Kagome deeply sighed as she laid down restlessly on the living room couch. She tossed her right arm over the armrest behind her and cast her gaze towards the large window. The bland curtains were concealing the view outside. With a breath of annoyance, Kagome sat up as she swung her legs over the edge of the couch. Eyebrows furrowed, she stepped toward to the window and tugged at the string at the side. Kagome squinted and blinked her eyes. The rays of the sun stung her vision and warmed her facial skin. She rested her elbow on the window sill and placed her chin on her open palm. A small smile crept over her lips. A delicate shade of pale blue painted over the sky.
"Seems like today's going to be a good day...", Kagome contemplated to herself. No clouds in the sky and there was a slight breeze.
She let out a sigh and got into her previous position on the couch. She stared up at the ceiling until her vision blurred. This was her regular thing. It was summer and there was no school to go to. No where she had to be. And no computer to turn to. Ugh...
Every night, this past week and a half, Kagome would lay down and... contemplate. She'd be on the couch at twelve in the morning, and fall asleep around two or three. She'd think about everything. It's hard for her to rethink what she thought about exactly, and put them into words. It's just a spur of the moment; Kagome's thoughts. They can never be exactly recreated into the same words her mind spoke.
Kagome continues to lay on the couch; contemplating. She thinks of everything and everyone. Today, it finally dawned on her.
I just know what I do. How I twirl my pen in class. How I rub my ring finger on my right hand with my other when I get nervous. How I pretend to get tired and yawn when I think everyone is watching me. How my voice changes when I speak to different people. How I get over excited and have a hard time speaking. How I'm so indecisive and change my mind frequently. How I don't really enjoy using the phone. How I know my favorite soda, cookies, and colour and am prepared to know exactly what to say if and when someone would ask what my favorites are; except food. How I love the wind, but then hate it instantly when it get's my hair tangled and into my face. How I pity those who don't try. How I laugh at difficult situations. How I laugh at myself to try and catch me from falling back into the dark. I just know what I do. I think about myself. How selfish of me.
Why. Why do I know what I do? It's like I'm in love with myself. I just enjoy how I know what I'm going to do or what I've done. I amuse myself. I find myself so interesting. I just can't wait to see what's the next thing I'll do.
I just know what I do. Not what I feel. I'm such a complicated person. But it's easy to tell what I do when I do, if you just watch me. The most difficult issue is how to understand the way I feel. Even I can't.
It isn't bad to think the way and how much I do. But it can get dangerous.
It's a pity I only know what I do, Kagome contemplated to herself as she glared up at the ceiling.
There's really nothing to do over the summer.