Back in their cozy subterranean home, the family celebrates their hard-fought victory. "Pretty Vacant" plays on the turntable. Spike sits on the bed, his pants off and a bandage around his right upper thigh. Elektra dances for him to the Sex Pistols, which is always difficult. After being teased long enough, Spike bounds off his one good leg and pins Leks against the wall, kissing and pawing the enraptured girl. Drusilla and Devlin sit on the couch, making out. Dev keeps trying to remove her clothes, but Dru demurs. Finally, to calm the worked-up boy, she pulls his head to her chest, stroking his hair and caressing his face as she sings a lullaby:
"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, Devlin, not while I'm around."
The song is from "Sweeney Todd," Stephen Sondheim's musical about a London barber who kills his customers and has his wife bake them into pies to sell them to the unsuspecting public.
"No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you, not to worry, whistle I'll be there," Devlin responds. The lilting melody contrasts sharply with the Pistols. Dru tries to rock him to sleep to an entirely separate melody playing only in her head. "I mean that mom," Dev adds. "I could gaze into your eyes all night." Spike, having finished manhandling Elektra, tosses the gleeful girl to the floor. She stares at the water dripping from the ceiling and smiles ear to ear.
"Mind if I cut in," he asks the smooching couple. Dru stands up, and her man takes her in his arms. She purrs. "Care for a nightcap, luv?" Dru growls and snaps her jaws.
"Mind if I cut out," Dev asks bitterly as he lights up a cigarette.
"Me too," Elektra says as she rushes over to her brother.
"But you've had a long night, deary."
"Shouldn't you stay in and lick your wounds," Spike suggests.
"I'd rather you lick them for me."
"I thought I already did."
"Let Dev," Dru offers to Leks. "He's a lovely licker."
"Are you insane," Leks asks before laughing, along with Spike. Dev doesn't appreciate the joke at his mother's expense. "Dev'll look out for me. He's the King of Careful."
"All right," Spike says with a sigh. "Bloody kids these days. You take good care of her, son."
"Don't worry dad. She'll come back with all her parts. Some of them might not be attached." The rest of the family does not care for Dev's dark humor at this moment.
"Have fun," Spike finally responds. "Remember your curfew."
"What if it's cloudy," Leks whines.
"Clouds can melt," Dru replies.
"I'll bring her back, even if I have to knock her unconscious and drag her back," Dev promises.
Dru senses her boy still feels neglected and walks up to her son, licks his right cheek, and whispers "you were brilliant tonight" into his right ear before biting the earlobe. It's the first time she's ever called him brilliant, and this perks the boy right up. That, and her right hand grabbing his crotch.
"Won't be long before we're killing Slayers together," Spike promises, further boosting his son's spirits. Dev and Leks walk out. He pulls on her long hair. She hits his shoulder, and they roughhouse before ascending to street level. Dev's not hungry, and Leks is less hungry than usual. But no child likes to be around when their parents are doing it. Especially when the children want to do the parents themselves.
"You're grumpy," she tells her brother.
"I'm always grumpy."
"Is it cause mummy won't have you?"
"In the sense that that would make me happy, yes."
"Do you ever daydream about her? What's your favorite fantasy?"
"This isn't a crush," he replies, denigrating her feelings for Spike. "I care deeply for Drusilla. It's more than sexual attraction."
"My favorite one is when we're in the Bahamas. I bring him pretty girls. He brings me cute boys. We feast, then go sailing, and skinny dip in the ocean. We make love on the beach under the stars. Then go home and sleep, and make more love, and eat the people we keep stashed in the basement for a midday snack. And sometimes, we drive into town and go shopping, then just race down the roads on his motorbike - "
"Spike has a motorbike in your dream? What kind?"
"I dunno. Doesn't matter."
"Yes it does. Is it a scooter? Dad would never drive a scooter."
"Whatever he drives, he drives it really fast. And I'm holding so tight I'm almost cracking his ribs. Then I get in front of him, and we kiss, and we do it, and we're going like ninety while we're doing it, and the wind's blowing through my hair - "
"Cheesy."
"No it's not," she yells, slapping his face as they walk down the empty street.
"It's cheesy. And tacky. And lame."
"Oh yeah! What's your fantasy?"
"We're in Vienna. I'm wearing a tux. She's in this incredible red gown, and we're waltzing in a palace."
"Bor-ing!"
"We go to the opera, and I grab the hat check girl and take her to our private box. Then, during the opera, we slowly drain her. Make her last through the whole first act. During the intermission, we walk through the lobby hand-in-hand. And she's wearing these white lace gloves."
"Bor-ing!"
"Any idiot can imagine eating and screwing. It's the other stuff that takes creativity and refinement."
"With Spike, there wouldn't be any time for the other stuff," she replies with a smile. "Ooh. Look at her," she says, pointing to a woman on the other side of the street.
"I'm not in the mood."
"You're never in the mood." Leks runs several blocks to the north and west, honing in on the next nearest warm body. "I could definitely sink my teeth into him."
"You can do better. Even at this late hour."
"See, this is what I love about being a vampire."
"I thought you loved the killing?
"That too."
"And the Spike ravaging."
"That definitely too. But I also love the choosing. Every person I see, I get to decide, does he living or does he die. We're gods!"
"No. We're just killers. In the big scheme of things, even vampires are pawns, powerless to control their own destiny."
"Gawd, you're a bummer. If you didn't keep saving my life, I'd totally ditch you for someone way cooler."
"Guess who," Elektra asks Alexander from behind as he gets his books out of his locker. Alex jumps.
"Alexa!"
"Did I scare you?"
"Uh, no. I'm just, uhh - "
"Did you think about me in class?"
"Y-y-yeah. I-I-I guess I did."
"Time to stop thinking."
"W-w-what do you wanna do?"
"Relax. Just put these books away," she says before throwing them in the locker and slamming the door, "and follow me," she concludes, grabbing his hand.
"Wait."
"Why?"
"I can't just - "
"Yes you can." She leans in and kisses him lightly on the lips, brushing her body against his. "Now let's hurry. We don't have all day."
"Hurry where?"
"Downstairs, silly." Elektra grabs his arm and leads him to a door.
"Isn't that locked?" She grabs the handle and rips the door open.
"No." Perhaps this should have tipped Alex off. But Alexa was very pretty, and who was he to turn down a few minutes of groping? Alex follows the siren downstairs. She pulls him close, they start to kiss, and Elektra flips on the lights.
"Why'd you do that?"
"Down you wanna see me," she asks, taking off her shirt. Alex's jaw drops.
"Oh, oh, I, uh, uh, I didn't know we were, I didn't know you'd - "
"Relax. And count your blessings." Elektra locks lips with him again as she undoes his shirt.
"Mummy said the weirdest thing to me just now," Elektra tells Devlin as they continue walking the deserted streets of downtown Manhattan.
"She always says weird things. You'll get used to it."
"She wants me to fuck you."
"What?"
"You heard me. Isn't that gross? No offense."
"None taken. It's disgusting!"
"Hey! You don't think I'm hot?"
"You're pretty."
"Thank you."
"And?"
"And what?"
"You're supposed to say I'm handsome."
"But you're not." Devlin looks a little hurt.
"Maybe not compared to Spike."
"No Devlin. Not, period."
"Thanks a lot. I've saved your life twice - in a month!"
"I know. And I love you for it," she maintains, wrapping her arms around her brother. "But that doesn't change the fact you're not hot."
"Spike also thinks we should do it."
"What?" Elektra lets go of Dev and looks concerned.
"He was wondering why I haven't nailed you."
"Don't I get a say in the matter?"
"As the baby in the family, no. Not that I'd ever take advantage of my status against your will."
"Spike wants me to fuck you? That sucks! He should want me to fuck him. I'd do anything for him, and this is how he treats me?"
"I guess he figured I'd be less obsessed with mom if someone else was in the mix." Leks thought she was sired to be Spike's plaything. Not Devlin's. This raised serious existential issues for her.
"I don't believe it. You're lying."
"Why would I lie about incest? It's disgusting!"
"Totally. I guess it was normal in the olden days when mum and daddy were growing up. But there was also slavery. And sexism."
"Yes. Some things are better left in the past," Dev deadpans, mildly confused by his sister's analogy.
"If daddy wants me to find a boy, then I'll find a boy. But it's gonna be my choice."
"Oh God. Oh God," Alex moans, shocked by what is transpiring. Elektra hated it when men invoked the Almighty at times like this. It made what she was doing seem bad. And not in a good way.
"You are one dynamite boy," Elektra responds as she rocks back and forth, her hands on his chest so she can feel his heart race.
"This wasn't what I was expecting."
"Even better, isn't it?" She leans down and licks and kisses his neck so she can feel his pulse on her lips and tongue.
"Are you, are we safe?"
"Don't worry, Alex. I'm no dummy." She kisses him on the mouth, biting his lip before arching her body back up. "Best lunch period ever, huh?"
"Oh. Oh God. Oh, oh Alexa." What keeps racing through Alex's his head is that this is too good to be true. Here was this girl he barely knew throwing herself on top of him. Kind of like how Harmony was too good to be true.
"Is something wrong, Alex?" He looks worried to her. That is not a look Leks is used to seeing when she's naked and on top of a man. He sits up and starts kissing her breasts. That was better. She holds his head to her chest, not knowing Alex is listening for her heart, which he fails to hear. Alex looks at her, their faces barely an inch apart.
"Are you a, a - " She interrupts his stammering to kiss him again. The boy was beginning to have performance issues, which did not happen to men when they were with her. "Vampire?" Elektra starts giggling.
"You mean a vamp?"
"No." Elektra slams his back to the ground and pins his arms. "You are one."
"One what?"
"A vampire."
"Vampires aren't real."
"Yeah they are."
"How do you know?" Elektra starts laughing. "You mean I'm not your first? How kinky."
"I don't believe this. I don't fucking believe this," he says to himself as he struggles to escape.
"Relax, Alex. I just wanna have some fun. Nothing serious."
"Did Harmony tell you? Is this her way of - "
"Did you just say Harmony," Leks asks, her teeth coming out and her eyes going yellow.
"Aiigghhhh," he screams, never having seen a vampire's true face. Elektra grabs his neck with her left hand.
"Stop being such a baby and tell me what that awful, awful name means to you."
"Help!" She squeezes his neck.
"Someone comes, you die, then they die. Keep your mouth shut, get me off, and everybody lives. It's a no-brainer. Now I'm going to let you breathe so you can tell me about this Harmony." She stops strangling Alex.
"We met at a party."
"You fucked her?"
"Uh-huh."
"Gawd! I don't fucking believe this! That bitch! That clumsy, untalented bitch!" She gets off Alex and puts her shirt back on. He stands up and tries to flee, but his pants are around his ankles. "Forgot you shirt," she says, throwing it in his face. "I find a perfect little stud muffin and she has to ruin it for me. What did I ever do to her?"
"I don't know what, um, I don't wanna know . . . bye." His pants up and his shirt on but unbuttoned, he tries to get away, but Elektra grabs Alex and throws him against the wall.
"Not so fast, stud muffin." Alex shakes as he watches Leks slowly saunter towards him, a bare light bulb illuminating her awful yet still alluring features. "Boys don't run away from me." She caresses his face, then kisses it. He can't believe his bad luck.
"Why me? Why does this keep happening to me?" Elektra returns to her human face. Once again, she looks so innocent. So terribly innocent.
"Let's see . . . you're hot. And you smell good."
"What," he asks as she leans in to sniff and fondle him.
"Some boys give off a scent that draws us to them. Face it – you're demon bait." She gives him a little peck on the lips, turns and walks away. He stands there, terrified. Right before climbing up the stairs she turns around. "By the way, if it wasn't for Little Debbie Owen, you'd be dead by now. Maybe you should start hanging around her. She's the only one who can protect you from us." And with that, she disappears. Perhaps her name-dropping will cause this handsome boy to hang around Debbie, and perhaps she'll far for him and dump Devlin. It was worth a shot. Anything to separate her brother from the Slayer.
"You called?" Fred turns around.
"Devlin!"
"I hope I didn't scare you." She giggles.
"Please. You're really not that scary." Devlin winces.
"Who's a guy gotta kill to get respect around here," he darkly jokes. Fred shivers.
"Here's the information." He opens the envelope and takes a look.
"Trials, leaps of faith . . . where's the souls for sale?"
"They cost a lot. Sorry Devlin."
"I have five hundred thousand in the bank. If need be, I could probably leverage a million."
"Dollars?"
"No, Yen. Of course dollars. You find the guy, I'll find the money." Fred's dubious of his boast.
"How does a vampire get that kind of money?"
"A lot of bad people will pay good money for my services."
"You mean like a hitman?"
"For starters. Now go order someone to find out about monetary offers. I'm only going to jump through flaming hoops if I absolutely have to. Unlike my dad, I weigh my options before deciding."
"Sure. I'll see what I can do to help." Better than doing Wolfram & Hart's nefarious bidding. "By the way, I think it's great you're doin' this." Fred smiles. Dev smiles.
"You're very sweet." He takes a long pause. "How do you and Spike get along?"
"Um, great." She's a little surprised by the question.
"Really! Are you close?"
"Kinda."
"You would consider him a friend?"
"Yeah. You bet."
"Interesting," he says with a smirk. "It's funny to think of all the fun things the Spike I knew would have done to you if you ever met him." Fred does not look amused. "Well, it's funny to me. I guess that will change when I get my soul. Thanks for the info, friend." Devlin leaves as Fred quivers. He may not be scary, but he sure is creepy.
"What if I chase the homeless man into the street so he gets hit by a car," Elektra asks Devlin. "That way, I can eat him, plus the driver."
"You cause a traffic accident, you cause a public scene. We shouldn't go causing public scenes where we spend the day." Dev's great fear is being staked in his sleep.
"You're no fun," she pouts.
"That's why mommy and daddy want me to watch over you. Too much fun can be deadly."
"Too much fun can also be wonderful."
"Race you to the top," Dev says, pointing to a twenty story office building. Leks smiles, runs over and leaps onto the facade. She beats Dev to the summit by five seconds.
"Slowpoke."
"It's a pointless skill."
"What if you need to get away from humans?"
"I can still scale a building faster than them," Devlin jokes. "It's not like we have to worry about Spiderman."
"I wish superheroes were real."
"Who's to say they're not," Devlin jokes. "Not too long ago, neither of us thought vampires were real."
"That makes no sense."
"You think you know everything that's out there?"
"Mummy and daddy tell me stories."
"I'm sure there's stuff out there even they haven't seen."
"Like Boy Slayers?"
"In your dreams."
"Hey! Who told you about that?"
"Does it change how you look at the world, being a vampire," he asks as they gaze at the taller skyscrapers nearby, like the MetLife and Woolworth buildings.
"You're damn right! I wasn't always trying to get with boys when I was human. Or wanting to kill them."
"I meant, does knowing vampires are real change how you see the world?" Elektra doesn't get it.
"I AM a vampire."
"So, doesn't it blow your mind that's even possible?"
"It's really cool. I have all these abilities. I can jump off this building and live."
"I'm still getting used to the concept of there being this whole other world that the regular world doesn't know about. By the way, I wouldn't try jumping. We're not indestructible. Think about tonight." He thinks about it for a few seconds. "Were you scared?"
"No."
"Not even when they had you on the ground?"
"I knew daddy would save me. He never loses."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Daddy is indestructible," Elektra angrily yells, grabbing Dev.
"Are you trying to throw me off?"
"Nobody talks jive about Spike!" Devlin puts his kid sis in a headlock and they horse around for a while near the ledge. He eventually grabs her legs and dangles her over the edge. She screams with delight.
"Scared now?"
"Do it! I'll just fly away." Dev pulls his sister back up.
"We can't fly."
"You can't. Gimme time. I'll learn how." Dev lights up a smoke and travels to the other side of the roof to look north towards the Empire State Building.
"Hey! Wait up!" She scurries after him. He tosses her a cigarette and a lighter and she lights up as well, in imitation of Spike. "I'm gonna fly. I can do anything." He exhales through his nose.
"Say you can. What happens when someone shoots you down?"
"You are such a party pooper." She charges him, he leaps away and they bound after one another twenty stories up.
File in hand, Devlin goes upstairs to see Harmony. He's wearing black jeans, a gray tank top and a black trench coat. Her eyes light up when she sees him. "Dev! I mean, Dev," she adds in a conspiratorial whisper, sitting back down.
"Relax. We're alone. Where's your boss?"
"Saving someone or, something. I dunno."
"Don't care?"
"Not really." Devlin looks down at her with his mischievous half-smile and his twinkling eyes that appear to hide a thousand half-thought-out schemes.
"Have you done anything with the money?"
"Money? Oh! That. I've been laying low," she whispers. "Until the heat is off."
"You ever miss killing?" The question takes her by surprise. She prefers not to think about that, since it would only tempt her.
"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know." Then her face tightens as she realizes he's being hypocritical. "Wait a second. You gave up killing, too. And it was a choice!"
"No one forced you to take this job."
"No one forced you to sleep with a Slayer."
"Touche. We each get compensated in our own way."
"Yeah, but you're the one getting a soul. Is that why you're here? Did they put it in already?"
"No. I'm still potentially bad. There's a certain thrill in denying one's true nature. I'm going to miss that."
"Is this for your Slayer Skank? I mean, girlfriend. Was she embarrassed to be with a vampire who didn't have a soul? Since that's like, how it's usually done."
"Actually, Spike told me Buffy never did him after he got a soul, so, assuming she did Angel only once, as best as I know, it's usually done the way Debbie and I did it."
"She only slept with Spike before? Ick. I never knew Buffy was so kinky. So why are you doing it?"
"Ask my dad. I've always been a weird vampire. I never really enjoyed killing people in and off itself. Killing vampires: now I've always loved that."
"More than people?"
"Vampires put up more of a fight. For instance, I imagine you would last thirty seconds before becoming dust." Harmony stands up and puts her hands on her hips.
"Is that a threat?"
"Hardly. If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead." She steps out from behind her desk and gets in Dev's face. He's not that much taller than her.
"I'd like to see you try, little man."
"No you wouldn't. I got how many years on you?"
"Big deal. I'm a survivor. I've taken on the best, and I'm still here. So if you knew what was good for you, you wouldn't be messing with me." He just stares at her and smiles. "Are you getting turned on by this," she nervously asks, taking a step back.
"I'm starting to see what Spike saw in you."
"Okay, this is getting a little icky," she replies, walking away.
"I'm also starting to see what Sidney sees in you." Harmony spins around.
"Excuse me?"
"Girl's got a crush on you."
"What? Oh. Figures," she says, suddenly becoming blase. "She's into that kinda thing."
"Actually, you're the only woman I know of who's turned Sidney on." This is something for Harmony to think about.
"You mean I'm her Charlize Theron?" Devlin doesn't know what this means. The first thing that occurs to him is that Theron is South African and so was the Slayer he killed. So Harmony's comment reminds him of a pleasant but completely unrelated memory.
"Should I tell Sidney you're interested?"
"I need to go," she responds, putting on her coat and rushing to the elevator. Devlin follows her.
"How about I give you a ride home?"
"I can walk."
"You know one of the good things about getting a soul is that it makes me off limits to Buffy. Imagine how she'll feel when she finds out the vampire who kneecapped her Slayers is untouchable." This brings a smile to Harmony's face.
"You're right. That will piss her off."
"You never told me what happened when you went up against Buffy. Would you mind?"
"It's really not that interesting."
"To me it is." Harmony glows. It's so rare to be around someone who seems to care about her life.
Anita spends Thursday night hanging out in Claire's room. "Your boyfriend's got a hot bod for an older guy. How old is he?"
"A hundred and something."
"I meant, how old was he when he, ya know, became eternal?"
"He won't say. Then again, I've never really asked. I don't like making him talk about his past."
"Why bother, when there's all that fabulous screwing to be had?" Claire blushes. "Come on Claire. He's like the Energizer Bunny, isn't he?"
"There's a disturbing thought: fucking a bunny," she jokes.
"Whatever he's got, it rubbed off on Russell."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's means, after class, after looking at your boyfriend's naked bod for an hour, he took me downstairs, and we did it in the dark room."
"What," Claire exclaims. She stands up and looks pissed.
"Best sex we've ever had. Fucking amazing."
"That little asshole. How could he do this to me?"
"Claire, I was the one he was doing."
"He knows that's where I develop my pictures. He's knows I'm one of the only ones who uses it, now that everybody's gone digital. He did this to hurt me."
"Earth to Claire: the world does not revolve around you."
"I can't believe it. He's mad that I didn't give him credit for my art."
"This wasn't about your stupid paper-mache masks."
"Stupid? You think they're stupid?"
"Sorry, bad choice of words. I'm sorry I told you about this. I'm sorry I thought you'd be interested in my life instead of turning everything back around to you." She stalks out.
"Anita, wait." Anita slams the door. Claire sits down on her bed, dejected. After a few seconds she decides to call Spike's cell. "Guess who?"
"Claire!"
"Did the class go well?"
"It wus fine. They paid me at the end."
"Where are you?"
"On Sunset. Looking for a killer." He's trying to find Elektra.
"Mind if I tag along?"
"Yeah. Cuz I like you, and I'd mind if you got killed."
"I thought you protected girls like me?"
"I do. Sometimes, just by telling them to stay home."
"Come on," she whines, eager for some quick fun to make her forget her troubles.
"I'm on business, luv."
"What about tomorrow?"
"Depends on how tonight goes."
"You're blowing me off."
"I'm trying to save lives. Look," Spike says before sighing. "Fine. Tomorrow night."
"Great! Meet me at school, a little after sundown?"
"It's a date. Most killers don't come out until after ten anyway." Spike gets back to his hunt, knowing Elektra likes loud places with lots of horny men. Problem is, that could describe just about every place on the Strip.
As Jeta looks out the window on the overnight train from Bordeaux to Bilbao, she recalls the last time she was in Gascony sixty years ago, on the run from another fearsome enemy. A group of about two hundred Jews make their way at night towards the border. The Nazis and their local collaborators have discovered their hiding spots. Those fortunate enough to escape know their only salvation lies in making it across the mountainous border. They hear the rumble of an engine, and try to find cover in the brush. But two soldiers on a motorcycle and side car have spotted the group and bounce across the terrain towards them. They stand up and point guns at the frightened people. A few who run are shot in the back. But out of nowhere, a creature grabs one of the soldiers from behind and bites down on his neck. He screams in agony as his partner looks on in disbelief. When the monster finishes with her first victim, she smiles at the other soldier, blood running down her chin. He shoots twice, but it barely slows her down. She leaps on the man and drains him as well.
The refugees, relieved to be free of one enemy, look wearily at their bloodthirsty savior. "I will lead you to freedom," she announces in German as if trying to pose as an undead Moses. About a third of the crowd understands her. "The SS is afraid of Gypsies. They fear our curses." A few Jews laugh nervously. They don't think that's quite why the Nazis would fear her. "The only safety you have is with me," she declares ominously. Jeta can hear German trucks approaching on a nearby road. "They are coming! Hide for your lives." The Jews seek cover, desiring to escape from their oppressors as well as their self-proclaimed protector. Jeta picks up a sub-machine gun from one of the dead soldiers. When about twenty of the enemy approaches, she tosses the gun forward, then uses her powers to suspend the weapon in mid-air. The floating gun fires wildly, taking out four soldiers and bewildering the rest. Jeta closes her eyes, holds out her arms, and chants in Romani, causing her to levitate a foot off the ground and be surrounded by a red glow. The Germans decide genocide isn't worth this kind of hassle and make a run for it. The chanting and light show were just that. Jeta couldn't hurt them, only make them frightened. But that was all she needed.
The refugees realize they have fallen into the clutches of a powerful demon or evil angel. "As if the Germans weren't enough," an old man darkly quips to his wife in French.
Friday morning, at five, Devlin drives Debbie to the school, where buses are waiting to take them north. She's looking through the re-ensoulment options provided by Wolfram & Hart. "Any that you like?"
"They'll be more coming today," he replies.
"You don't sound so enthusiastic."
"I don't see the point of going through ordeals. It's irrational and barbaric."
"Are you scared?"
"No. Just, uneasy. Anyway, I'm not the sort who does well at these things."
"How do you know?"
"It's not in my nature. I like circumstances I can control. Ordeals are about giving yourself over to another power to do with you what it wants."
"Sometimes you have to give up control to get what you really want. You do want this?"
"I want you. And if this is what it takes." Debbie looks away from him. "Oh, give it up! This is a big step. No vampire in my position has ever done this. And I'm doing it for you. I'm risking my life, I'm making myself into a tortured guilt monster, for you."
"Tortured guilt monster? I hope you're more fun than that," she jokes.
"Maybe it won't be that bad. As vampires go, I've never been especially cruel. Spike was always disappointed in me."
"Good for you," she half-jokes.
"We'll talk about the options when you get back. I won't do anything while you're gone. And I'm not expecting any Gypsies to curse me in the meantime. I don't recall ever doing anything to their people."
"Let's hope you're right. I wouldn't exactly want a defective vampire." Angel would be hurt if he knew that's what Debbie thought of him. She leans over and kisses them, neither wanting to say goodbye. After half a minute, there's a knock on the window. It's Cynthia.
"Saved you a seat." Debbie kisses Devlin a little more before stepping out. She takes her backpack from the trunk and walks toward the buses. Cynthia is joined by her boyfriend Theo.
"I think the sun's coming up," he says as they pass their friend Diego, who's making out with Sidney. Up ahead, Alexander watches the happy couple say goodbye by playing tonsil hockey. He wishes he had a relationship like that. The irony is he doesn't know Sidney's a vampire, and Diego's type of relationship is exactly what he's trying to get away from.
Late that afternoon, the doorbell at Debbie's house rings. Dev opens it, staying in the shadow. "Just drop it in here."
"I need you to sign," the messenger says. Devlin tosses a twenty across the open door.
"Forge it." The man takes the money, tosses the package inside and leaves. Devlin opens it and takes a look at the documents. Then he picks up the phone. "Hello Winifred. I just received my package. Thanks again."
"How did you get my cell number," she asks, worried.
"That's a very interesting question. Tell Wesley Wyndham-Price thank you. You two are still a couple, right?" Fred hangs up and looks nervous.
"Is everything all right," Knox asks.
"Yeah. Just a . . . yeah." Devlin could make his ordinariness subtly terrifying when he wanted.
That night, Devlin's watching television to relieve his boredom when he hears a knock at the door. "That's funny. I didn't order anything. There's another knock. "Keep that up and I'll rip you're lungs out." He opens the door to see his sister.
"I'd like to see you try," she responds.
"Come on in." She tries, but can't. "Sorry, an invite from a vampire doesn't do the trick."
"Why don't you ask little Debbie to invite me in? Oh. That's right. She's gone." Devlin smiles.
"You did your homework."
"I thought I'd take a page from your book. I think you know why I'm here."
"To watch girls with special powers who have their own tv shows? Great. I'd love to talk about that. Am I the only one who thinks the Cute Guy avatar looks like a cross between Angel and Jeff Buckley? I wonder what would happen if Joan slept with him. Would he turn into the Devil? Nah. It's been done."
"It's not the time to try to be funny."
"If not now, then when?"
"After you've killed a Slayer."
"Already have."
"And it was fun."
"You bet. But I've moved on. The only thing better than killing a Slayer is fucking one. Which you wouldn't know, having done neither."
"I can kill a Slayer."
"Then why haven't you?"
"You know they travel in pairs now."
"Yes. I like to think I had something to do with that."
"I need you to kill one so I can kill the other."
"There are other vampires."
"Tried them. No luck."
"It is hard to find good help. When you're evil. When you become good, it's surprisingly easy."
"You're not good. You may be able to fool the Slayer, but I know you haven't changed."
"Thank you for the Angel impression."
"I sound sound like Nick Lachey? Ewww!"
"Have you tried separating them?"
"They stick together."
"Lesbians," Devlin asks with a smile.
"No. Just smart. And they got this wicked weapon. Scares all the other vamps shitless."
"Very interesting. Now if you'll excuse me - "
"Wait! I'm desperate. I need help. And you're the only one who can give it. You've always been there for me."
"Touching. But family bonds aren't what they once were. Look at mom and dad."
"You want to follow in Spike's footsteps? Become Angel's lackey? Why not. You're already a Slayer's boy toy."
"I prefer to think of myself as a thorn in Angel's side."
"What about being a thorn in Buffy's side?"
"That too. You hear about the ambush?"
"Of course. Don't know why you didn't finish them off, though."
"You never did understand the precepts of limited war."
"What I do understand is the only thing standing between me ruling the Hellmouth and restoring our family's honor are two little girls named Rona and Vi." Devlin takes a step outside onto the porch and shuts the door. "Those names mean something to you, bro?"
"They're Veterans."
"Figured. They're way more confident than the other Slayers I've battled."
"They're Ultra-Veterans. Two-thirds of The Trio."
"The Trio?"