Long goodbyes, chapter two- Draco Malfoy
Draco sat alone, disquiet as he lay awake in bed. The room was dark save for one oil lamp beside his bed. He had turned it down low, and now sat lost in thought.
He knew that Dumbledore was right: he wouldn't have killed him. How could he? He was, after all, only sixteen years old! Dumbledore had been a hundred and fifty at least, and far greater a wizard. What had happened that had rendered him so weak?
Secretly, Draco had hoped that he would fail. Draco had hoped that Dumbledore would break free of his spell and be forced to kill him, or that maybe he would fall to his knees and Dumbledore would take him back. But then Snape had arrived, and the power that had inspired both hate and grudging respect in Draco, that glimmering light to those who feared He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, was gone. Any hope of protection Draco had, gone. And with Dumbledore gone, who was now in power? A murderer, a half-man who didn't think twice about slaughtering someone for a mistake, or torturing some poor individual for amusement. Which, he wondered now, was the better choice? A mad lord who agreed on some things with him but would kill him without flinching? Or a doddering old fool of a man who loved the Mudbloods as if they were real wizards?
At least, he thought, he knew that Dumbledore would never harm him.
And Snape…this was all his fault! He had killed the one bit of hope Draco was now forced to admit he had for a normal life!
And finally he realized that that is what he wanted: a normal life. He wanted to be a normal schoolboy with normal problems, not a Death Eater or a murderer in training. He wanted to worry about his last year at Hogwarts, about Pansy Parkinson looking at other boys, about who would win the Quiddich World Cup this year and his school robes being too small. He closed his eyes, trying to block it out, but he knew that he couldn't: he remembered.
He remembered Dumbledore promising him safety, a normal life, his family, everything. He remembered Snape pounding up the stairs and saying the two vile words that had ended it all. He remembered leading them there. Though Snape said the words, It was Draco who had done the deed. He was Dumbledore's murderer. And in that moment in which his sight was filled with green light and Dumbledore slumped to the floor, he knew that his life had changed from that moment on.
One option was gone, and now only one remained.