Okay, so remember last entry when I said Aunt Jessie forbids me from bending but she defended me from my father? I sorta stretched the truth on that one, maybe. I'm not so good with the whole putting-together-words-and-making-them-sound-good thing. Anyway, so here we go with the explanation. Aunt Jessie knew that firebenders would be after me too, but of course she was concerned for me and not just the entire family.

Does that even make sense? I mean, my own father wanted my death to see his wife happy and alive. Thank God Aunt Jessie lives with us, otherwise there's no telling how long ago he would have killed me…

Um, back to the plot I guess. You want to know something interesting, reader? Apparently people can bend in their sleep. Yup. I ran into this one cabbage cart when we were in Omashu, and he never really let me live it down. I had gone at least twenty-something hours without sleep, which sucked. At least there was plenty of food, but I kept talking in circles.

This is one of the reasons I'm letting Des take dictation, along with the fact that she has better spelling skills than I do. Yeah, she paid attention to Aunt Jessie's lessons when we were little and I was off either a) eating, or b) sleeping. Oh, God, sleep…..SLEEP, PLEASE!

Ahem. Sorry.

So then I bumped into a man whom I will affectionately call Crazy Cabbage Dude, and he seemed entirely too interested into the cabbages when I ran into him. I have to wonder if he has a girlfriend or if he's married to the stinking cabbages. What do you think, dear reader?

I really need to quit getting off-topic here, don't I? Ah well. Gives a sense of reality to you, doesn't it? So I'm looking at this cabbage dude, bags under my eyes (God, I would have killed for a mirror then), and I say "Whuh?"

"MY CABBAGES!" The man then yelled.

Thank God Aunt Jessie was watching, and yanked me away from the insane-in-need-of-a-huggy-jacket-cabbage-obsessed man. "Can't we just stop at an inn for once?" I groaned, looking at my aunt.

"I guess…" She groaned. I think she thought I needed to be on my guard at all times because of my wacko dad (who I believe may be only slightly crazier than the Cabbage Dude). So we set off with our money (which we had stolen from my father, yep!), and headed toward an inn.

I didn't wake up 'til….y'know, they never actually told me how long I slept, but I think it was a day or so. Is that possible? So we left a while after I woke up. We are walking the entire way to wherever we're going. My aunt's mad! Mad meaning crazy, not her usual mad angry. Actually, both are accurate descriptions. I feel sorry for my dad, actually. Dealing with her must've been heck.

Yeah, so after we left we were arrested for 'murder of cabbages'. Murder of cabbages? Cabbages can be killed? Gonna be a lot of farmers out of work, then, 'cos, y'know, even cutting them out of the ground MUST count as murder. But, then again, maybe not. I'm wrong most of the time, and I definitely wasn't wrong about that (being wrong).

I say, I'm really not that funny, am I? I'm no Stewie Griffin, that's for sure! Eh, how exactly do I know about Stewie Griffin? Humor purposes, I suppose. This is fanfiction, after all, the author decrees what happens. Don't kill the messenger and all that.

Um….so we spent the night in jail. It wasn't fun, but at least the food was OK.

I slept most of the time th-…..Zzzzz….