Author's notes: Ok, so I guess that now that the story is coming to an end, I can't keep away from it. This is the chapter responsible for the rating, so sensetive people, be ware! lol I'm really grateful to those two who reviewed the last chapter (you know who you are), I guess I managed that cliffy then lol And I very much encourage everybody to review this chapter, because I'm really nervous about it, some may think I took it a little too far this time.

Enjoy!

Part XI

Of all the things he'd expected her to say, that was not one of them. And for a moment he was just staring at her, not knowing what to say, while thoughts rushed through his head. He'd forgotten Meg didn't know about that. He'd been so eager to leave it all behid him that he hadn't even cared to tell her about it. But now he was put face to face with the past once more, and did he want to tell her about it? He should, and he knew it. She deserved to know, she'd been there for him all this time.

So he told her. He told her the whole embarrassing story, from the moment when he and Madame Giry had left Meg standing backstage, to when he woke up in Madame Giry's apartment. Meg didn't say one word while he spoke, just sat on the floor at his feet and held his hand. Raoul himself told the story in a voice stripped off all emotions, and he didn't shed one tear the whole time. When he finished talking, Meg just looked at him for a long time without saying anything. Raoul couldn't read the look in her eyes, but it was close to expressionless.

After a moment, she spoke, "It wasn't so hard to talk about it, was it?" Raoul shook his head and Meg continued, "I actually think you need to talk about it, and think about it. Do not push it away, that will only make it worse."

Raoul smiled and pulled his fingers through her hair. "You are so sweet to try to help me, Meg, but I think I am a hopeless case."

Meg shook her head. "No, you're not, you just have to realize that." She rose. "I have to talk to Maman about tomorrow. Will you wait here?"

Raoul nodded, and Meg left the room, still wearing only her dressing gown. It was a Friday evening, not many people were left in the Opera.

When he was left alone, Raoul's thoughts immediately returned to what he and Meg had been talking about. He knew she was right. It wouldn't hurt to talk about it, or think about it, but it was just such an embarrassing moment in Raoul's life. It had all been just a big failure. He hadn't been able so protect or save the woman he loved, she'd had to do it herself. And Raoul had no doubt what so ever, that if Christine hadn't kissed The Phantom, he would have been killed without mercy. And to add more to the pain, when Christine had had to save herself, Raoul hadn't even been able make her stay with him. Despite everything that the monster had done to her, she'd wanted to stay with him.

Raoul angrily rose from the chair and began pacing the room. He was a big failure, he'd failed and The Phantom had succeeded. And now, more than a month afterwards, he hadn't even managed to hunt him down. He hadn't even tried to.

He sat down in the chair again.

"There has to be some way to find them," he thought aloud. "Someone must know where they are." He put his head in his hands and began searching through all the events that had occured since he came here in the first place. And suddenly his head flew up. Madame Giry! She'd saved The Phantom when they'd both just been children, she'd said so herself. And she'd covered for him ever since. She'd let him get away with everything he'd done in the Opera, and Raoul was quite sure that if her precious Phantom's life had been threatened again, she would save him again. No matter who was hurt.

Raoul heared the door open, and he rose and pulled Meg inside and closed the door behind her. She scanned his face with worried eyes.

"What has happened to make you this excited, Raoul?"

"I had a thought, Meg." He let go of her and began pacing the room again. "You know that they just disappeared, without a single trace," he said, not bothering to explain who he was talking about. "Isn't that a little hard? The news about what he'd done were all over Paris in no time, there's no way they could have gotten out unseen."

"So?" Meg, who was leaning against the door, raised her eyebrows.

"So, someone had to help them. Someone who knew the Opera like their own pocket, and who'd saved him before." Raoul stopped walking and looked at her. "Your mother."

Meg just stared at him with her mouth wide open. "Do you have any idea what you are saying, Raoul?" she asked when she'd recovered. "You are accusing my mother of hiding a criminal."

Raoul nodded, and even though he saw the doubtful and pained look in her eyes, he couldn't feel sorry for her, or understand her.

Meg walked over to the chair and sat down, staring at him in disbelief. Raoul knelt before her and took her hands.

"I told you what happened that night, Meg, and you know as well as I do that they couldn't have gotten out without help. The police had every exit covered. And only a person who'd saved him before would do it again."

Meg squeezed his hands. "But Maman wouldn't help a criminal escape. There are many things-"

"Yes, she would," Raoul interrupted. "I am quite sure she thinks of him as her brother, and that she wants him to be happy."

Meg pulled her hands free from his grasp and stood up. "But she wouldn't if it took Christine's freedom away. And besides that, there are so many things in what you are saying that does not fit." She went and stood in the middle of the room with her back to Raoul.

Raoul also rose, but remained where he was. "How can you be so sure she didn't help him? How can you know she isn't working with this maniac, that she helped him manipulate Christine all along?"

Meg whirled around, her eyes burning with rage. "Because she is my mother! Because Christine was like a daughter to her too. Maman might think of him as her brother, but she wouldn't ever do anything to harm neither me nor Christine."

Raoul had never seen Meg this angry. She was yelling at him, a thing he'd never seen her do to anybody before, and that almost made him hold his tongue. But not quite.

"Then what if she too was manipulated by him?" he tried. "What if he had some catch on her that made her do whatever he-" Raoul was interrupted. Meg had thrown the brush across the room.

"Stop it, Raoul!" she screamed. "This conversation isn't at all about this, is it? You do not really believe in any of it, do you? You just need someone to blame for your own mistakes."

"What!" Now Raoul was becomming angry. Who the hell did she think she was talking to him like that?

"You couldn't keep Christine. She wanted to go with a deformed monster." Meg looked at him with pity in her eyes, all anger had vanished in an instant. "And you need someone to blame for that."

"Is there a point with your tale, Mademoiselle?" Raoul asked in a low threatening voice.

"Yes, there is, Raoul." Meg didn't seem to notice his anger, and that only made Raoul even more angry. "The point is that she went with him because she wanted to. She wanted to, and you know that. She would rather be with an ugly, middleaged criminal than with you. She didn't want you. She doesn't want you." Meg stopped talking when Raoul took a step towards her, but then she continued in as firm a voice as ever. "She won't some back, Raoul, no matter what you do."

Raoul couldn't believe what he was hearing. Meg couldn't be serious? But she was. She'd looked him straight in the eyes all the time, and she wasn't even looking away now, when she must know how badly she'd insulted, and hurt, him.

She didn't want you. She doesn't want you. She won't come back. Her words were drumming inside Raoul's head, making him almost insane. She was wrong! Christine did love him, she would come back!

Raoul stared at Meg for a moment, and then he slowly began walking towards her. He stopped merely inches away from her and looked down into her eyes. She was almost a head shorter than him, and if he wanted to, hurting her would be very easy. Raoul knew that, and when he saw fear pass across Meg's face, he knew that she knew too.

He slowly raised his hands and put them around her neck. Meg gripped his wrists, and Raoul saw panic in her eyes. He slowly hardened his grip around her small neck, and her hands around his wrists began to try to pull him away. He then eased his grip a little, but instead of letting go, he began caressing the soft skin behind her ears with his thumbs. He saw the confused look in her eyes, and then he bent down and pressed his lips against hers. At first she just stood completely still, taken aback by his actions, but then she began to try and pull back. But Raoul wasn't prepared to let her go, and pressed himself even closer to her. And after a moment, she gave in. She relaxed and let go of his wrists and instead slid her arms around his neck.

Raoul was surprised at how it felt. It wasn't any different from kissing Christine, and he closed his eyes and imagined that it was Christine who was now unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it out of his trousers.

Raoul loosened his grip around her neck and slid his hands over her shoulders under the robe. The skin was so soft, and Raoul thought he'd never get enough. He could feel her hands lightly move over his shoulders and chest, and before he knew what he was doing, he'd lifted her up and was carrying her to the bed, still with his eyes closed. He gently laid her down on the bed, imagining brown curls spred out over white pillows. The image was so real he almost opened his eyes, but her eager hands on his shoulders pulling him down stopped him. He settled himself between her legs and bent down and kissed her again. This time she allowed him to slid his tongue in between her lips, and he moaned thankfully.

Her hands travelled from his shoulders down to the closure of his trousers, and he eagerly helped her get them open. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and before he really knew what he was doing, he'd thrust himself inside her. He thought he might have heared her cry out, but he was too absorbed in the animalistic movements of thrusting in and out of her to really care.

Afterwards, he would remember that it'd gone very fast, and that he hadn't really known what'd happened. And he also remembered that, for a moment, he'd felt extremely relaxed, floating around in a nothingness without a thought in his head except how good it felt. But it ended very soon, as with everything good, and reality crept in and made him open his eyes. And he did not see brown curls and Christine's smiling face as he'd imagined, hoped and, for a moment, thought. No, he saw Meg, with her eyes tightly shut in what Raoul could only name as pain.

He was off the bed and grabbing his clothes before he even knew it. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Meg sit up and pull the dressing gown shut around her.

"I'm sorry, Meg, so sorry," he stuttered as he searched for his jacket and cloak. They were hanging by the door, and he grabbed them and opened the door. "Please, just...forget this ever happened." He couldn't even look at her before he left her room.

"Raoul? Raoul, wait!" Meg called after him as the door slammed shut.

Author's notes: I know, that last line's exactly like the one Christine calls after him in the movie, but it was so fitting right there. And did I go too far?

REVIEW!