August 25:
I started work today. Was afraid I'd end up being late, and so slept in my brown vintage corduroy suit. Discovered Corduroy does not wrinkle, but silk tie does, and had to steal ugly purple polka-dotted bow tie from Grandpa Moto. Wonder if I look ridiculous, and will have to go shopping later today. Must find way to sneak Yugi's credit card again...
My first class started at 8 and was full of young, irresponsible, exhausted, rather stupid mortals. But as I remember, lack of sleep is one of the first steps of torture and brain washing.
Holy crap, I've discovered why school begins before the sun rises!
Gave them 20-page test to see what they know of ancient civilizations. Was some grumbling from students, and made mental note of their faces. Quickly docked them 70 points.
Naturally the class won't know some of the questions (for instance, 'What was the result of the poll taken by Ramses the Third, asking what each household of the nobles preferred for mid-day meal?' Or 'Who came up with the idea of mummification, and what were his/her reasons?' 'How was mummification actually 'discovered'?' 'What significance did gold play for Osiris?') But by the end of the term, they will know, or my name isn't Yugioh The History Teacher.
Will ignore fact that it is not my name.
Lunch:
Cannot understand reason for having lunch at 10 in the morning, but am not yet in position to overthrow school board and change schedules so they are reasonable.
Ate strange food. Was called 'Brunch'...recognized sausages and shredded potatoes, but cannot tell if the other part was scrambled eggs or the aftermath of the cooks' rumored drinking habits.
I went for a walk, as I had no classes for three hours after lunch, and I came up with a wonderful idea. Wonder why it didn't come to me until today, and must assume that I have been spending too much time around Tea again.
Anyway...as I am rather poor at the minute, why not make someone else pay for my apartment? The bank won't do it, and frankly, I'm still quite pissed off with them, so will find other means.
Then heard a student complaining about a "room mate". Of course! If I let them stay in my apartment, they will HAVE to pay! Therefore, will begin "Roomy Hunt" in between classes.
Later:
The Great Roommate Hunt is not going well. Discovered that, as I am a professor, I cannot move in with a student. Had to scratch out all the girls' names who have come and hit on me since beginning work today. Went to talk to fellow school wardens (aka 'professors') and discovered most of them are married. Those that aren't...well...here I will expound on the story behind "Ms. Hansen Is A Dog":
Me: "Good afternoon, Miss Hansen."
She looked up at me, then back at her paperwork. Then said, "Ms. Hansen."
I was surprised. This woman was hostile (got a voice that would freeze over Thebes) and all I did was greet her. "Pardon?"
"Miz Hansen," she snapped, finally looked at me again. "'Miss' indicates that you think I am single."
"Aren't you?" I became very confused, and a tad pissed with her. How dare she speak to me like this?
"Yes," she drawled out. "Are you implying I can't find a spouse? That I am somehow less of a person because I don't have a golden shackle around my finger?"
I blinked a few times. Was wondering if this is really the same school I started at this morning? Her attitude is very 'Seto-Kaiba'. "No, that's not at all what I-"
"Oh fine," she snorted. "What is it that you want, Mister....?"
Good, asking for my name. I thought maybe she wanted to start over on the right foot. "I have been called many things. Pha--er, Yugioh...."
"I didn't ask for your life story," she cut me off (again). "Just give me your name. Is it Yug-whats-it or not?"
"No," I could feel my magical third eye beginning to glow. Took much effort to stop it. "I am called Yami."
"Mr. Yami? Aren't you the new Ancient Civilizations Professor?"
"Yes." I tried very hard at that point not to bear a grudge and get to some friendly ground. If there is any with this woman. "What do you teach?"
"Women's Studies."
Okay.....what??? What would they study in a class called 'Women's Studies'...? Suddenly, I was thinking very, very bad, un-Yugi-safe thoughts. I stammered out something like, "Oh, I see," which offended her (again).
"What do you mean by that?"
"Ah, just that I...it is....an interesting topic, but not one that I would...ah, that is to say...."
"Did you come here to get to know me, or criticize my work?"
I shook my head. "I came to ask if you would come live with me in my new apartment, since you are single and you live alone."
She turned a very disgusting red-purple color. "Get out! You chauvinistic-"
At which point I ran out the door and barricaded it with some desks that were in the hall for cleaning.
Have been avoiding co-workers ever since.
5 am the next day:
Can't sleep. Yugi snores sometimes, and it makes Millennium Item rattle. Tried to cover his face with his stuffed tiger when he first started some years ago, but then I couldn't explain myself because he thought I was trying to kill him and wouldn't listen to me.
Went out and watched TV. A strange sitcom came on...about...room mates! Why must they torture me so? They seem so blissfully happy. Sharing rent, bathroom, kitchen, amusing stories, and hugs. Believe it to be an omen.
Once I finished crying (Joey, if you are reading this, I have placed a curse on my book in the form of pepper spray which will go off....now) and feeling sorry for myself, Ra (the sun) came up and I said "Yes, Father, I can find a roommate AND an apartment."
Surely he believes me. Well? Don't you? ...Please?
Yugi is up. Must hide diary and get ready for work. (Forgot to mention shopping yesterday: Yugi saw me in his grandfather's old suit. Will try to forget his reaction, but am certain you can imagine. He was nice and took me to a custom tailor shop, figuring I was having an after-life crisis because he was moving away and that was why I was dressed so strangely. Fortunately, got very nice new clothes for work. Unfortunately, Yugi found out about previous times I took his wallet, and due to mind link knew it wasn't Joey or Tristan. Got thumped, but I was too happy with my new clothes to fight back.)