Oh my gosh!!! I have 200 reviewers!! Many thanks to everyone who reviewed!! ( I wont be able to answer your reviews personally this time since I do not have very much time with the Internet (grr!) and I am trying to get this chapter out as soon as I can because of the long wait last time.
Disclaimer- Don't own it! I'm broke! sob....... Wish I did but I don't.........
Chapter fourteen- Love and Occlumency
Halloween came and went quickly, sneaking up on them like a cat and soon, Damien found himself replacing his short-sleeved tee shirts with turtlenecks.
The Forbidden Forest was beautiful during the autumn, the leaves on the many types of trees no longer the rich green but instead the apple-red and golden color that compared greatly to the sunsets that would bathe the grounds of Hogwarts in a red-orange glow and students were once again getting settled into their classes.
Damien and Malfoy (who still insisted on following him like a lost puppy) arrived in the Great Hall in the now usual fashion, with Malfoy chattering continually and Damien ignoring him.
Damien glanced around uneasily at everyone, they seemed more excited for some reason, kids whispering excitedly to one another. "Wonder what's going on..." Damien murmured, meaning for the question to be rhetorical but as usual, Malfoy answered, "Your guess is as good as mine.....maybe they're finally sacking that oaf, Hagrid....he's a horrible teacher....be glad that you don't have him...."
Damien sighed as he fought down the dull anger, he was now pretty much used to Malfoy comments, he did his best to ignore them....
After having a quick meal, the two boys started to make their way to their first class when a feminine voice called out, "Hey Damien!" Malfoy glanced over at the youngest Weasley girl who was making her way toward them and murmured, "Incoming Weasel....watch it, you might get rabies..."
"Malfoy would you please keep to yourself for once!" Damien hissed at the blonde. He hadn't talked to Ginny in forever (not counting letters) and he didn't want the git to scare her away.
He smiled warmly to the red-head as she approached them. "Hey Gin, how've you been doing?" She returned the smile, "Fine 'Damien' but there's a Halloween Dance coming up!" Damien arched an eyebrow, "Really? We've never had one befor....." He immediately cut off as Ginny stepped on his foot, glancing at Malfoy cautiously.
Damn.
The blonde didn't seem to notice, either that or he thought that Damien had been talking about his old school.....
"Good, good you've given the morning report so shoo now! Go on!" Malfoy said dismissively, waving his hand as if Ginny were one of his house elves.
"Please excuse him, Gin....he doesn't have any manners...." Damien said, throwing Malfoy a glare.
The bell rang and Damien sadly bid Ginny good-bye as he and Malfoy made their way to their first class of the day, Potions.
As they made their way toward the dungeons Malfoy asked, "Why are you suddenly all chummy with the weasel girl?" Damien closed his eyes briefly before replying, "She just doesn't seem all that bad and she was one of the first people I met here...." He trailed off, thinking of Hermione and Ron.....he really missed them and hadn't spoken to them much since the train ride, well at least not to Ron, he and Hermione had paired up a couple times in Ancient Ruins and they had talked but Damien didn't share the bond with her that 'Harry' did. Correction......yes Ron had talked to him a couple of times, whenever Damien was seen with Ginny he always yelled at him....if that counted...
They entered the classroom to see that they were the last ones to arrive but luckily, Professor Snape hadn't arrived yet.
Damien took his usual seat in the back, across from Ron and Hermione. Malfoy sat beside him as usual and the door banged open loudly causing all of them (except Damien) to jump as Professor Snape entered.
He looked exhausted, and grouchy. Severus had been up most of the night trying to figure out a solution to their main problem, how to avoid getting Damien marked but still seem loyal to the Dark Lord....
They had talked about it a lot with the headmaster and had yet to come up with a plan.....damn, Damien was to be marked in a little more then a month.....
Damien shot a concerned look at his father as the man merely waved his wand at the board and mumbled, "Invisibility Potion. Instructions on the board. End of class. Turn in..." with that said he seated himself at his desk gratefully.
"Tired Severus?" Damien smirked at his father's slightly disheveled look as the rest of the class filed out. The man merely sneered as he sorted through the newly made potions. Severus picked up one of the corked vials and showed it to his son with a sigh,
"Honestly....how Longbottom can make a potion gray when its supposed to be pink I will never know....."
Damien huffed, scowling in a very Snape-like manner, "Well maybe if you didn't single him out so much then he'd be able to work without trembling, those not dropping to much of an ingredient into his potion..."
"Well I cant just stopped picking on him then I'd lose my stress reliever...besides I'm a 'Death Eater' remember?"
"Keeping up appearances for certain people doesn't include singling Neville out.....you only need to favor Slytherin and treat Gryffindors like scum......you don't treat other Gryffindors like you treat him....and like you used to treat me...."
Severus eyed his downcast expression, "Ahh, well you were a special case....you are to be here after dinner for your Occlumency lesson...."
"But why?" Damien asked. "I thought we only did them once a week now and I've already done it this week...." Severus nodded, "Yes Damien you are very good at it, its just....you need to practice as much as you can..."
Damien sighed but nodded, "Fine...I'll be here after dinner" he packed up his books into his bag. "I'll see you later Severus...."
Severus nodded to him as he walked out of the classroom, determined to talk to Ginny before lunch started and Malfoy started to track him again.....
"Would you like to go to the dance with me Gin?" Damien asked quickly, avoiding the blushing girl's eyes.
Ginny blushed even deeper and smiled at him, "Sure I'd love to Harr-Damien but wont it look kinda...weird?" Damien shrugged, "They can go boil their heads in snake venom for all I care..." Ginny blinked and giggled, "I think the Serpents are getting to you Damien...."
He merely smiled charmingly at her, "I'll take that as a complement..."
The couple headed into the Great Hall, "I'll see you later Damien." Ginny said, "...you'd better get to your table before Ron sees you..." he smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading to the Slytherin table where Malfoy was gawking at him.
"Seems your son has a thing for Miss Weasley, Severus.." Minerva said with a grin on her face as she watched a rather red but perky looking Ginny Weasley head over to the Gryffindor table, all smiles.
Severus' lips quirked a millimeter, "Yes he does seem to be quite the charmer for the ladies...." He watched in amusement as a small group of Ravenclaw girls giggled as Damien passed and a group of Hufflepuff girls glared daggers at Ginny as she passed.
He was glad that Damien had someone to talk to now....oh yes....Damien had told him about Ginny finding out about their secret and he got a little.....ticked off...
Indeed he ranted to Dumbledore for hours about his son's irresponsibility whenever he saw a cute girl and had probably yelled at Damien for maybe two hours which finally ended when Severus pounded his fist on the table, causing Damien to flinch violently and making him realize that he couldn't act this way in front of Damien after all the boy had been through....
"What is up between you two?!" Malfoy hissed as Damien sat down.
"Do you want to ruin the reputation you have here just because of the Weasel?!" Damien scowled at Malfoy, "Kindly refrain from insulting Gin like that...I still don't understand what you have against her, Ron, and Hemione as well as the other Gryffindors...."
"Damien, for one thing they are Potter's friends and he's our future master's enemy okay?" Malfoy spoke in a very slow and clear voice as if Damien were a child. Damien stood from the table and snapped, "I really don't appreciate being treated like a child, Malfoy....I got it enough from my mother and now I get it from my father and I don't need it from you!" With that he strode out of the Great Hall and headed to Ancient Ruins.
"Hey wait Damien!" Malfoy called running after him.
"Hey look I'm sorry okay? I just don't want the Dark Lord to torture you to insanity for going to the dance with one of Potter's friends.....which is a possibility..." Damien stared at the blonde. Malfoy had APOLOGIZED??!! Now he'd seen it all..... "I don't need you looking after me all the freaking time Malfoy! I can take care of myself AND I can bare the consequences myself! I know what's at stake and frankly I don't care!"
Malfoy stared open-mouthed at him as he hurried up the staircase to get away from the Malfoy. "You mean you don't care if he kills you?!" Damien shrugged, "We all have to die someday don't we Malfoy?" he grinned at the other boy.
"It isn't something to joke around about Damien!" the other snapped harshly. "If you do something that the Dark Lord doesn't like then he will make you pay! And your father wont help you if he does!"
Damien whirled around furiously, "Good! I don't need his help!"
He left Malfoy gawking at him in the hallway as he headed for Ancient Ruins in hopes of talking with Hermione. Actually, the truth was was that he did care if the Dark Lord killed him.......I mean who wouldn't?! But he wasn't about to let the blonde know......
He didn't really like Malfoy that much but he didn't want the boy to throw away his life like Severus did just because he wanted to impress his parents which was exactly the path that the blonde was leading himself too.
Damien sighed and murumured, "Things to do: Number one, try to convince Malfoy that he shouldn't join the Dark Lord.....this is going to take a while...."
Damien knocked on the door to his father's classroom. He heard a tired, "Enter" and walked in the room.
His father looked worse then before, his greasy hair was matted against his forehead with sweat as he added the last ingredient to the Pepper-up Potion he was making.
"Long day?" Damien asked teasingly as he walked in. The man merely sneered at him as he carefully ladled the potion into separate jars. "You know I could just come back another day...." Damien said, smirking at Severus. "Oh no, your not getting out of this that easily..."
"But Severus I need to practice for the quidditch trials tomorrow!" he whined in a child-like voice. "You do want Slytherin to win the House Cup don't you?" Severus sighed and wiped his hands on a rag.
"And here I thought you didn't want to go against Gryffindor?" he smiled at his son. Damien shrugged carelessly, "I really don't care now....as long as I can play quidditch...." Severus smirked at him and raised his want in one fluent motion and shouted.
"Legilimens!"
Damien barely had time to brace himself as the spell hit him...
He was four, trembling in terror as he was being yelled at by Vernon because he had burnt their breakfast.....
He was thirteen, in the shrieking shack with Sirius as he broke free of Ron and Hermione and yelled, "HE KILLED MY MUM AND DAD!!!!"
Damien struggled to take control of the spell, but try as he may, he couldn't make out Severus yet.....
He was fifteen in the Dursley's kitchen shortly after the dementer attack, staring at a howler that was addressed to Aunt Petunia, which promptly exploded, "REMEMBER MY LAST PETUNIA!!!!"
He was at the Department of Mysteries, hatred coursing through his veins like liquid fire as he yelled at Bellatrix Lestrange, "Crucio!"
"WHAT??!!!!"
Damien felt as if he had been shoved forcefully in the chest as he stumbled back and hit a shelf of ingredients. Severus was staring at him with unmistakable fury and........terror?!
"You performed the Cruciatus curse on Lestrange?!" he bellowed and Damien flinched. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You NEVER perform an Unforgivable Curse on another human being you hear me Damien! Its dangerous! What if someone had seen you! You'd be sentenced to Azkaban for the rest of your life! Do you want that Damien?! To be thrown in Azkaban after all we've done to protect you?! How can you be so selfless!?" After saying all that Severus took several deep breaths.
"Was that the only one you've cast?" he said faintly. Damien (who had by that point sunk to the ground trembling) nodded, terrified. The man had almost looked......crazed......
Severus groaned and paced back and forth with his hands on his face. "Oh merlin....what am I going to do?" he moaned faintly and Damien finally got up the courage to speak, "I-I'm sorry! I-I was just s-so mad.....she was saying hor-horrible things about Sirius!" "That's no excuse!" Severus snapped, whirling around and Damien trembled even more.
Severus softened slightly and took another calming breath, "I just....don't want to loose you Damien.....you don't realize what you've done.....you've performed an unforgivable...you've done something unforgivable....you are no longer pure...now you are forever like me....infected....with the notion that you have done something inexcusable...."
Damien stared at Severus and started to shiver, even thought he had his coat on......inexcusable....unforgivable...he had acted like the Death Eaters.....he had performed an unforgivable..... Damien put his head on his knees, which he had pulled up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself in dejection.
He felt a warm touch on his back and looked up to see his father squatting next to him, almost unsure of his actions, giving him a reassuring look, "Its going to be okay Damien....we'll get through this..."
"But I'm just like them now...and-and I'm going to be marked soon to and theres nothing we can do 'cause if I don't get marked then you'll get killed and if I do get marked then I'll be more like them and I'll have to torture and kill people and I'll turn evil like them......." He continued to babble inanely as his father sat beside him.
"It'll be alright" Severus told him gently. "It will all turn out alright in the end.....it always does...."
Damien hoped he was right...........
() Okay ummmm.....ya I am not to overly pleased with this chapter but I guess it'll have to do..... well I hope this makes up for the lateness of last chapter and I cant say much cause I gotta get to the library to get this thing posted before it closes!!
Review please!
BYE!!!!!!!!!J
Disclaimer- Don't own it! I'm broke! sob....... Wish I did but I don't.........
Chapter fourteen- Love and Occlumency
Halloween came and went quickly, sneaking up on them like a cat and soon, Damien found himself replacing his short-sleeved tee shirts with turtlenecks.
The Forbidden Forest was beautiful during the autumn, the leaves on the many types of trees no longer the rich green but instead the apple-red and golden color that compared greatly to the sunsets that would bathe the grounds of Hogwarts in a red-orange glow and students were once again getting settled into their classes.
Damien and Malfoy (who still insisted on following him like a lost puppy) arrived in the Great Hall in the now usual fashion, with Malfoy chattering continually and Damien ignoring him.
Damien glanced around uneasily at everyone, they seemed more excited for some reason, kids whispering excitedly to one another. "Wonder what's going on..." Damien murmured, meaning for the question to be rhetorical but as usual, Malfoy answered, "Your guess is as good as mine.....maybe they're finally sacking that oaf, Hagrid....he's a horrible teacher....be glad that you don't have him...."
Damien sighed as he fought down the dull anger, he was now pretty much used to Malfoy comments, he did his best to ignore them....
After having a quick meal, the two boys started to make their way to their first class when a feminine voice called out, "Hey Damien!" Malfoy glanced over at the youngest Weasley girl who was making her way toward them and murmured, "Incoming Weasel....watch it, you might get rabies..."
"Malfoy would you please keep to yourself for once!" Damien hissed at the blonde. He hadn't talked to Ginny in forever (not counting letters) and he didn't want the git to scare her away.
He smiled warmly to the red-head as she approached them. "Hey Gin, how've you been doing?" She returned the smile, "Fine 'Damien' but there's a Halloween Dance coming up!" Damien arched an eyebrow, "Really? We've never had one befor....." He immediately cut off as Ginny stepped on his foot, glancing at Malfoy cautiously.
Damn.
The blonde didn't seem to notice, either that or he thought that Damien had been talking about his old school.....
"Good, good you've given the morning report so shoo now! Go on!" Malfoy said dismissively, waving his hand as if Ginny were one of his house elves.
"Please excuse him, Gin....he doesn't have any manners...." Damien said, throwing Malfoy a glare.
The bell rang and Damien sadly bid Ginny good-bye as he and Malfoy made their way to their first class of the day, Potions.
As they made their way toward the dungeons Malfoy asked, "Why are you suddenly all chummy with the weasel girl?" Damien closed his eyes briefly before replying, "She just doesn't seem all that bad and she was one of the first people I met here...." He trailed off, thinking of Hermione and Ron.....he really missed them and hadn't spoken to them much since the train ride, well at least not to Ron, he and Hermione had paired up a couple times in Ancient Ruins and they had talked but Damien didn't share the bond with her that 'Harry' did. Correction......yes Ron had talked to him a couple of times, whenever Damien was seen with Ginny he always yelled at him....if that counted...
They entered the classroom to see that they were the last ones to arrive but luckily, Professor Snape hadn't arrived yet.
Damien took his usual seat in the back, across from Ron and Hermione. Malfoy sat beside him as usual and the door banged open loudly causing all of them (except Damien) to jump as Professor Snape entered.
He looked exhausted, and grouchy. Severus had been up most of the night trying to figure out a solution to their main problem, how to avoid getting Damien marked but still seem loyal to the Dark Lord....
They had talked about it a lot with the headmaster and had yet to come up with a plan.....damn, Damien was to be marked in a little more then a month.....
Damien shot a concerned look at his father as the man merely waved his wand at the board and mumbled, "Invisibility Potion. Instructions on the board. End of class. Turn in..." with that said he seated himself at his desk gratefully.
"Tired Severus?" Damien smirked at his father's slightly disheveled look as the rest of the class filed out. The man merely sneered as he sorted through the newly made potions. Severus picked up one of the corked vials and showed it to his son with a sigh,
"Honestly....how Longbottom can make a potion gray when its supposed to be pink I will never know....."
Damien huffed, scowling in a very Snape-like manner, "Well maybe if you didn't single him out so much then he'd be able to work without trembling, those not dropping to much of an ingredient into his potion..."
"Well I cant just stopped picking on him then I'd lose my stress reliever...besides I'm a 'Death Eater' remember?"
"Keeping up appearances for certain people doesn't include singling Neville out.....you only need to favor Slytherin and treat Gryffindors like scum......you don't treat other Gryffindors like you treat him....and like you used to treat me...."
Severus eyed his downcast expression, "Ahh, well you were a special case....you are to be here after dinner for your Occlumency lesson...."
"But why?" Damien asked. "I thought we only did them once a week now and I've already done it this week...." Severus nodded, "Yes Damien you are very good at it, its just....you need to practice as much as you can..."
Damien sighed but nodded, "Fine...I'll be here after dinner" he packed up his books into his bag. "I'll see you later Severus...."
Severus nodded to him as he walked out of the classroom, determined to talk to Ginny before lunch started and Malfoy started to track him again.....
"Would you like to go to the dance with me Gin?" Damien asked quickly, avoiding the blushing girl's eyes.
Ginny blushed even deeper and smiled at him, "Sure I'd love to Harr-Damien but wont it look kinda...weird?" Damien shrugged, "They can go boil their heads in snake venom for all I care..." Ginny blinked and giggled, "I think the Serpents are getting to you Damien...."
He merely smiled charmingly at her, "I'll take that as a complement..."
The couple headed into the Great Hall, "I'll see you later Damien." Ginny said, "...you'd better get to your table before Ron sees you..." he smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading to the Slytherin table where Malfoy was gawking at him.
"Seems your son has a thing for Miss Weasley, Severus.." Minerva said with a grin on her face as she watched a rather red but perky looking Ginny Weasley head over to the Gryffindor table, all smiles.
Severus' lips quirked a millimeter, "Yes he does seem to be quite the charmer for the ladies...." He watched in amusement as a small group of Ravenclaw girls giggled as Damien passed and a group of Hufflepuff girls glared daggers at Ginny as she passed.
He was glad that Damien had someone to talk to now....oh yes....Damien had told him about Ginny finding out about their secret and he got a little.....ticked off...
Indeed he ranted to Dumbledore for hours about his son's irresponsibility whenever he saw a cute girl and had probably yelled at Damien for maybe two hours which finally ended when Severus pounded his fist on the table, causing Damien to flinch violently and making him realize that he couldn't act this way in front of Damien after all the boy had been through....
"What is up between you two?!" Malfoy hissed as Damien sat down.
"Do you want to ruin the reputation you have here just because of the Weasel?!" Damien scowled at Malfoy, "Kindly refrain from insulting Gin like that...I still don't understand what you have against her, Ron, and Hemione as well as the other Gryffindors...."
"Damien, for one thing they are Potter's friends and he's our future master's enemy okay?" Malfoy spoke in a very slow and clear voice as if Damien were a child. Damien stood from the table and snapped, "I really don't appreciate being treated like a child, Malfoy....I got it enough from my mother and now I get it from my father and I don't need it from you!" With that he strode out of the Great Hall and headed to Ancient Ruins.
"Hey wait Damien!" Malfoy called running after him.
"Hey look I'm sorry okay? I just don't want the Dark Lord to torture you to insanity for going to the dance with one of Potter's friends.....which is a possibility..." Damien stared at the blonde. Malfoy had APOLOGIZED??!! Now he'd seen it all..... "I don't need you looking after me all the freaking time Malfoy! I can take care of myself AND I can bare the consequences myself! I know what's at stake and frankly I don't care!"
Malfoy stared open-mouthed at him as he hurried up the staircase to get away from the Malfoy. "You mean you don't care if he kills you?!" Damien shrugged, "We all have to die someday don't we Malfoy?" he grinned at the other boy.
"It isn't something to joke around about Damien!" the other snapped harshly. "If you do something that the Dark Lord doesn't like then he will make you pay! And your father wont help you if he does!"
Damien whirled around furiously, "Good! I don't need his help!"
He left Malfoy gawking at him in the hallway as he headed for Ancient Ruins in hopes of talking with Hermione. Actually, the truth was was that he did care if the Dark Lord killed him.......I mean who wouldn't?! But he wasn't about to let the blonde know......
He didn't really like Malfoy that much but he didn't want the boy to throw away his life like Severus did just because he wanted to impress his parents which was exactly the path that the blonde was leading himself too.
Damien sighed and murumured, "Things to do: Number one, try to convince Malfoy that he shouldn't join the Dark Lord.....this is going to take a while...."
Damien knocked on the door to his father's classroom. He heard a tired, "Enter" and walked in the room.
His father looked worse then before, his greasy hair was matted against his forehead with sweat as he added the last ingredient to the Pepper-up Potion he was making.
"Long day?" Damien asked teasingly as he walked in. The man merely sneered at him as he carefully ladled the potion into separate jars. "You know I could just come back another day...." Damien said, smirking at Severus. "Oh no, your not getting out of this that easily..."
"But Severus I need to practice for the quidditch trials tomorrow!" he whined in a child-like voice. "You do want Slytherin to win the House Cup don't you?" Severus sighed and wiped his hands on a rag.
"And here I thought you didn't want to go against Gryffindor?" he smiled at his son. Damien shrugged carelessly, "I really don't care now....as long as I can play quidditch...." Severus smirked at him and raised his want in one fluent motion and shouted.
"Legilimens!"
Damien barely had time to brace himself as the spell hit him...
He was four, trembling in terror as he was being yelled at by Vernon because he had burnt their breakfast.....
He was thirteen, in the shrieking shack with Sirius as he broke free of Ron and Hermione and yelled, "HE KILLED MY MUM AND DAD!!!!"
Damien struggled to take control of the spell, but try as he may, he couldn't make out Severus yet.....
He was fifteen in the Dursley's kitchen shortly after the dementer attack, staring at a howler that was addressed to Aunt Petunia, which promptly exploded, "REMEMBER MY LAST PETUNIA!!!!"
He was at the Department of Mysteries, hatred coursing through his veins like liquid fire as he yelled at Bellatrix Lestrange, "Crucio!"
"WHAT??!!!!"
Damien felt as if he had been shoved forcefully in the chest as he stumbled back and hit a shelf of ingredients. Severus was staring at him with unmistakable fury and........terror?!
"You performed the Cruciatus curse on Lestrange?!" he bellowed and Damien flinched. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You NEVER perform an Unforgivable Curse on another human being you hear me Damien! Its dangerous! What if someone had seen you! You'd be sentenced to Azkaban for the rest of your life! Do you want that Damien?! To be thrown in Azkaban after all we've done to protect you?! How can you be so selfless!?" After saying all that Severus took several deep breaths.
"Was that the only one you've cast?" he said faintly. Damien (who had by that point sunk to the ground trembling) nodded, terrified. The man had almost looked......crazed......
Severus groaned and paced back and forth with his hands on his face. "Oh merlin....what am I going to do?" he moaned faintly and Damien finally got up the courage to speak, "I-I'm sorry! I-I was just s-so mad.....she was saying hor-horrible things about Sirius!" "That's no excuse!" Severus snapped, whirling around and Damien trembled even more.
Severus softened slightly and took another calming breath, "I just....don't want to loose you Damien.....you don't realize what you've done.....you've performed an unforgivable...you've done something unforgivable....you are no longer pure...now you are forever like me....infected....with the notion that you have done something inexcusable...."
Damien stared at Severus and started to shiver, even thought he had his coat on......inexcusable....unforgivable...he had acted like the Death Eaters.....he had performed an unforgivable..... Damien put his head on his knees, which he had pulled up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself in dejection.
He felt a warm touch on his back and looked up to see his father squatting next to him, almost unsure of his actions, giving him a reassuring look, "Its going to be okay Damien....we'll get through this..."
"But I'm just like them now...and-and I'm going to be marked soon to and theres nothing we can do 'cause if I don't get marked then you'll get killed and if I do get marked then I'll be more like them and I'll have to torture and kill people and I'll turn evil like them......." He continued to babble inanely as his father sat beside him.
"It'll be alright" Severus told him gently. "It will all turn out alright in the end.....it always does...."
Damien hoped he was right...........
() Okay ummmm.....ya I am not to overly pleased with this chapter but I guess it'll have to do..... well I hope this makes up for the lateness of last chapter and I cant say much cause I gotta get to the library to get this thing posted before it closes!!
Review please!
BYE!!!!!!!!!J