Kips: weeooweeooweeoo!

Yusuke: -buhlink-

Kips: -bounces around room- I ish so hyyyyyyyper…so…ONWARD WITH THE READINGNESS –hisses-

Kei was about to toss little Hiei onto the ground, but barely had the time to flip him around, and scoot the toes of her denim converse out of the way before the entire contents of Hiei's stomach was on the ground for the world to see. She stood there, head turned away from Hiei on her tip-toes, with her arms under Hiei's armpits, holding him as far away from her body as possible, and vomit faced Hiei hanging in the air. He inspected his own stomach acid from the distance with a rather curious glint in his crimson eyes.

"You little demon brat, I'm entirely tempted to drop you in your own stomach acid right here…right NOW!" Kei yelled, shaking Hiei gently. His head flopped around on his non-supporting neck, and another wave of nausea coursed through his stomach. This time, nothing happened because he no longer had anything left to spew.

Kei was now trapped. She had a hung over five year old, who just blew chunks all over the back yard, which was impossible to clean as opposed to a floor which requires a mop or a squirt of oxy booster carpet edition. She also had four other children below the age of 5 who were very much hung over and sleep deprived, and had found pleasure in pulling the dog out of the dog house by using its tail as a leash.

"You know, it's a good thing animal cruelty doesn't count for one time actions in the hands of a couple of infants." Kei lectured, practically dropping Hiei and pushing the culprits, Yusuke and Kuwabara, away from the small retriever. The dog playfully dodged Kei and then was distracted by something. It trotted over to where Kei had been standing.

"Oh gods no…" Kei said, suppressing a gag. The dog lowered its head…

"NO NO NO BAD DOG WHAT THE FUCK GET AWAY SHOOOOOO!" Kei screamed, running towards the dog, who ran to the opposite side of the yard. Kei, as we have all come to learn, is an intelligent young demon, and to prove such to us, she stepped in a pile of toddler puke, slipped, broke one hand and a nail.

She laid there, eyes closed, for almost 20 minutes. Her right hand was throbbing so badly that Kei no longer believed that it even existed, since that much pain was surely impossible all at once. The vomit was slowly seeping into her pant legs, the acid starting to sting at her calves. She clamped her eyes tighter when she felt five presences huddling over her after she had laid there in a dead state for the full extent of the 20 minutes.

"Yady?" Keiko asked shyly.

"Hey, wake up!" Yusuke demanded, kicking her with all his 2 year old might.

"Hey, are you dead?" Kuwabara asked, crouching down and poking the upturned palm of her broken right hand. He poked the very tip of the bone which was barely poking through her highly damaged skin. That's what I get for breaking my fall…

"Miss?" Shuichi prodded quietly, crouching down and watching Kei intently. Just stay still Kei. Maybe if you don't move…they'll think you're dead. They'll leave you alone…wait for it…wait…

"MEEEEEEEESAAAAAAAA!" All five kids screamed in eerie unison. Mesa jogged out of the back door, head tilted, hands on her hips, and a wary expression in her eyes.

"She kicks buckets." Yusuke said, pointing down at Kei with a matter-of-fact expression on his face. Mesa raised an eyebrow, and moved to a different spot so she could loom over Kei in a stalker like fashion.

"What do you mean Yusuke?" Mesa asked, squatting down, and staring unblinkingly at the barely breathing Kei, who only wished she "kicks buckets" instead of lying in a pool of vomit with a broken hand.

"She dead." Kuwabara said plainly, kicking Kei in the shoulder, sending a forceful wave of pain down the arm and into the shattered hand.

Mesa tilted her head again, watching Kei breathe, and not getting it at all. Kei suddenly reached up with her left hand and latched onto Mesa's wrist.

"Mesa, please, get a gun, and fucking shoot me." Kei begged with some effort, after all, being drop dead miserable is hard work.

"Kei, what happened?" Mesa asked, sounding slightly unconcerned.

"Oh nothing much. Hiei puked, Yusuke and Kuwabara abused the dog, the dog tried to eat the puke, now I'm laying in it and I'm bleeding everywhere because I have a pesky bone fragment sticking out of my skin."

"For some one who's supposed to be dead, you have a pretty firm grip on reality." Mesa said, helping Kei sit up.

"Damn firm, but only with my left hand." Kei said, about three and a half nanoseconds from breaking into hysterical sobs and strangling everything in sight.

"Are you ok?" Mesa took hold of Kei's right hand, knowing full well that it would be excrutiatingly painful, and inspected the bloody palm of Kei's hand. "It looks horrible."

"Yeah. The broken hand doesn't hurt so much…as my broken nail." Kei joked, pointing to her index finger which had lost about 90 of the nail and was bleeding profusely.

"Kei, how did you do that much damage just by falling down?"

"TALK IS CHEAP GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Kei screamed at the top of her lungs, no longer able to stand being collected about blinding pain and loss of blood.

-In the Hospital-

Mesa sat each of the tots down in a cushy waiting room chair. They all looked at her expectantly, waiting for her words of instruction.

"I'm going to go into the room and see if Kei is ok. I want you guys to stay here and be quiet. If you want to, there are some toy's right here." Mesa pointed to a plastic hamper full of filthy toys left over from doctor's children who had gone off to college ten years ago. "You can play with them, but quietly." To reinforce this, she put her index finger over her lips and made a quiet "shhh" noise. Each of them copied, except for Hiei who had been mostly reserved, except for the yelling around Kei in which he fully participated because anger fueled him ("little rat bastard" Kei thought at that moment) . "Ok, I'll be right back." Mesa stood, and walked hurriedly out of the overly silent waiting room.

The kids looked around the room. There were at most 10 others cramped into the sterile smelling room. There were several old people, a father with his three children, and a few laughing teens in a corner.

After five minutes of angelic behavior, Shuichi and Kuwabara fell asleep, Shuichi's head resting on Kuwabara's shoulder, and Kuwabara's head resting on Shuichi's head. Yusuke and Keiko leaped off their chairs, and waddled over to the three children. The two little girls gathered around Keiko, and they went off to play house with some moldy haired barbies. The little boy and Yusuke slinked off to a dark corner, and within minutes they were having a biting contest. Whoever could leave the biggest teeth marks in the chair leg won.

"Ha…you lose." Yusuke bragged, pointing at the little boy's saliva blob on the chair. The little boy cried.

Hiei went for a lovely little stroll in circles.

The doctor came in, and inspected Kei's hand.

"That was a nice break." The doctor commented, trying to be friendly to lighten Kei's mood. She continued to glare daggers at the black haired physician. "How did you do it?" Kei thought for a moment. Should she tell the truth, or make up a story? He won't believe me either way…

"Well, I was helping my friend baby-sit." Mesa stepped into the room. "And one of the little…things threw up and the dog was about to eat it. So, I ran to make the dog go away, slipped, and tried to break my fall using my hand. I have bad coordination, so only my index finger hit the ground….I think…I don't actually remember how my hand hit the ground I made up the last part." The doctor grunted, then actually took time to analyze this. He finally understood, and sniffed. Kei blushed. She was wearing her puke pants.

"That explains the smell." The doctor teased. Kei resisted the urge to kick him where the sun don't shine.

"So doc," Mesa started, feeling all impressed with herself for calling him doc. "How does it look?"

"Well, she'll have the cast on for a while. She might not want to be in the way of any puddles of vomit from the sounds of it." He continued to tease, only strengthening Kei's craving. She could see it in her mind, the impact, the moan, the dramatic fall to the knees, the evil laughter and the sweet sweet satisfaction.

Kips: Ok ok, that's all you get this chapter. Tune in for the next installement and see what happens!

Yusuke: -boredly hits switch that's supposed to make canned audience applause sound off-

-…nothing happens-

Kips: -bows head- that's the third time this week that thing pooped out on me. –sigh- REVIEW!