The New Enemy

Disclaimer: Star Fox, its trademarks, characters, etc. are owned by Nintendo. I do own, however, this story, and other characters that don't exist in the game.

There is more humor coming up! Thanks for the reviews by the way.

Episode 7: Nice Deals

Andrew Oikonny, the nephew of Andross who once waged invasion in Fortuna after taking his uncle's place, which failed, looked around the aesthetic sculptures of the corridor of a building. The door in front of him opened up, a sign meaning that he's summoned and the one who called him was ready.

"I am here, uh," the monkey gawked around the place. He saw nothing. "Uh… Hmm… strange, I don't see anybody…"

Oikonny, please take a seat…

Andrew just wondered who the heck spoke. He just sat down and looked around. "Uh, where are you?" He glanced to the seats of the conference table, but no one's there.

I am here…

"Where?"

Here!

"Where!"

Suddenly, a rodent dressed with a politician's clothing jumped out, trying to reach the table. He lunged towards the monkey and yelled, "How many times should I tell you, I am here? What's wrong with you apes?"

Oikonny was surprised to see the one who bade him. He was a small house pet. "Err… You must be that hamster they're talking about," he confirmed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'M NO HAMSTER! I'M A GUINEA PIG!" the rodent shouted out while jumping. "I am the great evil scientist Dr. Rodent Hamstermade!"

"So YOU are a hamster…"

"NO, NO, NO! GUINEA PIG, GUINEA PIG, GUINEA PIG!"

After a few minutes of clarification and debate of the difference between a guinea pig and a hamster, Dr. Hamstermade jumped down from the table and walked towards a monitor. "Ahem… Now, I called you, Andrew Oikonny, because…" He then glanced around. He noticed that he was too short to be seen. "Excuse me, could you hand those books here?" Andrew sighed out, grabbed a small pile of thick books, and placed it beside the rodent. The doctor stood on them, and now, he earned height!

"Anyway, I called you Oikonny, because I'm pretty sure you're fond of Star Fox and Galaxy Wulf, am I correct?"

Andrew wondered, "Wait… I know Star Fox, but who the heck is Galaxy Wulf! I think you meant Star Wolf."

"No! I know it's Galaxy Wulf! I'm pretty sure!"

Oikonny looked back at the cameras rolling behind them. He called the script director. "Excuse me; I think he messed up the script. He was supposed to say Star Wolf…"

Suddenly, a light-blue furred wolf entered the scene. He told them, "The script says it's Star Wolf! Don't mess it! How can I be here when I'm in the other story?"

"Oh yes," I told them while I relaxed myself to the director's chair. "Sorry about that, Wulf! Dr. Hamstermade, I'm sure it's Star Wolf. I guess you mistook some lines."

The rodent placed his spectacles and glanced back at his copy of the script. "Right… right… Sorry… Say, don't you have a take at the story you're in, Parasite Awaiting?"

"Oh, we just finished chapter four. I'm on a break. Sir Wolfox is actually giving me and my team less exposure nowadays…" Wulf grumbled as he walked passed me.

"Yeah, yeah… I'll make it up to you, someday," I told him. "Anyway… let's retry that scene again, okay?"

Take Two

"Anyway, I called you Oikonny, because I'm pretty sure you're fond of Star Fox and Star Wolf, am I correct?"

"Yeah, so what?" Andrew answered back with anxiety. "Don't you know me? I'm the Great Andrew Oikonny, ruler of the remains of Venomian forces! I've been kicked out, I mean, I left the pitiful Star Wolf so that I can rule my uncle's army. Plus, Star Fox gave me boo-boos."

"Blah-blah! I don't care about your drama, Mr. Soap Opera Monkey Boy!" Dr. Hamstermade shouted. "I just want to know if you know them! My true plan is…" Andrew glanced at him closely, wondering what this rodent's plan was. "My true plan is… TO BE KNOWN AT FUTURE CHAPTERS! MWAHAHAHA!"

"The kiddos are already in their quarters, and they're now asleep," Krystal told Fox as she sat beside him inside the bridge. "It makes me wonder though, how come they got tired while they barely show up in a chapter?"

"They'll be plot devices, you'll see," he smiled back. However, Peppy quickly slapped his mouth with a tape captioned "NO SPOILERS!"

Wolf looked around. He was covering himself with black bed sheets. After all the minutes that had passed, he didn't even bother putting clothes. He remained almost naked, aside with only those large sheets for cover. "At least no one's giving attention to me," he thought to himself.

"Wolf, you can't blend to your background by just covering yourself with objects!" Leon, who noticed him, objected as eh forcefully pulled those covers away from him. "You have to feel your environment! Focus them… Project them in your mind… You'll then see what they look like, and your body shall blend among the bushes and trees…" Before he could finish his phrase, the lupine gave a blow to him, leaving a black eye to the chameleon.

"Blend to your background, you lizard!" Wolf shouted as shook his fist at him. He then glanced at the floor to where the sheets were, but alas, they were not there!

"All right, I guess everything's here," Panther confirmed as he exited the bridge. "I'll do the laundry… And Mr. Cleanser and Dr. Clean mixture should clean these, right?"

The lupine dropped down to the floor. He wanted to stop him, but he didn't want to run around in his undies. Deep thinking, however, made him oblivious to the fact that Fox, now with the tape removed, Krystal, Falco, Slippy, and Peppy (and possibly Rob), were looking at him up to now.

"WOLF, YOU DIDN'T PUT FREAKING CLOTHES SINCE THE TIME WE LEFT TITANIA? R-O-F-L, MAN!" Falco laughed as he did the rofl.

"Well, I'm just trying to keep my word! You know that true wolves do that!" he explained his reason, or he's just excusing himself. "I gave a word that I'll always follow my daily color theme!"

"Good for you, O'Donnell!" Slippy, who apparently felt sorry for the lupine's state, told him. "It's five seconds before the next twenty-four hours!"

"Really?" he gave a look at the toad. He then thought, "Today's black… so… ah… mixed theme!" He rushed away from the bridge, but before doing so, he asked, "Say, pup, do you have any spare suits that would fit me?"

Fox didn't know the answer. Thankfully, Peppy knew it. "There's a spare in the storage room. It's clean and dust-free."

Without saying a word, the wolf dashed with a speed of running.

A few minutes passed, and Wolf entered back to the bridge. He was wearing an old Star Fox 64 issue uniform. It's complete with the scarf, grey jacket, green vest, and other stuff. "Ooh! Look at me," he snarled. "It comes along with the shades too!" He put on the black shades, and this made Leon gasp.

"Uh… Fox… You might want to take a look at this," he whispered to the vulpine as he pressed an ice bag to his black eye. "It's a ghost…"

Fox turned around. He didn't know it was Wolf. He thought he was… he was…

"Dad! Is that you! Oh my… I don't believe this!" he cried out as he grabbed Wolf's arm. "Hey! Peppy! It's dad! Look, you owe me an ice cream when I was four!" The lupine sighed in this reaction.

"Fox, clear!" Falco shouted as he pulled Fox away. He grabbed a fire extinguisher and spewed the contents to Wolf. "Eat foam, you ectoplasmic freak!"

Temper… temper… The wolf, with rage, grabbed the item and did the same thing to Falco. He sprayed foam to the bird, making him look like a snowman. "IT'S ME, YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU SEE THAT I AM WOLF? IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GHOST, I'LL TURN YOU INTO ONE!"

"Boys!" Peppy shouted, making them stop. "Anyway, that uniform fits perfectly to you, Wolf! You did fool us that you're James! You're wearing his uniform!"

"His… uniform?" he gasped. "I AM WEARING A DEAD PERSON'S OUTFIT! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!"

"Relax," Fox told him, making the hyperactive lobo halt. "It's not cursed or anything. Besides, Peppy's right, it fits you. I think I should give it to you… Yeah, I think I should." Wolf glanced at him, knowing that he was dead serious about his feelings. "Uh, anyway, we'll arrive at our destination for about ten hours more, so I suggest everyone to take a sleep. I'm sleepy…"

"Yeah, I'll sleep too," Wolf yawned out. He then walked beside him and whispered, "Thanks…"