Malik had not spoken for a week. His silence was slowly beginning to seem "normal" to the Ishtar household. Isis and Rishid didn't ask him many questions now. When they did ask, the questions were mostly yes-or-no, easily answered by a nod or shake of the head.
Twice, Isis had forgotten and asked Malik about his day. At those times, he had stared at her with a pitying look on his face until she remembered. He then turned away quickly so as not to see the pain and disappointment in her eyes.
He was sick of hurting her, but what other choice was there? If he did speak—if he allowed that something within him to come out—it would hurt her even more. It would hurt everyone.
He was trying. Each day, before his siblings woke up, Malik tried to say something aloud to himself, a simple "Good morning," anything. But every time, he felt his words being choked and twisted by the emotions he had to hold in, so he didn't speak after all.
He was beginning to lose hope, beginning to think he would never be able to speak again. It saddened him, but keeping that feeling locked inside was more important. If he let it out, it would be a horrible failure… a dangerous reversion.
He had tried several times to write down why he couldn't talk. He didn't intend the notes to be explanations to Rishid and Isis like the first; they were meant to be more like a journal. But like the feeling that choked Malik, the fear of telling his siblings about it was getting stronger by the day. The thought that they might read the notes—it was terrifying.
He had burnt every single one.
It was on the eighth morning of Malik's silence that Rishid found Isis crying on her bed. Immediately, he went and touched her on the shoulder.
"Isis-sama, why are you crying?"
Isis gave a small gasp and straightened, wiping her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I'm fine, I just sort of lost myself for a moment." She put on a very weak smile, as if trying to show Rishid that everything was fine.
He didn't fall for it. "Are you worried about Malik-sama?" he guessed.
Isis shrugged. "I'm overreacting," she criticized herself bluntly. "I have to get used to the fact that Malik's not talking. I just… sort of… can't." With a bitter laugh, she added, "After three years, I finally have my beloved brothers back. But now… Malik won't even talk… and it's like I don't have him back after all." She stared down at her hands, and Rishid took a seat next to her.
"Rishid…" Isis said after a minute, "was there ever a time when Malik stopped talking before?"
It took Rishid only a moment to think. "After Ishtar-sama was killed, Malik-sama stopped talking. Do you remember?"
Isis cocked her head, looking surprised. "Oh," she said. "I had forgotten about that. He didn't speak for weeks." She paused briefly. "But it's obvious why he stopped talking then," she continued. "Have there been times that he's just stopped for no reason at all? Like now?"
"You do not think Malik-sama has a reason now?" Rishid asked curiously. "Isis-sama, imagine how much he went through during Battle City. His possession by his dark side… his discovery of the truth about your father's death… Suddenly, Malik-sama had to completely revise his idea of the Pharaoh, while at the same time dealing with the guilt of creating such an evil self. You must know how much that guilt affected him—you experienced his way of dealing with some of it, didn't you?"
"Yes," Isis whispered with a great shudder. "He said it would be better for him to just end his existence, in order to make up for his crimes…"
"But instead, Malik-sama chose to destroy his other self by abandoning his pride and surrendering to the one he'd hated for five years. Almost immediately after that, he had to again forget his pride and fulfill a destiny he's never wanted to accept. I'm sure Malik-sama is still dealing with the effects of those events, and it may be emotions stemming from those effects that stop him from speaking."
Isis sighed, reluctantly nodding in agreement. Then she looked at Rishid strangely. "It… 'may be'?" she asked. "Can't you tell? I mean… if you help Malik bear his emotions, can't you feel them too…?"
Rishid shook his head. "At the end of Battle City, Malik-sama asked me to let him face his emotions on his own," he explained. "He wants to become strong and bear his own emotions."
"But…" Isis said, looking confused. "But now he's stopped talking, so there must be something that's too much for him, something he can't stand on his own…"
"He will learn to bear it soon," Rishid said calmly.
"Soon?" Isis repeated incredulously. "How can you talk about 'soon'? Malik is suffering right now—he needs your help!"
"Would you have me go against Malik-sama's wishes, Isis-sama?" Rishid asked.
"He needs it, Rishid!" Isis insisted. "If there's something he can't bear, then you need to help him!"
Rishid shook his head. "Malik-sama will overcome this on his own. Everyone has problems that are hard to deal with, Isis-sama. And eventually, everyone overcomes them."
"I don't care! Malik needs your help!" Isis rose from her bed and glared at Rishid. "You're supposed to protect him!"
Unperturbed by Isis's anger, Rishid said, "When Malik-sama was younger, he went through trauma that would be too much for any child, so I tried to help him then. But what he is dealing with now can be overcome. If I continue trying to bear his emotions for him, he will never be able to mature." Isis opened her mouth to protest, but Rishid held up a hand. "Malik-sama is no longer a child, Isis-sama. I know it is painful to see your brother suffer, but we cannot protect him from everything."
"I want you to protect Malik from one thing, is that too much to ask?" Isis demanded.
"I will not do that, Isis-sama. Malik-sama's decision to bear his own emotions is wise and brave. I will not go against it."
"Yes, you will! I command it!" Isis cried bitterly. "And you have to obey me—you're a servant!"
The words hit Rishid with all the shock and pain of a lightning bolt. "Isis-sama…"
Isis's eyes widened as she realized what she'd said. "Rishid, I didn't mean that!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that, I swear!"
"I know," Rishid said heavily. "I know you didn't, Isis-sama."
Isis took a hesitant step forward. "How could I say such a thing?" she said weakly. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, Rishid, I didn't mean that…"
"I forgive you, Isis-sama. You're worried about Malik-sama."
"That's no excuse…" Isis sat back down on her bed and bent over, pressing her hands against her face as if hiding within herself. Then, slowly, she admitted, "I'm so scared…" She lowered her hands and looked at Rishid. There were tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to do about Malik. I don't even know if there's anything I can do, but… I want to help him. I want to help him in any way I can."
"So do I, Isis-sama," Rishid agreed, "but taking away Malik's freedom to bear his own emotions would not help him."
"I know," sighed Isis. "Even when I was arguing, I knew that, but…" She trailed off and shrugged. She paused for a moment, then asked Rishid, "How do you do it?"
"Do what, Isis-sama?"
"How can you be so in control of yourself? I know you must be as worried about Malik as I am—maybe more—but you never break down like I do… and I try so hard…"
Rishid had to think for a while to answer. "I'm very worried about Malik-sama," he said, "but I also trust him. I know that he cares for the two of us, and that he is not trying to hurt us with his silence. I know that he will be able to overcome his inability to speak. Even when I am most worried for Malik-sama, that trust is like a light shining through my fear."
"…A light of hope…" Isis murmured to herself. Then, quietly determined, she added, "We need to help Malik… find his light."
Rishid smiled slightly. "We will do that."
Yay! Now comes the part where I get to talk to my reviewers!
ketaglass: Well, you're wrong ;-)... But thanks for reading! And keep going to find out!
The Fifth Champion: I'm so glad you like it :-)! Thank you for reviewing! All of your reviews make me so happy. And yes, you will have to keep reading to find out why poor Malik can't talk... Don't worry, it will be revealed! (Actually, it's kind of hinted at in this chapter, ne?)
So! Reviews are much appreciated. I've already written the next few chapters, but I might choose to incorporate good suggestions...
But if you do review...please humor me and keep in mind that I think of "Marik" as the dub character, whom I hope to burn alive someday. I wrote about Malik. Please say Malik. Please forgive my obsessive insanity.
I'll put my straightjacket back on now...