AN –
I am not an astronomer. If my times don't accord with real moon cycles, I do not care.
This isn't R yet, but it will be soon.
Random tangent time everybody, I hate the caplock Key! I hit it when I don't mean to. It's the bane of my existence! I LOVE the Phantom of the Opera. It is the best movie and the music is amazing, and Gerard Butler is a god. On with the fic.
Chapter 2
"I can't James" Remus said, "Because I don't know" Remus knew he was lying. James sighed, he knew Remus was lying.
"Whenever you need someone, I'm here" James said. Remus nodded.
"James..." Remus began, "Don't tell Sirius"
"I won't" James said, "But you'll have to tell him something"
"I'll tell him I don't wan to hear about his girls" Remus said, which was true. James nodded.
"Let's head back up to the castle before we're caught" James said as he rose to his feet. The two walked back up to the castle.
Remus passed the next few weeks pretending to be interested. In truth, he didn't much feel interested in anything anymore. James shot him concerned glances when no one was looking, but Remus didn't respond.
"Remus!" Sirius' voice roused Remus out of his thoughts. "What's up?" Remus sighed inwardly, would no one leave him in his misery.
"Nothing, just thinking"
"I know. It's the full moon isn't it?" Sirius said. "That's why you've been off lately". Remus was relieved to have an excuse presented to him.
"Yeah, you know… it's not fun" he said. Sirius nodded gravely.
"If you'd let us come with you…" Sirius began
"No" Remus said, "You guys almost got caught last year!"
"Fine" Sirius said, "But stop worrying and help me set Lucius' robes on fire". Remus gave a disgusted noise, but he showed Sirius the charm he was looking for.
Up all alone in his room that night, Remus went over his day. He didn't know how much longer he could bear this. He was actually looking forward to the full moon to get away from everything and everyone. He hated himself. He wasn't fit to be included with them. Remus knew what he had to do, but could he bring himself to do it?
Sirius, James and Remus were in library finishing their latest potions essay. Remus was just finishing when James yawned and closed his books. Sirius looked up from the scrawl on his parchment and grinned.
"Homework's over?" he asked hopefully. James nodded and Remus added
"Thank god". Sirius smiled and Remus quickly lowered his gaze. He couldn't even meet Sirius' eyes nowadays he thought with humiliation.
"What are we going to do with the rest of the day?" James pondered.
"How about practicing some Quidditch over the lake?" inquired Sirius.
"Sure!" cried James, meet you guys on the pitch in 20 minutes. I'll try to recruit some people to play!" and he ran off toward the exit.
"Coming?" Sirius asked Remus. Remus meanwhile couldn't breathe. Quidditch over the lake? The thought of it brought icy claws cramping down on heart. He hated flying, he couldn't stand heights. He avoided them at all costs. He was also terrified of water. It all seemed so stupid, but the combination of heights over water sent him into spasms of fear. Remus shook his head.
"I'm going to finish my Runes homework" he said. Sirius frowned.
"Come on Remus! It's Quidditch, you love Quidditch!" he said.
"I'll come watch when I'm done" Remus said. Sirius grinned.
"Great! See you then!" he said as he too sped towards the library exit, earning himself an ice-melting glare from madam Pince. Remus was left alone. He couldn't face this fear. He couldn't face any of his fears. Quidditch terrified him, so did Sirius. He wanted nothing more than to be alone and finally safe, yet when he was alone, all he could think of was what he was afraid of. He needed someone, but how could he burden someone else with his problems? He couldn't, and that was that.
One week later
The full moon was that night and Remus was setting off to the shrieking shack. He wished his friends could be there like before, but last year in October Madame Pomphrey had almost caught his frineds, so Remus had told them not to come. He sighed as he walked across the chilly grounds to meet the nurse and prepared for a long night.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black!" Professor Dumbledore called to the two boys in the corridor leading up to the Great Hall. "Professor Dippett would like to see you in his office immediately". He nodded to them and continued on down the hall. Sirius turned to James and said,
"I wonder what this is about…Did we do anything punishable yesterday?" James took a moment to think,
"No" he said, "I don't even recall causing moderate annoyance yesterday… I dunno, maybe Snape did something and blamed it on us…" Sirius frowned.
"Slimy git…" he muttered, "bet he did…" James sighed,
"Well, best be off, can't keep the headmaster waiting…" They set off to the gargoyle statue and entered the password. As they moved up the staircase, they contemplated what Snape would have said they did. They arrived at the door to Professor Dippett's office and knocked with more spunk than perhaps was necessary.
"Come in boys" the Headmaster called, and the two entered. They sat in the chairs that faced the headmaster's desk. The headmaster looked at James and then at Sirius. "Boys" he said, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your friend Remus was hurt very badly last night. Madame Pomphrey fixed him as best as she could, but we are afraid of what might happen tonight". The headmaster met their anxious eyes with a look of utmost concern.
"Shit!" exclaimed Sirius, "Is he going to be okay?"
"What happened?" demanded James. The Headmaster shook his head,
"We don't know" Professor Dippett said, "Remus says he doesn't remember anything. If you'll excuse me, I have pressing matters to attend to. The two of you have my permission to visit Mr. Lupin today. Good day boys". Sirius and James rushed to the hospital wing. They entered and Madame Pomphrey led them to the cot at the back that was enclosed by white curtains.
"Mr. Lupin, you're friends are here" called Madame Pomphrey, and she opened the curtains so as to admit James and Sirius. They sat on stools on either side of Remus. He was white, and a sheet covered him almost to his chin.
"Hey" Remus said quietly. "Good of you guys to skive off classes to see me" Sirius grinned.
"Any excuse you can give me, mate! But seriously, you look like shit! You okay?"
"Yeah" Remus said, "Just sore…"
"What's with the sheet?" asked James.
"I'm cut up pretty bad" Remus said. James and Sirius winced.
"Well at least you're okay" Sirius said. James nodded.
"Scared us a bit, you did" James said. Remus smiled.
"Little old me?" he asked.
"Any idea as to what happened?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head.
"None" he said, "Wish I did…" James patted his shoulder,
"We'll get to the bottom of this" he said.
"I'm getting a little tired" Remus said regretfully. James noted that he was looking paler.
"Get some rest so you can come watch the Quidditch match!" Sirius said. "And you have to meet Carla! She's great!" Remus froze. Loathing seared up through him. He began to shake involuntarily.
"What's the matter?" asked Sirius. He went to put a hand on Remus' shoulder, but Remus flinched out of reach. He pretended he was asleep as his friends left.
James was finishing up his History of Magic essay by the fire when Sirius ran into the Common Room and sat down beside him.
"James" he panted, "I think I know what's wrong with Remus!" James looked up, startled.
"What is it?" he asked. Sirius looked around and bent over.
"I think it's got to do with the girls I'm seeing" Sirius whispered. James stared at him and he continued, "Whenever I mention them, he goes quiet" Sirius said, "I think he…….I think Remus is…….jealous of me…." Sirius finished.
AN – well, chapter 3 is almost finished, but I require reviews!
I feel the need to thank all my reviewers. I love you all!
Enelya – mmmm chocolate !
Elayna Fournier – he might tell him soon… ;)
Sike – well, what can I say to that? I REFUSE to be subtle! Not here anyway…
Kokami – I apologize for the typos, I loathe them!
Bitterblacktears – thank you so much…. I hope you liked this…..
Noone – well if I told you, it wouldn't be much fun, would it?
Catty P – yeah..ummm I like to bring time to a standstill so I'm glad you caught that I tried to fix that!
SFB – thanks for the review!