Kirsten couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw the beautiful but deadly hailstorm of glass shards moving noiselessly towards her through the dark. She thought of asking the nurses to sedate her more heavily again, both so that she could sleep and also to combat the dull ache that continuously throbbed through her body. However she knew no amount of sedation would heal this pain. Kirsten wanted Sandy: his voice, his smell, his quiet strength, his love.
She lay, listening to the continuous beep of the machine above her head, and thought about her husband. In ten minutes time, her eyes were closed and her breathing peaceful as she dreamed about happier times.
'Mrs Cohen?'. Kirsten turned her head and saw an old woman in a wheelchair being transported to her bedside.
'Yes- sorry, have we met?' The woman shook her head:
'No, we haven't.' She said nothing more but continued to gaze at Kirsten who started to wonder if she had escaped from a different unit of the hospital (possibly the 'old people who are going slightly senile' department') or if she had been overdosing on sedative.
'Can I help you?' she asked, hoping this would be the stimulus the old woman needed to return to her bed or just to wheel herself off to the bedside of another poor unsuspecting patient.
'Your husband is called Sandy Cohen.' Kirsten started to get more concerned now- this woman seemed to be acting rather like a stalker. She pondered whether ringing the bell by her bedside would be going a bit too far in order to get rid of her unwanted visitor.
Before she had decided what to do, the old woman spoke again and Kirsten was relieved to hear that this sentence was relatively sane-sounding:
'Sorry, dear, I'm being…very rude. They keep giving me these pills you see…' A nurse who was tending to the patient in the next door bed cut in:
'Mrs Clapham was in the same accident as you, Mrs Cohen.' Kirsten now understood- the effects of being constantly sedated were bound to have adverse effects people as old the one sitting next to her.
'Yes dear, thankyou. I'm just here to tell you that your husband is a very good man. A very brave man. He saved my life.' She put her wrinkled hand on top of Kirsten's and was about to continue when Seth suddenly appeared behind her. He looked at the old woman and wondered what she had said to make his mother cry.
'Hey, mum…' Kirsten suddenly noticed her son and gazed up at him with wide, tear-filled eyes.
A nurse hurried over: she was under strict orders not to put Mrs Cohen under any stress or emotion whatsoever as her sedation levels had recently been reduced. She hadn't heard what the wheelchair bound woman had said to Kirsten but she did see the effect it had had, and she laid her hands on the handles of the wheelchair, preparing to take Mrs Clapham back to her bed.
'If he didn't already have a wife like you, I might have gone for him myself.' Mrs Clapham cackled at her own joke as she was wheeled away from the bed.
'Wow, mum, you've got some competition there.' Seth knelt down next to his mother.
'She looks quite sprightly- good for her age. But don't worry, she's harnessed into her wheelchair very firmly so I don't there's much of a chance she could get at dad without having a heart-attack.' Tears continued to run down his mother's face; Seth hated to see this uncontrolled emotion and didn't know what more to say.
'I need Sandy.' She whispered. Seth had known this was going to come soon.
'Mum, that's not a good idea right now.' Her eyes filled with pain and concern.
'Why can't I see him Seth? You said he was going to be fine. I need to see him.' She looked so vulnerable and helpless; Seth had never seen his mother like this. Part of him wanted to grant her wish and take her to Sandy but the other part knew this would only increase her pain. He had no idea what to do and wished that his parents were able to tell him, but at the moment he seemed to be the one on whom they depended. He got up, removing his hand.
'Seth don't go, please…'. He wanted to burst into tears like a child but he knew this time there would be no one there to comfort him. He walked back from the bed, trying to tear his eyes away from his mother's distraught gaze.
'Are you ok? There's nothing you can do.' A nurse spoke softly to him and put her arm gently on his shoulder. She understood, although did not feel, the pain the boy was going through and proceeded to do the only thing she could to help him.
'I'm going to put her back on a higher dosage of sedative.' Seth nodded- the guilt he felt tore at his heart but he knew this was the only thing to do that would blank out his mother's pain for her. The nurse patted his back.
'Go home, get some rest. She'll be asleep in five minutes.' He turned and walked away from her bed, wishing there was some way of blanking out his own pain.