Disclaimer: Alexander the Great, his lover Hephaestion, and his eunuch Bagoas were all real people. I am using the versions of them portrayed in Oliver Stone's film Alexander. I do not own Alexander or any of the characters blah blah blah..

Notes: Yes, these were real people. If you didn't already know: Bagoas was Alexander's eunuch, given to him as a peace-gift from the Persian officials after the battle of Guagamela (or thereabouts timewise). If you're going by the fim version, he is the extremely pretty dancer boy with the black hair thatAlexander kisses.

Also: there is a lot of disagreement about the spelling of Hephaestion's name. The way I choose to spell it will probably vary, but I promise I'll try to be consistant. But please don't complain to me if I don't spell it the same way you do/think it should be spelled.

This may or may not be more than one chapter long, I'm not sure. It depends on whether or not there's interest or whatever. So uh.. kindly read and review.

I'm not sure why I did it. It's funny how one questions their motives after the damage has been done. As I watch Bagoas leave my bed, I am struck by an undeniable remorse. I feel bad for having put him in such a predicament as he now faces because he is a good boy. No— not boy. He is a man. Just as I, just as Alexander. The more I think on it, the more I am certain that it was out of spite. Not just against Alexander himself but against the campaign that has stolen him from me. Against the woman that has stolen him from me.

Roxane hates me. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. I am not bothered by it though. The feeling is very much mutual. But it is not her that I hate. It is her attachment to my Alexander. It is the same reason I had quarrels with Olympias. All over possession of a man that none of us could tame.

When I recover from my thoughts, Bagoas is standing before me. I look up at him, his pretty face and his soft, dark hair. He is so different from my Alexander. Opposite in every way. Where Bagoas is Selene, the moon, and all the stars, Alexander is Apollo with his fiery chariot in the sky. Alexander is know by all and dominates his surroundings while Bagoas remains an enigma to all.

All but me.

I imagine he was more of a listener than a speaker to Alexander, but it was I who was there to listen to them both, though my conversations with Bagoas were few and far between.

"Hephaestion—"

He sits beside me and begins to speak. I place my finger over his lips to quiet him and then my mouth. He makes no sound and does not protest, but I have had my fill of him. The guilt of what I have done makes me feel ill and so I ask him to leave.

He does as he is asked. In a manner of seconds, his robe is on and he is gone from my chamber entirely.

I will sorely regret this and I am fully aware of it. Not only am I afraid that Alexander will be angry when news on my dalliance with his eunuch, I am more afraid of what his jealousy will drive him to.

What is a man to do when two men that he loves dearly commit adultery? And worse—with each other! My spiteful act will have served no purpose, as it will only rouse another counter-attack from him. I fear that if it continues, the rest of our lives will be spent avenging our broken hearts— which were the fault of not each other, but ourselves in the first place.

I shall not tell Alexander and I will hope that Bagoas will keep his silence as well.