CHAPTER EIGHT
Two years had passed since Mush read the announcement in the newspaper. At first, all he could think about was beautiful Adele and some cruel, stuffy, unfeeling man and he couldn't take it. He missed her like he never had before. Even though he hadn't spoken to her in a few years, it was like they had never parted, for she lived on in his mind.
Rachel continuously asked what was wrong with him, but he said nothing as he lost himself in beer with Racetrack Higgins, a habit Race's wife wasn't too fond of.
As the memory of Adele's picture placed precariously beside her betrothed began to fade from his memory, so did she. Of course, there were still memories in the night of her. Sometimes she danced in front of him in his dreams, sometimes he rolled over holding Rachel thinking it was Adele. But as time drew further away, he accepted more readily that Adele would never be seen again.
He loved Rachel, there was no doubt about that. He had always thought love was reserved for one person, but found it increasingly odd that he could still harbor feelings for this old flame of his, yet be so in love with Rachel and the light in her eyes.
A year into the marriage, Rachel became pregnant and bore their first child, Jacob. He was perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes and a loud healthy cry. And thus, Mush fell in love with a third person.
One morning, Mush sat watch of Rachel's father's store as he tried helplessly to take care of the baby. Rachel's father had been one of the only black people to own a store outside of Harlem, so Mush felt he had a lot to live up to, but it was a good wage...a way to support his growing family.
That morning, Rachel and her father had left to visit his ailing mother in Atlanta. Mush was left to his own devices with Jacob who had caught a cold the week earlier and Rachel didn't want to risk him being too near the sickly grandma, lest either of them catch germs from one another.
Jacob was unusually fussy that morning. Two of his workers had called in sick that day, so it was just Mush, Jacob and two other workers to deal with the new shipment and customers coming in and out all day.
Jacob gave a loud cry, forcing Mush to look up from his inventory and cradle him in his arms. As he was doing so, he heard the familiar footsteps of a customer coming in.
"Michael!" He called to his worker. "There's a customer...can you help them? MICHAEL!"
Mush sighed, exasperated. Michael was always taking his stupid cigarette breaks at the most inopportune times. He would have to discuss firing him for his lazy ways as soon as his father-in-law returned.
Jacob in tow, Mush went to the register. He noticed a woman of great station standing there perusing over some baby food. She was wearing an elegant green coat with roses embroidered on the chest and a hat to match-perfect for weathering off the chill of October. She was pushing a pram, filled with a white bundle who seemed to be sleeping at the moment.
Right away Mush knew this scene was odd. In those days, women did not shop for themselves, or take their babies out. If a baby needed more carrots to be mashed or if the lady of the house needed something in particular, a maid would always be the one to fetch it. And if the baby needed to be walked, well that was the nanny's job. This woman was peculiar indeed.
The woman inspected a can of peas, perhaps to mash up for the little one in the pram.
"Excuse me?" She asked rather politely. "Does this come in a larger size?"
Mush, who was preoccupied with his baby, barely heard the question as Jacob was just beginning to finally calm down. The woman, had not let her eyes up from the jar of peas, but when their eyes met, they were both taken aback.
The woman, was none other than Adele. When she saw Mush there with the baby, she was so startled, the can of peas slipped from her black gloved hand and smashed on the floor, the noise causing both babies to cry.
"Oh I'm sorry!" she exclaimed bending over to pull her now wailing child out of the pram. "Now they're both at it. I finally got her to fall asleep...she likes long walks into town..."
Adele cooed and coddled her daughter as Mush did the same with his son.
"Maybe if you put him in the pram with her? They like the rocking motion." she said over the roar of infantile cries. "And its big enough for four children."
Mush agreed as he lay his dark child next to Adele's cream-white child. She moved the pram back and forth until both of the children dozed off together.
Adele sat down primly upon an upturned crate, as primly as one can sitting on an upturned crate, and stared ahead with a blank expression. Mush didn't quite know how to react to her, as she looked somewhat like a beautiful statue, too beautiful to be touched.
He shuffled his feet around on the floor a little bit before trying to attempt conversation. He didn't know what she was thinking. She had once been everything to him and now he could understand why she wouldn't want to speak with him. He had hurt her badly, and he had hurt himself, he knew that.
"So...I...see ya got married?" he said scratching the back of his neck.
Adele nodded.
"Two years ago." she said quietly, shifting her gaze to the sleeping children. She was beautiful, grown up and aloof. She did not ask information about him and she wondered whether it was because she didn't want to know or because she simply didn't care any longer.
He sat down, watching Jacob stretch in his sleep next to Adele's miniature daughter, who turned over and clasped the blanket with her tiny hands.
"Yeah...I got married around then too. Me and my wife had Jacob five months ago...she's in Atlanta with her pap. She's got a real sick granny down in da south. Her granny was a slave...ain't dat amazing? I got such respect for her." Mush volunteered, hoping to open up a conversation.
"That's interesting." Adele answered, looking as though watching her hair grow would be a much more fascinating subject.
Mush sighed, wondering how long this was going to go on. He couldn't take it anymore, this would be the destruction of his fantasies. He often wondered if Adele ever thought about him anymore, if she ever woke up in the middle of the night wondering about him, but this seemed to be proof she no longer cared for him.
"Look," he stammered. "I'se real sorry I left you back den. I didn't mean ta hoitcha..."
"Then what did you mean to do?" Adele asked sharply. She had grown into a pistol, that's for sure. Mush knew she gave her husband trouble, he could tell.
"Adele...I jus'...I loved you so much. And we couldn'ta been tageddah. Well we could've if we had moved, but I was young and stupid and didn't wanta leave New York..."
She seemed unmoved by his plea.
"I heard it was because you had a thing for one of the factory girls. She was white. i saw you with her." Adele stammered, keeping her cool, even though underneath it all she was about to lose it.
Mush sighed. He had gotten with a factory girl right after he left Adele, but he didn't plan on anything with the girl. She was there, she dulled the pain for a few minutes each day.
"She didn't mean anythin' to me. I sweah on me son. I knew I'd made a mistake in losing you, I knew it. But by the time I realized it, it was too late Adele. You were gone." he told her, almost in tears.
"Gone? I was right here the whole time."
"No, no...you were wid dat husband a yours by den. I almost thought of breakin' it wid Rachel and comin' back ta youse...see if you still would take me back. But den i saw you in da papah wid him and I knew it was too late."
"It wasn't too late." Adele said looking down at her hands.
"Do you love him?" Mush asked, not sure what he wanted the answer to be. He would kill any man who was in this same situation with his beloved Rachel...but somehow this was different.
Adele nodded slowly. "I didn't at first. I thought...if I was with him I'd not think about you. I liked him all right...he was pleasant. But I fell in love with him a few months into our marriage. he was so good to me. He'd never leave me. He loves me...and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him. Its not the same as with you, but I care about him deeply. And I have a child with him. He's handsome, treats me well, loves me, provides for me. There's no reason not to love him."
Mush nodded slowly. He knew those words too well. Sure, he loved Rachel now, but he hadn't always. She was pretty and she was in his station and she was colored, just like him. After a while, he started to love her, but it had never been the same...ever.
"I should hope you love your wife. Whoever she is...poor thing. She gave you this beautiful baby...and I would imagine she loves you a lot."
He nodded. "Rachel...Rachel. I...do love her. But it ain't da same neidda. Its like wid you and whats-his-face..."
Adele smiled. "Gregory."
"Right, wid you and Gregory." he stopped for a moment and looked at Jacob and Adele's daughter. "You think dey coulda made a gentleman outta me?"
"If you married me? I guess so, yes. My father surely would've put you through school. Of course people would think a little ill of me, but that wasn't anything new, I was always the black sheep. But I wouldn't have cared."
Mush nodded. He looked at Adele's baby, who looked so content and happy in her warm blankets.
"What's 'er name?" he asked after a long pause.
"Cecila. And his?"
"Jacob."
"Pretty name." She smiled. "Rachel has good taste."
He nodded and smiled, proud of his wife.
"So does dis Gregory character if he chose you." Mush said, leaning in closer to Adele. All of the moments they had spent together rushed through him, the sweet pangs and kisses of first loves, caressing under the tree in the park, the moonlit swims in the lake, making love in her satin sheets...
Adele leaned in closer to him as well. He brushed his hand over her cheek. Still as soft and white as ever. She closed her eyes, savoring it, fearing it was just a dream.
Before he could stop himself, he leaned in to kiss her. She instinctively jumped back.
"I can't...I can't do this. Jacob's asleep now...maybe you should take him back to his crib in the back. I...think its best if I don't come back here. Gregory's coming home from the office anytime and Cecila has to be bathed before then and I have to tell the cooks what's on the menu for tonight, and I have to freshen up..."
Mush understood. They didn't belong to each other anymore. They belonged to seperate people and each had their own lives and duties now, and small lives to take care of.
"It was nice seeing you. You look good...as usual."
She smiled reluctantly. "You too. Good luck. You've got a beautiful baby." She told him, stopping only long enough to let him take Jacob out of the carriage before whisking Cecilia away and clicking her heels off into the distance.
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more to come, I promise.