Holiday
by uchihachik
Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto.Keyword don't; D-O-N-'-T.
Easter for Kakashi
We all know Hatake Kakashi. We all know how...uhh...interesting his books are. We all know how much he loves those damn books. To him, nothing comes before his pervy book. Kakashi's law; Come Come Paradise God.
Now that we've gone over the main character's personality, let's go over other less-important characters' personalities.
The next most important character would be Uchiha Sasuke...Well...I can't really tell anything about his personality because he has no personality to begin with.
Next comes Haruno Sakura. As we all know, she's got a crazy crush on Sasuke. But he hates her.
And last (and least) is Uzumaki Naruto. If you don't know his personality, why are you reading this? You either have no idea what Naruto is, or worse, you have no idea what manga is. Oh what a creul, creul life you live...
Anyways,
Kakashi was excited today. He was overjoyed. It was the happiest day of his life...Well..So far, at least. Today...The next Volume of Come Come Paradise came into the bookstore! YAY! He had waited so long..Ever since he found out! He had been waiting for a whole 3 HOURS! A long time, no? Oh, the agonizing pain Kakashi had endured during that long, long time. A whole 180 MINUTES!
Then suddenly, all his happiness was disrupted. Out of the crowd, came the she-devil herself, his mother, Hatake Edith, more commonly known as 'The Dragon' for her brute, violent, crude, bossy, and firey personality.
"Kakashi-boo!"(A/N: Insert a B on the end of his pet-name, then read it, then laugh.)She exclaimed and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug."I haven't seen you in sooo long!I missed you sooo much!"
"I...missed...you...too...mom..." he choked out.
"Ohhh!My wittle baby!"she spoke in a babyish voice and burst into tears."You've grown sooo much!"
"Mom...Let go.."Kakashi pushed her off him.
"Why?"
"Why are you here?"
"I came to visit my little Kaka-baby!"
"Couldn't you have waited a couple more years? Then you could miss me more. Could you at least wait three more years?"
"But, It's Easter, Kaka!"
"Knock off the pet-names, mom."
"Ohh...But they're cute!"
"Yea...right."
"So...I demand that you come to the family Easter party."
"But...We're the only members left of the family..."
"Then...Invite your friends!"
"I...don't have any friends, mom. Shinobi don't have friends. They have comrades and teamates."
"Nonsense! You're such a cute boy! I'd have thought you would have lots of female friends!"
"...I could bring my students..."
"Great! I'd love to meet the children you're teaching! how many are there? You're a teacher so you should have around 30, right?"
"Mom, I'm a cell sensei."
"How many children are in your cell?"
"Uhh...3."
"Oh..."
"I could invite other jounin..."
"Jounin?"
"Elite Ninja."
"..."
"Teachers."
"Ohhhhhh..."
"I could invite Asuma, Kurenai...and maybe Gai."
"Is that still all? 6?"
"And Iruka."
"7?"
"Yes mom, 7. Plus me and you."
"9..."
"Yes. When is it, mom? Next week?"
"Today's Easter, Kaka! The party's today!"
"But, how do I invite people?"
"Come on, we have to find them now!"
"You can go find them, mom."
"But I don't know them. You have to come to introduce me!"
He was being torn from his books!NOOOO!"Uhh..."he searched for an excuse."Ok...But can we NOT invite the senseis? It's been a while since I've really hung out with my team...So..yeah."
"Whatever you want, Kaka!"
What he really wanted was to get rid of his mom so he could buy his book! But Nooooo! His mom had to intrude on what WOULD have become the happiest day of his life! Damn her...
She dragged him off to find his team.First, they headed to the ramen bar because Kakashi knew Naruto would be there. When they walked near it, they did see the farmiliar orange clothes and spiky blonde hair. "Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto greeted him.
"Hello Naruto..."Kakashi said darkly.
"OHHH!What a cute little boy!" The Dragon exclaimed and pinched Naruto's cheeks and stretched his face in all sorts of deformed ways. "Is this your son Kaka?"
What a disturbing thought..."Uhh...No..Mom, no.This is Naruto, a member of my team."
"Naru-kun!"
Man, his mom always thought up the most annoying pet-names. "Yea...Whatever. Naruto, this is my mom."
...It sounded like Naruto said hi, but you couldn't hear him over the compression of his face and the high pitched spueals from The Dragon.
"Uhh...Mom, would you let him go. He needs to breathe."
"Sure, Kaka."she realeased.
Naruto. "Hi."
Kakashi. "Soo...Coming to training tomorrow?"
Naruto. "Yeah."
Kakashi. "Don't be late."
Naruto. "Look who's talkin'."
Dragon. "Naruto, I think you should come to the Hatake Easter party."
Naruto. "Uhh...Ok."
The Dragon grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him away, followed by Kakashi.
They found Sakura outside Sasuke's house. Sasuke, of course, was not inside. After all, that would have made their search easy. Oh the horrors! We wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?
Sakura was looking in through Sasuke's front window, calling his name and asking for him to answer the door.She continued to knock on the door as the three walked up behind her. She didn't notice them. Kakashi tapped her on the shoulder and she whirlled around. "Ohh...Hi Kakashi-sensei." she said. "Have you seen Sasuke today?"
"No, but--"
Dragon."What's your name?"
Sakura."Who's this?"
Kakashi."My mom."
Sakura."Oh. Hello Mrs.Hatake."
Dragon. "Are you Kaka's girlfriend?"
Kakashi. "Uhh...No, mom. This is Sakura, the female member of my team."
Dragon. "Oh. Sakura, have you ever thought of dating my little Kaka? You seem like a nice enough girl..."
Sakura."..." O.O
Kakashi."Mom! She's 12 years old!"
Dragon."Are you sure you don't have a soft spot for her, and you for him?"
Kakashi/Sakura."I'm sure I don't."
Dragon."And I was expecting grandchildren soon..."
Kakashi."Well don't be expecting it. It won't happen 'till I'm at least 30."
Sakura."It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Hatake, but I have to go look for someone."
Dragon."No you're not. You're coming with us to find your other teamate."
Sakura."That's who I was trying to find. This is his house."
Dragon."And he's not here?"
Sakura."He's not here because he hides from me..."
Kakashi."Yes...Sakura, Mom, let's go find him."
Dragon."OK!"
They found Sasuke at the BBQ buffet again...with Kady.
He was sitting beside her, she was flirting, Ino was inconspicuously hovering around their table, glaring at Kady every few seconds. How DARE she try and steal 'her' Sasuke from her. She was so pissed off at this girl, she just wanted to scream at the f bi-atch and stab a f kunai right through her f heart and jab her f eyes out with 780 f million f shurikens and f make her f wish she'd never been f born.
You're pushing my rating boundries, Ino. You're worse than Naruto's swearing last chapter...You f said 'f' 9 times in that f paragraph. Plus 3 more f times that I just said it. F, I swear a f lot. 15 f..16 f times...(17).
Now, we leave Ino and me to our abusive swearing and look in the direction of the door as Kakashi, The Dragon, Naruto, and Sakura walk in the room in search of Sasuke.
They sit down with Sasuke and Kady. Sakura had some colourful language going through her head, too, if you wanna know the truth.Anyways,
Kady."Hi."
Sasuke."..."
Naruto."Hi."
Kakashi."..."
Sakura."Hi."
Dragon."Hello."Then, The Dragon starts staring intently at Sasuke."What's your name?"
No comment.
Kakashi."Uhh...Sasuke, this is my mom. And Mom, this is Sasuke, another student."
Dragon."Nice to meet you. Now, why do wear such boyish clothes?"
Sasuke."..."
Dragon."You really shouldn't be embarassed. You've got a lot going for you."
Sasuke."..."
Dragon."And who are you?"she asks Kady.
Kady."I'm Kady."
Dragon."You look like a nice boy. You should go out with Sasuke."
Kady."Boy?"
Sasuke."..."
Dragon."Sasuke, I'm going to make you some nice, more girlish clothes. What colours do you like? Pink would look cute on you, right?"
Sasuke."Pink?"
Dragon."Let me take your measurements." she said as he pulled out measuring tape and measured Sasuke in a whole bunch of different ways. She measured his height, the circumfrence of his waist, the circumfrence of his chest, and then used her super-mom powers and speed to make him a very revealing pink thigh-length dress. "Isn't it pretty?"
Sasuke blinked. "I'm a bo--" but before he could finish his sentence, Kakashi's mom had him stripped down (Sakura wished she had a camera.) and he was standing there, clad only with a pair of navy-blue boxers, in the middle of a resturant.(In the background, you hear Sakura and Ino gasp in happiness.)
"Kakashi, your mom's gender-confused."Kady said as she walked over to The Dragon and snatched Sasuke's clothes out of her hands. Kady threw them to Sasuke and he quickly caught them and and proceeded to pull his shirt on, everyone in the resturant was watching him. Except Sakura and Ino who had fainted. Crazy love-struck psycos. They'll never win Sasuke...Only I can...Mwa ha ha...
Cough...Anyways,
Kady and Sasuke proceeded with their date, Kakashi's gender-confused mom, love-struck Sakura, embarassed Kakashi, and confused Naruto sat down with them at the table. Sakura never took her eyes off Sasuke the whole time. Sasuke and Kady were in close proximity and she didn't like it. Sakura kept having scary nightmare-like visions of a day like this. Sasuke and a girl get in close proximity...Man, the game would be a failure for Sakura if that happened, but it was happening. Right there. Right down the table from her. Sasuke was opening up to a human of the opposite sex and it wasn't her. Dammit! 'I've got my eye on you Kady...' she thought. Wait! Was it just her or did Kady just move closer to Sasuke. The bitch! Now, we won't get into Ino's colourful language, so let's just exit Sakura's mind. Not yet though... She was moving closer to Sasuke! She was snuggled in beside him, leaning on his shoulder. Sakura looked into Sasuke's eyes. Wait, did his dark eyes just flash with what seemed like ...contentment? But...how? Uhh...why? No! Sasuke was happy with this girl! Whyyyyyyy!
Anyways, I'm sure Kady's having the time of her life, and Sakura's in hell, but that's not the point of this story. This is supposed to have mild romance. Although, when Sakura get's her chapter, it'll be more than mild. And the romance won't be her and Sasuke. It'll be Kady and Sasuke. And I'm going to stop underlining things now.
Let's move on, shall we?
Kakashi."Well, ummm Sasuke...Do you wanna come to the Hatake family Easter party?"
Sasuke."No."
Kady."Awww...Come on, Sasuke-hottie. I'll come with you. It'll be fun."
Sasuke."...Fine."
Oh, and there goes Sakura's colourful language again. how DARE she call HER Sasuke 'Sasuke-hottie' ! True, that name WAS pretty creative, but Sakura should be the only one saying that!
Dragon."All right! Let's go then! I have to get cooking! It's a little house party at Kaka's house!"
So they walked off down the street. Kakashi was in front, his mom was beside him, toying with his hair. "Do you use enough gel?" his mom had once asked. Of course, his mom had been somewhat outraged that she had been sending him bottles of hairgel on every gift-giving holiday for seven years, then found out that he doesn't use it. He sells them to a hair salon to make a few bucks. Naruto was walking behind them, whining that he was hungry for ramen. Next was Sakura, who continued to glance back every ten seconds. That must be murder on her neck. And, last was the lovebirds themselves, Sasuke and Kady. They were, yes, that's right, holding hands. Sakura even thought she caught them locking lips. Oh, what a nightmare that would have been...
Anyways,
They arived at Kakashi's apartment and his mom threw the door open. Everyone was scarred for life because Kakashi had not bothered to pick up his hentai mags. Kakashi paid no attention to it and just walked around them. Thank god, nobody else paid attention to them. Except his mom looked kind of embarassed and kicked them under the bed, the table and picked them up and throwing them in drawers and hiding them in other ways. Now, moms can clean pretty fast so, she was done by the time the last couple had walked in. Not a sign of porn was in the house after she was done. "Wow. Your apartment's clean Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke commented.
If only he knew...
Immediately, Kakashi's mom took off to the kitchen. Meanwhile, the rest of them just stood around pointlessly. Sasuke and Kady sat down on Kakashi's couch and everyone else followed. Of course, Sakura was outraged about Sasuke and Kady's closeness and she got all competetive and saucy. Naruto went to the kitchen to whine about ramen. Kakashi sat down on his couch and sighed, bored out of his mind. He could have been curled up on his couch, reading Come Come Paradise right now. Wait! Today was the day! He HAD to buy Come Come Paradise today! "MOM!" he called. "I'm going out! I'll be back in a second!" and he ran out the door as fast as he could. He dashed down to Jiraiya(my latest crush)'s bookstore. He stopped in front of the door and pushed it. It didn't open. He looked up. 'Off For Easter' the sign said. 'Crap.' Kakashi thought, and dashed to the big Konoha bookstore. Closed. 'Fred's Hentai Imporium'. Closed. 'Hentai Mags'. Closed. Where else was there? There was only one other bookstore in town. Kakashi dreaded it. It was...'Ebisu's Hentai'.It was the crappiest hentai store ever! But, it was the only one left. He dashed to it, and found that it was 3 minutes from closing. He sighed and opened the door. He quietly walked over to the Come Come Paradise shelf. There was one left. As he looked around, he saw another ninja eyeing it. The ninja was mysterious, he wore a long, black cloak with red patterns on it. He also had sharingans. Kakashi knew who it was. It was Uchiha Itachi, Kakashi should have automatically attacked him, had he not been so busy, but what the hell. He was just an S-Ranked criminal, after all. What Kakashi wondered was why Itachi was in a hentai store...Eh, they must have similar interests. Kakashi knew what he had to do. He used a jutsu and teleported over to the shelf, grabbed the hentai book, and threw a twenty on the shelf and teleported out of the store. Itachi picked up the twenty and picked up another copy of the book that was on the clearance shelf. 'He must have thought that was the last one. Eh, I guess it's better this way. I didn't feel like killing anyone today anyways.' the hot missin-nin thought as he picked up another hentai mag and paid for them. He walked out of the store while flipping through his magazine, sipping an ice-cap. 'Where's Kisame?' he thought as he stepped out into the damp spring air. He stretched. His back cracked with slight relief. 'Ahh...It's Easter. I think I'll stop by the old house. Have a talk with my foolish little brother...'
Back with Kakashi...
The gray-haired jounin darted through Konoha streets.He had to get back to his house before his mom got suspicious. As he walked in, eyes turned to him as he began to read. Sakura sighed with exasperation as she saw her sensei reading his usual book. Kady and Sasuke nodded at his presense, they were just sooo enlasped in adoration for each other. Man, love is weird. Although I shouldn't really refer to this as love. This is more of... a close, really close, friendship. This was simply buisiness gone astray. "I lose." Sasuke muttered quietly.
Kady."What's that, love?"
Sasuke."You won the bet."
Kady."Yes. Good point."
Sasuke."..."
Kady."Take me out tomorrow and I'll call it even."
Sasuke."2:00?"
Kady."Sure."
And that's how Kady and Sasuke usually organized dates. Sasuke lost a bet and then owed Kady a date. That's how their first date ocurred. That bet was on sports, though. This one was on something else...
Anyway...
Kady and Sasuke continued their conversation, Sakura continued fuming, Naruto walked out of the kitchen happily with a steaming hot bowl of ramen, Kakashi had his hentai mag, so all was happy.
But the story doesn't end here...!
"Come eat!" Kakashi's mom called from the kitchen. Everyone headed in, Kady and Sasuke sat next to each other (As usual.), Kakashi sat on Kady's other side, next to Kakashi was his mom, then Naruto, then Sakura. So, Kady was next to Sasuke, Kakashi was next to Kady, Kakashi's mom was next to Kakashi , Naruto was next to Kakashi's mom, Sakura was next to Naruto and Sasuke was next to Sakura. Are you catchin' all this math and science and whatnot I'm throwin' at ya? Good...
Anyways, they sat down and Kakashi's mom came in the kitchen carrying three large bowls. She set them down. One had ramen. Naruto cheered. The next had...ramen. Naruto cheered. And the third had...ice cream. Hah! I got you! You thought I was gonna say ramen! But No! I said ice cream! Hahahahaha!cough...
..A-hem...Moving on...
Naruto automatically attacked but before he could eat it, he got smacked on the back of the head by Kakashi's mom." We have to say grace." she insisted.
"Ok." Naruto said. "Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub."
And everyone else said; "Yay God!"
The Dragon didn't argue, but had an annoyed expression on her face.
Then Naruto began the first bowl of ramen and after 10 minutes of slurping, it was empty. During that time, everyone else had served themelves ramen and were content. Naruto polished off the last of the second bowl and everyone else finished and started to eat the ice cream. Not a word was said throughout. I'm not good a writing meal scenes, I'm good at writing humour, so let's get back to that, shall we?
The party was over. Everyone was leaving. Kakashi was relieved. Sasuke and Kady were making out. Sakura was fuming. Naruto was asleep. The Dragon had gone home. Ahhhhh...Everything was peaceful. Naruto suddenly woke up, screaming about somebody stealing his ramen. When he was fully awake he said. "Well, I'm going home now--"he couldn't finish because he yawned. "I'm tired."
"I'm gonna head too." Kady said and Sasuke nodded in agreement. Sasuke nodded, so, therefore, Sakura nodded.
"Ok. Bye." Kakashi said and shut the door behind them as they left. Everyone's gone. Everything's quiet. Kakashi's happy. He heaved a sigh and walked back to his room.
"What a tiring day." he said contently as he curled up on his couch to read Come Come Paradise. He paid no attention to the yell from across town.
THE END
Ahh...I'm done. If anyone doesn't get the part about the yell, it's Sasuke. Remember how Itachi said he was gonna visit Sasuke? When Sasuke and Kady got to his house, Itachi was inside on the couch, reading his hentai mag. Sasuke yelled. Get it? Ahh...you probably don't...Anyways. The next chapter is called 'Sakura's Valentine's Day.'
bye,
uchihachik