Author's Notes: Woohoo! Second chapter! I know you are all extremely happy and love me like (insert good simile here). Yeah, I never liked figurative language...Oh yes, and if I didn't mention some songs are serious but some are random, insane ones. I'll try to put at least two in each chapter (one of each!)

Shoutouts

A Cute But Psycho Bunny: Whoa, that is an extremely long review! I guess I better write an extremely long shoutout! Yes...so...of course we most have Zero, otherwise people shall perish, and perishing people makes me sad. But annoying stories about Squid's troubled past that are all the same don't make me sad, just homicidal. Frizzle is weird...never trust a kid with crazy hair! That's my motto in life beams proudly D-Tent isn't straight as a ruler though, because I've seen flexible rulers. Dude, those are the coolest things ever! They bend! They are a straight as a segment, because a segment has two distinct endpoints, and a line extends infinitely into space. :-) Don't worry I'm psycho too (just ask my friends!) and I get sooo hyper too. Yay, let's have a "I'm the 75th author-alert person party" Yay! Whoa, I wrote a long shoutout!

Nosilla: Gracias, chika! Soy updating-o (I don't know how to say update in Spanish. And I'm assuming you're a girl. Otherwise, SORRY!)

whataboutneville: Thank you also! It is very different... that's why I decided to write it!

da baddest chik: You deserve a long shoutout too, but I'm a lazy person. And I'm scared to be hunted down. Please don't hurt me.

Chapter 2: U n w e l l K i d s

----

"Stanley! Stanley, wake up? C'mon Stanley, we're gonna be late!" Zero was pushing Stanley, trying to wake him up.

"Mmm...5 five more minutes," Stanley moaned, rolling over and smothering his head in the pillow.

"Stanley, you're not at home anymore! You're at Camp Green Lake! If you don't get out now, Mr. Sir is going to come in and yell at you!" Zero explained, dragging Stanley off the cot.

He opened his eyes. "Aw, crap," he said, getting dressed in record time. The two were the last to get their shovels. Zero kept receiving odd looks from campers. Apparently, word had gotten around camp about Zero's little singing trip.

"I feel weird. People keep giving me odd looks," Zero muttered. "Where'd you get those mints?"

"Frizzle gave 'em to me," Stanley replied. "Cool kid. Awfully smart."

"Smart, yeah, but cool? I don't know. There's something suspicious about him. I don't like him." Zero replied.

"Come on Zero, he's a cool guy. He looks totally harmless. Besides, it's not like he could actually invent mints to make people sing! That's the kind of thing that happens in dreams or books!" Stanley said.

"You never know with those geniuses," Zero replied.

----

The water truck pulled up. Zero made sure to stay in the back. "Gonna sing again?" Squid asked with a smile.

"Hey X, when are you gonna move me up?" Magnet asked eagerly.

"Shut up, man. I ain't ever gonna move you up if ya'll keep askin' me," X Ray shot back.

"Damn kids," Grumbled Mr. Sir as Pendanski filled the canteens.

Armpit was taking a big gulp of water when he started to choke. Water was dribbling down his front. He pointed, and the other boys looked. Sure enough, the Warden's car was pulling up. She stepped out with a cowboy boot. Looking up, Stanley saw her blue jeans, T-Shirt, and sunglasses.

She took off her sunglasses. "Is there any problem here?" she asked, her voice quiet but stern.

Pendanski opened his mouth, but the words came out of Mr. Sir's mouth first.

"A problem? There's the opposite of a problem here! There's a big problem! These damn kids are disobedient, violent and smelly! They don't listen to a single word we say! We're supposed to turn these bad boys into good ones, but we're just makin' 'em worse!" Mr. Sir ranted, huffing when he was done.

"Is this true, Pendanski?" she asked, her voice still gentle yet strict.

"Well, they are a little out-of control at times," Pendanski admitted.

Mr. Sir popped a chocolate in his mouth. "Want one?" he offered to the two adults. They both accepted. "And another thing..." Mr. Sir started, but something unexpected filled the air.

Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids!
Who can understand anything they say?

Squid clapped his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Magnet was biting was nails. He looked nervous, but the D-Tent boys knew, he bit his nails when he was trying really, really hard not to laugh.

Mr. Pendanski popped a mint in his mouth. Soon enough, words came out of his mouth too.

Kids!
They're all disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!

"What are you two doing?" the Warden asked. "Get back in here now!" she ordered. But soon, she was singing too.

While we're on the subject:
Kids!
You can talk and talk till your face is blue!
Kids!
But they still just do what they want to do!

The three stood together, with no idea of what was happening.

Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Mr. Pendanski shrugged his shoulders, and sang

Kids!

I've tried to raise them the best I could

Mr. Sir walked over to Mr. Pendanski and slapped his head, but ended up singing

Kids! Kids!
Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons!
And while we're on the subject!

The Warden walked in between the two, and soon enough belted out more.

Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll!

The three stood together and realized there was nothing they could do. The words just kept escaping their mouths.

Why can't they dance like we did
What's wrong with Sammy Caine?
What's the matter with kids today!

They finished the song with a dramatic flourish. Magnet's nails were bitten off and Squid's hand was covered in spit. The boys looked at each other; they could not hold in their laughter anymore. They all burst into laughter, pointing and laughing at the three furious adults.

"I suggest you get back to your holes now before someone gets hurt," The Warden said.

And with that, the three adults were gone.

----The Wreck Room----

"Man, that was great," Squid said. "Did you see their faces! It was like they had no idea they were singing!" The other boys howled with laughter.

"Could you guys keep it down? I'm watching Full House," Zigzag said, staring at the broken television. The boys looked at him strangely.

"Sure thing, Zig," X replied as Easy sat down next to Zigzag, just like he did everyday. He gave a loud, false laugh,

"That was funny, wasn't it?" he asked. Zigzag quietly shushed him and continued staring at the blank screen.

"What a loser. The biggest nutter ever. I swear, if his brain was any smaller, it'd be a negative number," Easy said to his friends.

What he said of course didn't make sense, but the boys didn't want to mess with Easy. They all gave big, hearty, laughs. Easy slipped Zigzag a mint, and he ate it silently.

"You are so crazy," Easy said, and not in a good way either. Before Zigzag could say anything, words slipped out of his mouth.

All day

Staring at the ceiling making

Friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep

'Cuz tomorrow might be good for something.

Hold on

Feelin like I'm headin for a

Breakdown

And I don't know why.

Zigzag grabbed his throat, but couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth. He looked directly at Easy and sang

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay a while and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know, right you don't care

But soon enough, you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Zigzag stopped grabbing his throat and looked at Easy and C-Tent with confidence, his eyes blazing.

Me,

Talking to myself in public

And dodging glances on the train

And I know

I know they've all been talkin' bout me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me

Out of all the hours thinkin

Somehow I've lost my mind

Easy looked at him strangely. "Man, make him stop!" he moaned. But Zigzag just kept on singing.

Well I'm not crazy

I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But stay a while and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Yeah, How I used to be

How I used to be, yeah

Well I'm just a little unwell

How I used to be

(A little unwell)

How I used to be

I'm just a little unwell...

Zigzag looked directly at Easy. "Bye," Easy and C-Tent said, running out of the Wreck Room.

"Nice, Zig," X-Ray said, slapping him on the back.

----After Dinner----

"I'm telling you Stanley, it's the mints!"

"And I'm telling you it's not."

"But I'm saying it is!"

"And I say it's not. C'mon, Zero, face it. No one could invent mints to make you sing!"

"Then how come Pendanski, Mr. Sir, the Warden, Zigzag, and I all ate the mints before we sang?"

"Coincidence. C'mon Zero, let's get to bed. We have a long day ahead of us,"

"Well, I still think it's the mints. I'll prove it,"

"Well, sorry, but I know it's not the mints. You're totally wrong," Stanley said, climbing into bed.

Unfortunately, Zero was as right as two perpendicular lines.

----

Woohoo, chapter 2! Read and review of you want more!

Disclaimer: I do not own Holes, the musical Bye Bye Birdie or the song Kids, or the song "Unwell" by Matchbox Twenty.

Something very sad: I'm in Bye Bye Birdie and had to look up the song lyrics on the internet. And, even sadder, I know the Simpsons version of "Kids" by heart.

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