Kips: The last time I updated this story was November 17th of 2004…woooooooow. Ok well, I'm attempting to pick this story up again cuz little heathens are fuuuuuuun.

Yusuke: -twitches- stop…talking…

Kips: Oh, don't get your dippers in a puddle. Onward read!

Kuwabara lifted his head groggily. He was laying flat on his stomach, somewhere between the couch and the TV. His head spun, he was a millisecond away from throwing up, and he was still immensely drunk. Nonetheless, he was bored. Slowly, he pushed his body up from the floor, and stood wobbly on his weak knees, proving to us all that even at a young age, Kazuma Kuwabara was an unstoppable force to be reckoned with.

His small orange head swiveled about, his beady eyes taking in all there was to see. Not much. Tiny Kuwabara took a shaky step towards the couch and explosive babysitter, paused, pondered, then turned and ran off in the direction of the master bedroom.

-It's Morning-

Kei woke up, stretched, and took a long long look at the nearest clock. "Hm…only three more minutes until Mesa comes. Damn her…" Kei punched her right hand with her left fist. "Oh right, twits. Guess I should take inventory." She rubbed her aching head. "How many twits were there?" She shrugged, counted five and hoped for the best.

"I wonder if they have any spare tooth brushes." She thought, and quickly began to tiptoe through the maze of bodies. She was walking past Shuichi, when for whatever reason, she was stopped. "Hm…" She knelt down besides him, and tapped his ear, as if it might tell her why she felt something was wrong. She sat there, staring blankly at the unmoving tot until the light bulb flashed in her head.

"Wasn't his hair…almost down past his…ears?" She mused to herself in mild terror. She reached out and gently touched a butchered strand of red hair, and was shocked yet again when Shuichi's head turned, allowing Kei a glimpse at a new terror.

Shuichi's nose was colored entirely purple with eye shadow, Barbie pink lipstick was smeared in large chunks across his forehead (which was conveniently making his hair and anything else which came in contact with it stick to his skin), and various other powders and creams had been slathered across his cheeks.

Oh….SHIT!" Kei screamed, raising a chorus of disapproving screams and cries. "AHHHHHH! SHUT UP! PLEASE! PLEASE I'M SORRY I'M SORRY PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE!" She cried with them, hands held securely over her ears and eyes clamped shut. "IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS! THE NEIGHBORS WILL THINK I'M FUCKING RAPING YOU!" Kei screamed above them, causing all the crying to stop in freakish unison. Kei blinked. Five child heathens blinked back. It was dead silent. They blinked.

"Ooooo…k…" Kei said unsteadily, eyeing the hellions cautiously. All of them had jaggedly cut hair with occasional beauty products clumped about, and make-up covered faces. All except for one. Kei stood from where she had kneeled next to Shuichi, and slowly walked over to the blank-faced Kuwabara, who watched her predatory expression with wide, blank eyes.

"Alright you little brat, what did you do?" She interrogated in a low evil voice, bending over him ominously.

"I made them pretty?" He tried cutely, shrinking down until he finally fell onto his rump with an affirmative plop. Kei smacked her forehead hard.

"Great, we have an aspiring make up artist in the house. Just what I needed!" Kei announced to the ceiling. Kuwabara dug his foot into the ground in another attempt to look innocent, and smiled cutely.

"Oh…pass out or something, you're hung over." Kei huffed angrily, going off to the bathroom so she could inspect her own masterpiece make-over.

The front door opened, and another tiny chorus broke out, only this one was full of joyous "YAY'S!" rather then the screams and cries that Kei had become accustomed to over the past 24 hours.

"KEEEEEEEIIIII!" Mesa yelled, shutting the door, and kneeling down to hug her hung over mini-friends. Five sleepy faces twisted, pounding heads injured by the loud sounds of Mesa's voice.

"Mesa….I hate you." Kei greeted, stepping back into the living room. Mesa looked up from the kids, and with one look at Kei, was almost back in the floor in hysterics. Kei's once compulsively shaped jagged bangs were cut haphazardly, with the longest pieces barely touching her eyebrows, while the rest of her hair was randomly cut in spots, giving the teen the appearance of balding. Her eyes were traced in thickly applied cherry red lip stick, her lip/cheek/chin area randomly scribbled with a mixture between green and black eyeliner, and the hideous Barbie pink lipstick which was still smeared on Shuichi's forehead. Liquid foundation was globbed around on her forehead, with layers of fluorescent blush and multi-colored eye shadow on top. Kei twitched, not enjoying the feeling of drying make-up on her make-up opposed face.

Mesa continued to laugh, now lying in the floor clutching her stomach. Kei continued to twitch, and finally just got sick of hearing Mesa's laughter. To remedy this, she took a swift kick at Mesa's ribs, hitting them square on and causing Mesa to suck air hard.

"…oooooow." She complained hoarsely.

"Yeah well, that's what you get." Kei said simply. Mesa glared, and stood, holding her side.

"She's mean!" Yusuke said, pulling on Mesa's pant legs and pointing at Kei.

"No she isn't Yusuke." Mesa said kindly, tossing a questioning glance at Kei.

"She says fuck a lot." Kuwabara added, also tugging on Mesa's pant leg.

"Mesa, what does fuck mean?" Keiko asked, tugging on Mesa's sleeve.

"We're not bad are we?" Shuichi asked in an adorable guilt ridden voice as he waddled over to Mesa and hugged her leg. Mesa looked back up at Kei, the same expression on her face that a mother has when her child eats all the freshly baked cookies for a church benefit. Kei shrugged, the same blank expression on her face that a child who has just eating all her mothers fresh baked cookies for a church benefit has when she pretends she didn't eat all the cookies, even though the crumbs are still on her face. Mesa shook her head.

"Kei…." Mesa started, the scolding which was about to take place already rising in her voice. Kei held her hands up above her head.

"Before you say anything, you put me up to this; the kid's therapy later in life is your own fault." Kei said defensively, arms still raised in the air. Mesa gave her a skeptical side glance, laying a protective hand on Shuichi's funny looking head.

"Well, have you at least fed the dog?" Mesa asked, looking around the house which was currently torn apart, and littered with last nights dinner, sake bottles that had been some how misplaced by the evil children, toilet paper, make-up tubes, and anything else the munchkins had gotten their greasy mitts on.

"Um….no….but I did save it from impending doom if that counts for anything." Kei muttered halfheartedly, lowering her arms.

"Not really." Mesa said coldly, gently peeling the several pairs of hands off her pants and shirt so she could see if the dog was still among the living. She walked out to the back yard, followed by all the little hellions and Kei.

"You know Kei, if you were 12 years younger, you'd fit in with these guys perfectly." Mesa commented, kneeling down next to the dog house, where the golden retriever was curled up in a little ball.

"Even at the age of 4, I wouldn't have been caught dead with these rat bastards." Kei responded darkly, casting an evil glare at the gaggle of rodent children who were flocking around the dog house.

"Well, I'm going inside to start a clean up effort. Just….keep the kids out of the house and…" Mesa started to walk away, then stopped and appeared to be deep in thought, then waved Kei off. "Just…don't get any one killed alright?" She begged, then walked inside before Kei could protest.

"Ugh…and here I thought she would be freedom…" Kei said to herself, surveying the yard in search of a good tree to lean against.

"You….did it to yourself." A dark, sickly sounding voice said. Kei looked down, and saw the ominous red eyes of 2'5" Hiei and his used-to-be spiky hair. Kei raised an eyebrow, then picked up the demon, and sent him a glare to match his own.

"Listen buddy, I don't need the voice of reason from a hung-over five year old." Kei warned. Hiei continued to stare coldly at her. "Don't just glare at me bucko, you're only five! You aren't supposed to glare until you're seven and even then it's questionable!" Kei said, bouncing Hiei a bit on her hip. His head jostled limply a bit, and a very sick expression crossed his face.

"Ah no…"

Kips: That's the end of my comeback chapter!

Yusuke: Hey, I never got to do anything!

Kips: whacks Yusuke over the head Review!

Yusuke: grumbles

whack