Author: MakeItLastForever

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.

Spoilers: Up to Season 2 "Surprise"/ "Innocence".

Pairings: Buffy/Angel (major), Willow/Tara (mentioned)

Rating: T / PG-13

Set: 14 years after S2: "Innocence".

Summary: 14 years ago, Angel left Sunnydale after Buffy's seventeenth birthday with pieces of the Judge, intent on separating them. Now he's back, only to find she's moved on. Dealing with accusations from her former friends, he goes on to try to reintegrate himself back into her life. Can he?

AN: Angel didn't lose his soul when he slept with Buffy.

Who Knows What The Future Holds?

Prologue

"Everyone wants a happy ending. Newsflash – no one ever gets it. I mean, who dies happy? Truly happy? Perfect happiness is extremely rare. Few people actually experience it. You're one of them, by the way. You're lucky we didn't put that little perfect happiness clause in your curse, 'cause that night on the Slayer's seventeenth birthday …well, let's just say I wouldn't be standing here talking to you.

But if you trust your heart, if you believe in yourself, if you save the world, then maybe. Hey, no promises, but … maybe. Just maybe … you'll get your happy ending. One day."

Chapter 1

Sunnydale, Night

A man stepped off the bus onto the pavement before him. He was stereotypical-looking: tall, dark and handsome with pale skin, dressed all in black. But he was not a stereotypical guy. After watching the bus drive off and head down the road towards the horizon where the rising sun was starting to appear, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, his awkward footsteps being the only sound in the silent night.

Angel knew he had to get inside quickly. The dawn was approaching and he didn't want to waste the last few years of hell he had gone through by being crispy-fried, especially when he was so close to seeing Buffy again. He knew he couldn't go to Buffy's house straight away – there would be no certainty that she would let him in after disappearing for over 14 years. He sighed and quickened his footsteps as he remembered vividly the last time he'd seen her, only minutes before he'd left Sunnydale for good. He remembered the shouts, the cries, the arguments. He remembered the tears, the kisses and the declarations of love as he told her he had to leave. He remembered his own declarations of love, his promises that he would be back as soon as he could.

He wondered how much she'd change. Not just through looks, but through her personality. Would she still be the same Buffy: quick-witted, forthcoming, laughing around with her friends? Doubtful. Time changed people. Angel had seen it happen. Had seen it happen to himself.

No, he would have to find someplace else to go. For now.

There was a resounding knock at the door, which woke Willow and Tara up with a start. Grumpily climbing out of bed, Willow walked through their apartment to the front door. "They'd better have an incredibly good reason as to why they're battering down my door at 5:00am," She muttered to herself, trudging through the kitchen.

Opening the door, the last person she expected to see was an injured and thoroughly tired Angel standing on the other side. Cuts and grazes marred his skin – the occasional deeper, more serious cut standing out more prominently, around his neck and forehead. He looked tired … very tired. As if he hadn't slept in ages. His skin appeared even whiter than before, if possible. He attempted a weak smile at her, while leaning against the door post, and mouthing "hey" at her.

"Uh oh."

Tara wandered in from the bedroom to see who was at the door. She frowned as she didn't recognise the tall man standing before Willow, and was confused at Willow's shock at seeing him. She came up close behind Willow, and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Can I come in? Or ..or do you want me to go? It's just that dawn is…" Angel trailed off, looking at her in quiet desperation.

"Right. Yes. Of course. I-I invite you inside of my house." Willow suddenly said. She stepped back to let him limp in, as the rays of dawn approached the front door. He leaned against the wall, not sure if he was in a position to sit down in her home like an old friend. Which he wasn't really. An uncomfortable silence settled on the room, as nobody knew what to say.

To his immense surprise, Willow darted forward and gave Angel a tight hug. He patted her back awkwardly, and she let go of him just as quickly as she had hugged him. Stepping back a bit, she brought her hand whacking across his face. He reeled back in shock, holding his cheek, more surprised at the slap and how hard she could hit. "Ow! What was that for?" he asked, annoyed.

"Where the hell have you been, Angel?" glared Willow.

Tara grimaced as she heard who it was. 'Angel': she'd heard a lot about him from Willow.

"That," he said, "is a very long and complicated story, Willow…"

"Well, we've got all day. I'm listening." Willow said, looking at him expectantly and crossing her arms.

"Uh, sweetie, you've got work in two hours," reminded Tara, timidly.

"We've got two hours. I'm listening." said Willow, still staring at Angel.

"Where's Buffy?"

"Don't change the subject."

"But she is the subject."

"So if she is the subject, then why you turning up now to see her? Fourteen years later?"

Angel looked down to the ground, feeling guilty. "Look, stuff got in the way, and I couldn't possibly…"

"Please. Tell me, Angel. What was so important that it made you leave the one you loved for over a decade?" Willow said, angrily.

Angel didn't answer.

"Did you ever really love her?"

"Of course, I did." Angel said at once. "And I still do. So, so much – you don't even know."

Willow could see immediately that he was being sincere.

"I do know." Willow said sighing and sitting down on the sofa. "Sit down, Angel. You look awful."

Angel walked slowly and across to the sofa and sank down into the cushions, groaning. Tara, knowing that she could be of no real help and wouldn't know half the stuff they were talking about, headed back to the bedroom, in order to leave them alone. Angel watched her as she left.

"That's Tara." said Willow, as if reading Angel's mind. "She's my girlfriend. We live together. Obviously."

"That's nice." He mumbled, not really knowing what to say. "What happened to … Oz?"

"Wolfie issues. Couldn't control it. Had to go."

"Huh?" said Angel, confused.

"Doesn't matter." Willow sighed, not wanting to get into Oz-problems. It was many years ago, and she was completely over him. "So …Where did you go?" She asked, her voice telling him that she was still cross.

"All over the place. Europe, mostly. Parts of Asia, … India."

"Wow. Far, then. Round the world, even." Willow leant back into the sofa. She looked at him, sharply, "And the … the Judge is ….?"

"Destroyed. Permanently. Through really powerful magics."

"And all that took, what? Fourteen years?" said Willow, incredulously.

Angel looked up at her. "No. Like I said, other stuff got in the way."

"Like?"

He sighed. "It's not important."

"On the contrary, I think it's probably very important. More important than Buffy anyway."

"It wasn't something you could compare to her on how important it was."

"What happened, then?"

"Fine. When I landed on the shores of Europe, old enemies came after me. Wanting to amend for Angelus' crimes. My crimes." He shrugged. "You know, it's why I came to America in the first place; to escape everyone who was after me. It's complicated – there's a lot of stuff. It just all built up, and time passed and… I don't know. I guess I don't have an excuse."

Willow just looked at him.

Sunnydale, Early Morning

Willow and Angel had been talking solidly for the last hour. He felt glad to talk to someone about everything that had happened to him, to see the face of someone who didn't want to curse him into the eternal flames of hell. Not immediately, anyway. But he couldn't fail to notice that Willow had been steering clear of talking about Buffy.

"Willow, how's Buffy?" he asked, suddenly.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I just … I-I want to see her." stumbled Angel, thinking it was obvious why he wanted to know how Buffy was.

"What makes you think she wants to see you?" Willow said, keeping her face neutral.

Angel stood up and walked a little way away from the sofa, fiddling. "Well, I guess she … probably doesn't. But, honestly, I'm past caring at this point." He turned round to look at her. "I need to see her, Willow. Just thinking about seeing her again is what's made keep going all these years. I love her." He started pacing. "She's everything to me, and I just need to see that she's ok. And if she tells me to go away, then I will. I'll never bother her again. But if she doesn't …"

"…Then you're hoping that you can maybe find someway back into her life." Willow said, simply.

He studied her face. "Is it so wrong? Am I being stupid to even think that?"

"No, I guess not." She shifted, uncomfortably. "You're just in love. And you can't help but hope that she feels the same way."

"So … do you think that … maybe…?"

"God, Angel, she's not here." Willow said, unable to steer clear of Buffy anymore.

Angel looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, I know, you said that you and Tara live here, not …"

"No, Angel. She's not here. She's not in Sunnydale, anymore. Hell, not in California anymore."

Silence.

"Willow, what do–"

"She left, Angel. Summer of '98. Not long after you did."

He stared at her in shock, his hopes being ripped away from him one by one, being replaced with dread and fear. "Where…where did she …"

"New York."

"W-what? I…I don-… Why?"

"Why'd you think?" said Willow, harshly.

Angel was taken back at Willow's harsh words. She saw him recoil, and immediately regretted it.

"Sorry." She whispered.

He sat down next to her, looking down to the ground. "No, it's-it's o…"

"Not okay, Angel. None of this is okay. She was hurt. Broken. Still hopelessly in love. And then again, there were other factors… problems."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me."

"It's just… I figured she'd be here. And I knew she would be cross… hurt … angry … I just thought that she would be here. And I would deal with it." He could feel his voice breaking. "But now…"

Willow watched him. "Cross, hurt, angry – doesn't even begin to cover it."

He frowned, thinking. "I'm going to find her."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to find her." He said, standing up, determinedly. "If I want to see her, then I'm just gonna have to …I'm going to find her."

"I'm not sure that's…" Willow said, standing up.

"Where is she, Willow?"

"Angel, I-I –"

"Where. Is. She?" Angel asked, quietly, impatience evident in his voice.

"Well, New York, but-"

"Where in New York? I need details, Willow. Area, street name, apartment number."

Willow paused, knowing that Buffy would kill her. She sighed. "Brooklyn. 101 West End Avenue."

Angel headed for the front door, with Willow walking close behind him.

"Angel, sto-"

"You can't change my mind. I'm going to find her." He said, putting his hand on the doorknob.

"No, it's not that, it's just … SUNLIGHT."

He let go of the door handle quickly. "Shit!"

"You can't really find Buffy if you're the Vampire Torch." Willow said, pulling Angel back into the room.

"Dammit, I can't wait all day."

"Well, you're gonna have to. Not unless you want to-"

Angel held up his hand. "Please, no more me-walking-around-on-fire jokes."

"Ok." She noticed her girlfriend standing by the door, watching the recent commotion going on, with an amused smile on her face. That reminded her, "Oh crap, uh, Angel. Angel? Listen to me." Angel had resumed his original pacing about, not listening to Willow. "Angel, I have to go to work now, but please please promise me you'll be here when I get back. Wait until dark before you go off doing your knight-in-shining-armour thing."

"Yes, good … fine, you do that." said Angel, not really concentrating.

Rolling her eyes, Willow headed to the bedroom to get ready, with Tara following her.

Angel looked at the door. "I'm going to find her." He said to himself.

"I'm going to find her."