Just Because I Can't Breathe

by EbonyBreath

When Ginny Weasley finds the note from her long loved boyfriend speaking of his leaving and betrayal she breaks down. Then over the course of trying to find him and rekindle what he made her lose she remembers what it was like, to love a Malfoy. Mostly GW

4. The Morning After, and Then Some Day

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling nor will I ever be (Really wish I could be... that'd be SOO awesome). This fanfic is based off of characters, situations, and places created by JK Rowling (Bless her soul). I don't own anyone or anything and I never will. I'm not making any money off of this. All I thought up was the plot and an original character or two. I Am very respectful of JK Rowling's work and believe her to be an extremely talented individual. If I can ever write as good as her I shall praise whatever it is that runs this planet.

Author's Note: I read Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince, I love it but I was so sad…. wails Hope everyone's well… Sorry took so long for this chapter blushes I've been REALLY busy, and I thank everyone for all the positive and helpful reviews. Also, I found the sixth book to clear A LOT of stuff up anybody else read it and agree? I hope everyone's summer is going well… ALSO note this chapter is present… not past.

Just Because I Can't Breathe.

Chapter 3

The Morning After, and Then Some Day

I remember when I was younger, about six; Bill had come home from a muggle style party really late. He had reeked like fire whiskey and when he flopped onto the couch beside me, his eyes were swollen and red and he looked me in that face. Told me the thing that I believe brought us closest. He had told about his break up that night, with Arebese Joytu.
"Gin 'n Tonic, want to hear something you won't believe?" He asked mussing her bright red hair, the little girl nodded eagerly,
"Oh yes Bill." The boy flicked his ponytail over his shoulder, thumbing his fang earring.
"I no something that hurts more than the crucio curse, and know what's worse? I'm feeling it." The little girl frowned, her chocolate eyes showing her confusion.
"But Bill… Daddy says you wither on the ground… and you scream. How comes you isn't doing those?"
"Because it's not physical pain I feel. Its emotional pain."
"Like your feelings?"
"Exactly."
"What happened? Did someone call you names?"
"Nope, that's not what happened Gin. See remember Aredese? She came round to the house that one time."
Ginny wrinkled her nose thinking of the fuzzy haired blonde, whom had looked down upon them all and always smelled of stale smoke and old socks.
"Yah… Me and Mom, we didn't like her."
"I know."
"Well what happened Billy?"
"She cheated on me."
"She cheated? Like in a board game?"
Bill chuckled, "I guess you could call it that."
Ginny examined her brother, and he looked a mess and she began to understand. How she didn't know but she did.
"What does it feel like Billy… to have your heart broken?"
"Oh Gin…" He stopped choking back fresh tears, and that scared Ginny. She wrapped her tiny arms around her brother reassuringly, and incredibly understanding for a six year old.
"It feels like someone keeps stabbing a knife into my heart, over and over. And no matter how much I plead they won't stop. I feel like jumping into a hole, and tearing off my skin… I feel like dying. I just want to die. I can't be happy knowing that I need another person to complete myself… I'm not a whole person anymore. She played me for- for- a sucker. She USED ME!" His voice grew to a roared and Ginny hugged him more.
"I feel like a dementor has taken a permanent post upon my shoulders. My head and stomach ache, and I feel like throwing up." When he began to sob, Ginny moved, letting the older boy cry into her shoulder."
"I… I… I told her I loved her. That I would forever. Then she does something like this, playing me? How can I face the world again?" At this point Ginny stood up. She looked remarkably like Mrs. Weasley, with her hands on her hips and face stern.
"William "Bill" Arthur Weasley, don't you dare talk like that. She isn't worth it obviously. I know because you love her you feel like she is but somebody who makes you cry isn't worth your tears. Someone who hurts you… isn't for you. Don't waste your time. Tomorrow you stand tall, and make her see what she lost because she was a stupid wench. Look hot, and prove to the world you Bill Weasley, most handsome of the brothers and that you don't depend on some old bat."
The eldest Weasley brother stared at her as if transfixed before cracking a smile.
"Thanks Gin. You're completely right. I will do that." He leaned forward hiss her forehead.
Ginny wrinkled her nose, "But first you might want to consider a shower… and maybe some breath mints."
Bill grinned, mussing her hair once more then grabbing her, placing her on his shoulders and lumbering off upstairs, the familiar grin upon his very handsome face.

I rolled over, this memory was beautiful and yet at the moment caused me so much pain. Hermione had done exactly as I said not too and placed all my birthday present at the foot of my bed. In spite of myself I grabbed the closet one seeing it was from Harry. I tore off the paper, in rage and glanced the card over.

Happy Birthday Gin,
Your Like A Sister.
Harry.

I rolled my eyes, and yet couldn't help but grin at the present inside, new quidditch gloves. I grabbed the next one, shaking it before tearing off the paper eagerly. I once more couldn't help but smile. Good Old Teal.

Happy Birthday Little Lady.
Hugs and Drinks all around to my best friend. May you make good use of this. It wasn't cheap, daddy nearly scathed my hide, but I couldn't have my favorite… well second favorite, quidditch player out there one that ancient Clean Sweep 260. The others chipped into I mean come on there all filthy little rich kids. Ow… Morrigan just punched me.
Eternal Hugs and Kisses,
Teal, Morrigan, and Zabini.

I beamed, running my pale fingers over the smooth oak shaft of the broomstick. It was the brand new Firebolt G1. I noted the custom additions that had Teal written all over them. For one the tail of the broom had golden and scarlet straw for Gryffindor, and yet exactly 4 green ones… to represent my best friends… all Slytherins. I wondered how my friends had handled Draco's sudden disappearance? I grabbed the next and the next. Unwrapping, numerous sweets, a special luck potion from Tonks, toys for Romeo, and finally the final gift. It was smaller than all the others. The shape of a tiny jewelry box. I opened it with trembling hands knowing the only person who would have given me a present wrapped in dark emerald, Drake. I bit my lip, quivering. I began to lift the lid but before I could there was a rap at my door and I stuffed the present away. Watching as three people entered dressed in green and silver. The three people I actually wanted to see.
"Gin 'n Tonic. You alright Hun?" Asked Teal running to me right away, her emerald robes billowy and flawless as always.
I nodded meekly only to feel a hand upon my shoulder and look up into the always reassuring eyes of Zabini. I smiled, falsely but not well enough to trick Blaise. He wrapped long muscular arms around me, stroking my hair. And once more I felt the memory of me and Bill return. And I began to sob into Blaise's chest as he knew I would.
"Blaise! How could he! He told me… he told me… he loved me."
The tall, dark boy stroked her hair, "I know Gin, and he did. I know he did."
I continued to sob into his chest. Not able to see Morrigan and Teal exchange worried expressions.
"Love Bug, Drake, what he did definitely wasn't right. But I know he wouldn't have left you unless he thought it absolutely necessary."
I sighed into Blaise's chest glad to still hear the familiar demanding and rude tone that was Morrigan.
Blaise looked to Morrigan and Teal, questioningly. The two girls nodded. Blaise moved me away with his arms, looking into my eyes.
"The girls are going to clean you up and then were all going to go down to lunch alright? No arguments, I want to see that sexy little red head sister that I love, got it?"
I nodded and watched as Blaise exited the girl's dorms and clicked the door shut behind him and I knew he was as always standing guard infront of it.
I looked to Morrigan and Teal and they looked same as ever. Teal with her multi-colored hair, and flicky bangs. Her eyes a little red but still beautiful, and different colors. She wore the special skirts the three girls had worn as cheerleaders at a Slytherin quidditch match as a surprise for Draco's birthday. The bright emerald lined with silver with a snake slithering up one side. She also had on a black sweater with her silver and green stripped tie. Then of course the mandatory plain black cloak over top, although to be originally and totally Teal the tie was Slytherin green.
I looked to Morrigan and realized she to was wearing the cheerleader skirt, and I smiled knowing I would soon be to. She though had on a white button down and her tie very loosely around her neck. Her long jet black hair hung down to her waist with the single green streak. Her huge jade colored eyes blinked at Ginny between the huge fan of black lashes. She was extremely tall and her silver sequined kitten heels didn't help. I watched my two best friends rummage threw my things and I realized that they knew something… I didn't.

Walking into the Great Hall was a disaster, I watched horrified as everyone saw me then began to snicker and whisper behind there hands. Blaise placed a hand on my shoulder steering me towards the Slytherin table as I had become accustomed to on most days. The entire table of jade looked to me, concerned. As she walked past the Hufflepuff table things really set off. I had glanced over seeing Ernie Macmillan looking to Hannah Abbott. Next thing I knew all I could see was Blaise pulling out his wand.
"Furunculous! Dirty Hufflepuff vermin!" He screeched.
Diving towards the boy who was irrupting with massive boils. As Blaise's fist connected with the smaller boy's face he grinned at the shattering sound of bone. Blood streamed from Ernie Macmillan's nose, showering Blaise. Who looked plain livid. Morrigan and Teal raised their wands at Hannah Abbott and Michael Corner of Ravenclaw. As they stood to enter the brawl between the two boys. All hell broke loose with Hannah shrieking and pointing her wand at Morrigan.
"Incendio!" The Hufflepuff sixth year screamed.
The spell hit the Slytherin directly in the chest, causing Morrigan to catch fire and the dark beauty to crumble, screeching in pain.
Meanwhile Teal pointing her wand at Michael Corner who had just nailed Blaise in the back with his fist, yelled in rage.
"Petrificus Totalus!"
As Michael tumbled to the ground Teal was soon upon him, her foot smashing down upon his face, shattering his nose.
The entire Slytherin table had begun to rise to their housemates' defense. I began to sob, rushing to Morrigan's side. I batted at the flames, my hands burning. I glanced up hearing the loud booming command.
"ENOUGH!"
Professor Dumbledore, followed closely by Snape, Hagrid and Professor Sprout appeared. Spotting Snape, Teal and Blaise were quickly at my side. Dumbledore stood over Morrigan, waving his hand over her the flames went out. He brushed hair from her face and searched for a pulse.
"Hagrid! Take Ms. Coal to the hospital wing.
Immediately!" Hagrid nodded moving over and gently scooping up the tall girl. Before moving off quickly.
Dumbledore glanced to Ernie and Michael fixing their broken noses with a wave of his wand.
"You six in my office! Now!" He snapped.
Hannah Abbott was cooing over Ernie, sobbing as they walked. Blaise was sporting a black eye but despite himself was beaming. He had a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.
"It'll be fine. Besides that little vermin had no right in saying it!"
I still had know idea what it was that had angered Blaise so, but I didn't inquire. My mind else where, with Draco.

I sat in Dumbledore's office, Fawkes had surprisingly taken to me placing himself comfortably upon my knee. All six of the students sat in the squishy armchairs. Blaise and Ernie farthest apart. Dumbledore rubbed his temples, and looked up.
"Slytherin's first. What happened?"
Blaise spoke immediately, his harsh ebony opals upon Ernie in disgust.
"We were walking to the Great Hall for lunch. When we walked past the Slytherin table, that disgraceful little-"
"Language Mr. Zabini."
"Yes, Sorry Sir. Anyways, that Hufflepuff he… said stuff that shouldn't be said." Blaise growled.
"I did not! It's all truth! Everyone knows she's just the Gryffindor betraying whor…"
Ernie was interrupted as I began once more to feel tears run down my cheeks and Blaise jumped to his feet.
Dumbledore looked shocked, "Mr. Macmillan that name alone gives you 2 weeks detention with Snape. Mr. Zabini I ask you to please be seated and Ms. Weasley please get yourself together for a moment longer."
Blaise smirked slightly, still looking enraged, before actually sitting down. Dumbledore rubbed his temples in his stress. Before sighing.
"Alright. Ms. Abbott for hurting another student critically you are sentenced to 1 month's detention. Mr. Zabini and Ms. Zeratori for breaking the noses of two students you receive 2 weeks each. Mr. Corner you seem to have been merely a victim but that doesn't mean you didn't consider such you get 2 nights with Mr. Filch. Finally Mr. Macmillan you recive 3 weeks, plus your additional 2 weeks for your language prior. Now I ask you all to leave me alone with Ms. Weasley, Mr. Zabini and Ms. Zeratori you have my permission to go see Ms. Coal and then go to your afternoon classes. The other please go there right away."
The others rose, I nodded to Blaise and Teal reassuringly before looking to Dumbledore with his twinkling eyes, behind half moon spectacles. Dumbledore didn't speak just pulled something from his robes and placed it infront of me. I raised an eyebrow before looking closer. It was a bundle of letters tied with the same dark green as my letter had been the previous day.
"What is this Professor?"
"That Ms. Weasley is a bundle of letters, addressed to and from Mr. Malfoy. He asked me to make sure you got them Said something about it helping to explain things to you." The old man smiled, wringing his hands and looking to Fawkes still upon my knee.
"You also have been excused from classes to day because of your present situation. I'm not as dense or un-understanding as some might think." His eyes glittered and I couldn't help but smile.
"Thank you Professor." I reached forward gingerly scooping up the letters. Fawkes fluttered back to his stand and I rose out of my chair. I made my way towards the door with once last glance to Dumbledore who was pulling what looked like a pensive from his wardrobe. I moved silently down the stairs usually I would stop and tickle the gargoyles, I remembered the time me and Drake had snogged against them. My eyes once more became watery and I choked back tears. Swiftly I moved threw the hallways, once back in my own room I was immensely relived. I would see Morrigan later… at the moment I had letters to read.
The first thing my pale fingers went after was my gift from Draco. I pulled the tiny jewelry box from underneath my pillow and snapped it open. A letter, magically of course, tumbled onto my lap and I ripped it open with shaking hands.

My Dearest and Most Beloved Gin,

I am so sorry. I know how I have left you was wrong and your hurting. I'm so sorry Love. I had to go, if you go to Dumbledore he'll give you something, maybe it will help you understand. Nothing I do will ever make you forgive me… but you see, this is all for your own good. Your to good for me anyway… I can't explain now… I don't have enough time but just know Gin. I love you. Forever and For Always. I was going to ask you to promise yourself to me before, this, came up. I want you still. Promise you'll wait for me? I know in my other note I said don't continue to love me but I know if you stop I'll die. You are the only thing that will keep me alive. Because if he finds out, I'm worse than dead. Don't cry My Princess. I love you.

Draco.

It was then I knew what the box contained. I began to sob as I clicked the box open. Inside was a ring, it had three stones. Two dark almost black emeralds and in the middle a diamond, set upon a silver band with a small inscription, 'I beat Potter. Thank god, because I'd die without you.' Completely flawless and the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. It made my heart break. I crumpled his letter tossing it aside, before slipping the ring on to my finger. I wailed, my heart shattering once more.
"Draco! How could you do this to me? Where are you? I love you." I began to sob.
Flipping over and burying my face into my pillows. Letting them soak up my tears. As I shifted I heard a ruffle of paper and spotted the other letters. With my shaky fingers I undid the ribbon and slipped the first letter from it's envelope. It was to Draco, from Dumbledore.

Mr. Malfoy,

The Order of the Pheonix thanks you greatly for the work you have been doing for us over the summer. You have made great sacrifices none of us could ever imagine. And it seems you have won over the untamable Ms. Weasley. I am impressed and send my congrats and good lucks. Does she know of what you do? My letter shall not contain much more… for fear of interception, I send good wishes.

Albus Dumbledore.

The next was from Draco to Dumbledore…

Professor… Mr… Dumbledore,

I shall never grow accustomed to calling to by simply Albus. I thank you for you words in the last letter. As for your question she knows naught and I wish to keep such that way. May your holidays be merry.
Draco.

The next was from Draco's father, and it scared me…

Draco,

The Dark Lord wishes for you to come to him. He is sick of your stalling, to be truthful as am I. We need information of him NOW! Send word for the next Hogsmeade weekend, or you'll be sorry. For the month of November and until the Dark Lord sees fit you shall come to him and work alongside him. I want know complaints. Don't tell anywhere your going. The Dark Lord had something special in mind for you.
Lucius

I frowned, what kind of father signs with their first name? I was beginning to slowly understand. But the next letter… it would tell me everything… It was from Draco's father once more… to Drake.

Draco.

News has reached me that you are romantically involved with the Weasley wench. What is your idea? Get closer to Potter! You disgust me! The Dark Lord has also receive news you are part of the opposition! You! Helping Muggles! You shall pay ever so dearly if such news turns to be true. The Dark Lord wants you here! On September 13, and I want no damn excuses about your wench's birthday being the next month anymore! You have a new mission, to prove if your really worthy and to be trusted. If you do not succeed, you no full well the conciquences. Do not fail Draco. As for your task,
The Dark Lord wants you to kill one William "Bill" Arthur Weasley. Actually he's the brother of your whore. If you do not succeed you no you shall be killed… and not only that. Tortured, at the very least. He is working alongside Dumbledore. If you fail the Dark Lord will send for you on October 13, the day of your little girlfriend's birthday, what a shame. He shall use the dark mark, you'll feel it burn.

Lucius

It was then I knew exactly where and what had happened to Drake. With a look to the ring upon my finger I broke in wracking sobs, many letters remained but I knew. Draco hadn't killed Bill, Draco was be killed. I tossed the letters aside and felt like ripping my heart from my chest. Burying my face into my pillows I cried. Harder than I'd ever cried in my life. Draco needed me, anybody and if his own father wouldn't help him. Who could? I knew I'd never see Draco against and I soon cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke I felt a hand rubbing my back and heard voices.
"Well you can't just take off Blaise. Gin would shatter." That was Teal. I heard the familiar strong voice of Morrigan, hard to believe she'd recently been critical, or had it been almost recently. Come to think of it, why was I know longer in my dorm? Or my bed.
"I don't want to say it, but how do we know Draco's really dying? What if he really just couldn't stand his father's beatings, and he's hiding out till he can come back for us." Blaise snarled here.
"Drake loves Gin and all of us! Don't say different Morrigan!"
"I've known him bloody longer than you Zabini!"
"Well obviously you didn't!"
"Excuse me! I'm the one Draco always went to for advice, especially with Gin."
"Yah because you're a damn girl! You think he shared his other problems with you? I know all of them!" Then Teal's voice broke threw the yells.
"IF YOU DON'T MIND! Gin needs her rest! You two know that not hush! Draco did what he had to do. But Blaise you have no right going after him."
"I got to Teal. You don't know him like me and Morrigan-"
Morrigan snorted, "Oh so I know him now."
Blaise flashed her a glare, "I have to. He'll die before hurting Gin like that. He's probably killing himself for leaving like he did but he next could have told her. He wasn't allowed to tell anyone."
It was there I sat up, knowing now I was in the hospital wing, in a bed next to Morrigan who was covered in a sticky paste.
"HE TOLD YOU!" I choked back tears of hurt.
"You knew what was going on Blaise? And you never told me?"
Blaise moved towards her only to have his hands smacked away.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"Gin, Gin I'm so sorry. I… he made me swear. You have to understand."
"Understand what that my friends lied to me!"
Blaise shook his head, choking back tears.
"That Dray might be dead."

Author's Note: I Love you all and if you guys want more Chapters then review…
Love Yah Ebony. Also if your interested in one shots, I have one… it's short but it's not that bad. Called Missing Scarlet.