Author's notes: I'm back again, have you missed me? I'm ashamed over how long this took! I'm on summer-vac, I'm suppose to have all the time in the world. But noooo! I have to work. But here I am with another wonderful chapter, and I can happily (?)tell you all that there is only one more chapter after this. And then I'm through for this time. But not yet, I still have some reviwers to thank:

DragonheartRAB: Intense was just the feeling I wanted to create. And maybe a little confusion too. Because that was how Raoul was feeling. Confused and angry and...well, I don't know. And I can'tsay what Meg was feeling, that would spoil the rest of the story. But I promise, in the next, and last,chapter, I will answer every question you might have.

Eruliss: Well, I wouldn't say that Meg's questioning was good, not in this case, but I agree with you, she shouldn't just stand still with her mouth shut. And the drama was required, after all the dull chapters that I've put up lately.

Pertie: I'm glad you like the story, new readers are always nice lol Thanks so much for reviewing.

EriksIngenue: I'm glad you liked the R-stuff, I was really nervous about that. I didn't write it because I enjoyed it, but beacuse I wanted to show what an IDIOT Raoul is. But despite that, I like him. I'm the one who's made him dumb, you know? And I also want to thank you for the review on the last chapter. I guess I pretty much spoiled your view of Raoul as a gentleman now, didn't I? But this is the way it has to go, or else I wouldn't have a story.

POTOFan: Thanks for the reviee, but are you one of those who read this story because of the rating? That's not why I wrote it that way, to make people get off. But I'm happy all the same that you liked it lol

Ok, enough of that, on with the story!

Part XII

On Friday evening a week later, Raoul was impatiently pacing the floor of his study. He'd been doing that for the past week, and his servants, had they been in the house to see him, would have told him to stop before he wore the carpet out.

Since the night he'd left Meg sitting alone on the bed, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. She'd been haunting him day and night, the memory of what he'd done to her making it impossible for him to forget.

He hadn't seen her since that night. He hadn't even gone to the reopening of the Opera and the première of Carmen. He'd made his brother go instead as a representative of the family. Of course he'd asked why, but Raoul had just said that he wasn't feeling well. And that was true. He wasn't feeling well. He was feeling terrible. He'd made love to Meg, pretending she was Christine. That act didn't even deserve to be called "making love". He'd raped her. And even though Raoul knew he hadn't forced her, she hadn't been the one he'd thought about.

Raoul put all the blame for what'd happened on himself, he knew it was his fault. Mostly his fault. He couldn't help but think that Meg was partly responsible too. She'd provoked him with her accusations. But now, afterwards, Raoul couldn't stop himself from wondering. Had there been any truth in what she'd said? At the time, he'd only been hurt by her words, but now, when he'd acctually taken time to think about it, he wondered if she hadn't been right about some things. Maybe Madame Giry was totally innocent. Maybe he'd just searched for a nonexisting scapegoat. Maybe he himself was to blame for what had happened that night in The Phantom's lair. Very well, if that was the case, Raoul could live with it. Given time, he could.

But he could not accept some of Meg's other accusations. Christine would come back to him! If, no, when, he found her, she would realize she did loved him, not someone almost three times her age. It had been some momentarily insanity that had made her reject him, probably caused by the events of that evening. When she realised her mistake and came back to him, he would forgive her, and they would go on with their lives together.

A knock on the front door interrupted his thoughts, and he looked at the clock. It was nearly eleven, who would be knocking at this hour? A crazy thought appeared in his mind. It might be Meg. But he immediately pushed that thought away, picked up his gun from a drawer and went to open the door. Meg wouldn't come to his house in the middle of the night. Especially not now.

Raoul slowly opened the door, and looked outside. Whoever he'e expected to see, the woman standing on the stairs was the last person in the world.

"Good evening, Raoul," Christine said softly. Raoul just stared at her, his mouth ajar. "Are you going to let me in, or keep me standing out here in the cold all night?" she asked with a smile.

Raoul immediately came to his senses. He put the gun on a table, held the door open for her and let her inside. He took her cloak and hung it over a chair, careful not to touch her more than necessary. As he followed her into the livingroom, he under his breath cursed himself and his bad manners. The woman of his dreams, whom he'd been longing for for the past weeks had been standing outside his door, wanting to be let in, and all he'd done was stare at her like a complete fool.

Christine walked over to the fire and held out her hands towards it, and Raoul realized she must be terribly cold. God knows how long she'd had to walk before she got here.

"Can...can I get you anything?" Raoul asked, feeling a bit awkward. "I am afraid the maid has gone for the day, but I think she might have left some tea..." His voice faded away.

"No, thank you, I am fine," Christine answered. "I will not be staying long, I have just come here to talk to you, Raoul."

Raoul felt his hope fade at her words, but it did not die. She was here, wasn't she? That was always a good start.

Christine sat down in a chair in front of the fire, and motioned to Raoul to sit down opposite from her. Raoul did so, looking at the floor. He tried hard, but he could not make himself move his gaze to her face. He was afraid that if he let himself really look at her, she would disappear.

"You will not like what I am about to say, Raoul," Christine began. "But I beg you to listen just the same." She fell silent, as if searching for the right words. "I have been watching you, Raoul, even since that night," she continued. "Erik told me of all the passageways within the Opera, and I have been using them to check upon you."

Raoul looked at her with puzzled eyes. "Erik?" he asked, but then he realized she must be talking about The Phantom. He motioned to her to continue.

"Yes, Erik," Christine said, a softness Raoul had never seen before coming over her face before she compsed herself. "I have been watching you, Raoul, and I can't have helped but notice your sorrow. And when I have listened to your talks with Meg, I have realized that I am the cause of your distress." She looked at him, as if waiting for him to comment, but when he remained silent, she bent forward and took his hand, and continued. "I never knew my actions would affect you this mu-"

"I loved you, Christine," Raoul interrupted. "And you left me. Without even explaining why." He couldn't bare to be that close to her anymore, so he pulled his hand free from her grasp and went past her to stand by the window with his back towards her.

"I know you did." He heared her turn around to look at him. "And I loved you too. But not enough. And I hadn't realized that untill that moment. Down in Erik's home, I realized that my love for you was that of a sister towards a brother, and that what I felt for Erik was real love."

Raoul spun around. "I could have given you the world, Christine!" He walked over to her chair and knelt in front of her, taking her hands. "Did you not see that?"

Christine smiled sadly and stroked his cheek. "I did know that. But to me, the world would not have been enough without Erik."

Raoul felt realization dawn upon him. "So you really do love him then?" Christine nodded, that strange softness coming over her again, but before she could speak, Raoul rose once again and walked over to stand by the window. "But why him?" he asked. "Why a monster and a murderer from the fifth cellar of an opera?" He turned around, too sad for tears, but crying inside. "Why not me?" he whispered.

Christine rose and came to stand beside him. Raoul could not look into her eyes, but instead looked at his reflection in the window. But Christine cupped his cheek and made him look at her.

"That is an impossible question, Raoul. We do not choose who to love." Raoul opened his mouth to question her, but she shook her head. "And do not ask me who I would have chosen, had I been able to. I do not know that." Raoul closed his mouth. Those were wiser words than he'd ever heared Christine speak before. He looked out the window again, not knowing what to say.

Christinewent and sat down in her chair again and Raoul followed, simply because he thought she might have something more to say. He sat down in the chair opposite from her and put his head in his hands.

"I think this might be needless to say, Raoul, but I will not come back to you. Meg told you that, but I think you need to hear it from me."

Raoul's head flew up and he looked wide eyed at her. "You...heared that?" he whispered.

Christine nodded. "Yes, I did, but nothing more, I swear. I left right after that." She paused. "I take it that was...fortunate?"

Raoul nodded, his head back in his hands. "Yes, very fortunate." Once again he'd been reminded of what he'd done to Meg. Would he ever be able to forgive himself?

Christine had been silent for quite some time when she spoke again. "Raoul?" She hesitated. "What is the relationship between you and Meg?"

Raoul looked up, started by her question. "We...we are friends. Why?"

Christine smiled at him, a reasuring smile that Raoul couldn't quite understand. "No, you are not," she said. "At least not to Meg."

Raoul only raised his eyesbrows in a questioning gesture, too tired to speak.

Christine once again bent forward and took his hands. "She loves you, Raoul."

He knew he was staring at her with his mouth wide open, but he could do nothing else. But after a moment of awkward silence, he tried his voice again.

"But, no! No, she can't. At least not now."

Christine nodded. "Yes, especially now. I have heared her cry herself to sleep every night for the past week, and during that time, you have never once been to visit her." Her tone was accusing, and Raoul suddenly felt guilty. Maybe it'd been wrong of him to stay away. But Meg couldn't miss him, not after what he'd done to her.

He shook his head to Christine. "No, Christine, you are wrong. After what...happened a week ago, she can't possibly neither love me nor miss me."

Christine squeezed his hands. "But she does, Raoul. She both loves you and misses you. How can you know when you have not been there to see her?"

Raoul simply shook his head again. They were both equally sure their point of view was right, and they could probably be up discussing it all night. Instead he focused on another matter.

"Why are you so determined to push me and Meg into each other's arms?" he asked, his own wording sending unpleasant shivers down his spine.

Christine smiled softly. "Because you are both very dear to me, and I have seen how happy you have both been in each other's company. You are good for-" She was interrupted by a clock strinking half past eleven. She slowly rose from her chair, and Raoul did the same. "I have to go now, Raoul, Erik is waiting for me." Raoul nodded, and in silence they walked to the door. Christine put on her cloak, and then she turned around and looked at him. "Remember what I said, Raoul, for your own happiness. I am not telling you to love her, but...just see her for her, and not for me. I will no longer be a part of your life, so do not hold on to something that can't be." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then walked out the door.

Raoul stood in silence on the stairs and watched her leave. She crossed the street and ran into a dark corner. And when a carriage with a lantern passed, Raoul thought he saw something white flicker in the dark. If you ever hurt her, I'll kill you, he thought. And then he turned around and walked into his house again, not once looking back.

Author's notes: You all know what I'm about to say, but let me just add that I'm on the alertlist of seven people, and only one of you reviewed the last chapter. Why not the rest of you? All it takeS is a few clicks on the mouse and keyboard, and then you're done. Is that so hard? I'd really appreciate it, you know. Well, anyway,

REVIEW!