Disclaimer: I don't own anything in CSI-world, but as of tonight, I'm the proud owner of a cocker spaniel puppy named "Clover".

Author's Notes: I would have got this out sooner, but I ended up working through my lunch hour, finding out how puncture wounds can determine objects used to stab a person. I also learned that it's very creepy to read about a homicide in the newspaper and then see the person at work. This one goes out to Emmithar, 'cause she makes me smile and encourages me to continue even when my mind is saying 'I suck! I suck!'. Hope your burns feel better!

I didn't get nearly as much as I wanted to achieve in this chapter completed, but there's always chapter three for that, right?

Thanks for all of the response I got on the first chapter, hope you continue to enjoy. A little cheesy in this one, but I swear, it'll get better if you just hang in there and keep reading.

Jenny

Two:

"I didn't even know you were--"

Sara shook her head sadly, her hand resting over her stomach, "I hadn't told anyone yet, I actually only got past the denial and went to the doctor a few weeks ago. 17 weeks, it's late for a miscarriage, but not unheard of."

"If we would have known, we would have gone easier on you at work, you know that, right? I'm sure Grissom would have tried to keep your stress levels down, cut back on your hours a bit. How could we not know?" Greg asked, concern evident in his voice. He was thoroughly disgusted with his investigative skills. People have symptoms when they're pregnant...moodiness, morning sickness, fatigue, achiness...he hadn't noticed any changes in the person he felt to be one of his close friends, and now it was too late. If only she hadn't worked so hard, if only she hadn't been so worked up all of the time.

The pieces started to fall in place, one by one. She had cut back on her overtime considerably, even though she was still the first one in and the last to leave, other than Grissom. Mood swings? She had fought with Catherine, and then with Ecklie, in front of the entire lab. One day she'd be happy and friendly, the next she'd be withdrawn and angry. She hadn't put on any weight, but if she had only been 4 months along, she wouldn't necessarily be showing yet. How could he have not seen this? Sure, he had seen something was different, something had been bothering her, something was on her mind, but he had always assumed she was just being herself. It wasn't that unusual for her to be unhappy, as of late.

Sara squeezed his hand, not even bothering to wipe away the tears falling down her cheeks, "It had nothing to do with work, Greg. I..well..it's hard to talk about."

"You can tell me anything, I won't say a word to anyone." Greg responded with a gentle hug, "Oh, Sara, you can always tell me anything."

Sara bit her lip, knowing she needed to get it off her chest, and figuring she at least owed Greg that much, considering he had spent the majority of the day in the hospital with her. "I'm actually not supposed to be able to have children. I guess what's why I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant and waited so long to see a doctor. When I was in college, I was living with a guy. It was pretty serious, we were even talking about getting married. In my senior year of college, I ended up pregnant, and he was so angry...jealous, really, that something was going to take my time away from him. He was one of those overprotective, overbearing types."

"What happened?" Greg asked, seeing she was tensing up and knowing that since she didn't have a child at home, the story wasn't complete. "Did he hurt you?"

Sara looked down at the blanket covering her legs, her hands trembling slightly, "He was okay for the first few weeks, but one night he went out with some friends and came back drunk and high. We started arguing, and he got physical, and a few hours later I had a miscarriage. I didn't go to the hospital or anything, I wasn't thinking straight, I was bruised and bloody, and I didn't want anyone to know. I found out a few years later that there was a build up of scar tissue, and it would be extremely hard for me to conceive again."

"I don't know what to say." Greg admitted, squeezing her hand gently and trying to provide any sort of support he could. He wasn't good at these types of situations, usually he'd make a crude joke, but he could tell she wouldn't appreciate the attempt today. He also knew that anything he would say at this point would incriminate himself if this guy ever turned up missing. He hated abusers more than any other type of criminal, and knowing one of his best friends had been harmed by the hand of one infuriated him beyond belief.

Sara shook her head, "You don't have to say anything. I was so stupid, deep down I knew I was pregnant, you can only be nauseous for so long, miss so many periods, have so many bubbling emotions before you start to do the math. I just couldn't believe it, I thought I was safe, I didn't think I'd ever get pregnant again. Apparently, the higher being realized his mistake."

"Sara, everything happens for a reason. It's nothing you caused, it's not your lack of seeing a doctor, it's not your working habits, your sleeping habits, it's the baby. The baby wasn't forming right, something was wrong with it. Did you know that over half of miscarriages are because of some sort of abnormal development in the fetus?" Greg said firmly, "You're not stupid, the way you acted and reacted just makes you a normal human being. It's going to be okay, Sar." He whispered, giving her a gentle hug, "It's going to be okay."

Relaxing in his embrace, the tears began to flow, and she soon found herself sobbing quietly against his chest, too upset to be embarrassed, too comforted to be ashamed.

"What do you mean, no?" Grissom demanded, his anger apparent even over the cell phone connection, "I said we're short handed and you have to come in! It's not a choice, Greg!"

Greg rolled his eyes, causing Sara to give him a small smile, and replied, "Gris, I told you, I'm sick. I need to stay home, I can't come in to work."

"Sara already called in, and Sophia was in court today, so she's out of the question. I can't run a shift alone, Greg."

Grissom was now starting sound like he was considering begging, something which Greg wouldn't be all that opposed to. He glanced at Sara, who had jotted down on a nearby notepad 'Go, I'll be okay', then sighed, "Fine, I'll be in, but I can't guarantee I'll stay."

"I'm not saying you have to, just help me good start on these cases." Grissom said before hanging up without even a 'goodbye'.

Greg shut his cell, helping Sara get comfortable on the couch, where she had elected to stay instead of her bed. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Sara nodded, yawning tiredly, "I'll be fine, Greg. I'll probably just read a book or watch some tv. I'm really tired."

"Are you in pain?" Greg asked, digging through a plastic pharmacy bag, "I've got your pain medication if you need it. Are you sure you don't want me to stay here?"

"And lose your job?" Sara retorted, "The D&C wasn't open heart surgery, Greg, I can handle the evening alone. I could use some time to gather my thoughts, and I'm still so high off the drugs they gave me at the hospital that I probably won't even notice you are gone."

Greg put her cell phone within reach and handed her the tv remote, "Call if you need anything, and no matter what I'm doing, I'll come by to help you. Seriously, Sara." He gave her a stern look, which ended in a smile, "I'll be back in the morning, okay?"

Sara nodded, shutting her eyes and leaning back against the cushions, yawning widely. She wasn't lying, the anaesthetic they had given her still had her feeling woozy, and while she wasn't feeling much physical pain, she still felt her emotional scars healing. She was afraid she was going to break down, she wasn't sure when, but she was definitely sure she did not want Greg there to witness it.

He had really surprised her, staying with her at the hospital, asking the doctor countless questions about the miscarriage, the d & c, the healing process. He had fussed over her and babied her, which normally she loathed, but today she needed, and he was even willing to miss work for her. Two years ago, she would never have thought Greg Sanders could be so mature, but now, he was constantly surprising her.

Is hadn't been easy to tell Greg about her previous miscarriage, she had never told anyone before, and it was never easy for her to open up to anyone. He deserved to know, though, he had spent the entire day with her, he held her hand and gave her the support she needed, and not once did he push her to tell him anything. She was surprised to realize she actually felt better after getting everything off of her chest, and she could almost feel the connection between them growing stronger.

She hadn't thought about her 'previous' life in awhile, she tried to avoid everything before Las Vegas as much as possible. Needless to say, she had a rough childhood, lasting right up into her young adult years. The abuse as a child, her father's death, her mother's arrest, moving across the country to school, only to end up right in the middle of an abusive relationship, losing the baby, winding up alone again, and moving back to California, just to be lonely and miserable...she tried to forget as much of her past as humanly possible.

She had been 17 weeks pregnant. So many signs had told her she was with child, but she hadn't listened to a single one. Deep down, she knew two days before her period was due, because she was accustomed to the mood swings and anger flashes of pms, along with the dull aching of menstrual cramps, and had immediately noticed when they didn't come as scheduled. That time, she had chalked it up to divine intervention, a blessing straight out of the heavens, mother nature finally giving her a break from the torture of womanhood.

Not too long after the missed period, she had started getting edgier, more emotional, locking herself in the bathroom to cry during stressful cases, going home and sleeping three times as long as she had in the past. She blew up at Catherine over a case, got an attitude with Ecklie that nearly lost her the job she had worked so hard to keep. The first major clue was that she didn't care. All of the hard work she had done, the cases she had poured herself into didn't matter anymore, and she found herself indifferent about keeping or losing her job.

She had thought it was the beginnings of depression, probably from the alcohol, so she cut back on the beer she had been using as a relaxation method, and instead took up jogging. This lasted less than a week, when she found she'd rather sleep than jog. Again, she assumed it was mild depression and it would pass.

Then she missed her second period, and had developed a new routine of throwing up every evening when she awoke. It got to the point where she had to avoid the break room at work because the smell of coffee and the various food that had been microwaved each day had her running for the bathroom. Now she assumed it was stress, which was known to do crazy things to a body, and she tried to cut back on her hours, find other interests. She began hanging out with Nick and Warrick when she was off for the night, and she tried to find something to ease the tension in her life.

When she missed her third period, she knew she was in trouble. The nausea had stopped, the extreme fatigue had vanished, but now she felt like she was walking in a fog. She'd leave Grissom's office with a task in mind, but halfway down the hall she'd forget where she was going. She locked her keys in her car twice, she was late for work 4 times in one week, and to top it off, she was halfway to work one evening when she realized she wasn't even wearing shoes. Thinking of all of the things she had been afflicted with, it wasn't hard to come to the conclusion that she was pregnant.

A home pregnancy test confirmed the suspicion, and a blood test a week and a half later (which was how long it took to work up the courage to call for an appointment) confirmed the confirmation. Sara Sidle, was in fact, with child. An ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat, a slightly larger than normal (slightly over a pound in weight, which was the average size of a 21 week fetus), yet seemingly healthy fetus. She was seen by the doctor, given some vitamins and iron supplements, and was due back for a checkup the following week.

She was actually planning on telling Grissom this shift that she was pregnant. Since her already aching back was making it difficult to do some of her required tasks in the field, she was going to ask not to be put solo until the baby had been born. Now, he'd never have to know. Suddenly, everything was different.

Sara had never been a big fan of change, and just when she had gotten used to her new addition, it was torn away from her without her even being aware what was happening until it was too late.

Alone in her dark apartment, Sara began to sob, drawing her knees to her chest, despite the stabs of pain that created in her sensitive areas, grieving for the loss of another child, and perhaps still for the loss of the first. She hadn't even wanted children, so why was this hurting so badly? Thoughts and memories flooded her mind, going from this pregnancy back to Grissom, Hank, the team splitting up, the lab explosion, all the way back to the cold shoulder she had received upon entering the Vegas crime lab. Finally releasing years of pent up anger and sorrow, she sobbed until her chest hurt from the lack of oxygen, until her mind was dizzy and her eyes hurt from producing so many tears. The feeling she hated most of all? Feeling so helpless and out of control as her carefully constructed wall around her mind began to crumble.

TBC