Disclaimer: (insert your favorite FFX-2 related disclaimer here)
Reminder: Just a reminder, Rikku is in Gippal's body so it's Rikku's mind in Gippal's body and vice versa.
Change!
Chapter Five: I Want To Be Your… Cactuar?
Gippal sighed and turned over on the bed. They had returned from the Moonflow moments before. After viewing the sphere (which turned out to be a dud) and asking Brother to pilot the ship to Bikanel, Gippal retreated to the cabin for what he thought was some well-deserved R&R. Rikku went back to Djose but only after he had made her pinky promise him not to go anywhere or do anything until he got back. He trusted she'd do as he asked, after all he took his pinky swears very seriously. He would have felt completely comfortable with the situation if it hadn't been for that creepy Hypello ogling him from the bar below.
'Man,' he thought staring up at the ceiling. 'I have to get to Bikanel soon. I need that part. Without it, Rikku and I…'
"Rikku!" Yuna's cheery voice brought him out of his musings.
"Oh, hey Yuna," Gippal answered with a small smile. He hadn't even heard her come up. He must really be out of it.
She sat on the side of the bed. "Are you alright, Rikku? You haven't been acting like yourself lately. We're really worried about you."
'You don't know the half of it,' he thought to himself.
"…Is it your time of the month…?"
Gippal looked at her in confusion. What in Spira was she talking about, 'time of the month?' Oh!
"N-no!" he declared, shaking his head vehemently. "I-it's not that! Not at all!"
"Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you," Yuna said, worriedly eyeing her younger cousin. She had a feeling Rikku wasn't telling her the whole story. Call it cousin's intuition. She got up off the bed and headed back down the stairs. "Oh!" She turned to face Gippal. "We'll be landing in Bikanel soon. Get ready."
Gippal rested his head on the pillow. He had no idea how long it would take to get to Bikanel so he might as well get a little rest. Wait, did she say…?
"Bikanel! Whoo-hoo!" He jumped to his feet and started dancing in celebration, complete with the little kicks and the thumbs. Little did he know that perverted Hypello was recording this…
The moment the Celsius docked at Bikanel, Gippal jumped out and dashed over to the Al Bhed known to him as 'Captain.' Captain was in charge of all digging expeditions in the desert and was the only person who would be able to get Gippal the much needed machina part.
"Rao Captain, E haat du ycg oui y vyjun (Hey, Captain, I need to ask you a favor)," Gippal said.
Captain looked at Gippal in confusion. "Tu E ghuf oui? (Do I know you?)"
"Ir… (Uh…)" Gippal began. He was Rikku right now. Curse this body! This annoyingly cute body… Wait, where did that come from? Ah, who cares? The point was Captain didn't know Rikku. "Hu, pid E haat du belg ib cusadrehk vun Gippal. Y machina bynd. Ra untanat uha mega ed dfu suhdrc yku… (No, but I need to pick up something for Gippal. A machina part. He ordered one like it two months ago…)"
"E ghuf dra uha oui'na dymgehk ypuid pid E lyh'd ramb oui. Ymm tekkehk ryc paah bid uvv. Drana ec cusa dnuipma eh dra Cactuar Nation. (I know the one you're talking about but I can't help you. All digging has been put off. There is some trouble in the Cactuar Nation)."
Gippal's face fell. No digging? That meant no part. And no part meant no chance of getting back to his own body.
"Oui'na lida. …Damm oui fryd, dymg du Benzo. Ra'mm keja oui dra cluub uh drec dnuipma. Syopa oui lyh ramb. (You're cute. …Tell you what, talk to Benzo. He'll give you the scoop on this trouble. Maybe you can help.)"
Ordinarily Gippal would have knocked Captain out cold at being called cute but this was no ordinary time. Instead he expressed his joy by jumping up and down and squealing his thanks like a hyperactive schoolgirl. There was hope!
"Rikku?" Yuna and Paine had joined Gippal by this time. "What's going on?"
Gippal composed himself. Well, barely. "I don't have time to explain. There's trouble in the Cactuar Nation. We need to talk to Benzo."
Yuna nodded. "Alright. Let's go see him."
"Lead the way!" Gippal said, Yuna and Paine completely oblivious to the fact that he, unlike Rikku, had no idea who this Benzo was.
They wandered over to a short Al Bhed standing next to a hover. Gippal scratched his head. Would this kid bring them to Benzo?
"Ah, Gullwings, what brings you to Bikanel?" the Al Bhed greeted them.
"Hello, Benzo. We heard there was some trouble with the Cactuars," Yuna said.
Gippal snorted. This was Benzo. He was just some punk kid.
"Yes. There's something wrong with Marnela. She's been acting all moody and hormonal lately…"
"Do Cactuars have hormones?" Gippal whispered to Paine. She ignored him and Benzo continued.
"We think it's because she's lonely. After all, she's surrounded by Cactuar Mothers. Maybe she's finally ready to settle down."
Yuna smiled. "That's wonderful."
Wonderful? Gippal couldn't figure out what was so wonderful about populating Spira with more Cactuars. Prickly, pokey Cactuars… He shuddered. Guess he still wasn't over that incident in his youth.
"So what can we do to help?" Paine asked in her usual nonchalant way.
"You're really willing to help us out?"
Gippal stared at Benzo. Was this guy serious? When did the Gullwings do anything but help people out? Nevertheless, Yuna gave an answer.
"Of course."
"We need to find a mate for Marnela," Benzo stated matter-of-factly.
Yuna nodded. "Leave it to the Gullwings." She spun around and tossed her head to the side with a wink. "We answer the call of duty."
"And accept the charges," Paine added, swinging her sword in a series of intricate patterns.
Gippal groaned. Not this crap again. Might as well give them what they want. "Except for long distance!" he exclaimed as he pirouetted across the sand.
Yuna, Paine, and Benzo blinked, not believing what they saw.
MISSION TIME!
I WANT TO BE YOUR… CACTUAR?
MARNELA'S GETTING LONELY ALL BY HERSELF IN THE DESERT. IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR HER TO SETTLE DOWN.
OBJECTIVE: FIND A MATE FOR MARNELA!
They boarded the hover bound for Cactuar Nation. During the trip, Benzo pointed out a number of strange rock formations that had recently appeared in the desert. Yuna and Paine seemed to be paying very close attention but Gippal wasn't listening. All he could think about was solving this stupid problem and getting the heck out of there with that machina part.
After arriving at the Cactuar Nation Benzo led them to the tallest Cactuar in the desert, the famed Marnela.
"Hello Marnela, how are you?" Yuna asked politely.
Gippal thought it was strange to talk to a Cactuar and expect an answer. And on the topic of talking with Cactuars, how exactly did Benzo know Marnela was lonely? However no amount of thought could prepare him for what happened next. Marnela wiggled and let out a series of bloops. As strange as this seemed Gippal wasn't prepared for what happened next.
"She says- Wait! Marnela! I can't tell them that!"
"Hold on," Gippal interrupted with a wave of his hands. "You can talk to Cactuars?"
The others gave him looks that suggested he, er, well, Rikku, should have known this information already.
"I-I mean," he stuttered, struggling to fix his mistake. "You can talk to Cactuars! Of course you can! Ha ha ha!"
Yuna and Paine looked like they feared for "Rikku's" sanity however they said nothing.
Benzo cleared his throat. "One of you will need to stay here with Marnela while we find a Cactuar. She really shouldn't be left alone at a time like this."
Gippal, Yuna, and Paine nodded in agreement. After all, suicidal Cactuars were becoming a big problem these days… not!
"I'll stay," Gippal volunteered. After all, how hard could it be? Babysitting a Cactuar instead of running around the desert? Sounded good to him.
"Great. Here, put this on," Benzo pulled out a Cactuar costume, complete with bowtie.
"What? Why? No way am I wearing that thing!"
"But Rikku you have to! For Marnela!" Yuna cried.
'Screw Marnela! There's no way I'm embarrassing myself twice in one day,' he thought. But he couldn't say that. Shrugging his shoulders in defeat he sighed. "Fine."
Once Gippal had donned the costume, still not fully understanding what its purpose was, Benzo and the others took off in the hover. Now it was just him and Marnela.
The corner of Gippal's mouth twitched. Alone with a Cactuar. This was definitely not how he had imagined spending his day.
The sands of the Northern Expanse stretched as far as the eye could see. The landscape was littered with rocks of all shapes and sizes but Cactuars were nowhere to be found.
"Benzo," Yuna began, struggling to keep her voice cheery, "are you sure there are Cactuar out here? We've been looking for hours."
"Yes, I'm positive," Benzo answered, barely visible as they waded through knee-deep sand. "Just a little further, Gullwings. I know there around here… somewhere…"
The sun was beginning to set on Bikanel. It was like a picture on one of those postcards that Rin sold at his shops, one of the "wish you were here" variety. Gippal, however, wished he was anywhere but "here." He had sat (which was difficult to do in his costume) beside Marnela and started absentmindedly doodling with one of the thorns on his fingers. Once he had finished, he leaned back and admired his "masterpiece."
There was Rikku, with that goofy grin she always wore, riding a shoopuf. Why a shoopuf, Gippal didn't know but he thought it was appropriate. Now to start on one of Yuna…
Sand, sand everywhere, but not a Cactuar in sight… Yuna, Paine, and Benzo had been wandering all afternoon with no luck. Benzo had kept insisting that the Cactuars were "just a little further" but "further" quickly become "further" and "further." Paine was just about to open her mouth to say they should head back when Benzo's ears perked up. He began running in circles, sniffing the ground.
"There's a Cactuar nearby, I know it!" Benzo exclaimed. "Follow me, Gullwings!" He scrambled off into the horizon leaving Yuna and Paine to hurry after him.
They kept running, following Benzo as he wound his way through the sand.
"There!" Benzo pointed to a solitary spiky plant a few feet away.
He darted over to it, panting like an over-excited dog. Yuna and Paine tiredly plodded along behind him.
"Hellotherewhatsyourname? Wannacometocactuarnationwithus?" he asked it, his words running together so horribly that it was next to impossible to determine what he was saying.
The Cactuar wiggled, babbling as Marnela had.
"What did it say?" Paine questioned, seriously doubting the Cactuar had understood Benzo.
"He said his name is Melvin and he would be delighted to come. Well, that's the gist of it."
Yuna and Paine let out simultaneous sighs of relief before collapsing on the sand from exhaustion.
MISSION COMPLETE!
Gippal sighed as he added the finishing touches to his latest creation, a drawing of Cid dancing with a chocobo. The sand around him was completely surrounded by squiggles to the untrained eye. To him, however, they were works of art which no one but the most talented of artists dare challenge. …Maybe he had spent a little too much time in the sun.
There was one of Rikku, Yuna, Paine, himself, Baralai, Nooj, Nhadala, himself, Leblanc, Ormi, Logos, Buddy, Brother, Shinra, himself, Dona, Barthello, Clasko, Beclem, Wakka, Tromell, Barkeep (more like "Barpeep") and Cid…
Marnela had been quiet the whole time, which was a relief. Gippal didn't know the first thing about talking with Cactuars. He hadn't taken Cactuar Communication 101 like Benzo.
"Rikku, we're back!"
He looked up at the sound of the voice. Yuna, Paine, and Benzo had returned, the latter pulling a large Cactuar in a wagon. Any joy Gippal felt at seeing them return dissipated when he saw where they were standing: on his masterpieces!
"Gah!" He struggled to get up, the Cactuar suit making this an extremely difficult task. "Watch where you're stepping!"
They glanced down at their feet. Nothing was there, well except for some strange scribbles in the sand.
"What are you talking about Rikku?" Yuna asked, moving foreword to check Gippal's forehead for a fever, not realizing that she was destroying more of his artwork in the process. "There's nothing there."
"M-my artwork!" Gippal whimpered, falling flat on his butt. "I-I was going to be a gillionaire!"
"We've found you a friend Marnela!" Benzo said as he tugged the wagon over to the Cactuar. "His name is Melvin and he's very excited to meet you."
Marnela bloop-blooped and wiggled in Melvin's direction.
"What did she say?" Yuna asked.
Benzo blushed hard. "M-marnela! Control yourself." He turned to the Gullwings. "Thank you for all your help. Marnela is happier than ever."
The Cactuars continued to make babbling sounds. The blush on Benzo's face deepened although the Gullwings couldn't see it. "I-I think we should go now."
They headed toward the hover.
"Rikku, aren't you coming?" Yuna looked back over her shoulder after realizing Gippal hadn't moved.
Gippal sniffed. All his hard work… destroyed… They just didn't understand the soul of a true artiste. He was not going to move from this spot until they apologized! …Well actually, the costume was the reason he couldn't get up. It was just too darned big! … … … Forget dignity!
"Uh, Yuna, could you help me up?"
Once the hover arrived back at the central hub of digging, Gippal wasted no time in speaking to Captain. They had solved the trouble with Marnela so digging should be back on now. He had removed the Cactuar suit and tossed it into the desert on the way back, much to Benzo's dismay.
"Fa cumjat dra bnupmas eh Cactuar Nation cu lyh E untan dryd bynd huf? (We solved the problem in Cactuar Nation so can I order that part now?)" Gippal asked, barely containing his excitement.
"Ypcumidamo (Absolutely)," Captain nodded. "Fa'mm ryja ed vun oui eh yh ruin (We'll have it for you in an hour)."
"Y-yh ruin? Rumt uh, mycd desa E, ir, E sayh Kebbym ryt du fyed y suhdr vun dryd bynd! (A-an hour? Hold on, last time I, uh, I mean Gippal had to wait a month for that part!)"
Captain laughed. "Oayr, fa mega du sacc fedr res (Yeah, we like to mess with him)."
Gippal's eyebrow twitched. M-mess with him? "Dammit!"
"Rikku, teth'd oui maynh ouin maccuh? (Rikku, didn't you learn your lesson?)" Brother screamed at him, appearing from out of nowhere. "E'mm ryja du ica Barkeep's haf Hypello Potion, aqdny cdnahkdr (I'll have to use Barkeep's new Hypello Potion, extra strength)."
"Yff, lnyb (Aww, crap)" Gippal sighed as he let himself be dragged away.
The gigantic form of Djose Temple loomed in front of Gippal as he ran towards its doors, machina part in hand. This was it. After he fixed the machine he and Rikku could go back to their normal bodies, at least he hoped they could. What if it didn't work? He shook his head. It would work; it had to.
He opened the door to the main hall where various Al Bhed were puttering around like always. He smiled to himself. It was good to know some things never changed.
"Rao, rao frana'c Gippal? (Hey, hey where's Gippal?)" Gippal asked a nearby worker. "E haat du dymg du res (I need to talk to him)."
"Ra mavd. Oui zicd seccat res (He left. You just missed him)," the mechanic replied, not looking up from the small machina robot he was trying to fix.
A vein twitched dangerously on Gippal's forehead. "FRYD? E dumt ran HUD du ku yhofrana! (WHAT? I told her NOT to go anywhere!)"
All the Al Bhed stopped what they were doing, shocked by "Rikku's" outburst.
"Tet cra cyo 'ran?' (Did she say 'her?')"
"E drehg cu… (I think so…)"
Several Al Bhed moved forward, ganging up on Gippal.
"Ruf tyna oui sulg uin maytan! Uid fedr oui! (How dare you mock our leader! Out with you!)" they protested, pushing him towards the exit.
"Fyed, fyed oui lyh'd tu drec! (Wait, wait you can't do this!)" Gippal struggled against his aggressors. "E's- (I'm-)"
With one final push, they tossed him outside, the temple doors slamming shut behind him.
"Rikku, frana dra ramm yna oui! (Rikku, where the hell are you!)" Gippal shouted, his voice lost in the crackling of the thunder and lightning.
Whoo-hoo! This is the longest chapter yet. It turned out a bit differently than I expected but that's not a bad thing.
Next chapter, where did Rikku go? If you've been reading the story closely, you might be able to figure it out (Hint: Look in chapter three!) What will Gippal do when (if) he finds her? Mwahahahaha! Ahem. And what about that baby flan? All will be revealed (well, not all) in the next chapter!
Oh, and as for your bathing question Mikusan… let's just say that (1) it hasn't been that long (well, it hasn't!) or (2) Rikku and Gippal don't exactly smell like a basket of roses… take your pick!
See ya next chapter!