The visit to Barns went surprisingly well today. I came in and he didn't bother to ask about my absence from our last session, so I didn't explain it to him either. Why should I? We caught up on some stuff, nothing much. Then he did his annoying thing with the questions, and he had his notepad out too, I'm sure he only did that because he knows how much it gets on my nerves.
We were there a while but it seemed to go quick. I dodged most of his questions, which he didn't seem to pick up on like usual, which is good of course. He did try to catch me out a few times, so I just changed the subject; hoping that the fact that I hadn't lost my temper would be enough for him to say I'm 'normal' enough to go back to school. If I can keep my mouth shut with him I can keep it shut with the stupid teachers too, so it will be fine.
When we finished he didn't tell me anything about his 'decision' so I guess I'll find out what's going to happen tomorrow.
As I said, in was late from Barns so I had to run all the way to the park where I had arranged to meet Terri. I was worn out by the time I got there but it was okay, I was only a few minutes late and she didn't seem to mind at all. I don't think she even noticed she was in a bit of a daze.
She asked about Barns a lot and if I was going to be seeing him at school again, but I told her I didn't want to think about Barns when I didn't have to and so she changed the subject. We walked around the park and Terri told me about her older brother, the one who answered the door on my first visit, I'm assuming. Apparently he is in trouble for beating somebody up, I could see she was shaken up by it, she doesn't strike me as somebody who can deal with or accept violence. Well, when I got into that fight with Craig she was mad and scared.
We didn't do much, she just talked mostly so I didn't interrupt her, I think she was really upset with the whole situation. After she finished I tried to reassure her that what her brother does doesn't matter, he may do some things she doesn't approve of, but it doesn't take anything away from her, she is still her own person. I shut up after that - how stupid I must have sounded. Especially when I'm too scared to show her where I live, if what I told her was true then I wouldn't be so bothered about her seeing what my family is like.
She wanted to go home after that anyway, she wasn't feeling too good. She was leaning on me most of the way and she didn't look very well either. Half way back she stopped to throw up over a wall. I wanted to go over and see if she was ok, but I didn't want to embarrass her either. I moved a few feet away and waited for her to finish. Once she did she carried on walking, her face was a little bit red, she was probably embarrassed.
I asked if she wanted me to run to the shop and get her some water, but she said no. I tried to hold her hand again to show her I wasn't fussed about her being sick but she moved away and sped up. I was a little bit hurt but I guess she was really embarrassed, and she still felt ill too. Still, I walked her the rest of the way home and told her I'd see her at school tomorrow. She said yeah, not very enthusiastic. I'm guessing she felt very ill, I hope she feels much better tomorrow, I didn't like not being able to help her.
Jack.