milk! Without milk, coffee tastes NASTY!!

All: Ahh. Agreed.

-Crispy, future world dominator, ruling with a huge TV... for watching Innocence and Experience... or Fire Requiem... or Faces of Evil... At least I HOPE for a huge TV............maybe...