The sounds of whistling birds filled the room from outside. They continued singing their songs as rays from the sun cascaded down on Buffy's tired face through the shades. The Slayer was slightly disoriented, wondering where she was. She was used to waking up in a nice, comfier bed back in Rome. Now she was stretched out on a noisy, hard mattress in an empty room. She groaned, still wanting to sleep but something was keeping her from sleeping and she remembered.
Spike.
She sat up in the creaky bed and smiled knowing that she now had something to really look forward to today. Yawning and stretching, she got herself out of bed and made her way into the hallway. She guessed it was probably about noon and she wanted to ready herself for the day.
Strangely, the hallway suddenly turned from a modern walkway to a wild jungle. Vines ripped out of the walls from each side and plants bloomed from the carpet. The carpet's colors blended from creamy white to a ripe green as grass sprouted out. The ceiling's colors shifted from a pale white color to a deep, dark blue. The hard ceiling then transformed from solid to a sky, with bright stars shining down on Buffy's face.
She just stood there, completely perplexed. Standing her ground, she walked steadily, turning her head in every direction to see if anything was to attack. The jungle made its animal sounds and nature took its course. It became clear to Buffy that she wasn't in Rhona's condo anymore. She could hear owls and growling in the distance. Crickets were chirping and the wind blew gently, slapping her hair around. There was a full moon and it was brighter and bigger than ever. She fell in love with the view but she grew hesitant. Buffy continued walking forward for she didn't know what else to do.
"Stars… pretty," Buffy kept herself company. Suddenly, she became a bit cold. She was still wearing the same bedtime attire, a tank top and some soft pajama pants. And the worst thing was that she was barefoot.
"Ow!" Buffy grunted as a thorn cut through her barefoot. She jumped up and down in agony and lifted her foot to examine it. It was a decent sized thorn sticking in her foot and she needed to get it out. Buffy found it simple enough as she ripped it out with a groan.
"Note to self…wear shoes to bed," Buffy murmured to herself. She was well aware that this must be a dream. A dream that seemed very real. Too real. It felt almost as real as her Slayer dreams. The Slayer looked to the ground to make sure nothing else would be stabbing at her feet. She inspected the ground only briefly because she had to keep an eye out for some jungle creature… or a demon.
Buffy continued walking, taking in every inch of her surroundings. It seemed as if she was walking through endless jungle. Nothing new came in sight but something new came to her ear. Some twigs were breaking and some branches were moving. She could hear it quite well. Turning into full Slayer-mode, she snapped a huge, thick branch off of a tree. It took a moment but her Slayer strength kicked in and she was ready for a fight. The noise continued.
The Slayer turned towards the sound, using her senses. She gripped the branch tighter in her hands and watched the bushes and plants shake. First they shook gently as if other plants near it were setting it off from the motion, but then the plants shook violently. A figure came into sight as it ripped out of the bushes. It hissed in a low growl and Buffy raised the branch in a fighting stance.
"Hello, love," Spike hissed. He had his game face on and he looked as if he were out for blood. Slayer blood. Buffy's eyes widened. This all reminded her of the times when she was just a teenager and Spike wanted to kill her.
"Spike, what are you do-"
"I'm killing you, that's what I'm doing! Doesn't take a bloody scientist to figure that out," Spike grinned, his amber demon eyes glowing in the night. Buffy bit her teeth together hard.
"Why?"
"What the hell kinda question is that, Slayer? I've wanted to kill you all year, and you know that." Buffy wasn't surprised. She knew this was all a dream and she was no longer scared. She felt as if she wasn't even capable of being afraid of Spike anymore anyways. No matter what condition he was in. She sighed and took a seat on the ground.
"Right, you're the ghost of Christmas past," she muttered as she stared at the ground, bored. Spike shook off his game face and crept closer. He was confused as to why Buffy wasn't fighting, running, or throwing one of her world-famous puns at him. She made no motion as he grabbed her by the shoulders.
"Well I guess this will be easier than I thought!" He smirked. Buffy looked up at him and rolled her eyes. Her shoulders tensed at his touch but she still didn't struggle to get out of his hold. He threw her up against a tree. Spike chuckled and Buffy fell to the ground with a small grunt. The evil Spike stalked towards her slowly as she lifted her head to look at him. Buffy stood to her feet before him and stared into his deadly gaze.
"Try all you want. You're not gonna do it anyways," Buffy shrugged as she leaned up against the tree that Spike had thrown her into. Spike became annoyed at the fact that he smelt no fear in her whatsoever. He growled.
"Right, love. Coz' it's not like I never killed any Slayers before. I'm sure I can kill you. Especially since I have such an advantage now… with you being all… unafraid. And why is that?" Spike's face was scrunched up in confusion.
"Cause' you love me too much to kill me." Buffy sighed impatiently, waiting for this session of the dream to be over. She had a feeling there'd be more small sessions of this dream or premonition or whatever she would call it. She'd already gone through this too many times to not know. Spike stared at her, shocked. He then laughed aloud.
"Yeah!" Spike spat as he continued laughing, "that would be the bloody day!" Buffy laughed at how Spike was so determined that it wasn't possible. He paused and looked at her. "What the hell are you laughing about, Slayer?"
"You," she chuckled as her eyes shifted from him back to the ground, "saying how you would never love me. It's funny, I mean really. Ironic actually. Especially since I'm future-Buffy in this case and you're past-Spike."
"What are you goin' on about?" Spike wondered and Buffy looked back up at him.
"Admit it, Spike. You've always had an odd fixation with me anyways. Even now. Even if you want to kill me," Buffy looked at him, seductively. She wanted to play around a little. She needed something to make this dull dream go by quicker.
"Well, yeah," Spike tilted his head and smiled wickedly, "there was always just something about you, Slayer."
"And I'm surprised to see you admit it that fast," she replied as she folded her arms together and inhaled.
"You know me, I'm honest."
"Yep."
"So why don't I wanna kill you anymore?" Spike pouted as he leaned up against the tree next to Buffy. "You ruined the mood."
"Sorry about that," Buffy focused on the ground as Spike studied her, "I guess that's just what I do." Spike shrugged at that and Buffy turned her head to him. "So why are we in the jungle?"
"Dunno," Spike answered. They shared a look. Before anything else could occur, Spike's form became distorted. The jungle scenery that surrounded Buffy became blurred.
"Spike?" Buffy called as the atmosphere around her twisted and turned around her. She became a bit dizzy. Everything became completely contorted and Buffy closed her eyes to relax herself. She opened them again and everythingwas black. Spike was gone and so was the jungle. Looking up, she saw that the sky was gone, too. No more light. All dark. Except for some candles glowing…
Buffy examined her new location and knew right away where she was. Spike's crypt. The oriental rugs were set under her feet and a very much familiar bed stood a few feet away from her.
"Well," Buffy nodded to herself, "won't this be an interesting little session of my dream."
Buffy felt relieved that this was part of her dream. She'd much rather have the Spike who adored her than the one who wanted to kill her. Buffy smiled to herself to actually hear herself think that when about five years ago she loathed the thought of him loving her. Buffy felt her senses tingle and this is the part where he…
"Mmm, Buffy," Spike whispered as he shoved her against the wall. Buffy remembered this quite well. It was during the time when she was depressed and she came to Spike for fleeting comfort. Spike placed his left hand on her hip and his right hand on the other side of her on the wall, to lock her in place against the wall. He stared at her with his deep, lustful blue eyes. Buffy closed her eyes in remembrance. She kind of missed it… especially since feelings have changed. But then she remembered that this was when he was soulless. This was when he couldn't feel anything real. But she shook it off quickly. At that moment, she really didn't care. And to show it, she grabbed his head and threw herself at him hungrily, kissing every inch of his face.
She missed the feel of him. Even if this was just a dream, she'd missed it. The last time she was this close to him was three years ago on the last night in Sunnydale. Thinking of that night made her pull him closer as their tongues danced in a passion of heat. She fell back on Spike's bed as he landed on her, never breaking their kiss. Spike's hands wandered around her back and back to her hips. Buffy pulled away to catch a breath of air and so did Spike although he didn't need it. Buffy looked into the blue ocean before her. His eyes… oh his eyes. She had never seen such beautiful eyes in her life. Spike slid his hand up to Buffy's cheek and stroked it as their foreheads rested on eachother.
Buffy had to tell him. She felt like she needed to tell him right then and there. Even if it was just a dream and even if he was soulless at the moment. Oh God, she wanted to tell him so bad.
"Spike," Buffy whispered as their eyes never left eachother. Spike continued softly stroking her cheek. "I… I love-"
But before she could finish, everything became distorted again. The candle-lit crypt blurred together and all of the colors of the room blended into one dark, solid color. Suddenly, Spike disappeared along with the rest of the crypt. Buffy sighed as she was still in the same laying down position. Everything became black and faded again. But this time, there was barely any color. There were no candles blazing and no stars in the sky. Not even any sounds of jungle creatures. Instead, she noticed that she had been placed in a cave. A dark, damp cave with carvings in the walls.
"Why did that last part of my dream have to be so brief?" Buffy muttered in annoyance. She sat up and looked around. Nothing seemed to interest her much although the fact that she was in a quiet cave creeped her out. It was too quiet. She hopped to her feet quickly, scraping off the debris on her legs. There were carvings on the wall and that's all Buffy's eyes could make out. The cave was too dark and she had a huge urge to pull out a flashlight.
The carvings were of people and demons. Buffy couldn't quite make out the pictures they made on the solid wall but she did have a feeling that danger was near. Her senses had come full throttle and she cracked her neck. She knew there was a demon near by but she couldn't tell where. The darkness made it harder for her. She took a look around and her eyes finally started to adjust to the blackness. She spotted a lit torch in the distance and made her way to it.
The torch led to a series of other torches which lit a pathway. The Slayer's instincts kicked in and she knew she had to follow. With every torch passing by, she grew more and more hesitant. She was near the end of the pathway because she could see another part of the cave from the distance. It came closer and closer as she continued walking. And as she neared the end, she heard noises growing louder. Buffy heard grunting and punching. There was a fight going on. Her curiosity only forced her pace to quicken. Taking longer strides, she finally reached the end of the pathway. And then when she heard it… his voice…and then turned the corner, watching him wave his hand around in pain.
"Bad move, bad move, bad move…" Spike held his burning hand. Buffy turned her attention towards the guy whom Spike was fighting. He was big, tall and had huge muscles. His fists were blazing with fire and Buffy could sense that he wasn't human although he looked it. Buffy watched them fight once more. Spike ducked from the muscled guy and grabbed his arm, flipping him onto his back. Buffy was about to engage on the fight but then Spike kicked the muscle guy in the groin, flipping him over. Buffy just watched for Spike was winning anyways. Spike straddled the muscle guy's shoulder, grabbing his head and twisting it violently… making the demon's neck break.
"Spike!" Buffy yelled as she watched him straighten up. Spike didn't answer. He only looked off at something else in the distance as if Buffy wasn't even there.
"Spike!" Still no answer. Buffy finally noticed that she wasn't seeable. Spike didn't even know she was there. All she could do was watch… like a ghost.
"Looks like local boy loses," Spike panted as a big demon with fierce green-ish eyes appeared.
"So it would appear."
"Good on me, then. I get what I came for. I passed, right?"
"Indeed. You have passed the first stage of the test." Spike relaxed his shoulders. He was shirtless and Buffy noticed that he was beaten pretty badly. She tried to think about when this took place and where. Why is Spike here?
"Right, I get," suddenly Spike paused, "wait. First stage?" There was silence as the demon disappeared once again. "Bugger." Suddenly another demon came into view. Buffy suddenly came to a realization. Her eyes widened.
"This is when… trials… stages…. Oh my God, this is when Spike… got his soul…. For me," Buffy whispered to herself. She watched Spike fight the demon in amazement. This was the longest part of her dream so far. It seemed as if it went on for hours. She remembered Spike telling her how he went through hours and hours of torture and pain. And she finally got to see what he meant. It broke her heart. She felt so bad that she drove him to do this for her. For hours and hours, she watched him fight for her, to get his soul back. She couldn't watch it anymore, she couldn't bare it. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She could still hear him screaming in pain from the torture and the trials. She couldn't take it… she just couldn't.
Suddenly, swift winds blew through her. The scene of Spike being beaten up faded quickly. Right as it faded, something a little new came to view. She was still in that same, musty cave but now Spike wasn't being tortured. He was lying limp on the ground, full of bruises and wounds. Buffy came to the conclusion that her dream had just fast-forwarded in time. She was glad though. She couldn't stand watching Spike get hurt like that. But now she had to see the aftermath. Buffy just waited…
"You have endured the required trials," the demon's deep voice echoed through the cave.
"Bloody right I have," Spike replied with a raspy, weak voice.
Spike slowly, in agony pushed himself up onto his knees. He had so many wounds and injuries. Buffy frowned at the sight.
"So you'll give me what I want. Make me what I was. So Buffy can get what she deserves."
"Very well," the demon sneered. Spike just stood there, watching the demon nervously. Buffy
paid close attention.
"We will return…" The demon reached out his hand and touched Spike's chest, "your soul!"
Spike's chest illuminated full of a fiery yellow-orange color, his eyes bursting out with the same light. Buffy watched him scream in agony as he threw his head back. She closed her eyes. In that moment, she felt so much love. Never in her life had she ever have any man of any form do anything that extreme for her. She felt as if she didn't deserve it although she knew Spike thought she did. She inhaled deeply as the world circled around her once more. The cave shook and everything became a blur. Buffy stood still and waited for the next part of the dream to come. Although she wished it would end already.
Opening her eyes, she saw the moonlight cascading down on a beautiful face. Spike's beautiful face. She looked around at her new location, still a bit disoriented and noticed that they were in the church. The same church that Spike told her he had gotten his soul.
"It's what you wanted, right?" Spike asked, emotion filling his voice, "It's what you wanted, right?" He yelled louder, looking at the ceiling. He continued talking and Buffy remembered every word he'd said. She could just say it along with him if she wanted.
"And- and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did… and everyone I- and him… and it… the other, the thing beneath—beneath you. It's here, too. They all just tell me go… go… to hell."
Buffy wasn't as shocked this time because she obviously already knew all of this. What shocked her more is that she cried even harder than before. Tears streamed down her face continuously. She started sobbing. Especially after everything she had just saw him do for her, it hit her harder than before.
"Spike."
"Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev—to be a kind of man." Sadness filled his voice as he walked to the crucifix. "And she shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved."
"So everything's okay, right?" Spike rested himself on the crucifix. Buffy watched his body burn on the cross as it sizzled. Smoke raised from his limp body.
"Can—can we rest now? Buffy… can we rest?"
Buffy's eyes were filled with tears as there were many other tears streaming down her face already. The church started rumbling and everything became contorted for the last time. The world spun around Buffy once more as she closed her eyes. Suddenly, everything felt completely back to normal. The heat of the sun was hitting her face through the window.
Buffy quickly shot up to a sitting position, panting and catching her breath. She felt a tear on her face already.
"A dream… yes, a dream…" she murmured to herself as she took in her surroundings. Her heart was racing fast and she looked around the room to make sure she wasn't dreaming anymore. She wasn't. Buffy lifted the blanket over herself reluctantly and hopped out of bed. Opening the bedroom door, she heard a familiar voice from downstairs.
"So, we decided to come here! For extra help! I mean, I'm good at research-mode and stuff," the familiar voice said as Buffy raced down the stairs to see who it was. Rhona, Monica, Faith and Robin stood in the family room speaking with Dawn and… Andrew. Dawn looked up at Buffy and smiled as Andrew gave her a girly wave.
"Dawn!"
A/N: Ah, I love your guys' reviews! Thanks! Reviews make me smile and give me the motivation to update sooner! (Which I will anyways!) Heh. Questions? Comments? I still need a beta, by the way. :)