The New Enemy

Disclaimer: Star Fox, its trademarks, characters, etc. are owned by Nintendo. I do own, however, this story, and other characters that don't exist in the game.

Episode 11: It's a Trap!

Ah yes, I was finally enjoying my free time from college. Yes, I had to use that free time to write stories. Anyway, I was busy trying to think for today's plot, especially when Lupina, a character of mine, appeared… and she had already made many appearances… What the heck… Back to topic, I was busy, when all of a sudden, my ex-employee, the stuntman for Fox McCloud, called me.

"Is this Mr. Ookamichan? It's Foxx, your employee. Remember? Well… you see… about the dart prop you got me hit during a scene?"

I gulped from his expression. Was the dart used in the previous chapter, the one that was supposed to be harmless, was actually poisonous? I asked him, "Why? Are you all right? Was there anything wrong with the dart?" I gasped, because I didn't want to handle any issues with my ex-employees.

"No sir! In fact, it did me great! I am now in fitness modeling! How good is that? Anyway, I called because I just want to tell you that the dart contained Super Buffer formula! Heh, it's much better than steroids! Uh… I just want you to know. You can see my snapshots at Cornerian Fitness mag! Bye!"

He hung up afterwards. I sighed in relief, knowing that it wasn't a complaint call. I wondered what hit his head for calling me. I thought about what he said too… Hmm, it made me wonder if Fox really made workouts or just took a dose of Super Buffer… Hmm… Anyway, onto the story…

"The name," the female lupine declared as she posed in a stance, "is Lupina Klaus!" Stanice, who was at the background, threw a basket of cherry blossoms for the newcomer's special effects. "How were those punches? I'm pretty sure you boys, even with those useless bulky bodies, couldn't do it!"

"Well, I wasn't really planning to do it," Fox commented as he grabbed the broken device, "and I wouldn't want to waste an expensive training device either! You owe me, sister!" However, she simply ignored him.

"Anyway, as I continue," she persisted, as if the two boys, Fox and Wolf, were listening to her, "The team in which I belong, Galaxy Wulf, received a report about a Class-A criminal roaming in Lylat! I wanted to show Wulf though, that I could do this alone, so I sneaked out and opted to stop that criminal…" She then started to point her index fingers to each other, blushing. "But then, I ran out of supplies, and well, I saw your flagship and contacted it, and a big scary-looking toad told me to go in… I was afraid, but there's no other choice…" Fox slapped his own face.

"Wait, you said Galaxy Wulf… and Wulf?" Wolf wondered. "I think I heard that name before! Ah yes, Galaxy Wulf, the author's main characters, his own team! I believe Fox and I have met them many times in different stories. Yes, even the one when we were evolved, and well… Ahem…" He then stepped away, leaving the two alone.

"What's gotten into him?" he asked anybody except Lupina. Pity caught me, so I gave Stanice a note, telling her to give it to him. When he read it, he was shocked. "Wow, this girl can be a terror! She did the move earlier to the evolved Wolf!"

She wondered why everybody was slowly moving away from her. She just sighed, and then asked, "Where's the guest's room? I'm pretty sure you have one! I'll stay for a while, until I get my fighter fixed, okay?" Before Fox could answer, she somehow knew that there was an empty quarter in the staff's corridor. She quickly fled without leaving a mark.

"Heh, know I wonder if Wulf really wanted to get rid of her," he muttered. Suddenly, his communicator beeped, loosening him from his funny feeling. The communication was suddenly cut off before he was able to answer it, though. However, it left something: coordinates! And that meant that it was a distress call…

"Falco, don't move!"

Panther shouted to the bird, who was simply walking towards the restroom. "Never move a nerve, for the position… It's perfect!" He was trying to paint, and well, he chose the alleyway heading to the lavatories as his work area. Unfortunately, the avian was his target.

"P-panther… I want to go to the release room, if you know what I'm talking about!" he muttered as sweat gradually filled his forehead. He wanted to unload, but the feline wasn't listening to him.

The feline grumbled as he stuck his thumb out, "No, no, no! The pose, it's perfect! I cannot lose it! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you lucky you!" He continued to scribble on his canvas, giving a hint to Falco that his work wouldn't be a masterpiece at all. It could be something messy and ugly… that a kindergartner could beat.

"Please, oh please!" Falco begged as he tried his best to hold his pee. Even though he wanted to move, he couldn't, since his whole body was somewhat numbed from his sudden stop. Perspiration covered his whole body.

"Don't worry, I am taking my time!" Panther grinned as he slapped a few more brushstrokes to the canvas. It wasn't long though, before he shouted, "Presto! Magnifico!" He then showed the artwork to the bird. It was wonderful! It was excellent! It was… a painting of a still subject… the vase with flowers! "Thank you for standing still, Falco! If you didn't stop, I could've lost my concentration on the subject and gave up…!"

Falco was immensely angered by this. He was about to thrust something to the feline, when all of a sudden, he felt that his pants were wet. "Huh?" he wondered, and realized that his holding skills weren't good enough. He peed with his pants! Panther almost died laughing from the scene. "Shit… This is a real boner…" He grabbed the vase of flowers and dumped the water of it to himself.

"Damnation," Fox shouted as he rode his Arwing. "My uniform doesn't fit me at all!" He tried to zip up, but he couldn't. He was lucky enough that his pants still fit, but his uniform just didn't want to cooperate. "Grr! I guess I won't have to waste my time on this! I better call Slippy to make me a new uniform." Before leaving, he was surprised to see Krystal.

"Where are you going, pup?" she asked with a giggle. Fox knew why.

"Stop mimicking Wolf, since it doesn't fit you," he answered back with a laugh, "and… I'm just going to surf... the space! I hadn't ridden in this baby for months!" She smiled and cleared the way for take-off. The Arwing blasted off through outer space.

The fighter followed the location of the coordinates. "Hmm, the location pin-points to that white nebula," he nodded. He then boosted towards the cloud formation, not realizing the dangers around. It wasn't long before something - a white blinding flash - hit him…

"Ahh…"

"Where…?"

Fox suddenly flipped up as he woke up from the flash. He realized that he was restrained to a metal bed, and he was stripped down to his underwear! He suddenly shrieked, "WHERE AM I? WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?"

A monkey with a hamster on top of his head approached him. "Ah, if it isn't the great Fox McCloud, affected by the Super Buffer formula! Are you currently in turmoil?" Hamstermade asked sinisterly.

"Yeah, I couldn't wear anything!" Fox shouted back. "Now, get me out of here and give my clothes back! What are you up to, anyway?"

"Do you really want to know?" Andrew asked as he rubbed his hands with glee. "Okay then… Activate, Bitter Laughter torturing machine!"

Suddenly, robotic arms with feathers appeared from the sides of the bed. Some had hands too. They then approached the vulpine's body, and well, the fox knew what would happen. The feathers started to quiver to his ears and armpits. The hands rubbed on his ribs. Some feathers swiveled on his areolas and navel, and some brandished at his sole. He burst out in laughter, but he couldn't move at all. He was laughing painfully. He cried in laughter! He was laughing like there was no tomorrow!