Author's Note: I don't own One Piece. Drat!

He couldn't help but laugh at the swordsman's discomfort. To watch the burly man jerk occasionally as he tried to sleep was just too funny not to watch. It was even funnier to hear him try and spout out threats while hiccupping in the middle of a word. It made his day!

Sanji chuckled to himself again as he entered the kitchen. It was almost lunch time aboard the Going Merry and he had a special treat in mind for a certain red head. He could almost picture her beautiful face as she tasted the delicious delicacy: a bright smile, sparkly eyes, and that beautiful song of a laugh. Hearts formed in the cook's eyes as he felt his pulse race, nostrils flaring in pleasure. He didn't need a recipe for his masterpiece so he set right to work. He opened one of the drawers and reached for a knife.

Hiccup

His hand slipped and nearly had a close encounter with the sharp objects. He couldn't help but groan inwardly at the set back. Sucking in a deep breath and holding it tight, he continued with the task at hand. The vegetables were rinsed, washed, and then rinsed again before they were ready to be sliced and diced. As he chopped, the knife moving fast along the food, he took in a sudden breath through his nose. A bubble of the air caught in his throat and he choked, momentarily taking his mind away from his previous task. The knife came down quickly and missed his fingers by a hair's breath.

Hiccup

Damn these hiccups! That was a close call…too close. Sanji downed a glass of water like a shot, hopping that would take care of the problem. Well, at least the vegetables were finished. Now on to the rice.

Everything was moving smoothly with the occasional hiccup here and there. They were becoming quite the problem as some were even disturbing his ability to function, jerking his body with every spasm of his diaphragm. He slid the vegetables into the rice and stirred them all together in his frying pot. The cook lifted the pot to flip its contents when another spasm attacked. His hand jerked and the mixture spilled out of the pan and right onto the stove top. The hot irons spit and sizzled in fury as they burned the food to a crisp.

"Sh—hiccup—it!" he cursed loudly. Luckily, the majority of the food had remained in the pot. But that was going to be a major pain to clean up.

It took much care to finish the rest of the meal. He used extra caution when fixing the meat, not wanting to ruin that in anyway as he knew his captain would probably have his head. Not that Luffy really cared if the meat was cooked or not, as long as it was there he would eat it. Well, the meal was prepared and ready to go. Sanji balanced the plates on his arms and head and began the trek to the aft deck. It was such a beautiful day so they all decided to eat outside. He had just turned the corner and was in full view of the crew when it happened.

Hiccup

Sanji's whole body jerked when another hiccup reared its ugly head. His balance had the best of the Straw Hat pirates, but even he has his moments of miscalculation. In that moment of over correction, the plates of food went crashing down, on top of him and all over the deck.

"Ahh! Meat!" Luffy cried, dashing to the rescue of his precious food.

"Ah ha!" Zoro's voice exclaimed from behind.

Sanji's face was beet red with embarrassment as he stood there, rice clinging to his suit like large lint balls, noodles dangling in his blonde locks, and meat splattered across his shoes. He could stand the laughter from his fellow men, but what hurt the most was hearing his love's laughter and know it was directed at him.

"Sanji-kun," he heard Nami say between fits of laughter. "You're so cute!"

The cook instantly forgot his embarrassment and floated over to her, heart-shaped eyes pounding hard. She pushed him away quickly and told him to take a shower, the other boys would clean up the mess. He agreed instantly, she was always right, and hurried away to get clean. Of course, he promised to make her something extra special once he was finished.

Sanji towel dried his hair as stepped out on to the deck, taking in a deep breath. Now that he was squeaky clean he could prepare that treat for his Nami-san.

Hiccup

The sound stopped him in his tracks and he looked around. It hadn't come from him…so who was it this time?

Author's Note: Who is next indeed. Evil laughter You read my mind lightpaladin! I had planned on doing Sanji next anyway. I'm not sure who I will torture in the next chapter though…I have an idea but I'm not sure.