I had to go to see stupid Barns today, but I wasn't really in the mood to talk. When I got there he asked me where I had been Monday, and I told him that I had been poorly. I know it was a lame excuse but I don't really care - he just nodded, he didn't start moaning at me like I thought he would. Still, even though he was being all nice I decided I wasn't going to be helpful this session.
He asked me what I had been up to and I said nothing. Then he started saying how 'I must have done something, over the past week.' I just ignored him and sat their looking out of the window onto the street below. I know it was rude but I really didn't feel like talking, I'm still mad about yesterday. Mom still thinks that I took the stupid money, and the thought of Zack threatening me makes my blood boil. Who the hell does he think he is, I'll talk to my mom how I like - she is my mom, she's nothing to him, so he should mind his own business.
After about 15 minutes of simply blanking him no matter what he asked he seemed to be getting annoyed, I could just tell from the way he kept taking in deep breaths before he asked me something, as though he was trying to stay calm and hold his temper. It seemed to work - maybe I'll try that next time mom does my head in, instead of reacting.
Then he started saying how most people do what I was doing, when something is bothering them. He was right, something big was bothering me, my whole life - but I wasn't going to tell him my problems, after all, they are MY problems, no one else's, and I'm not going to share them. Everyone has to deal with stuff, so there's no point in feeling sorry for yourself. In the end I decided to play along, I went, 'Yeah, something is bothering me.... you.' Then I got up and left!
He didn't come after me, he just shouted, 'I'll see you on Monday.' I just ignored him and went home - there was no point in sitting there for an hour bored out of my head being ignorant. I'm going to go on Monday though, cos I want to see how he is going to react - it will be fun, seeing how long he can hold his temper for.
I got home and mom pointed out that I was early, I just ignored her and went up to my room. I got Cazzy and took her for a long walk later on, we went all over the village, and I carried her this time instead of pushing her, I thought it would make a change of scenery seen as she is pushed around everywhere in that thing. Although by the time we got home my arms were really hurting, she is getting heavier the little fatty!
I feel a bit bad about how I was with Dr. Barns, I think that maybe I should say sorry on Monday - after all, he is only trying to help. And like they said at school before we broke up for the holidays, if he thinks I'm not getting better he may make me change schools, and I dont want that, I'll not see Terri in Maths when we go back!
Jack.